I laid him on my small couch, and then brought out my first-aid kit. He groaned once again as I laid him down. "Can't you put me down on something a little nicer?"
I look down at him concernedly for the third time.
"Can you stop looking at me like that? It's kind of condescending."
I respond with the same look. "Oh, c'mon, lighten up, I'll show you some pictures of my daughter. She's just the cutest. Whoops, wait, scratch that, my phones dead. Anyways- GAH! Ouch, can you please be a little more gent- OUCH! Okay, okay." I finish fixing him up.
"You should probably get some sleep. I know you don't have a home, so you can-"
"I DO NOT look that much like a hobo for me to always give the impression of a homeless guy to everyone I meet."
I push up my glasses, that were slowly escaping the bridge of my nose, and reply with "...I'm sorry, you really do" to which we both laugh at.
I laughed harder than him, which made him slightly more offended, which made me laugh even harder. "Well, be safe getting home, Spiderman." I say mockingly. He seems a bit surprised, but then changes course from leaving from my door to jumping out my window.
My jaw drops and I freeze.
What the hell?
Any adrenaline in my system leaves, which made me realize I had just helped a not-homeless knock-off spiderman who somehow had a huge cut on him, let him into my apartment, and then watched him jump out my window with too much confidence.
What the actual hell?
I then brushed off what happened, changed into my pajamas, and concluded that I was hallucinating or something like that. My medical expertise told me otherwise, but there was really no other explanation then. I made sure my life was too dull to have anything like that happen.
It was less than a week later, on a Saturday, while I was going to get coffee (because I barely ever even leave my house besides to go to work, so I decided to push myself). It was late in the afternoon, just tickling night time, and I was at a mildly-fancy café. After I finished my coffee, which to my surprise and delight was only $6, I decided to take a stroll around my local park. Until I saw the not-homeless guy I hallucinated about.