𝙿𝚑𝚊𝚖 𝙷𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚜 𝙿𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠.
I love and I fail to protect that kind of loving, the more I think of it everyday, the more I break my heart. Kim Minji is gone, she's gone....
My head hurts, same as my heart the woman I love is gone,why does it need to happen to us? Why us?. Every second I think of her I wonder what will happen if I didn't cheat, will we able to marry each other and be happy together? If I just trust her and trust the process everything will happen according to what we want. I wanna be with Minji until I die, until there is no more heart beat left in me.
there's a lot of plans we haven't done yet, we're not even half of our list but i am here left alone on my own, without anything it would be better if i have my sister here but Haerin is far too mad to me.
i just want one thing in my life... and that's having Minji again, please send her back to me i promise to treat her good, love her better and never hurt her again.
two days ago, i lost my girl, i lost Kim Minji in a most tragic way, i lose her and its all my freaking fault got no one to blame but myself. on that day i really tried my best to beg on Mr.Kim to let me see Minji and hold her hand, tell her i was sorry for everything, kiss her lips because i miss her so bad, but Mr.Kim trusted personal guards had carry me out of the hospital and they never let me meet my lover.
it keeps ringing in my head, keeps on repeating those words he said before he kick me out of the hospital
"you don't deserve my daughter... she's way out of your league, now she's dead i will cut the last connection she have to you" he said and held my hand to take the ring that Minji gave and the other ring that i use as a pendant in my necklace because im hoping that one sunny day i will be able to wear it back to Minji's fingers. i remember how i beg for him to gave it back to me, at least a memory for me to hold on to.
i can lose everything i have but i can't lose Kim Minji, i cant lose her yet i already did. she's gone, why am i so careless in my actions?
they never know just how much i would give up jut to have you back on my life again Kim Minji...
my tears falls again as i look at her picture drink the bitter liquid in my hand as i sat at the ground and rest my back at the side of the bed and let my tears to fall. i stare at it and a tear drops on it "i miss you, i miss you... please... tell me you're alive, give me a sign that you are not really dead... that i can still fix what I've broken... please comeback to me" i plead as if she can hear me, as if those words are enough to bring her back at me
i made a mistake, now im living the consequences. I regret it, i really do and im really sorry my love
If life had a rewind button i will gladly go back in the day we met, i will fix things for us, choose a better choices, and love you in the same way you do. but i can't undo the things that I've done, can bring you back in life... i can't change anything anymore, i will forever live in this kind of grief... in this kind of hurting where i learn that i am completely no one without you.
How do i say the words “Im Sorry” when i know that words are not enough? And how can i ask you to forgive me if you're gone and i can't even forgive myself for hurting you...
i kill her, maybe i don't use my hands, i don't use anything to kill her but the pain i gave to her became the reason why she's gone now. How can i move in the next chapters in my life when i can't be with Minji to move together like we usually do?
the rain falls like it sympathize in whatever I'm going through, but no one can understand how painful it is to lose the most important person in your life, to lose her and never return again. i crawl at the side of the drawer and took the jar where i always see Minji put a paper and she tells me that i can read it once its the right time already.
now that she's gone reading this feel different. i open it as my tears began to fall again, ahh i should stop but i can't. i unfold the first paper and read her message.
to my Pham Hanni.
i will never ever let you go Pham!
if i had to fight against Soobin oppa i will do because i love you so much. please love me too.
-kim minji.
that is the first letter but i can feel my heart breaking, she's not going to marry me because shes gone.
i saw a folded paper with a stain of water like a tear had dropped on it and when i open it, i realized she wrote it on the day she discovered about me cheating on her.
To Pham Hanni.
I don't know what to say...
I'm just wondering why did you do that?, am i not enough?. i give you my everything right? why do you have to do this?.
I never thought that the woman i trust the most will be the woman who will break my heart and break that trust like it was nothing. you deceive me by your charms and you used me. how does it feel to see me leaving and finally letting you live your life with Soobin, i hope it makes you feel great.
i badly wanted to make you choose. but i remember what my father said to me.
‘If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really love the first one you wouldn't have fallen for the second "
that proves that you never did love me... you mean the world to me but you choose to do this...
pham Hanni, I see stranger in your eyes, where once i saw my soulmate.
Kim Minji.
those lines hit me hard word by word, every word has its own painful hit and it makes me bruise inside.
i place the jar down and hug the picture in my hand. i really thought that there is a chance for me and Minji... that we can grow old together, build a happy family together and love each other until our last breath but now here i am, left all alone, i have no one, nobody... she got her peace now but how about me?
i want to live in a peace with Kim Minji. run at sea shore barefoot, watch the sunrise and the sunset together. its impossible now that she's gone.
she's the only one i want right now, she's the one i love... "Love please come home and hug me... i miss that warm arms already... i miss you already please love, i don't want anything just you please... baby please.... " those words came out of my mind as i shut my eyes, i was startled when i see Haerin and Danielle standing at my door with a man behind them
"we're just here to get the things that my sister left" Danielle said coldly and let go of Haerin hands as i watch the man took the hoodie that i stole in Minji's closet, and the only thing that reminds me of Minji i broke down.
i ran to him and tried to stop him but i was late then they grab the only picture of Kim Minji that I have why are they so cruel?
"don't please! that's the only thing that i have now... please don't take it" i begged so Danielle look at Haerin then she hand me the picture frame and i hug it. im going insane slowly drifting out of my sane....
"fix yourself your tears can't bring her back anymore unnie" Haerin remind me and it makes me break myself more
"stop reminding me... please.... just leave Haerin... leave me... " i begged when they're done to took everything little thing that Minji owned they leave.
i look at the picture and ran my palm on it "comeback to me... i love you"
a/n: bad updates y'all:<