Slowly opening my eyes, I found myself in my soft bed. I was greeted by a ray of dawn that seeped into my room from the curtains and once my vision cleared, I took in the familiar surroundings of my room inside the student dormitories with the morning light, casting it's glow across the entire space.
I stretched my arms over my head as I thought back to yesterday. It was especially tough for me since I wasn't able to attend school due to my illness. I spent two entire school days inside my dorm room, feeling both weak and helpless. Then there was also the weird dream I had last night. Although I don't remember that dream clearly as my memory is still a little fuzzy, I remember Ayanokouji-kun, and how he was right next to me in bed. Just rethinking that is enough to make my face turn red.
Sitting up from my bed, I swung my feet over the side and firmly placed both of them on the cold wooden floor. Glancing at my clock, I realized that I had roughly around an hour or so before school started so not to waste any time, I made my way towards my bathroom to get ready and once I got there..
I gently open the door.
Doing so was a mistake, I saw a scene that I knew I shouldn't have, but the second I saw it, it was ingrained in my head and my face heated up even more than before. A rush of embarrassment washed over me and I found it difficult to process the unexpected sight before me. My cheeks instantly flushed with a deep shade of crimson as my eyes widened in surprise.
The room surrounded with silence and the only thing I could hear was the sound of my own heartbeat.
Standing in front of the mirror was Ayanokouji-kun, he was.. well.. um.. he was naked! Wearing nothing, he stared at me with a towel around his nape, and knowing I shouldn't, I can't help but look at everything. His well-defined physique caught my attention and he was quite muscular too without having too much muscle. I witnessed it all. Not noticing, my gaze travelled downward and I felt my body temperature skyrocketing when I saw that..
"Ichinose, can you shut the door?" he deadpanned.
"Y-y-y-yes! I'm so sorry!" I shouted as loud as I can.
Struggling to get my words out, I shut the door as hard as I can and ran back to my bed, burying my face in my pillow. It wasn't until a few minutes had passed and Ayanokouji-kun came out the door, wearing the appropriate school attire. It was at this point that hundreds of thoughts came rushing in my mind. Like, what was Ayanokouji-kun doing in my room first and foremost, but apparently, thinking about these things didn't help the matter unfortunately as I found it hard to make eye contact with him.
"U-um, so, what are you d-doing here, A-Ayanokouji-kun?"
"You don't remember anything from yesterday?"
"N-no, my memory is still in a haze."
Being sick, I was delirious and probably acted out of character, so I couldn't remember anything that happened that day. It was, to say the least, unlucky for me.
"Then, to sum it up, I had to take care of you while you were sick," he said.
"I.. I see.. I'm sorry if I caused any trouble," I mumbled.
Then.. Then if what Ayanokouji-kun says is true.. then the dream the other day wasn't a dream..? The more I thought about it the more my face started to heat up again so I shaked my head left and right profusely and all Ayanokouji-kun did was stare at me confusingly.
"Uh, did I happen to do anything or say anything weird?"
"Do you want me to answer truthfully?"
"N-no, I mean, yes. Y-yes please."
"Then you wanted me to sleep next to you, hence why I was here."
"I-I, um, okay, I'm sorry for that then. Is there anything else?"
I knew if I got my answers, the only thing I can do it apologize no matter what. I just don't get it, how do I keep finding myself in these embarrassing situations?
"Is there.. Is there anything else?"
Ayanokouji-kun grabbing his phone, showed me his recent call history, "Yeah, since you, in a delusional state I suppose, wanted me to stay, I went to go get an extra set of clothes for myself back in my dorm. But even then, you wouldn't stop calling me every five minutes asking me when I'd return."
"Oh, okay, I'm sorry for that too," I apologized again, "Is that all?"
Although Ayanokouji-kun's responses were straight to point and always immediately after I asked, he seemed a bit hesitant this time around, almost as if he was contemplating whether or not he should say anything.
"No, that's all," he answered matter-of-factly.
