remember when i tried to cuddle up to you
and you told me i was too heavy?
i do.
remember when you yelled at me
for wanting to buy clothes that i needed?
i do.
remember when you told me no man would want me
because i'm too fat?
i do.
remember when you complained about how hard it would be
to find a husband for me?
i do.
remember when you kept on yelling at me
even after i cried?
i do.
remember when you uploaded a video of me (even though i told you not to even record)
and shared it with everyone even though i told you not to?
i do.
remember when you hurt me then cried
and i had to comfort you (more than once)?
i do.
the thing about you is that
you apologized
not because you understand what you're doing is wrong
but because you want this conflict to stop
you will never feel guilty
because you think you're in the right
you think everything you're doing
is right
and right now
i am a bubble of repressed rage
a childish sulky motherfucker
that's cried three times this year
and it's all
your
fault
i will never accept your touch
your hug
your love
i will respect you
i will listen to you
but i will
never
ever
trust you
and my love for you is conditional
forced
situational
i will forever flinch at your touch
because i know exactly who you are