It took a while for us to make any real space between us and the remnants of the horde. The stragglers followed us and, as the Judge's people urged us on, I began to realize we were walking in circles. Their group was determined to not lead any zombies back to what I assumed would be the courthouse.
I was simply grateful that the sun was out. It was slowly beginning to fade as we walked, but between the sunshine and slightly warmer temperatures, the cold was harsh but not unbearable. Even still, I shivered without a coat, hugging myself and occasionally wiping snot from my upper lip as our walk continued on.
Frequently, I found myself watching the other six captives. They kept their distance from me. I wasn't sure if it was because of their own weariness towards me or if it was because they were that afraid of our guards. I couldn't really blame them either way.
Fear wasn't something we could pick or choose. They were clearly afraid and so was I, but the more time I was left with my own thoughts, the more I realized what my problem really was.
I had let fear rule me.
I'd once thought that I'd been facing my fears because I'd been willing to fight. I'd been willing to do whatever it took to save my group and I'd thought that was courage. The truth was that it was just another way to hide from what scared me most – loss.
Rather than facing loss, I acted and reacted, lashing out so I wouldn't be the one to lose first. I caused hurt and pain rather than letting myself confront my own losses. My deeds may have done some good, but they also resulted in far more pain for myself and others in the end.
I needed to do better now. With the six remaining captives, I couldn't let my fear of losing them rule my thoughts. I had to be stronger.
After all, it wasn't zombies that had first ruined my world. It was fear. It was the panic that so many people have given into. It wasn't zombies who were marching me to what was very likely to be a horrific death, rather it was people who I was starting to see as much more like me than I would have preferred.
At some point, they likely caved to their own fears too. In their own selfish desire to survive they had begun to take things too far. We all had and it had made the little bit of society that was left collapse that much faster.
Gertie was right. There had to be a line – one that should never be crossed. I had drawn mine with little thought of those that I considered to be "others." It had let me steal and kill without real remorse and that simply wasn't good enough. I had to do better.
I wasn't naïve. I'd never fully cross over into Prisha's way of thinking, but there had to be some middle ground. There had to be a way to survive without discarding our humanity. Looking at the six captives, seeing them cling and huddle together, I promised myself I'd find it.
The woman from the salon was sticking close to an older man with an unevenly shaved face. He comforted her like a father but looked nothing like the woman. His hair was every bit as dark as hers was fair. She eventually caught me staring and raised a brow.
I decided enough was enough and moved closer to the group. To my side, I knew Anton was carefully watching me, but I didn't care. In fact, I wanted him to hear me.
He needed to find his own bottom line too.
"Hi," I said through a strained smile before steadying my nerves. "Are you all okay? I'm sorry this happened to you."
The woman looked between me and the man beside her, hesitating slightly before answering. "Why did you do that?"
Set their group free?
Get people killed?
I wasn't entirely sure what part of the situation she was referring to, but from the way she'd said it, I wasn't sure if she knew either.
"It's my fault you guys were taken. They were after me and my group but they came across your group and got it all wrong. I'm really, really sorry."
The woman digested my words slowly and I watched as she looked behind her at the others in her group, clearly wanting to get a read on their opinions. None of them seemed to be willing to reveal a lot, so I continued.
"I saw you running," I stated, drawing the woman's attention back to me. "You crossed past the building I was hiding in and I knew I couldn't just let them take all of you. None of you deserve to be here, I-"
"What did you do?" A thirty-something-looking man asked from behind the woman. He had shaggy locks of brown hair hanging in his face and his arm in a sling with a good deal of extra fabric, both of which seemed to dance in the small breeze that blew past. "Why were they after you?"
"We... we had a confrontation that went badly. I made a bad call." I swallowed hard, not wanting to admit more under our given circumstances, but I did want to own that I had made a mistake. "They tried to retaliate and killed two of my group members and had set me free to try and trick me into leading them back to the rest of my group. As you can see, it didn't work."
I hoped Anton heard every word I spoke and actually felt them. He couldn't let the six be led to slaughter. He had it in him to make a better call. I was sure of it.
"They really should just let you all go," I almost yelled, wanting all of the guards to hear me clearly. "Everything that has happened is on me. It's my fault. It began with me and it can end with me. Is that not good enough?"
"Shut up," a voice snapped from behind us. I turned trying to see who'd spoken, but I couldn't tell which guard it had been.
I looked over at Anton next to see him looking off into the distance. From his deadpan expression, I would have almost believed that he hadn't heard a word I'd said except for the stiffness in his shoulders. His posture spoke volumes even if he stayed silent. He was becoming more and more uncomfortable.
Good.
"They won't let us go, will they?" the woman asked, though she knew the answer. She smiled almost bitterly. "At least the others got out."
I nodded. "At least the others got out," I repeated, thinking of my own group. Not wanting the guards to hear the next part, I leaned in closer to her, ignoring the horrible, growing pain in my side. "And I won't give up – not till the very end and still not then. I'll keep trying to get you all out."
The woman looked taken aback by my declaration but she seemed to be a bit more at ease afterwards. "You think they'll kill us?"
"Yes." She had the right to know. They all did. They needed to know how dire the situation really was. I watched the woman nod at the man at her side and give his elbow a squeeze. His expression stayed reserved, but he held his head high and his eyes held determination.
