AFFILIATION AND BLISS [PART 1...

By heartdevilxoxo

16.2K 1.1K 2.2K

two loser girls finding their place on the moral compass. asa mitaka x female reader fanfic :3 [PART 2 IN PR... More

an unwanted interaction
a mind that's been changed
the morning sun is yellow
the midnight moon is blue
peer into the window of my heart
be the sun that shines
give me a moment to breathe
don't put me in my place, feline!
your secret wouldn't be safe with me
look at this cool pebble
give me the thing i love (or don't)
i'm trying to tell you something, something that i already said
i hope nobody catch us
it almost worked
then dive inside the mindset of a killer
trade your dreams with mine
i can't sleep no more
get your face between my thighs
caught in-between love and fear
it's the thuggish ruggish bone
YOOOOO, CHESS T! (side chapter)
are you really who they idolize
i, i really wish you'd make up your mind
you don't have to speak, don't need to talk to me, baby, i already know
watch you weigh your powers
go, use your muscle, carve it out, work it, hustle
take a step back, letting go of the fear
together we'll mend your heart
i wanna take you away.
wrong move, ya dead, that girl is poison
then sink the teeth and bat your eyes
and now look at 'em, look at 'em, now, look at 'em sting
you got my heartbeat running away
must be love on the brain
all i wanted was you
in tune with all our dreams
WORSHIP! PLAY, PLAY! WORSHIP! PLAY, WORSHIP! PLAY! WORSHIP! WORSHIP!
go waste your breath somewhere to someone new
i already told her, if we gon' do it, then we gon' do it my way
just as i'd rehearsed over in my brain
forgive me and the world outside your room
i drink the poison right from your hands
you should wake up before the wrath comes
me and you could take off before the wrath comes
it's a scary night like trick or treat, i wanna scare her
there's a hole in the earth, i'm out
shut up and relax, don't lose your head
new scars, same war
a cold soul seeking warmth
now did you get it? get it, so write it down
you should know by now, really, that this could end, really
now ask yourself why it never ends
then why are you here?
next to the infant crying in your heart
rises the moon
you will never be free
decide! decide, is this it, is it just fine?
i swear i'll only make you cry
i've watched you change, now you feel alive
goodnight, hearts. (authors note)

russian roulette is not the same without a gun

409 32 52
By heartdevilxoxo

You take a bite of your burger as you watch Asa pick at her food. Yoshida is resting his elbows on the table, sipping a cup of tea. Nobody's really talking.

"Thanks for buying us food.. oh! I forgot to ask your name!" You say to him. "It's Yoshida. I'm surprised I ran into you and Asa.. must be fate." He says and puts his tea cup down gently. "I'm Y/N, it's nice to meet ya!" You try to keep a positive attitude.

"I was surprised, too.." Asa mutters.

"I'd appreciate if you'd speak up." Yoshida says as he adds a sugar cube to his tea.

"Asa. Play it off like you're shy." Yoru whispers into her ear.

I don't have to fake that!

"O-Oh! Sorry! Haha.. ah.. I-I said I was surprised, too!"

"That was awkward, not shy."

Shut up!

Yoshida's lips curl into a subtle smile. "You were impressive against that devil. I didn't know you had that in you. I'm guessing you're already experienced?" His eyes almost seem dead. It's a little intimidating, but not at the same time.

Is he trying to interrogate me?!

"N-Not really.. I guess it was just adrenaline.." That's a good excuse, right? Just instincts?

"I see." His smile slowly disappears while he mixes his tea with a small spoon.

That's it?!

The two go silent again. You look in between them. Are all of her interactions like this..?

"I didn't know you could fight good, Asa. I knew you were in that club, but I guess I never questioned your skills." You speak while chewing.

"Hey! Quit talking before you swallow your food, I've told you that already!"

"Sorry, sorry, it's a habit!"

Yoshida chuckles a bit. "How did you two meet?" He questions.

You both look at him. "We were paired together for a social assignment in class. We gotta write a poem about each other." You swallow before speaking, taking a drink from your soda after. "That sounds fun."

"We didn't really talk before, so I'm glad I'm her partner for the assignment. I wouldn't pick anyone else." You give Asa a smile.

Asa becomes a bit flustered. "Aww.. you're too sweet. I wouldn't either.. well, it's not like I'd have a choice, anyway. They all hate me."

"I never hated you, I didn't really like Bucky all that much. He made too many egg jokes, it stopped being funny after the first few times. Plus, it was just an accident." You take another bite.

"..."

"Yeah. You're right. They shouldn't hate me for that!"

"Asa." She looks over at Yoshida. "H-Huh?"

