[irl!]
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TW: MENTIONS OF ANXIETY, DEPRESSION AND ALCOHOLIC PROBLEMS!
[irl!]
AFTER A WHILE, AFTER TALKING excitedly and animatedly with alahna, lily decides to bring out some alcohol bottles—these ones are elliot's, so she knows she has no reason to worry about seeming hella suspicious.
"soooo, if any of y'all wanna have some drinks, they're here," she says excitedly, pointing to the kitchen table where she just placed them on. "if you don't want to, that's okay too—do whatever you're comfortable with."
some of the friends give her confused looks.
"a—are you sure?" elliot asks, suddenly feeling guilty for having drinks in the house. especially with someone that knows exactly where they are—this is something she's confused on because she didn't expect her to know that, since she never told her.
lily immediately jumps in to reassure her and the rest of her friends. "oh, no. i'm fine, really," she says, trying to keep her face stoic as she notices the pointed looks she gets from most of the group, excluding the triplets and madi.
"seriously. it doesn't bother me, i promise."
after a few minutes of questioning whether she's telling the truth or not, elliot finally relents and steps forward with some of their friends and looks at one of the bottles.
then, her eyes glance at all of them, all at once, confusion filling her facial expression.
andy, stood beside her, turns to her with concern. "elle? what's wrong?"
elliot turns to face her, her eyes finding lily's suspicious-looking face. "i...don't know. i could've sworn there were a few other bottles, but they're not here with the others."
"maybe i should go check my stash..." she trails off suddenly, starting to walk towards the hall that leads to the other rooms.
lily suddenly steps in front of her path, stopping her from going further. "wait! you can't!"
"uh...why not?" elliot questions, both confused and suspicious of her.
everyone turns to watch her, just as confused. "uh, because...i already know where the stash is—i found it a long time ago, on accident—but, i grabbed all of the bottles that were there," she explains hastily. "i just don't think you should waste your time."
"okay...?" elliot confusedly says, turning back to andy and walking back over to her.
chris steps forward and walks over to elliot, whispering to her, "why is she being so weird about drinking?"
elliot opens her mouth to explain quietly, but somehow lily hears it and walks over to them, trying to ignore how intimidating he is to her.
"ah, she hasn't told you yet?"
chris shrugs his shoulders in confusion.
"well..." lily trails off, not sure how to explain without revealing that she's back to drinking. "well, every one of our other friends likes to think and say that i'm an raging alcoholic." she laughs like it's the most ridiculous thing that she's ever heard.
everyone watches her for a second, before ralfie stands up to walk over to her, being careful with his words, "because you are, lily."
lily scoffs, feeling too sober for this. in fact, she accidentally blurts this out, "yeah...i'm way too sober for this."
everyone gives her weird looks.
lily's eyes widen as she finally realizes what she just said—after all, drunken-said things are usually sober thoughts.
but, she plays it off. "n—not that i'm drinking again," she sighs when they give her pointed looks. "not anymore...okay?" she says, feeling slightly guilty for lying to them—she does hate lying to people.
but, it's how she copes and she doesn't want to worry them any more than she already has.
"i've done enough to burden you. i'm not going to add to that list."
"you're not—" nessa speaks up seriously, but lily shakes her head and laughs. "guys, i'm fine. let's just chill, alright?"
elliot steps forward for a moment. "actually, can we talk about what's been going on lately?"
andy and nessa glare at her, knowing that this wasn't a part of the plan—they wanted to get lily comfortable around them, before easing this conversation into a more casual one.
"what?" lily simply says, confused.
"look, i know you're going to be upset, but we're worried about you—ever since all this abuse from alex and you struggling with your mental health." nessa starts, deciding that she should go along with it.
"excuse me?" she asks incredulously, after noticing the looks of honest expressions on madi's, nick's, chris', and matt's faces—she knows that they know now.
"lily—" andy starts to say, but lily holds her hand up to shut her up. she does.
—"no. i can't believe you guys!"
her face turns angry when her big sister and said-sister's boyfriend steps closer to her. "lils—"
"you guys too? are you fucking kidding me right now?" she questions, tears prickling at her eyes, even though she hates it.
"first of all, you told them," she exclaims, pointing at the boys and madi, ignoring the startled looks on their faces. "people that i barely know? and now this whole thing to hang out was really just a pathetic plan to corner me with your fucked up questions?"
"c'mon, lily. we're just worried!" alahna tries to explain, but lily scoffs.
"i can't believe i actually thought you guys wanted to genuinely hang out with me..." she trails off, feeling incredibly stupid. "i am so pathetic."
"you're not! please—" elliot tries to say, but lily interrupts already, —"no. you wanna be there for me? then let me go clean up a mess in my room," she says, walking over to one of the kitchen counters, to grab a roll of paper towels.
she walks back into the living room to point at all of them. "and by the time i get back, you guys either better be gone or have let this go for tonight."
when a few of them nod regretfully, she turns around and points to the hallway. "i'll be right back." she quickly says with the roll of paper towels still in her hands.
nessa and sabrina nod along with everyone else, sharing concerned, but similar looks.
as lily leaves the room, everyone becomes extremely and more confused and worried.
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WHEN LILY FINALLY MAKES HER way into her open and messy bedroom, she falls to her knees as she tries to put her phone out of the way and tries and fails to pick up the mess—she just can't get her hands to stop shaking and can't clear her eyes of blurry tears, no matter how hard she tries.
with a little inner frustration, she walks over to her dresser.
she yanks open one of the top drawers and pulls out one of the missing alcohol bottles from under some t-shirts.
with another sigh, she ignores the inner voice in her head that tries to tell her to stop, and opens and pulls off the lid, before putting the top of the bottle to her lips and begins to chug it, trying to ignore the burning in her throat.
she can already feel herself becoming a lightweight, the drink already taking effect as she shuts the cap on the top of the almost empty bottle.
after a while, she forgets what she's doing, just staring at the bottle numbly.
she doesn't even hear someone walking down the creaky hallway, too lost in her own head.
"what the fuck?" a raspy voice says suddenly, causing her to snap her body around in shock, feeling caught, red-handed.
she's so surprised that she accidentally drops the bottle, causing it to shatter and the strong liquid spills onto the floor.
she gasps in shock, before her eyes finds the boy's own nervously.
"what are you doing? i thought you weren't drinking and can't." he says, jaw clenched as he can't help but feel annoyed at the girl's actions, even if they barely know one another.
lily's eyes darken, her own jaw clenching as she takes in a deep breath as she says the person's name, now realizing and processing who it is that caught her, "chris."
they stare at each other, mirroring the others actions.
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A/N: damn, guys...things are going to get real and lily will have to realize what she's done soon! but don't fret, there's more drama to happen in the next few chapters! i had to end the chapter on that cliffhanger though, since i have to work tomorrow early in the morning and it's almost one a.m., so i NEED to go to sleep, otherwise i won't stop writing LMAO. i hope this was enjoyable though because i'm SO thrilled about this fic and i have SO MANY tropes planned and storylines figured out now.
—hannah <3