Mitsuya POV*
I don't know if I can take this anymore.
Since last night my hearts been aching, as if it's about to break into thousands of pieces. That even I won't be able to put back together. Just when I was finally getting over what happened. Over her. This shit happens.
Last night, after that unknown duo left Mikey had ordered for all members- including captains- to leave. Excluding us founding members. Reasonably the five of us where shaken, we haven't heard a single word from her. And no matter how hard we searched we couldn't find her. We even went as far as going to the orphanage but all we were given was two envelopes and even more questions.
Hana was the very first girl that I loved, and she'll always hold a special place in my heart for being my first. I had always thought my feelings for her were nothing more than a silly childish crush, I never thought of her ever holding the same feelings for me. The thought of it seemed almost laughable, but it was the truth. The truth that I had learnt too late.
When the gangs and went to the orphanage, Mikey and I were both give a letter form her. I had opened the envelope when I got home, and sometimes I wish I hadn't. Cause if I didn't I wouldn't have suffered as much as I had.
What I had told that gang wasn't a lie, it was the truth actually. There was just one thing that I kept a secret from them, that she had confessed her feeling for me. I had read the letter over and over again, to the pint I have memorised it word for word.
Dear Mitsuya,
If your reading this then it means I've already left. You're all probably confused, but I'm doing this so no one of you will get hurt. I can't tell you exact what's going on on where I'll be going cause quiet frankly I don't know myself. Everything that's been going in my life has never once been in my control and I need go and fix that before shit gets worse.
I'm sorry to be doing this, and trust me when I say don't want to leave you guys. I'm so, so ,so sorry Mitsuya. And I'm even more sorry to be leaving with a such a burden, but I feel like I should tell you this at least. I love you,. Mitsuya Takashi. You made me realise that there is still hope for someone like me. You made me feel safe. You made feel like I was at home for the first time in my life. I love You Mitsuya Takashi, and I'm not saying you should wait for me. Live your life. Fall in love, fall out of love, cause havoc with the others. And if in the near time future, when I am done with all of this, I'll come back. That I promise.
-Love Hana
When I first read the letter, I ended up locking myself in my room for the next few days. I only came out when Mikey came over and dragged me out. He too got a similar letter to mine, so he understood the pain I felt. I had asked Mikey what we were gonna do and he told me that we should trust Hana and wait until she comes back. So I did, we all did. Toman continued to grow as the months passed by, and soon Hana's name as our seventh founding member was forgotten. Along with her name as 'The Deadly Nightshade' in the delinquency world.I couldn't help but let out a sad chuckle at the remembrance of the cheesy nickname. She absolutely hated that nickname, more than shantung else in this world. We all used it as a way to get under her skin - mainly Mikey, Kazutora and Baji. And it would always end with us on our knees and arms up in the air, bruises on our self. Those were the good times.
Over those past few months, I slowly began to heal. The memories of Hana no longer hurting me as much as it did before. But then again it could also be because someone else came in to my life. Someone who made the pain hurt a lot less. Y/N only interested me at first cause she reminded me a bit of Hana, and I guess that's what sort of pushed me to put in the effort of getting to know her. Thought I would always be left with a bitter after taste, cause in the back of my mind it felt as though I was using her as a rebound. And I hated that, I don't want to use her like that. But I was greedy, I wanted the closure I so desperately wanted.
However I ended up getting more than closure, the more and more time I sent with Y/N the more I began to learnt about her. And the more I learn about her, the more it drew me in closer. It was like I was being sucked in to a black hole. No matter what I did, no matter what I tried. I still ended up getting sucked in to the void. And there are no complaints from me.
The joy I felt when she accepted my courtship, was like no other. I would away hear things about people falling in love, how feeling was unique and one that couldn't be found anywhere else. It always sounded like a pad of absolute bullshit to me, but I guess now. I understand what they meant.
Though despite me declaring that I'll be trying my best to court her in this one week, I haven't down much. I kept on being dragged into gang meetings, preparations for the school festival. That I've barely had an time to spare her. And now with Hana making her appearances again, shit just keeps on going downhill from here.
Mikey read the letter he got from that girl out loud to us last night, and it was from Hana to make matters even worse. She again apologised for not having been able to be with us again. Somehow she realised that Toman has been struggling a little with there being no one to fill in her role, so she sent us a trust worthy friend as her step in. Which made us question as to how she figured that out, as we've tried our best to put up a strong front. To not let anyone -even gang members- to realise how where a crucial part of our gang. But then again this is Hana, she always seemed to have something up her sleeve. I guess that's another thing I loved about her, how she always seemed to know something before it even happened.