"Are you gonna eat? I bought it for you, after all." Yoshida interrupts.

"Sorry.." She fiddles around with her utensil and takes a bite.

"Don't be. If you don't have an appetite, you don't have to eat."

She swallows. "N-No, it's not that."

"Oh? Is something on your mind?" He picks up his cup and finishes his tea.

"Um.." Her eyes dart around and she ends up staring down at the table. His eyes remain on her as he tilts his head a couple inches to the right.

"Asa, say something!" Yoru yells.

She looks to her left and glares at Yoru. "St- ..."

AH! You almost made me talk out loud! Quit talking to me!!!

She whips her head back towards Yoshida. "S.. um.. stupid. It's something stupid. I-It doesn't matter." She smiles awkwardly, trying to hide her anxiety.

You decide to speak. "Are you sure? I'm kinda worried now."

"D-Don't worry! I'm fine, I promise!" She raises her hands beside her head and shakes her head as she speaks.

Ugh.. I feel bad for lying..

It seems Yoshida is examining her. You let out a sigh. "If you say so.." You take the last bite of your burger and wipe your hands off with a napkin.

"Mmm.. I don't believe you." Yoshida says.

"H-Huh? Why..?" She slowly puts her hands in her lap.

"You shook your head no while talking."

Dang it!

"Did I? I'm not lying, really!"

"I'll take your word for it. If something is wrong, I'm all ears."

She watches Yoru sit down in an empty chair, leaning over the table and glaring at Asa. "Don't get any ideas." She says with a cold tone.

I'm not, jeez..

"Thanks.. I'll.. keep that in mind." She responds. You sip out of your straw and finish your drink. You make sure to get all of it, despite how loud it is. They both look at you. Your eyes redirect themselves towards the two as you continue. You stop.

"What?"

"Why are you slurping so loud.." Asa says.

"Weird choice of words.." You reply.

"What other word would I use?!"

You giggle and put your cup down. "I'm just messing with you." She glares at you for a moment before laughing herself.

"You two are a good pair." Yoshida blurts out. "Well, I've decided to take my leave. Have fun." He sits up and begins to walk away. "H-Huh? Why so suddenly?" You say. He turns around. "I have things to do. I simply wanted to check on the aquarium."

"Oh.. alright. Thanks again! Bye bye!" You wave goodbye.

"Bye, Yoshida." Asa says.

"I'll have a chat with you later, Asa." He walks away.

A CHAT?!

She slowly turns her head back towards you. She seems startled. You sigh and lean over the table a bit. "Y'know, I can tell you're not fine.. what's wrong?" You speak softly.

I.. can't tell her.. this is so stressful.

"You better not. Remember, I can kill you at any time." Yoru says.

That doesn't sound so bad..

Yoru grunts rather loud. "I really wish you weren't like this. It's irritating!"

Maybe if you'd stop threatening me, it'd be different.

She stays quiet.

"Y/N.. just.. don't worry about it.. I'll be okay."

"What, do you like him or something?"

"HELL NO! I mean, just- no, I don't!"

"Jeez! A simple no would've worked!" She frowns a bit and looks down, fidgeting with her hands. "S-Sorry.. I really don't.."

"Well, good. That'd be a big problem for me, y'know?" You smile.

She blushes a little. "I just felt like he kinda.. interrupted."

"Interrupted our date?"

T-This was a date?

"I-I.. guess so.."

"So he was third wheeling then? You could've said no, it wouldn't have been rude."

"Sorry.. I have a hard time saying no."

"You apologize a lot. You don't need to if you didn't do something wrong."

"S.. err.. okay."

You stand up and stretch, groaning as you do. "Hey, at least we got free food! You didn't finish yours, though. If you don't want it, I'll eat it. I don't like wasting food." You walk over and stand beside her. "You can have it. You don't get to eat that much, right?" You nod your head. "Thanks." You lean down and kiss her forehead, taking her tray as you sit back down. Her feet shuffle under the table as she quietly giggles.

"Thank you for being here with me.." She mumbles. "You don't have to thank me. I really like being around you." Her feet shuffle more and she can't contain her smile. "I feel better now." She looks up at you as she speaks. "Yay! I'm glad!" You take a bite.

"This is an odd feeling." Yoru says. Asa looks at her from the corner of her eye. Is.. is she smiling?!

Woah! Haha, you're smiling!

"Am I?.. I see."

It's nice, right?

"No."

Oh, come on. Don't shove everything down, it's not good for you.

"No."

Asa sighs and turns back to you. "What do you wanna do when you're done eating- oh, you're done."

