It’s the day before the Chelsea game at the Emirates. We have a light training session this morning.
Over the last week I have had 2 random drug tests at club. I had the results for the first they were negative as I knew it would be. Today I’m getting the results of the second test. I don’t think I will be able to play against Chelsea but I’m just relieved that most of the girls are talking to me again. I think some still have their reservations but I will prove them all wrong. I have never taken drugs in my life and I never would. I worked hard to get to where I am today. This was always my dream so I would have always put in the hard work to achieve it.
Jordan has been back a couple of times this week. The first time was a surprise for both me and Leah. It has actually been really nice spending time with both of them. I feel like its much needed for all of us. Jordan has a game today then after she is coming home. She has been invited to the Emirates tomorrow by Arsenal to get the well deserved send off from the fans.
I’ve just made me and Leah breakfast she is still getting ready. Blu has been pottering around my feet since I got up. I love having him here. Gives Jordan another excuse to come home more.
Clearly, I was missing Jordan a lot this morning, she is all I can think about. So I got my phone out of my pocket and sent her a text.
Dani-Morning Jord, just wanted to say good luck for the game. I can’t wait t see you later xx
Jordy💜-Morning Dan, Thanks. I can’t wait to see both of you. I’m counting down the minutes xx
Dani- ❤️❤️❤️
Leah came into the kitchen I gave her her Oj. As she wasn’t a fan of hot drinks. I don’t know why they are the best in my opinion. She said “Thanks”
I said “It’s ok” I still had my phone in my hand and I was smiling down at it.
She said “who’s got you smiling like that. I thought those were only reserved for me”
“I can’t smile at anyone else” I asked
“You can but you don’t smile like that usually” Leah said
I said “It was Jordan”
She nodded as said “you text her already this morning”
“Yeah. I said good luck for her game” I said
“your missing her” She said
I said “’yeah. It’s so weird”
Leah asked “why is it”
“cos your the only person I have ever missed like this. Even when I was with my ex it wasn’t like this” I replied
“I know what you mean though. You and Jord are the only people I have ever missed like this” Leah said
Later on, at the training centre we had finished our session and some of the girls decided to go to the chill room for a bit. I was still waiting for my test results so I wanted to stick around for them.
Even though the girls were on better terms with me the atmosphere still felt a bit tense so while Leah spoke to Lia and Caitlin I decided to put my earphones in. I didn’t want it to be awkward.
I had my eyes closed as well. After a bit I felt a touch from someone it was Wally, I took my earphones out and she said “Jonas just brought your results in. Leah has them”
Then Leah said “do you want to open them”
I said “one of you can do it. I already know what it says”
“So do I” Leah said
Caitlin said “So your not going to open them. Maybe they are positive then if your not opening them in front of us”
I said “you open them” Leah passed Caitlin the envelope.
Caitlin said “I will” She opened them. She read through what the piece of paper said before saying
“They are negative”
Leah smiled and said “like we knew already”
“Well that’s 2 negatives. Still can’t play tomorrow but fingers crossed there will be another test before the Brighton game” I said
Wally said “I’m sorry everyone doubted you”
I said “It is what it is”
Caitlin said “We were wrong. What happens now”
“I’m sure the FA will be sending for me to do a test before one of our games. I’ve spoken to Sarina and she is happy to test while I’m at camp if I’m selected. But she may not need to if the FA test before then” I said
Wally said “sounds like she believes you”
“Yeah, she does but then so does Jonas. This is all being done because of protocol. This will follow me around for the rest of my career. Not that it matters to me I will always prove that I don’t take any sort of drugs” I said
We got home at 3pm Jordan’s game had finished they won 2-1. She started the game and played for 65 minutes. I’m happy that she is able to get some decent minutes.
Leah and I were sat on the sofa and she said “shall we take Jordan out for dinner”
I was quick to say “’yes, I think we should but maybe I can take you both out to say thank you for all the support you have both given me”
Leah said “it’s not needed though you would have done the same for us. It can be our first official date”
That made me smile “that sounds nice”
Later that night we were at a restaurant that Leah and Jordan use to come to all the time when they were together. I felt a bit apprehensive at first but then I thought they wouldn’t bring me to one of their favourite places if I didn’t mean anything to them.
We were sat at a table we were waiting for our food to come, a couple of people walked past the table. I felt like I wasn’t breathing then they said “sorry we are big fans any chance we could get a photo with you three”
Leah looked at me I let out a breath and nodded. Then she said “yeah of course” we took the picture with them. They looked around their early twenties. One of them said “I know it probably doesn’t mean much coming from us but we don’t believe the story about you” they were looking at me as they said it and I said “It actually does mean a lot that you believe that. I love the fans. We all do”
The other one said “thank you for the picture. Enjoy your dinner”
We actually had a really good time. We got home sat on the sofa and Leah said “I’m going to go and have a shower”
Jordan was sat next to me just staring at me so I said “what”
She said “nothing, just admiring how beautiful you are”
I could feel myself blush “stop it”
“No, I don’t want to” she said
I smiled and said “I missed you”
She smiled back and said “I missed you too” then she leaned forward and she kissed me. I kissed her back. I could feel my heart beating so hard.