He hasn't seem to have come to a conclusion yet, so we're all just waiting on Mikey's call on this. And it's never wrecking to start the least, neither of us have heard anything don't him since last night. Not even Draken.
Same could also be said for Y/N. I'm not blind nor am I stupid. I knew she was hiding something, lying about certain things but I just never called her out on it. But it's the thrill of the unknown that attracts me towards her. I also knew that there was no ill intent in her hiding these things, it was like I told her. I'd wait for however long she needed before she felt comfortable enough to tell me.
God, all this thinking of her is seriously making me miss her. I can't even remember the last time I saw her. A day I think? Whatever it was, it's been far too long. Deciding its about time I head back to class, I sat upright. Leaning back on my hands, I look from side to side on the are of the roof top. Noticing how oddly quiet the school is. Is everyone already in class? Isn't it still too early? I haven't heard the bell yet.
The familiar sound of the bell rang though the school, and to be honest I wasn't feeling up for school. I think'll I just bunk the home class. Letting out a big sigh, I tilt my head back and close my eyes. Smiling a little at the feeling of the sun agaisnt my face, it felt warm. "So you were here this whole time. I never took you as a boy who'd bunk class Takashi" Spoke a familiar melody from beside me. Opening one eye, I look to the side and am surprised to find Y/N. Crouched down next to me, her arms wrapped around her knees as she stares at me.
Without much thought I wrap an arm around her and pull her close to me. A small yelp escapes her lip and I can't help but smile a little at the sound. Everything about her amuses me. I pull Y/n onto my lap, her hand grab on to my shoulder whilst her legs on wither sides of my hips. Keeping herself on her knees, as she looks down at me shocked. I only give her a small yet tired smiles. Wrapping my arms around her waist, and nuzzling my face in to her stomach.
A small cute little giggle leaves her lips, as I start to feel her fingers run through the locks of my hair. I let out a small hum in contentment at the feeling of her. I turn my head ot the side and rub my cheeks against he fabric covering her stomach. "You wanna tell me why didn't come to class?" asks Y/N, and I get confused at her question. I look up at her, my chin now resting on her stomach. "What do you mean? Didn't the bell for home class just ring?" I say, tilting my head to the side a little in confusion.
I feel a wave of pride wash over me as well as a small flutter in my heart, when Y/N looks down at me with a flushed expression on her face. Cheeks tinted with a beautiful shade of pink, one that matches the colour of her lips. "W-what do you mean? That was the bell for lunch" says Y/N, turning her head to the side. The back of her had covering the lower half of her face, and I didn't like that I couldn't see her full face. So I grab the wrist of her hand and bring it down back to my shoulder. My other hand gently grabbing her face and turning it back to face me.
The pink tints on her cheeks, now blossoming into a shade of deep shade of red. "Really? I guess I lost track of time and didn't hear the bells" I say, squeezing her cheeks together. Smiling to myself a little at how adorable she looks. But it seemed that she didn't leek it so much, seeing as she sent me a little glare which only made a chuckle a Lett. Grabbing on to my hand, she guides it back to it's previous place on her waist. Holding my face in her hands, she stroked my cheeks with her thumb.
I feel myself becoming calm under her touch, the warmth she gives me is one that I'm slowly becoming addicted to. It's dangerous but I just can't seem to stop craving for it. And now that I have what I want, I don't want to ever let it go. "What's bothering you Takashi?" asks Y/N, genuine concern laced in her voice. I felt a warmth in my heart knowing she cared enough about me too worry. "Gang stuff" I mumble, pressing my face back into her stomach. Her hands move to play wit my hair, fingers occasionally stroking the back of my neck. Sending sparks of electricity to jolt through me, butterflies swarming my stomach. All of this that I'm feeling, only she can cause. And I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
"Wanna talk about it?" she hums, massaging the scalp of my head with the tips of her fingers. I squeeze my arms around her tighter, pulling her in impossibly closer to me. I don't say nor do I do yachting that give her an answer. Cause quite frankly I'm not so sure myself. I trust Y/N, that's for certain. It's just that I don't want to burden her, it's my problem and I should be able to man up and take care of it myself. Just like how she has been for such a long time. I want be able to show her that, I too am strong enough.
