BEADS OF SWEAT DRENCHED YOUR SKIN, leaving trails on your temples as you mounted on the back of your horse.
"Y/N!" One of your Squad-mates called out as you reached out your arm, helping them aboard the back of the leather-saddle. You could hear their exerted breaths against the nape of your neck as your hands wrapped tighter around the reigns, your hips shifting back and forth in a rocking motion.
You used your free hand to cup around your lips, calling out: "Onward!" as the rest of your group swiftly followed your lead.
You could hear the distant stampede of a wild titan following your trail, before slowly growing more distant as its leg was caught successfully in the trap you had created.
You confidently smiled, glancing back to your Squad members with a nod that your plan had been a success.
The autumn air was claustrophobically humid, suffocating your lungs as your tongue searched for a breath of fresh air. Your lips had become dry and chapped; you pulled the latch of your drink from the bottle, pouring it into your mouth as you replenished your first.
Yet still, your lips remained parched.
In the time you'd spent back at Lord Wald's castle, the only thing on your mind had been missions; your capability towards your personal technique and skills were remarkable, so much so that you had become a house-hold name in the neighbouring towns and villages. Notoriety was never something you aimed for when becoming a Scout, although you surprisingly enjoyed having your achievements acknowledged on such a large scale.
You sighed, your neck arching back as the warm wind caressed your sensitive skin.
You could see the faint outline of the castle from up ahead, although, there was something that caught you off guard..
a carriage?
Your brow perked, tilting your head to the side curiously.
It wasn't often that strangers were allowed in the castle, and the Lord rarely had visitors.
You squinted your eyes to try and focus, leaning forward as the crimson curtains caught your eye: you noticed the roses carved into the wood of the carriage, meaning that it was owned by the Garrison Regiment within the walls.
Curious on the mysterious visit, you decided to speed up to see what was going on.
Upon your arrival, you were immediately greeted by the faint sound of arguing coming from a room upstairs. Now more curious than ever, you swiftly followed the aggressive yells: step-by-step tiptoeing up the marble stair case and down the luxurious corridor of the castle.
You traced your fingertips along the panels of the rich walls, using your ears to follow the conflict that was growing louder by the step.
"Dammit, Pixis!" You heard the Lords voice snap.
Your eyes shot open, your walking turning to a run as you realised who Lord Wald was arguing with.
"Last time I saw you, Pixis," He began to rant as you pressed your ear against the doorframe: "Was when you left me out here on my own! I don't plan on letting you take my best soldier - not after the things I've heard that are going on inside of the walls!"
Pixis scoffed as you heard the slap of his palm on a wooden table: "But it is not by my order - it is Queen Historia's!" Pixis argued back, fiercely defending himself as you grew more confused, "Are you truly trying to oppose the Queens wishes?"
"I-..!"
'They plan to take one of the seven back within the walls?' You cringed at the thought as the arguing carried on.
However, just as your thoughts began to turn for the worst, Pixis opened the door; you immediately fell through, clashing your knees on the wood with a groan of both pain and embarrassment that you had been caught listening.
Pixis softly smiled - he looked just the same as he had the last time you'd seen him. He had the same pleasant grin and the astonishingly golden iris' that surrounded the black of his eye.
He leant out his hand as you hesitantly took it, feeling him pull you up from the birch-floor of the room.
It was strange how unfamiliar it felt to see him, despite how little he'd changed.
He turned his shoulder, beginning to lace his arm around yours: he bowed his shoulders, "If you'll excuse us, my Lord." He calmly stated with a confident smirk.
He shut the door behind you both before offering you that same gentle smile as before.
"Y/N.." Pixis paused for a moment, before he began to lead you down the hallway, "It's been too long."
"Three and a half years." Your shoulders shrugged, "And it's Captain now."
"You're a Captain now?" His soft laugh broke the tension, "A captain of seven of the highest ranking Scouts, no less."
Pixis gestured out his arm, signalling for you to enter the empty meeting room at the end of the hallway: you followed his lead, sitting yourself down as you brushed off your black uniform.
"I bet your wondering what we were arguing about, hm?" He asked before you had chance to say a word: you nodded in response, hearing a soft sigh leave his lips, "I have a letter sent from Historia that I was asked specifically to deliver."