"Okay, then, I want to apologize one more time. I'm sorry about everything."
"Nah, it's fine. Anyways, I'll be leaving now."
With that, Ayanokouji-kun went out the door and left with his bag in hand. If I take into consideration the amount of time we spent talking, we probably had around forty more minutes before school started, so ignoring this setback, I got ready for the day.
- XXIV.I -
Ichinose was now coming back to school. After recovering from her illness, people will be happy and the previous happy atmosphere she creates will return. However, once the school day started, Ichinose was not here. Was there a problem they ran into way here? No, there shouldn't be any but then again, anything can happen. The most common answer is that she is running late or is experiencing the aftermath of her sickness. At any rate, we will get our answer soon.
Once Chabashira-sensei came through the door, everyone got settled in. No one really questioned why Ichinose was gone, I'm sure they thought she was sick, which in fact, they were. But this time, it's different. She should've came back today and yet, Ichinose was still absent.
Anyways, I decided to hold off until the end of the day, if I needlessly act more than necessary, then more complications can come up as a result. Besides, should I spread the news about Ichinose's disappearance now, even though she recovered, then that alone can incite nervousness among my peers.
Skipping ahead, it was lunch time now. While everyone was walking out the door, I stayed behind instead. Purposely, throughout class, I've been paying extra special attention to Chabashira-sensei by looking her directly in the eyes, I wanted her attention for one specific reason. Normally, any other teacher would ignore it and think nothing of it but, Chabashira-sensei isn't exactly a normal teacher. Or that's not the impression I get from her anyways. In any event, she noticed me and stayed behind. Once everyone was gone, I stood up from my seat and approached her.
"Well? You have my attention, Ayanokouji. You should finish this quickly before next period starts."
"I understand, I won't take up too much of your time."
"Then in that case, what do you have to say?"
"Has Ichinose ever said anything about her absences? If so, when was the last time?"
"Yesterday and the day before, she called in sick. Today, she hasn't called."
I wasn't expecting a straight answer but nevertheless, I got what I wanted. It's as I thought, she was purposely absent. Her reason for not being here though is the real question. So nodding to Chabashira-sensei's response, I left the room.
At the cafeteria, there was one more thing I wanted to check on. Looking at the numerous students there, the person I was searching for stood out.
Walking up to them, I called out their name.
"Matsushita," I said.
"Hm? Oh, Ayanokouji-kun. Can I help you?"
"I have a question."
Depending on how Matsushita answers me, my next course of action will be the same. To put it simply, before I make any moves, I wanted to confirm if Ichinose had an explanation for not coming to school. If she did, then Matsushita is one of the people who would know, as they are one of her close friends. If she doesn't, on the other hand, then I have my basis to act upon.
"Ah, you want to know about Honami-san, yeah? Well.."
Although Matsushita understood what I came to her for, she didn't look as if she knew the answer herself. Going off this alone, then my suspicions were correct.
"Yeah, sorry, she hasn't answered any of my calls."
"I thought so."
"You visited her right, Ayanokouji-kun? How was she feeling?"
If I respond to Matsushita truthfully, then the anxiousness in our class I thought earlier could spark and start to grow, there's a strong possibility of it. Whether or not I can fully trust Matsushita to keep these things a secret is inconsequential since if I choose not to say anything, then there's a hundred percent chance of it being a secret. In the end, I lied to her.
"She's still sick, I thought she'd be better by now."
"Oh, I see," Matsushita responded.
"I'll see you later then."
"Yeah, later Ayanokouji-kun!"
Shortly after leaving Matsushita, I left the cafeteria. There's nothing left for me to investigate. Tomorrow I intend on visiting her and if she's not there, then there's nothing to be done. If I don't know where Ichinose is, then this entire scenario is a wasted effort and the plan I had in place will end up a failure.