You take her hand and stand her up. "Honestly, I don't really care what we do. I just like being around you." You take her other hand and hold it. It's warm. She avoids eye contact, but you can see her smile grow more. "O-Okay.. do you wanna go back to Chester, then?" Her voice is shaky." He's probably still knocked out, but sure. I miss 'em, anyway." You let go of one of her hands and start to walk with her.

You exit the building and start making your way back to your apartment. Asa looks to her left and sees Yoru staring at you. She doesn't seem to notice Asa's gaze.

Is something wrong?

She doesn't respond.

Yoru?

She looks at Asa. "What?"

Why are you looking at Y/N like that?

"I'm wondering what her organs look like."

WHAT?

"What's the matter?"

..Is that your way of admiring someone?

"I'm not admiring her."

Then why are you.. fantasizing about her.. organs..?

"I'm not fantasizing!"

Asa suddenly collapses onto the ground, holding her head and groaning. She pulls you down a little and you're hunched over. You feel a gust of wind above you and you turn your head around. A bat is hovering over you and you see one of the girls that you encountered at the park. "Wh-" She attempts to hit you over the head, but you let go of Asa's hand and move out of the way. In a second, she's dropped the bat and you've got her in a headlock. "What the FUCK is wrong with you?! Over a CHICKEN? SERIOUSLY?!" You yell, tightening the headlock. You hear a crack and she goes limp. Uh oh.

"Y/N, stop!" Asa stands up and grabs your shoulder. You let go of the girl and she falls over. Asa's hand slides off your shoulder and she stands beside you. "Is.. is she okay..?"

"U-Um.." You look around your surroundings. It seems nobody's around..

You start to panic a bit, covering your mouth and wrapping your arm around your waist. You tap your cheek out of anxiety. Asa bends down and gently smacks the girls face. "H-Hey! Are you okay?" The girl doesn't respond. Her eyes are closed. Asa opens one of her eyes, and her eye is rolled back. "Asa.. I didn't mean to.." Asa slowly turns her head towards you, looking you up and down. She's scared.

"D-Did you snap her neck?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"How do you accidentally snap someone's neck?!"

You stay silent, biting your finger.

"We have to take her to a hospital!"

"N-No! I'll get arrested!"

Yoru sighs beside Asa. "This isn't good. It won't be good for you either if we do take her to a hospital, and it'll be a whole mess. I can't afford a set back in my quest."

"Set back?!" Asa is suddenly standing beside her body, looking down at herself. "No. No! You did NOT!" She yells.

Yoru stands up and turns her body towards you. "You're right. We'll hide her body." You're taken aback by her sudden change of mind, but you can't question it right now. "Yeah.. where, though..?"

"I'll take care of it. You return to your apartment." She speaks as she picks up the body, carrying it on her back. "Yoru, no! We need to go to a hospital!" Yoru ignores her. "A-Are you sure? It's my fault, I should do it.."

"No. Walk away. This never happened." Yoru says sternly as she begins to jog away. You stand still, watching her get further and further away. You notice the sun is beginning to set already. How much time has passed..?

You hold your face, mumbling all sorts of things to yourself. Taking a deep breath, you stumble back to your apartment.

You open the door and Chester jumps on your shoulder. "Oh.. you're awake." You pet him, taking him off your shoulder and cradling him like a baby. "I did something bad again." You tell him. "Mow?" He tilts his head. "I know you can speak. I heard you whispering to Asa."

"..." He looks away and purrs a bit. "Did you hear what I said?"

"No, but I knew you were speaking." You take him to your room and place him down on your bed. You sit down and hunch over, holding your face and rubbing your eyes. He crawls onto your lap and looks up at you. "What'd you do this time? I've been able to understand you, so I know the previous things you did."

"I killed someone. It was an accident."

"Oh. What a shame." He sits up and brushes himself against you. "Where's Asa?"

"H-Hiding the body.."

"What? Is she? That's odd.. she doesn't seem the type."

"It's like.. she had a switch in personality. I've noticed that happens quite a bit."

Chester remains quiet, deciding to avoid talking about that. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Don't overthink it."

"How will it be fine?!"

"It could be framed as a devil attack. Those happen more than murders. She seems pretty smart, so I'm sure she'll think of it."

"W-Wouldn't you have to mutilate the body?"

"Yes."

"Yoru, please stop!" Yoru places her down near a field, placing her hand on top of the corpses head. "She's already dead. Stop trying to convince me to deviate from my plan." Asa sits down next to Yoru. "Well.. what's your plan..?" She asks.