I hear her let out a long sigh before speaking "How about this? We bunk school today ad I take you somewhere that can maybe help you get your mind off of things" suggests Y/N, poking my cheek. "that would actually be really nice" I reply, looking up at her. She smiles at me, grabbing my face and leaning down. Out of pure shock and disbelief my arms that were previously around her drop to my sides, as she presses a long kiss on my forehead. "I'll go grab our stuff, wait for me by the gate" she says, hopping off my lap the next second and then out the door the next. I still sat there frozen, the heat rushing up my body. Only just now processing what happened. And once I did, I let out a small giggle like some love sick girl. Dropping my face into the palm of my hands. Feeling all giddy, to the point I couldn't stop smiling. She always seems to know what to do or what say to make feel better.
Following Y/N's words, I rush down the stairs and make my way to the school gates. The bright smile and giddy look on my face, not leaving for a single second. I got a bunch of looks from the other students, a lot of them whispering to each other as they looked at me, but I couldn't care less at the moment. Arriving at the school gate, I see Y/N isn't here yet so I stand idly by waiting for her. Rocking on my heels as I wait, and then I see her. Her backpack slung over one shoulder whilst she carried mine by the handle. I jog over to her, and take my bag from her hand and slinging it over my shoulder. I then remove her bag from eh shoulder and carry it. "You don't have t-" before she can disagree, I press my index finger over her lips, silencing her. The wings of the butterfly flap harder in my stomach, at the feeling of her soft lips. How much I wished for it pressed agaisnt mine at that moment. But I have to wait.
"But I want to, so let me" I smile, it now seeming permanently stitched onto my lips. "Fine" she sighs. My eyes trained on her and her alone, I stretch out my free hand "shall we?" I say. She looks at my hand for a second before looking back up with a giggle. "We shall" she reply's taking my hand in hers.
We both jumped over the school gates, and I was quite surprised to see Y/N do it with such ease. Though I am very proud and impressed, I'm kinda upset that couldn't re-enact the scenario of me grabbing her hands and helping her over. Acting like a some cool and helpful boyfriend, but maybe another time.
Once we out of a school, Y/N grabbed my hand and began to drag me as she ran. The sound of her laughter being the only thing I could hear in that moment. Along with the view of her it turning back around with a closed eyes smile on her face, all emotions clear on her face. A beautiful piece of art that I'm not even sure Da Vinci can paint for me.
She ended up dragging me to a cafe, were she went and got us food to go. A pink lemonade for herself, a regular lemonade for myself and some sandwiches and pasture for us to share. As I was bout to bring out my wallet to pay, I was beat to it when Y/N handed them a Black Fucking Card. I was too stunned to even argue.
We walked out of the cafe, with Y/N dragging my by the hand as she carried the brown paper bag that contains our food. It was only when she asked if I was okay that I snapped out of my daze. "You Have A Black Card!!" I exclaim. "Oh, it's ummmmm not really mine" nervously laugh, Y/N. Bashfully rubbing the back of her head, "then who's is it?" I ask. "An old friend, and their gonna be pissed been they find out. So keep it a secret, Kay" she says putting a finger on her lip empathising on the 'secret' part. I chuckle and ruffle the top of her head with a nod, agreeing.
Y/N then takes me to this abandoned warehouse, the rusted doors left wide open. At first I was worried that there might some delinquents hanging around in here but was glad to find none. She lead me inside, and I was fully expecting the place be trashed. But much too my surprise it was rather well kept. The place was tidied, and well kept. There was even a king sized bed found in the far corner, along with a wardrobe, desk. A small rounded table with stacked wooden carts as seats, thought they did have a rather comfy looking cushions on top of them.
The other side of the warehouse consisted of multiple, different coloured bean bags. One a hot pink, another a grey, a purple one and a baby blue one. The bean bags were formed half a circumference, and the large dark grey cushioned couch forming the horizontal line of the semi circle. And in the middle of the half circle was a lint of wooden crates, this time forming a makeshift tea table.