Once school ended, I planned on going back to the dormitories but, I headed to Keyaki Mall instead this time for two things. One, I hoped Ichinose was there so this matter can get solved more quickly but then again, I'm not that hopeful to think something like that. The second reason is that there was a yogurt maker I wanted to get my hands on. I still had plenty of money and if I wanted to buy anything, then it would be this. If I ordered online, then I'd have to pay for packaging and shipping fees to the school. If I purchased it from Keyaki Mall, then the price is reduced significantly.
Anyways, as I got there, an interesting scene played out at the corner of the eye. It was the problem I wanted to solve earlier and as soon as the event was over, both parties fled the scene. But one of the people involved was someone I needed so I followed them until we were in an unpopulated spot of the mall. As for who this person was, it was Ichinose, the someone I searched for. With the revelation of the display I witnessed, I hurriedly abandoned my previous plans and acted on this new one. It was all or nothing now.
"Ichinose," I said.
"H-huh..? Ayanokouji-kun.. What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same question."
"I was just about to go, I'll see you.. tomorrow.."
Although Ichinose tried to leave I grabbed her wrist, stopping her in her place. While I had control of her wrist now, I pulled her closer to me. Bringing my hand to her cheek, I swayed her hair aside and revealed the very noticeable bruise that she suffered not too long ago. Without wasting time, I proceeded with my plans.
"Is this it? Is this your darkness?"
You see, if I rewind a little bit back, at Keyaki Mall, the particular aforementioned scene I came across was between two people. One of them appeared to be a young adult of sorts, they had a uniform on that implied they worked at the mall. Then there was a student, that student was none other than Ichinose herself. They were both hidden from prying eyes but they didn't account for my eavesdropping. The scene I witnessed was a surprising one, it seemed that Ichinose, of which, had a scared expression on her face while talking to the other person, it wasn't until the end of their conversation until this adult, this man, had brought his fist to her right cheek rather forcefully.
"A-Ayanokouji-kun, please l-let go," she asked meekly.
Of course, she was startled, anyone would be. The entire reason of my being here today is to uncover the truth about the type of person Ichinose Honami really is. If she wants to keep it a secret or not is irrelevant to me. Well, it wasn't as if I'd pointlessly start going around to spread rumors anyways.
"I'm afraid I wont be able to do that."
The truth of the matter is, Ichinose is the type of person who will look for the optimal solution for everybody. By doing so, she is sacrificing her own health for the sake of everyone's goals. This alone doesn't necessarily make them a good or bad person however, it does make them an optimist I suppose.
"Though while you can try to save everyone, the only person who you can't save is yourself. That's why I'm here now, to save you, Ichinose."
"I.. I.."
Ultimately, it is up to Ichinose to decide whether or not she will embrace the light I offer or continue to wallow in her own darkness. If she chooses not to talk to me, then this conversation will be over. By my estimate, not only will our Class-C suffer a major loss, we will inevitably be kicked down to Class-D again. If she stops being our leader right here and now, then the failsafe, Horikita Suzune, will take her place. If the class will be able to bounce back from that though is yet to be seen.
"Yeah.. Okay.. I'll tell you, Ayanokouji-kun.
The solid wall that separated Ichinose from my words started to come down and slowly by little, she started to reveal her past to me. Up to this point, the only thing that will be discussed here is Ichinose and her life before she started school here. No class conflicts, no school problems, no nothing. Just me, her, and the future she will see.
With tears forming in her eyes, Ichinose started to speak, "I.. I was engaged in compensated dating.."
Finally, a small part of her history is unveiled. The act of compensated dating is a controversial practice and not one that's common in just Japan alone, it's also practiced in most of East Asia. By gifting expensive items in the form of gifts or simply paying money, compensation in return is the receiver partaking in romantic or most cases, sexual activities. It is frowned upon for good reason and for Ichinose to have done something like that was especially shocking. But now, the coup de grâce, why was she been involved in this practice exactly?
"It was.. for my sister.." she began, "She wanted this hairclip and it was expensive.."
Every word she spoke, Ichinose's voice trembled as she continued. She was not one to show her vulnerable side to anyone and with how she is acting, I am the first person to witness this side of her.
