The three walked into the building and Kali shivered, trying to warm up a bit. Lila had her jacket tightly wrapped around herself but slowly let her grip loosen as she looked around at the ruined building. "Holy shit.." She gaped. "I was just here, how long was I bloody gone?"
Five glanced down at Kali and gave her a teasing smirk when he noticed she was shaking from the cold. "It's not even that cold, you big baby." He snickered.
"Pardon?! It's colder than a witches titties out here, im gonna freeze to death." She exaggerated, telepathically.
Five chuckled, "Wow, someones a tad dramatic."
She glared at him and he raised his hands in defence, walking a few steps away just in case she decided to punch him when he turned his back. She had a tendency to hit. Especially when he teased, it was payback.
Five stepped over some fallen chunks of rubble, nearly tripping. "Well, it seems the grandfather paradox is affecting everything. Even places out of time." He set down the briefcase and adjusted his cuff link.
"Is that even possible?" Lila questioned.
Kali took his moment of distraction as an opportunity and kicked the back of his knee, making his legs automatically buckle.
"AH-" He grabbed Kali's shoulder but she remained her ground with just a little stumble forward. Five, however, did not manage to stay on his feet, he went tumbling to the ground and landed on his knees and hands.
Lila thought this was absolutely hilarious as she doubled down and put her hands on her knees, laughing her ass off. "It looks like you're getting prepared to have anal sex!" She gasped out between her laughs.
Five quickly got to his feet and wiped the dust off his suit. He groaned in annoyance and turned his glare from Lila to Kali.
"Was that necessary?" He asked rhetorically.
Kali smiled mischievously and nodded aggressively. "Watch your back." She threatened, her smile growing.
He grumbled something under his breath and looked back at Lila who was now wiping tears out of her eyes. "Compose yourself." He demanded, unamused.
"That was fucking amazing." Lila defended, finally getting ahold of her laughter.
Kali nodded in agreement and Five just kept whispering profanities under his breath as he picked the briefcase back up. Kali ruffled his hair as he straightened to show that she was simply playing around and didn't mean to embarrass him or anything. He gave a slight smile to reassure her that he didn't really take offense. He would've been laughing his arse off on that floor right now if Lila wasn't there.
He dusted his suit off again and continued to answer Lila's question but Kali wasn't listening as a crumbling sound from the ceiling caught her attention. She stared up at it as a long crack spread across it, growing bigger and bigger. Eight slowly reached out and gently tugged her boyfriends sleeve. The rumbling grew louder and out of pure impulse she just yanked him backwards.
Five stumbled a couple steps back and at that exact second, the rest of the ceiling that was remaining above them, fell.
"Holy shit!" Lila and him exclaimed in sync.
He looked to Kali and smiled slightly, "Thanks, love. You're my hero." He teased. She playfully rolled her eyes but didn't let go of his sleeve, just in case she needed to save him again.
"We better get moving." Five spoke. "Kal and I will check the Infinite Switchboard."
Lila nodded, "I'll check Herb's office, I guess. Little cockroach would survive anything."
Five and Kali began walking up the stairs to their left and Lila started down the hallway to the right.
"Bye!"
"See ya." Five grumbled, Kali waved with her free hand.
Lila resumed her mission, then turned around once again, "Miss you!"
"That's weird." Five stated plainly and Kali chuckled quietly.
The two got to the second floor and Kali was sure to stay close by Five's side, practically pressing herself against him as they walked down the creepy hall. It was darker up here. The walls were crumbling and some had huge holes to reveal a mostly pitch black room with a few electrical sparks occasionally shooting up as they passed or flickering lights. The sound of dripping water from broken pipes echoed throughout the whole second floor, probably landing on some sort of metal rubbish by the sound of it. Not to mention how fucking cold it was, just adding to the eery feeling that this whole place gave off. It was like a horror movie in Kali's eyes. Some demonic creature was probably gonna appear behind them at any second, start screeching, and then chase after them at full speed. On all fours as well. DAMMIT, WHY WOULD SHE THINK OF THAT?! Now she had to look behind her every two seconds, just as a precaution, you know?