"I consider her an object now, since she's a corpse. She was a worthless bully, was she not? That means we're better than her. Therefore, in a way, we own her." She explains. "A-Are you gonna turn her into a weapon..?" Her voice shakes. "Stupid question. It'd be better if you did it. What's her name?" Asa stays silent as she begins to sweat. "Answer."

Asa's hand is now on top of the corpses head. "Ugh, just repeat after me."

Asa begins to breath heavily, closing her eyes. "It's.. Hanako.."

"Okay. Hanako Spinal Cord Sword."

"..."

"Say it."

"H..."

"Go on."

"Hanako Spinal Cord Sword.."

A handle pops out of her head and Asa begins to pull it. It's struggling to get out. She keeps pulling, but she's just dragging the body closer to her. She gets up and steps on her chest, using both hands to pull it. "Ngghh.. i-it won't come out..!" Yoru watches and rubs her face in disappointment. "Pull harder."

Asa leans back, using all of her strength to pull it out. She can hear the flesh and skin ripping apart as she continues to grunt. "Ngghhh.. NNGGHHH.. A-AH!" She stumbles back as it completely rips out, blood and pieces of flesh dripping off of it. She struggles to hold it. "I-It's heavy!" She examines it in horror. "O-Oh gosh.. are.. are you happy now.."

"Yes, actually. Good job. I'm proud of you. I'm surprised you actually managed to rip it out. I thought I'd have to do it." Yoru smiles.

Asa drops the sword to her side and begins to throw up. "Oh!" Yoru backs up a bit even though it wouldn't touch her. "Are you alright?"

"HELL NO!"

"I know this may be stressful for you."

"STRESSFUL IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!" She continues to throw up.

"I feel a bit sick since you're vomitting. I could take over for a bit to test out the weapon while you calm yourself."

"I-I'd actually appreciate that.."

"Good." Yoru takes control of her body and wipes her mouth. "That's better. Take deep breaths." Asa follows her instruction while Yoru picks up the sword. She looks around to find a target. She sees a rather thick tree in the distance. It looks old, and it's at least 15 inches wide. She begins to walk over to the tree. Once she's in front of it, she swings at the tree, but not hard. It immediately slices the tree in half and it slowly falls over, booming as it crashes upon the ground. Yoru's eyes go wide and she admires the sword. "A fine weapon, indeed!" She turns toward Asa. "This will definitely be of use when I fight Chainsaw Man!"

"I-I'm glad you're satisified, I guess.." Yoru walks over to her. "Satisfied? I'm ecstatic! This is truly impressive, Asa."

"..Thanks..? We have to walk home with this, right..?"

"Yes, we do. Let's mutilate the body before leaving. It already looks like an abnormal death, but it's simply to make sure. I'll squeeze some out of the blood out nearby to make it seem like it's been drank. You go wait somewhere else, I assume you wouldn't want to watch this."Asa immediately walks away and waits for Yoru to finish up.

After about 20 minutes, Yoru walks back with blood smeared across her hands and face. "Well, that was fun. Let's go back."

"Hell no! You're covered in blood!"

"It's dark out, nobody is outside. Your apartment isn't very far from here, no? I'll run to get there faster."

"Okay.."

Yoru shakes some of the blood off the sword and begins to run. Asa tries to keep up with her, but realizes it's pointless.

After a bit of waiting, she blinks and she's in her bedroom. The sword is placed on her shelf. "..Are you displaying it?" She asks, a bit weirded out. "Of course! It's beautiful!"

"We are NOT displaying it! What if Y/N comes over and sees it?!"

"Ugh! Fine! Hide it somewhere, then!" Asa grunts and lifts it up, shoving it far under her bed. "It smells gross.. won't it get even more gross over time?" She says, walking to the room with her washing machine. "I suppose you have a point. I didn't think of that." She rubs her chin and begins to think as Asa takes her uniform off. "Well, maybe we can try and clean it or something? We could cut pieces of the head off but avoid the part the handle is attached to.." She speaks as she opens the washer and throws her uniform in.

"Good idea! We'll need something to cut it with, though. Do you have any valuable items that you'd be willing to turn into a knife so we could cut it? A normal knife wouldn't work." Asa thinks for a moment. "I-I'm not sure.. I could look in my room..?"

"I'll look for you. Take a shower." She walks out of the room and towards her bedroom. Asa puts a pod in the washer and closes it, turning it on and standing still for a moment. After a few seconds, she sighs and walks to her bathroom, stripping and turning the shower on. She waits for the water to heat up and she steps in.

She lets the water hit her head as the blood slowly begins to wash off of her.