"Then," the woman shrugged. "I guess, thank you for being here with us." Her mixed feelings stung, but I couldn't blame her. It was still my fault they'd been caught up in my mess to begin with.
"I'm Kate," I told her, not sure of what else to say.
The man angled his face away, not wanting to share, but the woman as least tried to give me a half-smile. "Marcy," she answered.
Knowing her name, her voice, seeing her relationships with the rest of the six – it all turned the woman I'd seen running outside of the salon into someone much more real. She wasn't a figure I wanted to save, but a person I wanted to know. And it wasn't because there was anything extraordinary about her. It was because I was finally seeing clearly again.
She was a person with a life and a story too. And that was worth preserving.
---
The light was fading in the sky when I spotted the courthouse. My heart sunk in my chest at the sight. I knew as soon as we crossed through those doors, our chances of survival went down immeasurably.
"Does anyone else smell that?" One of the guards asked.
I tried to sniff the air through my stuffed nose, but I could only smell smoke. Wiping at my nose, I looked at Marcy but she could only shrug beside me. She'd let me stick closer to her during our walk, letting me feel hints of body heat to keep myself warm.
The majority of the six had stayed silent through the trek, but their actions spoke volumes. They cared deeply about each other, doing whatever was needed to ease each other's discomforts or pains, and had even found it in themselves to extend that kindness towards me.
"It always smelled like that," Anton stated plainly.
"No," a guard who I'd barely even seen spoke up. The petite woman carried a knife as long as her forearm and had the deepest set scowl I'd ever seen. "It never smells that strong. Do you see smoke?"
My heart began to pound in my chest and my head began to swivel around with all of the others as the group drifted to a stop.
"Behind us!" the man with the wheat-colored beard called out.
Sure enough, curls of black smoke billowed up into the blue sky, smearing an otherwise flawlessly clear horizon. It was far too much smoke for a simple chimney fire. At the size of it, a building had to be burning down.
"We just crossed that road," the woman said in a strained voice. "I didn't see a fire then, did you?"
No. No, I did not.
Something was off. The Judge's people were all on edge, searching the sky as if it held the answers when another person yelped. "Do you see that? Over there!"
I followed the pointing finger to see smoke starting up from what had to be a parallel road from the first fire. It was small at first, with only a few whisps of smoke here and there, but within minutes the size grew to even larger than the first. From where we stood, I could make out what looked like tiny sparks of flame licking the air over the buildings that blocked our view of the full raging fire.
"What the hell..." I wasn't sure who said it, but they spoke what we were all feeling.
"We should go," the woman spoke again, fidgeting as she did. She was spooked.
Then, there was a tinkling sound before a crack, as though a bottle had been shattered. I counted the sound three more times before I spotted it.
Another fire.
This one was only two blocks down the road we'd come from. A person darted out of sight as the flames began to slowly grow, making their way up the sides of the house.
Anton stepped closer to me but kept his eyes on the unfolding events. His rigid stature flinched when there was another sound of glass breaking.
"You can let us go," I whispered. "Go investigate before it gets worse."
His eyes flicked to me but didn't stay. "I can't."
"Why?" I hissed. "Doesn't that seem more important?"
"Yes."
"Then why?"
Anton almost sucked in his cheeks but stopped himself. "It might not be safe for any of you if we let you go."
"If we are going to die either way, I'd rather it be with at least a chance of freedom. Can you at least give us that? Even if it's just for them? I can stay. Just let the others go."
The fire grew as we spoke and we were all on edge watching the flames spread, wondering what was next. I could see Anton caving. He was going to crack if I pushed him any further and I was happy to do just that.
"You have a choice here. Right here and now, just let us walk. That's it. If you change your mind, you can always chase us down again later."
Anton's eyes squinted a little in what could have been amusement, but he sobered up just as quickly. He said nothing, but his body shifted slightly, giving us his back.
My eyes widened at the gesture. He was telling us to go. He was going to try to refocus his group on the fires. I was about to whisper my thanks when a loud boom had us all turning away from the fire and looking to our left.
Gunshot. It was a gunshot.
I moved a bit to see past Anton and gasped. Carlos stood between two office buildings and had his rifle trained on us. My shock at the sight of him nearly sent me to my knees when another gunshot rang out from behind us. I whipped around.
Neveah.
Her lips were pursed, but she looked almost eerily calm as she had a pistol trained right on the man with the wheat-colored beard. Both she and Carlos moved in on us from opposite sides.
I could feel tears building up in my eyes at the sight of them. It was so unbelievably good to see them alive and well and the relief I felt was nearly all-consuming.
What the hell are they doing here?
My heart squeezed in my chest when it dawned on me.
Ian hadn't listened.
He hadn't led them to safety. He'd brought them here to help.
Did they set the fires?
As if answering my question for me, I spotted Ray running from down the street where the fire was now engulfing most of the house. He looked a little silly as he ran with his crowbar, but I beamed at the sight of him.
Between the fires and the gunshots, every zombie for miles would begin to drift their way here. My group had to have known that, but they'd been willing to risk it.
I had to choke back my emotions. It was now the Judge's group's turn to make some choices. With pride in my heart, I pushed past Anton to see my friends. When no one stopped me, I turned to face the Judge's group once again.
I smiled. "I guess it's now time for you all to meet my real group."