He paused, burying his hands deeply into his pockets to fish out a cream envelope; he slid it across the table, before folding his hands across his chest.
You picked it up with a raised brow, analysing the perfectly pretty lettering on the front of the mysterious envelope Pixis had given you. It had your name written in cursive across the cover in a deep, ebony ink.
You swallowed.
"It's me. Isn't it?"
Pixis stayed silent.
You furrowed your brows, "It's me." You repeated yourself, "It's me who's being sent back within the walls.. isn't it?"
He cleared his throat, "How much of my conversation did you hear?"
"Enough to know that one of 'The Seven' is being sent within the walls." Your voice grew sterner with a genuine distaste towards the thought of returning to the place you once called home, "Why me, Pixis? Why not anyone else in my Squad?"
"Hange asked specifically for you to return.. and Historia has given her consent for your contract with Lord Wald to be terminated."
You stubbornly glared at him as he waited for your response.
The silence was thick. It suffocated your lungs and throat as you struggled to speak: it filled your mouth with a bitter taste that made you feel as though you were about to vomit.
"What if I don't want to?" You finally broke silence.
He gave you a concerned stare, his silver brows creasing together.
"But what if I don't want to?" You repeated yourself, "This is my home now, Pixis! In the past three and a half years since I arrived here, I've made friends; I've become a Captain; people on the streets celebrate my name. I want to stay here."
He scoffed with disappointment in your attitude: "Last time we spoke you were crying because you wanted to remain a Scout in the walls."
"Don't ignore my question, Pixis!"
You watched as the older man's golden eyes close, his fingers delicately running down the lines of the wooden table you were both sat at.
"Why don't you want to go home?" His voice softly whispered as you felt your face crack, your teeth clamping together defensively, "Really. Talk to me, Y/N."
Even after all these years, Pixis was still a difficult person to lie to.
You shamefully looked away, feeling your cheeks begin to ache with a frown edging against your lips. You turned your face away from him, unsure on where to look to.
"Everything's changed now, Pixis.." You whispered under your breath as if it was a secret, "Everyone.. is gone."
You struggled to look him in the eye as your fingers dug further into your the fabric of your uniform, beginning to pinch your skin beneath the fabric. He leaned closer, placing his palm against your shoulder before you defensively shrugged him off.
Memories of the past flooded through your mind.
Your lips parted as you carried on with a pain beginning to form in your stomach: "Nanaba, Mike, Moblit.. Erwin. Everyone I love is dead, and I can't face the idea of going back to the walls if they're not going to be in them!"
"Everyone?" His brows pinched together for a moment, "Y/N. What about Levi?"
You felt your heart drop. You swallowed as your throat immediately tightened, feeling your posture instinctively straighten.
"Don't-.."
"Don't what, Y/N? He was the reason you wanted to stay, after all."
"Levi-.." You hesitated, biting down onto your tongue: "Levi doesn't mean anything to me.. I've had no contact with him since I left."
"Fine.." You could feel his eyes analysing your fixed expression, squinting with both confusion and curiosity. He shook his head with a quick sigh: "Hange. They miss you too: like hell. Things have changed, Y/N.. we all miss you."
You hadn't even realised that your fingernails were digging into your thighs. There were pale, crescent-shaped marks against your skin as you anxiously swallowed, feeling your spit slowly go down your throat.
"I'll tell Queen Historia that she awaits your response." Pixis slowly rose up, dusting off his uniformed trousers with a sniffle, "I'm sure you'll make the right decision."
You could practically taste his disappointment as his pupils locked onto yours, his cracked lips tainted with a soft and genuine frown. He used his wrinkled palm to push himself up from his wooden chair with a deep sigh.
He hung his jacket over his Broad shoulder, his long fingers latched onto the collar to hoist it above his back.
His fingertips latched around the door handle.
"Pixis!"
You blurted out his name without thinking, realising that you were now stood up and alert.
"Yes?"
"I-.." Your heart was racing like it never had before, "How is Levi? Did.. he seem excited for me to come home?"
Pixis offered you a faint and familiar smile, "If you come home, you'll find out for yourself." His smile twitched a little as he placed his hand against the doorframe of the room, he gave you a firm nod: "Do you want me to wait outside?"
Your eyes skimmed over the letter.
"I'll meet you outside after I pack my bags."