"Wow" I gape, taking in the view of the warehouse before me. I kept on getting surprised after surprises, and I was loving it. "Cool isn't it" grins Y/N, rocking back and forth on her heels in front of me. "It's amazing. How'd you find this place?" I ask, eyes now trained on her figure. "Found it one night when my birth parents had come play forgotten me at the supermarket and went to the club. Became my own little space after that. Even decorated and furnished it. Spent some nights here when home was getting too much" she answers a sad smile on her face, and I instantly regret having asked that. But I also feel a little happy knowing she trusts me enough to take me somewhere so personal. It's almost as if this is her way of telling me she's now allowing me into her life. And I couldn't feel any happier knowing that I'm one step closer to having her accept my confession.
"Come on" she says, once again grabbing my hand and dragging me further in to the warehouse. She's held my hand so much to the today, to the point it now feels weird not having her hand in mine. My hands feel weird, naked almost. Like it's missing it's final jigsaw piece, and Y/N's hand is exactly that final piece I'm looking for. I smile and let her drag me away, dropping our bags on the floor near the bed.
Y/N takes me to a ladder leading up to a large hole in the roof , that I hadn't even noticed until now. "Now we go up" she instructs, grabbing onto the sides of the metal ladder. Placing her left foot down on the first step, and then her right on the second. I grabbed the bag from her hand as she continued to climb up. I grabbed onto the ladder and placed my foot down of the first stabilizing the slightly shaking ladder.
Once she climbed over the final and top step, she pushed her body through the large hole in the roof. And when she fully through, her head peeked through the whole hand grabbing on to the edges. "Come on now" she grins, signalling for me hurry over. I do as she says, climbing the steps of the ladder with the paper bag still in my hand. Once I was close Enough, Y/N snatched the bag from my hand and placed it somewhere. Before outstretching her hand for me, which I happily grabbed onto to. Helping me through the whole of through.
When I had made it through the large hole in the roof, we both shuffled and sat ourselves down on the roof top. Making sure we were in a safe position and wouldn't fall to our literal death. I sat myself to the right of Y/N, watching her as she scourges through the bag. Taking out her pink lemonade and placing it on her left, and then handing me drink, which i take a sip of. Nodding in satisfaction at the taste of it, my eyes still watching as she brings out the sandwiches. Handing me one and taking one for herself, Y/N turns her head back to the front. Letting out a small sigh of contentment as she takes a bite of the food. I follow the direction of her gaze, and see one of the most amazing view of the Shibuya skyline.
"I like to go here some times when I need to take m mind off a couple of things. It's nice and quiet out here" says Y/N closing her eyes and smiling as the summer breeze rushes past her. Her black and grey strands blowing back with the wind. Her withe and black hanafuda earrings dangling with the night breeze. "It is nice out here" I agree, resting my chin on my face as I stare at her side profile. It amazes me that a person like her could be so beautify. No matter the angle that I look at her, she is absolutely breathtaking. It's very clear that every single feature, every minute detail was crafter with extreme precision. I'm not much of a religious man, but every time I look at her I can't stop but thank the Lord for sending me one of his angels.
However as the mid-day breeze contuses to go past, I notice how her figure begins to sway width eh wing. Scared that she'd fall, I wrap and arm around her shoulder and pull her in close to my side. Securing her close to me where she'd be safe, I smile softly at her as her faux lilac eyes stare up at me with slightly shock. At first I thought her lilac eyes where open of the most beautiful things in the world, but I was proven false when I saw her true blue eyes. As much as I'd like to see them now, for myself, I understand her reasons for doing so. And even tough she says this place is safe, I wouldn't wan to take any risks.
We both stayed like this, her in my arms. Talking about the most random of the things, and never did she once ask again about what happened. And I couldn't have been any more grateful, that she understood me like no other. In all honestly, during this entire day I hadn't that about the gang situation at all. Another thing I love about Y/N is that she has the ability to draw my attention away from whatever it is and make me focus on her and solely her alone. Allowing me to forget about my problems for a while and take a breather. And she odes all of this without even realising she is.
"So the manga club is gonna do a cafe?" I ask, taking a sip of my lemonade. "Yup", reply's Y/N popping the p at the end, "what is the home economics club gonna do?" she asks. "We gonna be doing a fashion show. Each member is gonna have come with a design and the audience will vote of who's the best." I say, now internally groaning as I remember the piling work I have left to complete. "That's sound so cool. Have you come up with your design yet?" she says sparkles all around her in amazement. I chuckle lightly at her reaction, finding it too adorable. "No, not really. I haven't even found myself a muse yet." I reply, dragging the palm of my hand down my face. Letting outa loud groan of annoyance soon after. Y/n giggles at my response before saying
"How about I be your muse then?"