Five kicked a piece of metal and it clattered loudly as it bounced off the wall and onto the floor again. Kali jumped and gasped, her heart feeling like it literally just lodged itself in her throat and stopped pumping for a few seconds.
She slapped Five's arm and glared at him. He chuckled softly, "Sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you."
She shivered slightly, as if to shake off her anxiety and they continued walking.
Five led her into a room on their right and looked around. Surprisingly, almost everything was intact. The room was also quite a bit brighter than all the other rooms they walked past, maybe just a bit dimmer than the hallway.
"Okay." Five mumbled to himself and handed the briefcase to Kali. He wiped off a screen and leaned down, pressing some technical buttons that Kal didn't even bother try and figure out. "Okay. That's good." Five spoke to himself as he made sure they all worked. He twisted a knob and the screen turned on to show Herb.
"There's been a rip in the space-time continuum." The recording of Herb spoke, his voice staticky. "It's swallowing everything. Oh, my sweet Dot, Iris. Josh from accounting, they're all gone."
Five turned the knob again and the video fast forwarded.
"I've tried everything! I don't know what else to do. The timeline is collapsing." He whimpered as the electronics behind him sizzled and sparked. Screaming could be heard in the background and the man looked back to the camera. "This is... the end." He then screamed in agony as he faded away to dust.
Five looked down sadly for the loss of Herb, he genuinely liked that guy.
"What in the Thanos snap is going on.." Kali whispered very quietly.
Lila walked into the room and the sound of her voice made the girl jump again. "I could go for some scrambled eggs right now." She informed.
Five looked over his shoulder at her, then back at the now blank screen. "This is bigger than the timeline, Lila."
"Whats bigger than the timeline?" She quizzed.
Five turned around to face the girls, "The entire universe." They nodded in agreement but still not catching on to what he meant yet. Kali was just slow and Lila was plain stupid. "The missing dogs, people... it's the opposite of the big bang. Instead of the universe expanding, it's now collapsing in on itself."
It clicked in both the girls minds.
"Like a collapsing rectum." Lila nodded in understanding.
Kali held back a laugh as Five gave her a strange look. "That's a weird analogy, but yeah." He agreed.
"Here, then." She held up a thick, green book. "This might give us some answers."
He took it and looked at the golden symbole on the front of it. "Master Handbook." He gaped. Kali reached out and grabbed the air to show she wanted a look so Five handed it over.
"The one and only." Like nodded, raising her arms and spinning round. She sat down on a stool as Kali handed the book back and Five flipped through the pages.
Lila stuck pencils between her fingers and created a fist. Eight smiled as Lila growled and scratched the air, "Wolverine."
"Here we are." Five traced his fingers along the words. "Okay, Protocol. 'In the unlikely case of the grandfather paradox, the founder and any essential personnel should-'
Lila hopped up and read the rest, " '-be immediately remanded to the operations bunker.' The founder." Five slowly closed the book. "What founder?" She questioned.
The roof began crumbling again and quickly dropped directly above them. Kali raised her hands and the rubble floated upwards a bit, then completely paused in the air.
Lila sighed in relief, "Phew, thanks, Kali." She beamed and patted the girls shoulder. Kali flinched and tensed up, nearly dropping the broken ceiling on them. "Shit, sorry. I forgot." Lila apologized, and she could tell it was genuinely sincere.
Five scoffed in agitation and glared at Lila in hatred, it was clear he had lost all of respect for her - if he even had any in the first place. Kali compacted all the floating rubble into a square with her powers and set the big cube in the opposite side of the room. She gave the two a thumbs up and Five gave her a slight smile, "Thanks, Kal."
He looked back to Lila, his glare returning. "We need to find that bunker-"
"ASAP" The two spoke in sync.
"Jinx." Lila pointed out. "A-B-C-1-2-3, personal padlock."
Five walked out of the room with Kali close on his heals. "Can you not-"
"You can't speak!" Lila exclaimed, following them out.
