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By Shy_Girl14

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Reviews
SINK YOUR TEETH IN ME (boyxboyxboy)
His Works
Go Away, Bad Boy
Rags to Riches
The Accidental Skype Call (One Direction Fanfic)
1DGV
Facades
Breaking Sherlock
Rescued (A Louis Tomlinson Fanfiction)
Story Of Larry
Over Again (Louis Tomlinson Fanfic)
My Quirky Life
Story of Larry (Re-review)
The Challenge [Book One In The Challenge Serie]
Inked Innuendos [l.p.] one shot
Louis Daughter
Back to Reality
25 Acts // Larry Stylinson
Lux's Nurse
The Guy Directioner // h.s
whiskey || h.s au
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Make it go Poo poo
Spring Break Love (One Direction and Little Mix fanfic)
Forbidden Romance (A Dramione fanfic)
Ruined
White Walls
Breathe
Attention
The Chaos
Torn Apart (Re-review)
Bad Boys Need To Be Punished (Teacher/Student)
The Real World
Fade; Rise of the Shadows
Supposed to be Hidden/ Harry Styles
Unusual Kind
Ghost in my room
I Can Handle It
Learning to love him
Down to Darkness
Reflection
The Shape Shifter
The new bad boy// Austin Mahone
Beaumont Academy
The Colour of Black
Not Everyone is a Supermodel
Army Of Angels
Saving Grace
Color
We Adopted A... Boy?!
From Rags to Riches
A Tale of Two Sorcerers
The Fear List
Taming the Author
Save Me Alpha King
Coven
Virus 2.0
Never Stop Trying
Inarnian Moonstones?
Paradise
Asher
I Never Said "I Do"
Destiny (Ralph Love Story)
Black
Nephilims Mark
Falling For the Doctor
The Entirety of Being
Penance
Jumper
Let the Old Dreams Die
SUE
That Was All She Wrote
The Labyrinth of my Mind
Shadow Hunter
My Forbidden Ambition
Left For Dead
Refugees of The World
My Forbidden Ambition
Coloring Book
A Witch's Tale
My Guardian Spirit
Insider
Dear Coma Girl
Julliard
Big Surprise
Little Sister
Who Has Me?
Why Us?
The Strays
Oppression
Wayward Kinship
Queen of Treason
Internal Affliction
Fall For You
Onihunter Yuna
Secrets Hidden by Mia
I'm Writing this for You
We All Have Our Role to Play
Tone Death
The Heart's Darkness
Bully to Bullied
The Girl in The Window
Where All Ends Meet
I remember my love
JUST A MEAL
The Edge of a Sword

Diving into the Deep End

60 2 1
By Shy_Girl14

dedicated @FUYUK0 

PLOT AND IDEA: Interesting

SUMMARY: "If you don't want to sink, you better figure out how to swim." Gabriel said, his hazel eyes holding a deep emotion I couldn't quite comprehend.

I had a feeling that he was not only referring to my lack of ability to swim but my growing feelings towards him. Feelings that I could never act on.

"That's some groundbreaking advice right there." I said clapping, attempting to diffuse the tension in the air. "Someone, please, hand this genius a medal."

*~*~*~*~

When the small town of Burman attracts the attention of the government due to the growing risk of drowning, a swimming project seems to be the only solution.This project brings together two people that could not be leading more opposite lives. Whilst she felt totally and utterly alone, he enjoyed a life full of loving and understanding people.It might seem like their differences would make it difficult for them to accept one another and set their differences aside. But maybe, deep inside, they weren't as different they first thought.


MY REVIEW: First of all,  when I first saw your cover I absolutely loved it. 

Anyway lets begin;

You have a good spacing and paragraphing for the most part from what I've read so and seen so far, but some parts need just a little bit of help. (You sometimes separate your dialogue and actions that happen right afterwards.) Your story is very interesting, but you have grammar issues and the flow is a bit shaky due to the fact that your tense switches often. 

Although you do have good capitalization, but the punctuation could use some help in a few areas. (P.s. don't forget the punctuation in the dialogue.) You could be a bit more descriptive in your story as you move along. (You start being less descriptive the more I continued to read.) No true character development from the parts I did read; they seemed to not develop very much in the first few chapters.

Your dialogue gets better as I get further into the story, but I am waiting for your plot to fully set in. The cover I'm assuming ties in with the fact of your main characters fear, so it seems very good for the story. The transition seems quite good, not rocky at all.


RATING: 7


OVERALL: Nice story, just a few errors here and there.

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