I’ve been back at mine and Beth’s apartment for a couple of days. Leah has gone on holiday to California with her friends. It actually feels weird not seeing her but it is good for her to get away and relax and reset. She is still in a boot but she isn’t on crutches anymore.
Beth is out with Jordan so I’m at the apartment with Viv. We are playing Fifa and chatting.
I said “I’m glad you moved in; Beth’s got a lot going on with her Mum. She deserves to have some happiness”
Viv said “I’m just thankful that I make her happy. She means everything to me”
“I can see how much you both love each other” I said
“You’re important to her as well” Viv said
I replied “She is to me. She has been one of my best friends for years but this year especially, I’m glad she has been around. I don’t know what I would have done without her, Leah, Lucy and Kiera after my sister died”
“Beth’s pretty special” Viv said
“Yeah, she is” I said
Viv said “How are your parents doing”
I didn’t say anything I just looked at her. She then said “sorry I didn’t mean to impose”
I said “It’s not that. I haven’t actually told anyone but I fell out with them. They said some things that I thought were unfair. I haven’t spoken to them since the day of my sister’s funeral”
Viv said “I’m sorry. It must be hard”
“It is I feel like I lost my whole family the day that Mya died” I said
Viv said “maybe you can talk to them and make up”
“I don’t know if I want to. They hurt me. They made me feel like I didn’t matter to them. They haven’t even attempted to call me since” I said
“You haven’t told anyone else” I shook my head and she continued “How come”
“It’s hard to tell Leah and Beth. Leah is big on family and with what Beth is going through with her mum as well” I said
“Are you going to tell anyone else” Viv asked
I replied “I know I will have to tell Leah because of how important family is to her but I don’t know when I will though”
Viv said “You will find the right time”
Not long after Beth and Jordan came in. Beth said very loudly “Are you two coming to the pub” Both me and Viv looked at her confused. She then said “All the arsenal girls are going for Karaoke night it’s on the group chat”
I said “I haven’t even looked at my phone”
“Me neither” Viv said “But I’ll come”
“Yeah, I suppose. I’ve got nothing else to do have I” I said
Later on, at the pub. Most of the girls had had a few drinks already. Katie and Beth were on the karaoke singing Mamma Mia. Jordan hadn’t really drunk much. I went and sat next to her.
I said “Hey Jords”
She looked at me and said “Hey”
“Are you ok” I asked
“Yeah, I’m ok” Jordan said
I said “Are you sure because your still on your first drink”
“Yeah, I just didn’t want to drink. You remember what happened last time” Jordan said
“It was a mistake wasn’t it. We are over it” I said
“It was. Truthfully though I wanted to kiss Leah that night but if I was sober I wouldn’t have tried to. You’re my friend and I didn’t want to hurt you” Jordan said
“I know Jordan. You still love her” I said
“I do. I think I always will but I know that it’s you that makes her happy. That’s what I want for her. I will move on it’s just hard” she said
I replied “I know it is. Leah is the only person I have ever loved. I’ve known her a long time. I never thought that I would get a chance to be with her. I intend to keep on making her happy for as long as I can”
“She’s always loved you as well. I knew that going into my relationship with her. I knew in the end we wouldn’t last. The thing about soulmates is they never go away. You are hers and you always have been” Jordan said
Beth came over shouting “Why are you two looking so serious. Please don’t tell me you have fallen out again”
“We haven’t fallen out” Jordan said
Then I said “actually we were just starting to get each other more” Me and Jordan smiled at each other
Jordan still didn’t really drink the rest of the night and neither did I but we did join in with the fun. We actually got up to sing a duet together. We sang Lean on me. I think this was the night where I realised that I could trust Jordan and that she cared about our friendship as much as I did.