[texts, social media, texts!]
—————
TW: MENTIONS OF ABUSE, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND BPD!
[texts!]
group chat — idiots in charge
acting girl — elle
mattitude — matt
young goof — chris
prideful one — nick
sunshine — andy
mental girl — ness
moon man — ralf
fake dilf — jake
big quinn — alls
miss popular — mads
independent one — alahna
mental girl #2 — sab
prideful one
so are we doing this or not?
mattitude
jeez nick, i can sense the attitude through my screen
prideful one
well what am i SUPPOSED to say???
young goof
u guys are idiots
acting girl
sorry i'm late, but yes we're doing it
now when she's here be careful w what u say bc i don't want her to feel like we're ganging up on her.
young goof
then maybe i shouldn't talk then
mattitude
🤦🏻
acting girl has added lily to the chat!
lily
oh lord
what did i do to deserve this 😐
acting girl
no need to be so dramatic lily
prideful one has changed lily to little quinn!
little quinn
okay, wow.
that is SO disrespectful on so many levels??
young goof
well i mean it's pretty simple if u ask me
u ARE alli's younger sister so i think it suits u
little quinn
EXCUSE ME.
acting girl
chris look what u just started
little quinn
okay love u elle but this is a conversation between me and chris
so everyone tune out for a second so i can make this clear 🤫
prideful one
u really should've just stayed quiet
little quinn
nick u aren't out of this either
especially since UR the one that named me it so 🙄
now, chris the point is i MAY be my sister's younger sister
but y'all (most of u anyways) always treat me like a kid
which i am NOT
i am nineteen years old and she's only like a few years older
big quinn
lily why does it matter
little quinn
this has nothing to do w u 🤫
big quinn
okay then
mattitude
i feel like we all got off on the wrong foot
little quinn
it'll all be fine if i hear an apology from both nick and chris 🤷🏻♀️
prideful one
my name in this gc is accurate
so don't expect ANY apology
also, i was only stating facts so
little quinn
wow okay, i see how it is nicolas 😤
prideful one
how DARE u use my full name 😒
young goof
okay yeah lily i think u just started a war
little quinn
maybe nick shouldn't piss me off then 😀
miss popular
lily being added to this gc has only made this more interesting
little quinn
well thank u, i try
moon man
so now that ur here, can i ask when we're planning our next book hang out???
young goof
we're not actually going to talk about books now, are we?
little quinn
chris stfu, my bestie is trying to have an IMPORTANT conversation w me
prideful one
wow i like her
young goof
ur just saying that bc she's being mean to me
prideful one
so????
little quinn
as interesting as this has been, i have important things to discuss w ralf so i will talk to y'all later
acting girl
wait u didn't even explain anything or let us ask how u are
little quinn
elliot, girl, i am GOOD. i promise!!
mental girl
u guys do know she's lying right?
mental girl #2
yea, that much is pretty obvious
like the fact that she called elle elliot??
young goof
what does that have to do w anything??
mental girl
she only calls her elliot if she's upset or lying or if it's serious enough
young goof
ohhhh
independent one
yea, she's doing a classic lily thing
but i guess the only good thing is that she's not ghosting us
that's a really common thing that she does
especially when she's going through shit
sunshine
i'll try to talk to her
fake dilf
yea, idk if that's a good idea
she may think that we're smothering her
big quinn
jake and i will talk to her
acting girl
suit urself i guess
—————
[texts!]
the apple of my moon — ralf
famous girl — lily
famous girl
we really need to find me a different name
bc i am NOT famous 😐
and i'm betting u still have famous girl as my name
the apple of my moon
yea, let's say this to ur many MANY fans
then we can have this conversation again
but yes ur correct about that still being ur name
famous girl
how many times do i have to tell u that i'm not famous.
i'm not elliot 😐 i'm not a famous actress and celebrity
the apple of my moon
says u aka miss popular youtuber
famous girl
THAT DOESNT MEAN IM FAMOUS 😐😐
—————
[social media!]
lilquinn has posted!
liked by ellejames_, nessabarrett, nicolassturniolo and 55,459 others!
lilquinn i desperately need someone to tell @ralfiemoon that i'm not famous 😐 also this is my honest reaction to him calling me a famous girl 🤨
view all comments!
user imagine being a well-known youtuber but still thinking ur not famous???
liked by ralfiemoon!
ellejames_ but like...he's right
↳ lilquinn but he's NOT ur supposed to be on my side i'm gonna kms now.
↳ ellejames_ that better be a joke.
↳ lilquinn i swear, y'all are overreacting!! im good okay?
↳ ellejames_ i wish i could believe that.
user elle's comments and lily's replies?? is something else going on??
↳lilquinn everything's good i promise. elliot and i are just kidding around!!
↳ user she never calls elle elliot unless shit is serious??
lilquinn has turned off her comments on this post!
—————
[texts!]
the apple of my moon — ralf
famous girl — lily
the apple of my moon
u wanna explain the comments between u and elle?
and u turning off ur comments?
famous girl
i just didn't wanna risk any hate comments.
so i turned them off.
big deal? no not really.
the apple of my moon
are u sure that's it?
famous girl
yes, i swear.
