Dolores: So Oxygen went on a date with Potassium today...it went ok.
Mirabel: I thought Oxygen was dating Magnesium...omg
Isabela: Actually Oxygen first asked Nitrogen out but Nitrogen was all like "NO"
Pepa: I thought Oxygen had a double bond with the Hydrogen twins
Camilo: Looks like someone's a HO
Luisa: NaBro
Abuele: I'm done with all of you
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
[During a game of scrabel]
Camilo: I will put down a to make a
Antonio: I will add onto your a to make ant
Isabela: I will add onto your ant to make anti
Dolores: I will add onto that to make antidisestablishmentarianism.
Luisa:
Mirabel:
Isabela: GO TO JAIL
Luisa: Isa, this is scrabel
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mirabel, waking up after getting healed from an injury: Where am I?
Isabela, who was sitting nearby: Heaven
Mirabel: Oh...didn't think you'd be here
-----------------------------------------------------------
Camilo: You know what I've always wondered? How do tall people like you actually sleep at night when the blanket can't possible cover you from your shoulders to your toes?
Luisa: Dude. It's. FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING!!!
Camilo: So...you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?
_________________________________________
Camilo: Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars?
Mirabel: You shoot me, then when Mama heals my leg, we buy a 2nd house and a few range rovers
Camilo: You can shoot me too, then we'll have 20,000 dollars
Mirabel: Good thinking, fuck the system.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Camilo: My death will probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
Camilo, applying for a job: But first I have to polish up my resume. How do you spell "gorgeous"?
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
Antonio: Camilo, what does thot mean?
Camilo, grinning: It's a thoughtful person
(Later at dinner with the family)
Mirabel: Here's an arepa Antonio.
Antonio: Thanks Mirabel. You're such a thot.
Mirabel: *Chokes on an arepa*
××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××
Mirabel: I just realized that "never" is a contraction of "not ever"
Isabela: and "blush" is a contraction of "blood rush"
Camilo: also "studying" is a contraction of "student dying"
**************************************
Abuela: What do teens like? Is it memes? Memes about skeletons? Piss? Communism?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Isabela: Murder is okay
Dolores: Murder is okay if I sympathize with the reason
Camilo: Murder is okay if everyone is having fun
Mirabel: Murder is okay if you kill bad people
Antonio: Murder is okay if you say sorry
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Camilo: Books aren't cereal boxes. You're not supposed to get a prize inside.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Luisa: I can't
Dolores: I cannot
Isabela: I do not currently possess the ability to can
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Mirabel: At the end of the day we're all human beans
Camilo: And together we will rice
Dolores: Lettuce pray
Luisa: Ramen
=================================
Juleita, bringing out a large cake: Check it out, we made your favorite. A red velvet cake with a little surprise.
Isabela: Ooh. I hope they do not have a male dancer popping out of it.
Camilo: They asked but they couldn't afford me.
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
Camilo: You know that wonderful animation full of flower symbolism in which a teenage girl cuts her hair short, becomes a cross dresser, and poses as a dude while joining a bunch of guys in an Asian country who's leader is an attractive love intrest who doesn't realize she's a girl at first until she's seen partially nude?
Mirabel: Are you talking about OHSHC or Mulan?
Dolores: Kiss kiss kill the huns
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Abuela: What is Sephora?
Camilo: Isn't that the guy with the long hair from final fantasy?
Mirabel: No, you're thinking of Sephiroth. A sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels.
Luisa: No, you're thinking of a Seraph. A sephora is a 2nd year high school or college student.
Isabela: No, you're thinking of a sophomore. A sephora is when you take a picture of yourself.
Juleita: No, you're thinking of a selfie. A sephora is a calm breeze.
Dolores: No, you're thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those greek vases with the two handles and the pictures.
Pepa: You're thinking of amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on an ios phone.
Augustin: You're thinking of Safari. A sephora is an informal term for the seven week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calender.
Bruno: You're thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the crystal gems, training Pokémon, and/or assisting Steel to fight against time's intrusion into our realm.
Isabela: No, you're thinking of sapphire. Sephora is actually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom.
Felix: No, you're thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who leads the Isrealites people out of Egypt.
Mirabel: No, you're thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-loving.
Dolores: No, you're thinking of Sappho. Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers.
Luisa: No, you're thinking of Zeppo. Sephora is the Heimdall's sister.
Camilo: No, no, no guys, you're thinking of Sif. Sephora is a venereal disease that turns your brain into Swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from Sephora.
Pepa: No, you're thinking of Syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness.
Mariano, who just came into the room not knowing what is going on: No, that's euphoria. Sephora is a makeup store.
++++++++++++×++×+×××××++×+×++×+××+
Isabela: That crunch you hear in every bite of your M&Ms colorful botton shaped chocolates is the sound of you crushing their worthless spines.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&