Kristal Anderson
This was a bad idea. A horrible idea.
So many things could go wrong yet here I was, standing in front of my full-length mirror staring back at my reflection. The black A-line dress I'd worn for my high school senior year prom fit much tighter than I remembered, my breasts were holding on for dear life inside the heart-shaped cups.
The way it hugged them nearly made me reconsider my outfit choice but then I remembered that my options were limited. All of my other dressy dresses were unbearably tight on me, these past three months haven't been doing my weight any favors. What little confidence I had left inside me was slowly chipped away with every dress that I tried that no longer fit me like a glove.
Right as I was about to give up and wear my usual sweatpants and sweater, I landed upon my prom dress. The dress was gorgeous, I had to give my younger self that. The corset bustier was tight but definitely manageable, the dress ended right at my ankles making it not too extravagant for the occasion.
I paced around the length of my bedroom trying to play out every possible scenario in my head. Though an encounter with my father would be a pretty tragic end to the night, Aunt Jenna catching me in the act seemed far worst than anything my father could ever do to me. Picturing the look of complete and utter disappointment on her face was enough to send my body into a cold sweat.
She wasn't keeping me hostage so realistically I could pack my bags and leave whenever I wanted to, but that would be the biggest fuck you on my part. So I knew that if she caught me, there would be no coming back from it, it would change our relationship forever and it would show her that I was willing to put all of her effort to waste just because of a man that I barely knew.
With that thought in mind, I picked up my phone and began typing.
Me: Aiden this was a bad idea. We can't.
My finger hovered over the send button far longer than necessary, a twisted part of my brain still so eager to find out what it was like to do something crazy. What it was like to break rules and only worry about the consequences when you felt them. What it was like to be rebellious.
That, dark, twisted part of me had convinced me that I needed this. That I need to feel free and alive again, even if it was just for a few hours. That I'd go insane trapped between these four walls.
My thumb moved like it had a mind of its own, deleting one letter at a time as the screams from the logical part of my brain became more and more quiet, muffled by the excitement that began cursing through my veins.
I needed this.
And if it all went south, at least I was doing something that made me. . .feel again. This excitement, the nervousness, the butterflies, all of it would make it all worth it.
I glanced at the time and realized that it was nearly time to go so I changed back to my regular clothes; grey sweatpants and a matching grey hoodie. I packed my backpack with my dress, my matching black 3' pumps, and some makeup and other feminine essentials.
I slid the bag under my bed just in case and made my way to my door opening it and making my way down the hall to Aunt Jenna's room. To my dismay, the fluorescent light of her room was still leaking from the small gap between the door and the floor which told me she was still awake.
For a split second, I considered that as a sign from the universe that this was a bad idea, but I pushed that thought aside and marched over to her room knowing gently. I took a few deep breaths, calming my nerves, forcing myself to act normal.
"Come in dear," She replied in a matter of minutes in her usual sing-songy tone.
I twisted the handle pushing the door open and walked in, an innocent smile on my lips. I instantly wanted to slap myself across the face because, in my head, that was probably the most suspicious thing I could have done. She was on her bed in her purple silk nightgown, her blanket over her lap, one of her many reality shows up on the TV.
"I thought you'd be asleep by now," I walked deeper into the bedroom, taking a seat on the light grey bed stool. 9 was usually the latest Aunt Jenna would be willing to stay up, and it was nearly thirty minutes past her usual bedtime.
She let out a quiet chuckle, "I was about to but then I made the executive decision to start a new show and now I'm hooked,"
I pulled my gaze away from her and looked over at the TV, "What's this one about?"
"A bunch of conventionally attractive people are put on an island and all they have to do is not have sex to win," She snickered at her explanation, "God, it's so dumb but so entertaining,"
I stayed with her.
I couldn't bring myself to end the conversation, not when she was so excited to tell me about every contestant's backstory and who they were with. So I stayed. And I listened. And I practically drowned in the complete and utter guilt I felt for what I was about to do. I was there with her physically, but mentally I was trying to figure out how things would work out now that she was wide awake, something I hadn't anticipated.
We were halfway through the fourth episode when my phone dinged pulling both of our attention from the TV. I reached into the pocket of my hoodie pulling out my phone, my eyes scanning the text on my screen.
Aiden: Hey I'm outside.
Those three words were enough to make my heart nearly lip out of my chest from how fast it was beating.
"Who's texting you so late?" She leaned forward slightly trying to take a look at my phone screen, I was quick to slide it back into my pocket.
"It's T, she um wants to talk," Lying was never my forte but I prayed that at least this time it was even slightly believable.
"Couldn't it wait till tomorrow?"
"Apparently, it's important," I said with a chuckle getting up, "I better go see what she wants," I made my way to her side of the bed pulling her into an embrace, "then I'm probably gonna get some sleep," I lean in resting my head atop hers, the sweet scent of her shampoo filled my nostrils and it hit me right then and there that this could very well be the last time I see her, feel her, smell her. I pulled her tighter against me not caring if that made me look suspicious.
"Shall I pause the show so we can continue together?" She asked resting her warm hands on my arm that was wrapped around her.
My head which was still atop hers moved lightly as I shook my head. I felt a lump form in my throat at the thought of not seeing her again if this little escapade of mine resulted in my father capturing me. "I'll catch up," I managed to get out, "I love you okay?" I mumbled burying my face in her hair, trying to memorize her scent.
"And I love you dear," She said with a bright smile, "sweet dreams," She added as I pulled away from the embrace.
After taking a few moments to compose myself in the hallway, things moved fast when I entered my bedroom. I locked my door behind me, slid my sunglasses onto my face, slid on my sneakers, and wrapped my silk scarf around my head tying it under my chin.
I was unlocking and opening my window just seconds later, my bag in hand. And there he was, right under my window staring up at it, a bright smile lifted his face. The light from the light post illuminated his face, this was the closest I'd ever seen him but we were on a time crunch giving me no time to fully take in his features.
His ladder was leaned up right against my window just like we had previously planned.
Last chance Kris. A little voice of reason spoke up, this was my last chance to turn back around and go to bed and forget about this stupid idea.
I held up my backpack and was thankful when he nodded holding his hands understanding that I wanted him to catch it. We had to be as quiet as possible as I tossed my bag out to him, I nearly patted myself on the back for my impressive throwing skills as the bag landed right into his hands.
I had to repeatedly shush the little voice inside my head asking me what the hell I was doing because frankly, I had no fucking clue. I took a final deep breath and sat on my window ledge and brought my first leg out and onto the ladder.
This was probably a horrible time to mention that I had a crippling fear of heights and I'd never been on a ladder before. But hey, there's a first time for everything am I right?
Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down. I had to remind myself over and over again as I finally managed to position myself and take my first step down, but the image that my brain managed to create my vivid enough to make my legs feel like jelly which only sent me into a deep state of panic.
I couldn't tell you exactly how long I stay on that first step holding onto the ladder for dear life, trying to recompose myself. I then remembered that there was a man just a few feet below, watching me. The thought of how stupid I must have looked to him was enough to get my brain working, my muscles moving.
My right leg moved down in blind search of the next step.
But I rushed it, and my sneaker missed the step by a millimeter causing me to slip.
And with that slip came a blood-curdling scream that seemed to echo for miles ahead.
Shit.
Ah, another chapter done! Thoughts???
Thank you so much for reading I appreciate every single one of you, I truly do <3
You can connect with me on Instagram for little sneak peeks or just to chat! IG: jasw.rites