She gets some soap and begins to wash her body, trying not to think about what happened.After she's done, just before she washes her hair, she stops in her tracks and bursts out into tears. She slowly sits down and hugs her knees, rocking back and forth as she continues to cry.

Y/N only did that to protect me.. she didn't mean to.. it was an accident.. if I was scared of her, I'd definitely be a hypocrite..

I wonder what would've happened if she didn't do that.. why.. why do I feel glad? At the same time, I-I feel awful.. but.. good.. I'm the worst..

She wipes her tears and stands back up, sighing and washing her hair. She turns the water off and steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel and drying herself off. She wraps the towel around herself and walks out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Yoru is still looking around her room. "Did you find anything?"

"Nothing aside from that book you read to Y/N."

"I-I don't wanna turn that into a weapon.."

"We can always get a new copy."

"But.. my mom gave it to me on my birthday."

"I see. We don't need a knife that strong, then.. what about any clothes you like?"

Asa opens her drawer and pulls out a shirt with a sun design on it. "When I was younger, one of the orphans gave this to me. They were nice, so I kept it."

"That'll work. Go on."

"Sun Shirt Knife."

The shirt forms into a knife and she places it on top of her dresser. She pulls out underwear, a sweater and some shorts. "I'd appreciate if you'd look away."

"Well, I'd already see since if you take something off, it comes off of me as well, but whatever you say."

"Just close your eyes, then!"

"You do this every time. Fine."

Yoru lays down on the bed and closes her eyes. Asa puts her clothes on and sits on the bed by Yoru. "Since it's such a powerful weapon.. do we even have to make more?"

Yoru stays silent.

"Yoru?"

Why does she fall asleep so fast..?

She sighs and looks at the clock. It's pretty late. Well, what Asa considers late. Even so, she decides she wants to go see you.

You hear a knock on your door. You're sitting at your desk, writing. You get up and open the door. Asa is standing in front of you, looking down at her shoes.

"Is everything okay?"

"Mhm.."

"..I'm sorry."

She looks up at you and pouts. "Don't be. I know you didn't mean to. I'm just wondering how you were able to do that so quickly.. how strong are you, anyway? First, you're able to jump out of my window and have no injuries, then.. you snap someone's neck with ease."You stay silent and look away. "Um.."

"Well..?"

"..."

She tilts her head and raises an eyebrow. You stay silent and walk away to your bedroom. "Y/N..?" She takes her shoes off and follows you to your room.

Chester runs up to Asa and rubs against her legs. "Hi, Asa. Are you feeling alright?"

"O-Oh, you're talking now..?"

"Yup, Y/N wanted me to."

"I see.. I'm okay. Just a bit startled.."

She walks over to your bed and sits down, noticing your notebook is open. She assumes you don't want to answer her question, so she decides to change the subject. "Were you writing again?"

"Y-Yeah.. I was."

"Can I see?"

"N-No.. I'll show you later."

"Ooooh, is it the poem?"

"Maybe."

She smiles subtly as you sit next to her. "Y/N.. I hope you know I don't hate you." You look at her. "Y-You don't?"

She shakes her head no. You let out a sigh of relief and place your hand on your chest. "I was worried you did.. why don't you, though?"

"I'd.. well.."

I can't tell her exactly why.. but..

"I guess I didn't really like her. It doesn't justify killing her, but I doubt she'd ever stop. Plus, she did hit me over the head just because of an accident."

"Yeah.. I agree. Also.. I've noticed something. Sometimes.. you have a change of attitude suddenly. Why is that?"

Uh oh..

"W-What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Asa."

Her head drifts away from you and she looks at Chester for a moment. He sits next to her.

"Um.. it's.. it's because.."

How the hell am I supposed to answer?! Oh, maybe..

"I.. try to stay strong and be more confident, even if I have to fake it."

"And it causes that big of a change?"

"Well.. I gotta be extreme with it for it to work, I guess.."

"Makes sense.. but.. it's a bit hard to believe."

Crap!

"Why?"

"You aren't that good of a liar, Asa."

"Excuse me?"

"I'll stop asking about it. You don't seem comfortable with sharing why, so I won't worry about it."

She stares at you, feeling a bit annoyed but it's covered up with guilt. "Sorry.."

"It's alright, don't worry. Again, don't apologize if you didn't do something wrong." She nods her head and starts to get up.

"I should go.. I just came to make sure you were okay and reassure you that everything's been taken care of. I'll see you later." She starts to walk out of the room.

"W-Wait!" You get up and grab her hand.

She turns her head around. "H-Huh?" You hold her hand and step forward. "I.. I don't want you to go."

"..."

"I'll stay with you."

"..Thank you."

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