He just sighed in annoyance and shut his mouth.
"Heyy, now we're both mute." Kali teased telepathically.
Five snickered, "I guess we are." He thought, knowing she was already in his head so she could hear his thoughts.
Kali grabbed onto his sleeve again and rubbed the fabric of his suit between her index finger and thumb.
~
After a while of searching a couple more floors, the three walked up yet another staircase. Five had been reading while they walked around and Kali saved him from running into a wall, countless times. He finally spoke for the first time since he was jinxed by Lila and she did nothing to stop it this time.
"This is just like a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit. There's no clear directives in here about crisis management." He shut the book and groaned. "You know, I shouldn't even be here. I was... I was out. I was done, and yet here I am, swept back into the chaos. Why cant i just escape this hellhole?" He questioned and shoved the book under his armpit for a second so he could scratch his neck, since Kali had his other arm.
"Because you love it." Lila answered.
He grabbed the book again and then farted. They all stopped walking and Five's cheeks turned a dark red as Kali giggled and backed up a couple steps.
"My bad." He excused and continued walking as if nothing happened and Lila went along with it. Kali, however, will replay this memory in his head the next time they're with their family, just so he can get all embarrassed again.
She grabbed onto his sleeve again, kinda scared to be close to Lila, it just gave her a bit of a fright whenever the woman touched her.
"Face it, Five, apocalypse problems are the only things that get your heart pumping."
"I don't know why people keep saying that." He snarled. "I dont actually like chaos. I don't want disorder. I...I want retirement."
Kali seriously felt so bad for Five, right now. Her heart was physically hurting.
Lila chuckled, "Yeah, right. What? Like a normal life of groceries and taxes? You would die of boredom."
"No, I wouldn't. I'd eventually be married to this beauty. I'd never get bored." He smiled happily at his girl, who deeply blushed and turned her gaze down to the floor. "And face it, Lila. You're not cut out for domestic bliss either."
He handed her the book and opened the painted blue door in front of them and led Kali inside. Lila stood outside it for a second, looking a bit hurt but quickly brushed it away, "Course i'm bloody not. Thank God!" She followed them in.
The door led them to a small stone staircase that spiralled down to the very bottom floor. You know those medieval staircases that led down to dungeons and there was always skeletons sitting in the corner, with melted wax candles, and an ancient scroll in the center of the room or something? Thats what this staircase remind Kali of.
Five and Kali tuned out Lila as she went on about how he could improve the way he talks to people so he doesn't sound so rude all the time. "I don't know, maybe it's a tone thing? All i'm saying, is that you could really improve the way you speak. It can be very irritating."
They finally reached the bottom of the stairs and there was two very dark hallways on either side of them. Five turned left and the two girls followed, Kali struggling to stay beside him now that the hall was a bit thinner from fallen rubble.
Five sighed in satisfaction at something and Kali finally managed to squeeze herself beside him.
"Why are you smiling, you little pisspot?" Lila questioned, irritated at his sudden mood change.
He lifted a finger and pointed ahead of them to a glowing sign above a door. "Cause of that."
Lila smiled, "Ah, well you could have led with that."
(Words: 2455)
!!PLEASE READ!!
AN: IM ALIVE. MWAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
So, starting off with an apology. I am truly sorry that I haven't updated in like a trillion years but I genuinely think i'm gonna start updating more, i mean it. I know that a lot of people actually stopped reading my books cause of my inactivity and it's sad but i completely understand. All the new readers i've been getting made me realize that i really do love writing and i adore reading all the comments. I love my readers so so much and i'm very sorry i left you all.
Now on another note. For the people who read my other book you already know this but for those who don't, i'd like to say that i've changed my name and pronouns and i hope that it doesn't upset anyone cause i genuinely don't know if i can handle anything negative rn😀 I now go by asher and use he/him. so yeah..
also my tiktok is asherthesmasher6, if y'all want a face reveal.. my tiktoks are cringey but oh well.
that's all i have to say..👍
i love you all so so much <3
-ash :)