(Title taken from: Back To Me by The Rose)
"John fucking Constantine, you fucking asshole! Do you realize what you've done this time?! This time- who the fuck am I kidding?! You do this every damn time. Why- why the fuck am I even arguing with you at this point?! You always fucking do this, I- I'm fucking done with you!" Zee yells, tears stinging at her eyes.
"You're not fucking worth the energy, Constantine," she spits.
I could make you mad, I could make you scream
I could make you cry, I could make you leave
"How the fuck I ended up in your bed at any point in time is beyond me." She laughs in disbelief and smiles, gazing upwards. "I fucking hate you, John Constantine. There's no use in even trying to save you, at this point." Her hands carded through her hair, and she sighed. "John, I'm fucking done with you."
And just like that, she's gone in the poof of a spell.
I could go after her, but let's be honest, that'll not do me any good.
I can do god knows everything, but fucking forbid I don't fuck up with Zee.
I could make you hate me for everything
But I can't make you come back to me
"Another one, sir."
"Fuck you mean another one? That's your fourth tonight. I'm cutting you off."
"Bugger off, I know my damn limits."
"Not a chance."
Security, and here we go.
"You've had one too many, sir. Time for you to go home."
"Yeah, yeah."
I can never fucking realize how much she means to me when I'm sober. Only on nights like this...
Fuck...
Remembering all of the times she was there for me... it's too fucking much.
Why can't I just love her, exhibit love like a regular fucking person.
"Zee, Zee, no.. no!"
Bolted up awake, breathing heavily.
"John, love, it's- it's alright, babe..." I expect to hear.
I turn to my side, but she's not fucking there.
Yeah, I took it all for granted
Why did I do that...
Why didn't I love her?
Stumbled out of bed and found my phone.
I need to apologize...
"Hi, this is Zatanna Zatara. Please leave a message."
"Zee, I'm- I'm sorry for all the shit I put you through. Call me back, we can work through this..."
*
"Who the- where the fuck am..."
"Good morning, beautiful," an unfamiliar, deep voice sounded next to me. What the-
The events from last night came flashing back to me as the headache came back.
"You look a little lonely. Need some company?"
"Damn, you're hot..."
"Fuck- fuck me harder... please.."
"Right... um... Conner..?" Now that I got past the blinding sun and part of my hangover, I got a good look at the guy.
What the fuck was I thinking?
How drunk was I?
I hope he was good, at least.
"I'm impressed."
The guy, Conner, smiled at me, gently holding my face.
"You- I- I should-"
My phone rang, cutting me off. "Hey, who's- who's Jo-"
"Don't pick up. Hang- hang up."
Why the fuck is he calling me this early in the morning? I know damn well he's still asleep or trying to at this time.
"Boyfriend?"
"Ex. Just hung up on me. No- you don't need to worry about him."
"I can see why..."
"I'm sorry, I- I need to go..."
Now, I'm thе rain over your parade
*
"Where's your whore, Constantine?"
"Bold of you to assume I can't kick your arse without her. Don't need her. Worked fine without her, I'll manage without."
"You've grown dependent on her, John..."
"Like hell I have. I'll bet I can still kick your arse back to Hell."
"Bold promises, empty ones. Let's see if the great Constantine holds up to what he is supposed to be..."
"Let's play, you bloody arsehole."
Fifteen minutes and a whole lot of spells later, and this arsehole's back where he belongs.
"Told this fucking shithead that I didn't need Zee..." I mutter, lighting a cigarette. "Fuck, I need a drink."
"Dinah, Dinah, please, Luv, jus' let me talk to Zee, just for a m-"
"You're out of your mind if you think she would even want to see your face, let alone-"
"Just for two minutes."
"Hell no. She doesn't want anything to do with you. Do you have any idea how many times she's cried over you? Are you fucking insane? You don't deserve to even see her, let alone talk to her."
"I have the ability to fucking teleport, Dinah. Don't make me."
"If you actually loved her? You wouldn't need to fucking magic your way to see her. John, let her be. It's been a fucking week, you haven't died yet."
"Yet, being the key word. Had some pretty close calls."
"Then pick your fights wiser, John."
"Let me talk, jus' for-"
"You're drunk. Call her when you're sober, you'll have better luck then." She hung up. "For fuck's- you know what, fine."
My phone rang, once again. "John Constantine, Master of the Dark Arts, blah, blah, blah. How can I help you, arsehole?"
"John, you can st-... you're drunk, I'll call you back later."
"Nah, nah, calm down, Anne. I can handle whatever bloody arsehole's bothering you this time, regardless of how many drinks I've had. What's going on, now?" Leave it to Anne, take all the fun out of being drunk. As soon as magic is involved, I sober up real fast.
"Some Tier-Two dipshit's bothering a friend of mine. You won't need backup, at least, I hope not. Zee should be-"
"We split, Love. I'm on my own."
"Are you insane? You know that she-"
"Relax, I don't need her. Never have, never will. Where's this shithead?"
"23 Levanter, Gotham City."
"I'll be there."
"Alright, arsehole, come out an' let's play! I know you're here! Don' make me force you out!" I shout to the seemingly empty room after the resident evacuated.
"John Constantine..."
"There it is! You know mine, I think it's high time I know yours! Tell me your name!"
"Aw... bloody hell, I need backup. She's gonna fuckin' kill me, bloody- adducere zatanna zatara hic!"
"What the- JOHN! I'm gonna fuckin kill you..."
"Sorry, Love, I needed some backup."
"What'd you say about not needing her? Guess you need your whore after all."
I remember thinkin', I don't need you
But then time passed by and it's so untrue
"Good work, Zee."
