Days have passed and I think our relationship has levelled up. Our eyes would often meet during our classes at para akong malalagutan ng hininga palagi. And my days will be completed with our simple eye interactions. Or is it just me? Ako lang ba ang nakakaramdam ng ganito?
"Okay class, for today meet your partner and summarize your experiences this past three weeks of your internship, you can use any format you want, as long as it contains what you had done and what are things that you think affects your behaviour at work, whether it is external, or internal. Okay?"
She then glanced at me again and I quickly gathered my things. I collected my things since this is our last subject in the afternoon. Dismissal na pagkatapos.
"Enjoy your time with Ada, Gaston." Peter smirked at me as he went off.
I just smirked at him too and carried my bag. There is already a reserved chair for me just right beside her, and I can't help but smile.
"Hi!" I greeted her.
I swear, her cold aura has gotten warmer and she is more relaxed too. She brought out yellow pad paper as we started sharing ideas.
"We should include what we had during the meeting…" She suggested and I immediately nodded.
We used some of her notes during the presentation. I can offer to write but she already started, and her handwriting is cleaner too. I adjusted more of my seat to her, hanggang sa magdikit na ang mga upuan namin.
She didn't look at me nor protested so I guess it's fine. I looked at her handwriting carefully and from time to time can't help but glimpse at her face too, specifically her lips. I noticed how some parts of her hands are calloused, hindi ko mapigilang humugot ng malalim na hininga. She must have been working really really hard, and can't help but wonder how much work she has these days?
"We will be including the visitation and checking this friday right?" She suddenly blurted out.
Nalipat ang tingin niya sa akin. "Uhmmm, oo. We will visit the site in the Bulacan." I whispered as I looked at her eyes.
I just noticed how my voice will go lower whenever we are talking. Napaiwas ako ng tingin ng lumalim ang titig niya sa akin. My cheeks heated up and I could clearly feel it.
I fake caught just to get rid of her eyes. "Ahem...may tanong ka pa?" Now, fuck my voice cause it is really getting lower.
"Wala na." She cooly responded.
We finished early and I hope we didn't because she is now ready to get out of the class. Partners who are already finished could go home now. I watched her prepare her things in her bag.
"Mauuna na ako." She simply bid her goodbye.
I can't do anything but nood my head. I smiled at her as she turned her back at me.
My smile won't fade in my lips as I stare at her back, why does her back become too attractive to me too? Nababaliw na ba ako? Was Peter right?
"Gaston, don't forget my club party tonight." Peter uttered beside me.
I looked at him and he was busy with his phone. "What club?"
Binalingan niya ako ng matalim na tingin pagkatapos ay huminga ng malalim. "I've been telling you repeatedly. Doon sa bagong bukas na club na pinuntahan niyo na dati.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa kanya. "Kung saan nagtatrabaho si Carmella?"
He looked at me weirdly. "The fuck are you saying? I don't know, basta doon."
"Yeah, that's where she works." I can't help but feel excited.
Napakamot siya sa kanyang ulo."You know what Gaston, here is the situation. If you do not know, nakapila ang mga manliligaw ni Ada, at wala pa yang naging boyfriend. Now, if you really like her and if you continue looking like this, then have the balls to properly court her."
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa muling akusasyon niya. I looked at him seriously. "I said, wala akong gusto sa kanya."
I saw his frustrations as I uttered those words again to him. Dahil ilang beses na ba akong nagdeny sa kanya? I lost count already.
"And if you do not know too, one of the guys who has a crush on her in another section has been with her these past few days too. The reason? I don't know! Kaya kung ako sayo gumalaw galaw ka na."
Nanlaki ang nga mata ko sa kanya then my eyes transferred to her back. She has been with someone these past few days? She let another man near her too? At bakit wala man akong akong napansin? I could feel my heart skipping a beat just thinking about it.
"I've never seen you this way Gaston, ngayon lang. You might have been feeling this way for her for a long time and you are just good at denying and masking it. You might regret things now, if you don't take action quickly."
We took our lunch and I am very bothered. I felt anxious all throughout hanggang sa pagbalik namin sa klase. We were on the way when I quickly noticed Carmella in the hallway with a guy. I can only see her back but I am damn sure who she is. My walk slowed down as I watched her talk with the guy, is this what Peter is talking about?
I clenched my jaw as I noticed how close they were, they seemed so immersed with their conversation. I can't see her expression but the guy that she's with was smiling widely and chuckling. I could feel my boiling anger just thinking that she was smiling too.
"See?" Napatingin ako kay Peter na nasa aking tabi. "He's the guy I'm talking about."
Muli akong bumaling sa kanila. "I told you Gaston, you should---"
I didn't finish his sentence and started walking again. I heard him cursing and quickly followed me. I could feel the stares of students as I walked into the corridor.
"Hi, Gas---" A girl tried approaching and touching me but I quickly pushed her hand.
I stopped and looked at her piercingly. Her mouth hung open and her eyes panicked as she looked at me looked at her with blazing anger.
Kaagad na pumagitna si Peter. "Chill, Gaston…" He whispered as he looked at me.
I clenched my jaw more at iniwan na sila doon. Well, I dont give a fuck.