"She never asked for anything, not until this.. When mother heard it, she started working even harder than before to buy it for her and eventually, she collapsed and was in the hospital."
Ichinose paused momentarily, the stream of tears ran down her face as she struggled to continue her story. I didn't offer any words of encouragement nor did anything to help mediate the situation as there was no need to, the fact that I'm listening intently is more than enough for Ichinose.
"So I started to dating people for money, making enough on the first day to buy it for my sister," Ichinose confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. "I convinced myself that it was the only way, the only option I had."
As she spoke, the amount of guilt and regret Ichinose carried was apparent. She blamed herself for her mother's collapse and hospitalization. In short, Ichinose thought to herself she should've done more for her family. The burden she carried was immense, this explains why she is so determined to succeed academically.
"B-but, I didn't stop there, with mother in the hospital, I needed some way to make more income.."
"So you kept going?" I said.
"Y-yeah.. For about a week even until my mother found out.."
Ichinose's voice quivered even more as she recounted the events. Of course I wouldn't let her stop talking though, the more I understand her entire past, the better.
"She was devastated. She couldn't believe what I had been doing. She blamed herself for not being able to provide for us and thought she had failed as a mother. It was the lowest point for both of us. My mother couldn't believe the lengths I went through just to earn enough to make a living for me and my sister."
Now that the situation of her family is settled, the next thing for me to do is strike the heart of the matter. By bringing up her history of compensated dating again, I'll get a further understanding of her personality by seeing her reactions to my questioning.
"Tell me, the guy who hit you, were they a previous client?"
Hearing my question, Ichinose simply nodded without responding to me.
"Were you ever forced to do anything.. sexual?"
Asking a controversial topic like that wasn't something I originally planned but regardless, I found it in myself to ask anyways.
"N-No.. it's just.. this was one of the reasons I came to this school, you know? To get away from it all.."
Although Ichinose resorted to compensated dating, she didn't let go of her pride and engaged in sexual affairs. This was something I understood of her quite well. Furthermore, she thought she would be safe if she left her hometown for a school farther away from civilization like this one, it was only by pure chance that she stumbled across a former client of hers, an employee of Keyaki Mall. Looking at her again, Ichinose will have fully broken down if I continue my question so instead, I opted to end this here.
"Ichinose," I said gently as I placed my hand on her shoulders, "You've been through so much, and I can see how much you've sacrificed for your family. It's not easy to shoulder that kind of responsibility, especially at such a young age."
"Yeah..."
"For you to shoulder something like this alone is unnecessary when you have people you can depend on. You shouldn't be defined by your past, everyone should be given an opportunity to move forward."
Ichinose is someone who needs to be handled in a different way. I have to choose my words carefully as simple kind hearted support wont cut it, if I say meaningless phrases such as 'You can pull forward,' that will only end up going backwards. Ichinose is a smart girl, if I say something as mundane as that she will be under the misconception that I don't care about what she's saying whatsoever. I'm no therapist but in my experience in the White Room, psychology was a subject I was taught and using this knowledge to my advantage, I can plant the idea of warmth and comfort inside Ichinose's head.
So placing my palm on her cheeks, I wiped away her tears. Ichinose's expression transitioned from despair and sadness to a glimmer of hope. It was clear to me that the words I gave had reached her heart.
"Thank you, Ayanokouji-kun," she whispered, her voice filled with emotion. "I... I never thought I could trust someone so much."
This is the end of Ichinose's growth for the time being. Although there is still several things about her that needs to change soon, I'm sure later in the year, Ichinose will become the type of leader that will bring her class to rise above the others. In the years to come, if she starts to sink again, then I'll simply continue to bring her back up. The point of the matter is, she couldn't have made it this far without me and that, that is what needs to change.
-
so uh, i decided not to go with the suicide thing with ichinose's past. it was basically the same backstory but with um, rape elements.. i cant bring myself to write something like that even if kiyotaka comforts her
relationship arc ends next chapter and you'll finally get what u want