"Great, now never bother me again."
"Love, pl-"
"You spend all this time fucking basically harassing me, calling me nonstop, just to fucking magic me into a fight?!"
"Wasn' anticipating needing help, Love. You were the first that came to mind about who can help me."
"P- point is, John, you can't just do this to me!"
"Can we fight this out not in a public space?"
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever the fuck you want, Constantine."
After a quick teleport back, she shoved me. "What the fuck?!"
"Zee, I'm- I'm sorry..."
"There's not enough motherfucking "sorry"s in the world that can make up for the shit that you've done! Every fucking time, I gave you my all! Every time I came running back to you, I gave you everything! And what did you fucking give me?! Nothing. Absolutely, fucking, nothing."
You gave me all that I could take
Yeah, I took it all for granted
"At the very least, all I asked for was even an ounce of sympathy, something to show that you were there with me, that I just- just wasn't something to keep you occupied! But no, the great John Constantine couldn't even give me that! I don't- I don't know why the fuck I'm even bothering anymore, you're not worth the fucking effort. I- I should've listened to Dad, listened to Dinah, anyone and everyone that fucking told me that you weren't worth it... Every time you'd fuck up, I'd go running to Dinah, to anyone that would listen, and you know what they would tell me? 'He's not worth it, Zee. Why are you with him? You could do so much better, Zee.' I'm starting to think that maybe they were right. How many times have we tried this again!? Too many to count, John. Every fucking time, same damn fuck-ups you do..."
Yeah, I always keep makin' the same mistakes
Maybe I never deserved you anyways
"Zee, I'm- please, let me make this up to you, Love..."
"You're a conman, John. All you know how to do is lie. Make things fake. Nothing's real with you. Even when I thought it was, I... I was wrong..."
I could make a world out of broken dreams
"We're supposed to be fucking soulmates, John! Soulmates don't fuck only to leave the next morning, soulmates don't break each others' hearts over and over again! For fuck's sake, can we just be a normal-"
Zee, I'm- I'm sorry.."
I could unmake all we were made to be
"If I had a dime for every goddamn time you've said those two words to me, I'd be so fucking rich..."
"Love, please, give me another chance. I swear, Zee, I'll do it right this time..."
"Like Hell you will. All you fucking know how to do is ruin my life, over and over again... I'm done this time."
"Zee, wait, no-"
And just like that, she's gone again with a poof of a spell.
"Fuck!"
Callin' all day, tryna make things right
Just to fuck it all up when I see you tonight
*
"Zee, you said what?!"
"Called him out on all of his bullshit. I'm fucking done with it now..."
"Zee, I know you hate to admit it, but... you need him as much as he needs you."
"Bullshit, Dinah."
"Tell me, how are those nightmares going?"
"Fine, I..."
"Liar. With your conscience? Those motherfuckers are going to haunt you for the rest of your life."
"So what? I still get them when I'm with-"
"They're better when you're with John, right?"
I sigh. "Fuck... that's besides the point."
"How many times have you two saved the world together?"
"For fuck's... this time it's professional..."
"However you want to settle it, Zee."
"I should..."
"Yeah, you should..."
I smile at Dinah. "Can you leave, please?"
She nods. "Good luck, babes."
I open my phone after she leaves, and scroll down to the one that I thought I would never call.
"If you're getting this, I'm either held hostage by a demon, or I just hate your guts. Leave a message."
"John, I'm- I'm sorry for what I said last night. That got out of hand, I shouldn't... I didn't mean that."
I could make you say things you don't mean
"Even if we're not a couple, can we at least be on friendly terms where we don't want to kill each other? At least colleagues who can communicate normally... I'm sorry, John."
*
It's been fucking two months...
Tis is the longest that we've been apart since... I don't fucking remember.
"Constantine, we need you at the Eiffel Tower now."
"Is Z-"
"Yes, of course she's here. Who fucking cares? Get your a-"
"How serious is it?"
"A demon's trying to rip apart Paris. Get your ass over here."
"Alright, alright, fine."
I teleport to the place, no problem, and almost fall on top of Zee.
"Smooth, John. Ignoring my voicemail?"
"Wh... sorry, Love, must've missed your call."
She smiles. "Keep lying, John."
"Alright, lovebirds, let's kill this asshole."
"Shut the fuck up, Boston."
After the arsehole got thrown back to whatever planet he was from, Zee and I were sharing a celebratory drink in her room.
"Zee, Love-"
"I made a genuine apology, asked for us to be friends. What do you do? Fucking ghost me for two months."
"Zee, I'm-"
"Can you please say something other than those three words? I've heard them hundreds of times from your mouth, they don't really affect me anymore."
"Zee, listen, I'm sorry. When- when I saw your name, I wanted to pick up, so damn badly... when I heard your message, I wanted to call you back, visit you, anything... but then I remembered that you're better off without me."
"I can't make you go back to him, Zee., but... It... he's a better choice than the others..."
"Who the fuck says I need-"
"You're the last of the Zataras. You're the last of your line. You don't have kids? No more magical Zatara in the super workforce."
"And J-"
"Would you rather that asshole or Nick Necro?"
"Those-"
"Those two are the only good looking people that you've dated that aren't settled down yet," she points out.
Damn it.
"You don't know the shit he's put me through. I'm- I'm not going back to him. I don't give a fuck what he says, there's not enough bullshit that he can spew that'll make me go back to him willingly..."
But I can't make you come back to me
(A/N: School and dance kicked me in the ass, sorry for no updates ! probably won't change tbh, i have like five drafts but idk if i'll be able to get them out)