September 7 |10:42 am
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOVA" Kela jumped on my bed, waking me out my sleep. Kadir blew a party horn in my face. "Happy birthday fat head." He said as they both stood over me.
I was irritated already. "Get up dad made breakfast." Kadir said removing the covers off of me as him and Kela exited my room. I rolled over to get my phone and see everybody texting me happy birthday and posting me. I didn't bother to look through them because posting is this generation's excuse for an actual gift, sad.
I got out the bed, taking my time since I haven't spoken to my dad since Sahil told me he spoke with him. "Hey Ocean." I said as he climbed up my legs, he jumped tryna get me to pick him up.
"I'm doing something." I snapped and he ran back to his corner in my room where he had his toys, bed and bowls at.
I did my oral and face routine and put something on to go downstairs in, Ocean followed. He ran out the back once we made it down there, probably to go potty. I went in the kitchen where my dad and Kela was.
"Happy birthday babygirl." My dad said walking over to me, kissing my head. "Thanks." I said. "You didn't tell me thank you." Kela rolled her eyes, with a mouth full of food.
"Because you jumped on me." I mugged her. "What you got planned today?" My dad asked. "Nothing, going to see mom." I said and the room went silent. "AHHHHH" Kadir yelled running in the kitchen as Ocean chased him.
"Bruh that mf just tried to kill me." He said tryna catch his breath. I shook my head at him, picking Ocean up. "Don't spend the whole day there Keysi, you 18. You need to enjoy it." My dad said pushing a plate of food across the island to me.
I fed Ocean my bacon since I don't eat it. "I don't got nothing else to do, i'm going to new york with Sahil tomorrow." I said making Kadir choke. "Who said you can do that?" He asked and I mugged him. "Does that mean I can keep Ocean while you're gone?" Kela said and Ocean popped his head up.
"If he wants you to." I shrugged. "I'm stuck on her going by herself with Kurse." Kadir and looking at dad. "Leave your sister alone, how many females you done been with out of town?" My dad asked.
"This ain't about me, what yall going to new york for?" He asked and I thought for a moment since I didn't wanna tell them about the meeting and jinx it. "It's just a birthday trip." I said. "He paying for everything right?" My dad asked me making me get up from the island.
"I gotta go, love yall." I said shooing them
away as they complained and asked more questions.
I went back upstairs and packed Ocean a bag of his essentials since we were gonna be out all day. I brushed his fur and put some coconut oil through it to keep his fur soft.
"Okay go." I pointed to the door and he ran out to go back downstairs. I shut my door, getting ready for a shower.
I turned on my music and hopped in the shower and washed my body, I did some shaving since I was going to be with my man tomorrow.
I got out after about 30 minutes and dried myself off then changing into my robe. I walked out the bathroom and heard scratching and whining on my door. I opened it and Ocean ran back in, jumping everywhere but he quickly settled down and played in his corner.
I picked up one of his balls and threw it, as he ran around tryna catch it. I laughed at him and went back to getting ready.
I needed to change up my closet again since it's getting cold, these summer clothes aren't going to work.
I put on an all black jumpsuit and my panda dunks, I wasn't into dressing up extra because it was my birthday. I finished getting myself ready and got Ocean ready so we can leave out.
＊＊＊
11:43 am
"Hey mom." I gave a small wave to her stone as Ocean laid in my lap. Surprisingly, he knows when to relax and not act crazy even though we're outside.
I placed a bouquet of pink roses on her grave.
I just stared at her stone, looking at the dates. Still can't believe she died in 2017, it feels like yesterday. I normally record all my visits but something just told me not to this time.
I sat there talking to her, trying to distract myself from the real reason I was here because I knew it would make me cry. "Happy birthday" I whispered almost choking on my words.
& this is why I don't like my birthday.
I've been the most positive about her death but I feel like i'm the one struggling with it the most. The truth is, she was missing so much. Ocean, my clothing line accomplishments, Kela growing up, my first time going to new york without her, my first boyfriend, OUR birthdays. I haven't made peace with knowing that she's not coming back.
I know Kadir hasn't, that's why he's doing girls the way that he does. Scared of getting attached and then something happening to the girl he's with. Kela used to be a very social child but since my mom died, she's closed off to everybody except us.
My dad is the worst, he loves his children but not how he did when my mom was alive. This parenting shit was her thing, he just gave her whatever she wanted and she wanted 3 of us but my dad doesn't really know what to do, i fear. Me and Kadir are basically grown so we're just trying to make it work for Kela but a part of all of us died with her.
I stayed there talking to her for about two more hours, Ocean had fell asleep on me and I still had errands to run before the trip tomorrow.
I picked up Ocean and walked back to my car, putting him in his doggie seat that Sahil made me get. I looked on my phone, seeing what else I had to do
＊＊＊
5:38 pm
I was pulling up at Kadir house because he said he had something for me. Sahil's car was in the driveway, which I was confused about because he didn't mention anybody else.
I used my key to open the door and walked in. Rhyon, Sahil and Kadir stared at me, probably tryna figure out why my eyes were puffy. Well Kadir knew.
"Happy birthday girly." Rhyon said hugging me tighter than ever. "Thank you" I said softly as Kadir went in the kitchen and Rhyon followed him.
"Happy birthday baby." Sahil walked over to me, pulling me into his chest and just holding me. "It's okay." He said kissing my head as he heard me sniffling.
"Happy birthday to y- Ngl i'm not singing that shit, here." Kadir came back with a red velvet cake with white icing and the number 18 in candles. I laughed wiping my face. "I told him to get something on it, it's so plain." Rhyon said.
"But it's gon taste good asf, watch." He said and I stared at the cake before blowing the candles out.
"Hold on yall gon need to sit down when yall eat this." He said taking the cake back in the kitchen. "This shit better taste like heaven because you doing the most." I said as we followed him in the kitchen.
I put Ocean down and ran around Sahil while I washed my hands and Rhyon grabbed plates. "So i know it's your birthday but ima cut this into 4 pieces because you only gon need 1 piece." He said cutting the cake in half vertical and horizontal.
"You the worst brother ever, how is you gon tell her she only get one piece of her cake." Rhyon said and I just sat there shaking my head. "Bro trust me." He kept saying as he put the cake on our plates.
We all took our forks, chopping a piece off and eating it with no hesitation. "Ah shit." I said noticing the cannabis flavored infused with the cake. "Kadir why would you do that?" Rhyon said as Kadir was taking big bites of his piece. I looked over at Sahil laughing, taking big bites of his too before dapping up Kadir.
"Yall niggas bout to be high off yall ass." Kadir said walking away with his plate.
worst best brother ever
𝓚
𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙
"happy birthday baby"
/ i need it