Bria POV (7.10.14)
I feel better, lol. I'm not pregnant. I just was going through something lol, I figured it out too. I walked in the house & Agnes barked at me.
Me: "You better cut that shit out."
I let her out her cage & she jumped on me then ran out the doggy door. I sat my phone on the counter & took my shirt off. It was 110 degrees outside & I wanted to DIE. As I was taking my pants off, Aug came in the door. He looked at me & shook his head.
August: "Why must you always take your clothes off?"
Me: "I was tryna get ready for you." He laughed & kissed my forehead.
August: "How was ya day?"
Me: "Good.. Um, before I forget.. We needa talk."
August: "What's good?"
I got cut off by the door.
August: "I got it, just go put some clothes on."
I hurried in the room & then I heard yelling.
August: "BRIA!" He yelled.
I went out & seen his facial expression...
August: "Go get my pole." I frowned, knowing he was referring to his gun.
Me: "Who is it?"
August: "Corneal."
Me: "Stop playing." I went to the peephole & looked out it. "I THOUGHT HE WAS LOCKED UP! IN NEW YORK!"
Corneal: "I actually just wanted to talk."
Me: "Shut the fuck up."
Corneal: "Yes ma'am."
Me: "Shit... Pole."
I jogged back in the room & got his gun then put a shirt & some pants on. I gave August the gun & he opened the door.
August: "Whatcha want?"
Corneal: "Why you gotta go & point guns at-"
Me: "CORNEAL!"
Corneal: "Aight man, chill. I got out fa a lil community service but I went back to the crib & got yo shit before they sold the place. On G shit, I wanted you to have this.. Cause you usually need it around this time of year. And yeah I know I've hurt you a lot in the past but it was all within me. I wanted to give this to you so you can finally sleep at night." He said looking me in my eyes.
He pulled my nana's box from behind his back. It was something my nana had given me when I was younger. It was empty. Nothing but her scent. But it meant so much to me. Just because she used to call it the Beauty of Emptiness. She put inspiring words in here. Good memories. Everything in this empty box made me happy because it was her. She was so empty with so much happiness & beauty.. Which always amazed me.
I hesitantly grabbed the box & looked at him. I opened it & it had a necklace in it. I looked at it & it was the necklace my great grand mother had given my nana & nana passed it down to my mom & my mom passed it down to me. One night Corneal & I had this really bad fight & he snatched it then I blacked out so I had no clue where it had went.
I cleared my throat, fighting off the tears that was slowly tryna fall.
Me: "U-uh.. Where did you find this?"
Corneal: "I actually always kept it with me. I knew it meant something to you.. So I kept it. *clears throat* um, ima go now & turn myself in. I just had to get that to you."
After he said that, he walked off. August shut the door & looked at me. I locked the door & sat the box on the kitchen table.
Me: "I... I need a second."
I walked in the bathroom & shut the door. I looked at myself in the mirror & sighed deeply. I can't do this..
Amanda POV
I knocked on Bria's door, but nobody answered. Yes. She dragged my ass out here with her. Me & Kirk. Well I dragged Kirk with me lol. I was ready knock again but the door swung open. Aug was holding Bria, bridal style & he had tears streaming down his face.
He didn't have to say anything because I basically knew what happened. I was just on my way to check on her cause she usually needs somebody this time of year. I followed them all the way to the hospital too. If I know one thing about Bria.. She's a strong woman but no woman is strong without a support system. At the end of the day.. She's still a woman. She's still very emotional & vulnerable. She still hurts. Even tho she hides it hella good with a nice ass smile.. The poor girl is crying inside. I've tried to help her over & over again but she won't accept it.. She doesn't wanna be saved.
August POV
I have no clue what happened. I know that they calling it an attempt of suicide & she overdosed. One day this woman gone be the death of me. I swea'. She's fine tho. They got to her in enough time to save her but that's not the point. I'm more pissed than anything, especially since I know she's okay. I don't wanna say anything to her to be honest but I need to.
Bria: "You aren't gonna say anything?"
Me: "Nope. I wanna hear yo story first." I said in a sarcastic tone.
Bria: "Augu-"
Me: "What da hell were you thinkin?! We talked about this shit! C'mon Bria, really? An ATTEMPT of SUICIDE is not okay! You coulda did anything else! Scream, cried, punched, I DONT CARE but what I care about is you.. I don't want you to end yo damn life, b! Y-"
Bria: "You giving me a headache.."
Me: "You gave me a panic attack! You was stretched out on the bathroom floor with pill bottles around you! T-"
Bria: "August, stop yelling at me. Just hear me out."
I leaned back in my chair & sighed.
Bria: "First, I'm sorry I scared you but I'm not sorry I 'attempted suicide'. I don't want to be here August. I don't. I'm not saying ima try to kill myself every chance I get but if somebody was to hold a gun up to me, I would ask them to pull the trigger." She paused. "... *sighs* my nana was in a abusive relationship for years... From like 20 up til she died. Her husband beat her so badly one night with a frying pan & it cracked her skull. When she did, it was around this time of year.. That's one reason why I've been acting like this. Not only that, for some weird reason, Corneal.. Every year, beat me like I was a dog. Mainly because I cried about my nana & because my attitude was terrible. Anyways, her box meant a lot to me & I had left it at the house.. And the necklace meant a lot to me too. It's too much pressure. And I'm tired of pressure. I'm tired of everything. I wish I could rewind time or start a new fucking identity."
Me: "Beybeh.. You can't give up tho.. Yo-"
Bria: "I know & if I told you I was fine, I'd be lying but.. I'll get through it.. I just gotta do something better than what I'm doing.. And if you don't mind, I don't wanna talk about it."
I sighed & stood up. I kissed her forehead & walked out the room. I need a blunt for this shit.
Bria POV *next night*
After yesterday, I decided I truly needed a break. I didn't want to drag August into my mess again. Although he swears I'm not, I know I am & I hate putting him through my bullshit. I zipped my suitcase & tip toes out the room. I wrote a note & left. I locked the door & got in my car. Lord.. Give me strength.
August POV
This morning I woke up & the bed was empty. I rolled over & got up. I stretched then went in the bathroom. I brushed my teeth & washed my face. I walked in the kitchen, looking down at Agnes.
Me: "Aye Bri-" I stopped, noticing it was empty. "Bria?"
I looked around, landing on a paper on the counter. I went to it & looked at it.
Me: "I'm not dead or on a crazy path.. I just need to get myself together.. And I need to do it alone so I left. If for whatever reason, I don't return, I want you to know I love you with all my heart & I could say it in a million ways but thank you for taking care of a very lost cause. But! If I do come back, I promise we can talk about anything you want & I'll be better. Um.. I love you dearly & take care of Agnes please."
This some bullshit. I have no words to be honest.
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