Peter's last words remain in my head all day long, hanggang sa bar. He rented out the whole bar but I remained quiet on the corner, I just don't have the energy to mingle right now. I'm just trying to find her now but she isn't here. Wala ba siyang schedule ngayon? Or was she with that guy? I can't help but feel paranoid.
"Hey Gaston! How are you?" An ex-girlfriend approached me.
She looked at me biting her lips. Huminga ako ng malalim. Now or never, I need to sort out what I really feel.
I smiled flirtingly at her too as I tapped the space in my side. Nagliwanag ang mukha niya at kaagad ko siyang hinapit palapit sa akin. She slapped my chest playfully.
"Do you want some drinks?" I offered her.
She languidly caressed my leg as she nodded. I smirked and poured another glass for her.
"Do you have a girlfriend right now?" She asked .
I chuckled at her question, I then caressed her exposed legs. "I don't..."
"Uh huh…." Her hands in my thighs went higher until she reached me. "Do you want to get outta here?" She sensually whispered.
Fuck that!
I grabbed the back of neck and kissed her deeply on the lips, she responded immediately as her hands caressed mine more.
"Fuck!" My kisses went to her neck as she moaned loudly.
I grabbed her waist and made her straddle me. She got my point and quickly grinded her ass against mine.
This should be good. I've tried finding my growing libido but fuck it! I slowed down with my kisses until I totally stopped. There is definitely something wrong with me! And I am too afraid to acknowledge it.
"Gaston....what's the problem?" She tried kissing me again but I tilted my head.
This is wrong. This felt so wrong. It's been weeks since I got my last sex, and this thing has never happened to me before.
She got off of me as I pulled my hair out. Things are getting frustrating and it's hard for me to control it.
"Get lost." I closed my eyes tightly after uttering it.
'She is with another man, Gaston.' Peter's words repeatedly rang in my head and I could feel my blood boiling. 'You might regret things now.' I am not sure if his words really help me or not.
"Fine!" She stomped her feet heavily until she was out of my sight.
I grabbed my glass and immediately gobbled it up, this situation is really fucking me up and my whole system. I smiled bitterly, is this my karma? Am I really in this situation right now?
I looked up to the second floor and saw someone looking at me. My breath hitched as she stared at me coldly. Now, why the fuck am I feeling so fucking guilty now that she possible caught me red handed, kahit wala naman akong ginawang masama?
I breathed in deeply and avoided her gaze. She is nothing to me. And so what if she caught me making out? Wala lang iyon sa kanya at normal lang iyon sa akin. She is cold as fuck and she won't feel a thing, that is for sure.
With a heavy heart, I joined a crowd and started mingling with them. But from time to time, hindi ko mapigilang tumingin ulit sa ikalawang palapag. She is not there anymore, I heaved out a sigh, this situation is making me insane. Fuck it!
I exited the crowd that I am in. I want to go home now, I looked up for Peter to say goodbye but he is nowhere to be found. Instead, I got my phone and texted him. Afterwhich, I immediately got out.
I was walking to the parking lot when suddenly the car on my far left side opened its doors. I was supposed to continue walking but I was shocked to see who came out, Carmella went out in the passenger seat as the guy who was with her during lunchtime went on the driver's side.
She is still wearing her waitress uniform at napansin ko kaagad ang pag aayos niya sa kanyang uniporme. My mind went into chaos trying to conclude what just happened between them. Are they fucking each other?
Maybe. I know students just like her. Who act timidly and silently, who always act silent and innocent, but deep inside, they whoring themselves, madaling bumigay. Was she like that too? I can't help but smile bitterly at my own thoughts. Well, she is good at pretending and masking her true nature if that's the case.
Nanatiling nakaawang ang mga labi ko sa nasaksihan. Kami lang ang nandito sa parking at hindi pa nila ako napapansin, the guy waved at her and he entered his car. Carmella, on the other hand, waved back and he drove off.
Why should I witness a fucking scene like that?
I should have minded my own business, but my feet moved on their own and approached her. My eyes blazed with an unshattered sense of anger. She then finally looked at her side and noticed my presence.
My walk became faster and heavy as I approached her. I stopped a few feet away from her as she looked at me nervously. Well, I caught her whoring herself and she should feel nervous.
I smirked at her evilly. "What are you doing with that guy?"
I stepped further as she stepped backward. I catched a glimpse of fear in her eyes as she looked at me more.
"Wh---why are you looking...at me like that?" She stuttered.
Of course, who wouldn't be afraid of my eyes.
"Lookin like what?" I gritted my teeth. "So tell me, what is your business with that guy?"
I approcher her further hanggang sa napasandal na siya sa isang poste. I instantly put my hands on her side, trapping her. She looked at me like I am a very different person. The fear in her eyes flared up more as she had nowhere to go.
"Gaston, get off." She almost pleaded, her voice a little bit shaking too.
I laughed without humour and she slightly flinched. "Tell me first...what are you doing with that guy?" I gritted my teeth.
Her eyes glistened with tears and that is when I came into my senses. I stepped back and removed my hands from her sides.
"He j-just gave me...the money for tutoring his little sister...for her piano lessons." She stuttered.
My mouth hangs open from what she said.
"I just need some money right now...dapat bukas pa niya ibibigay pero kinausap ko siya at pumayag na ibigay na niya ngayon." Sha added more.