—————
[texts!]
moon man (ralf) has added 12 others to group chat!
moon man has titled group chat as 'lily's protectors squad'!
acting girl — elle
mattitude — matt
young goof — chris
prideful one — nick
sunshine — andy
mental girl — ness
moon man — ralf
fake dilf — jake
big quinn — alls
miss popular — mads
independent one — alahna
mental girl #2 — sab
moon man
guys we need to talk about lily.
acting girl
about her comments? yeah i think so too
mental girl
guys maybe we should be more careful about this
mental girl #2
yea, i agree.
this is pretty serious and it's clear that she's spiraling.
prideful one
what do u mean?
acting girl
ralf i don't think this is our story to tell
mattitude
what are u guys talking about?
miss popular
yea, fr i'm straight up so confused rn
young goof
i don't get what the big deal is
isn't this something she normally does?
moon man
yes it is.
but u don't get how serious it is
fake dilf
i don't think we should be sharing this information
big quinn
yea, i agree
look we trust u guys, but elle and lily literally just had sm drama
all bc of alex AND bc elle almost blabbed ab some personal stuff
independent one
yea, u guys know i trust u bc ur some of my best friends
but, this isn't our story tell
sunshine
maybe we should tho?
acting girl
andy are u insane???
if she found out we told them ab ANY of this, she'd HATE us.
she will NEVER forgive us for that.
sunshine
elle that's exactly my POINT.
she's spiraling.
and what do u DO when someone u love is struggling?
u have to do things u don't want to.
and i love her sm, she's done sm for me and that's the point.
moon man
what are u trying to say?
acting girl
yea, WHAT are u trying to say?
sunshine
she's hurting.
as much as she knows we're here for her, we all know the truth.
before she met us, she was surrounded by so many toxic people
even the shit w her parents got bad and alls had to get her out.
mental girl
i agree.
she's so used to being on her own and the way people treated her
bc of that she probably can't get out of her head
and she's probably isolating herself again
and when she does that she gets negative
and we all know she punishes herself when she does that.
acting girl
i just don't know how we can approach this
mattitude
so is she just pretending to be fine?
bc i can tell u myself that's not going to last
she's going to end up exploding
acting girl
yea, that's why she didn't want to talk to me last week
after all that shit that alex pulled
she clearly couldn't talk to me
at least w out snapping at me
mental girl
yea, ik a lot about it bc i have experience too
and that constant saying of how hurt people hurt people?
ik earlier on when i was trying to heal and FAILING that was hard
that thought was in my head a lot
so ik she must be scared of hurting anyone so she'd rather just hurt herself
moon man
so then we're going to explain it then?
acting girl
i actually can't believe i'm saying this
but yes
big quinn
are we sure?
i mean if ur all sure i'll go along w it
bc we know that we all just want the best for her
fake dilf
yea, if everyone that knows is good w it, i support it as well
sunshine
i brought it up so i say yes
moon man
and i was all for it from the beginning
besides, i'm really worried about lily
independent one
also, if the triplets and madi are going to be around lily and wanna be friends, i think they deserve to know
mental girl
u know i agree
if sab and my other friends didn't help me when they did, i would still be going through what she is
mental girl #2
yes, i agree too
she needs us rn, even if she's convincing herself that she doesn't
acting girl
so it's agreed then?
moon man
it's too late to back out now
so let's do this
acting girl
ness, since u have the same experience, do u want to explain?
mental girl
yea, ofc
i understand it the most too
acting girl
quick thing before we get into this
mental girl
what is it?
acting girl
this is really for the triplets and madi
but i hope that u know what ur about to learn ab is fr
it's no joke and i would hate for u to treat her any differently
especially after u know everything
mattitude
yea no problem
miss popular
no i won't treat her differently either
prideful one
this seems serious so no i agree
none of us are to treat her differently
young goof
it's agreed
after all, i wouldn't want any of u to treat me differently
especially w the stuff we all go through
moon man
okay, nessa how ab u explain the mental health side of it
and elle can explain the stuff w alex since she's been there through it all
mental girl
okay
acting girl
yea, it sounds good
mental girl
okay, so as most of u know and a lot of my fans know
i have bpd and that's what lily has too.
for those of u that don't know, it stands for borderline personality disorder
it's kind of similar to bipolar disorder
but it's basically a mental disorder that someone gets from being traumatized or abused from someone
mental girl #2
yea, ik she doesn't talk ab it a lot
acting girl
yea, that's why she's in therapy bc it's not just one symptom.
ness can explain it better but
mental girl
okay, so
i've had it for years so i've had time to understand it and what not
but for lily? she just found out ab it not long ago and it's been really hard for her to accept it
but all of those other mental illnesses she has? like she SORT of confirmed in her video recently
like the ed and depression and anxiety and the other stuff like the abandonment issues and trust issues and family issues and commitment issues in general, it's ALL a part of bpd
bc in another way to word it, not only is it a mental disorder that starts from trauma and abuse from someone u love, it's also a lot of dependency on others even if u don't want it (a lot like lily bc she struggles w codependency and doesn't want to be dependent on anyone but herself) but it's also a bad amount of multiplied fear and overthinking of being left and abandoned.
acting girl
yea, i think u just ab described it perfectly.
mental girl
oh and also another thing
like bipolar disorder, the emotions and mood swings
it's all very easy to get upset and ofc it's manageable
but for her, she didn't know for a long time
and i remember her telling me that finding out ab it both gave her the answers she needed but that it also ruined her life for the worst
bc she was on her way to healing
or well, at least she was trying
bc she's been struggling w her depression for years from all the shit she went through
so having all of this happen? it's been really hard on her
acting girl
yea and another thing i should say that goes along w that
we all know that w mental disorders like that where u can't really control it all the time, it has that normalized stigma that people associated w it as 'crazy' and that's why she's going to be mad ab u guys knowing
mattitude
u mean she's going to think that all we see her as is her mental illnesses rather than who she really is?
mental girl #2
yeah and i get it
i mean i can't say that i understand it like as having gone through it or anything but i understand from a certain perspective of feeling that way
obviously i can't say that i COMPLETELY understand but i do a little
young goof
and what ab this stuff w alex? her ex?
prideful one
yea i'm actually curious ab that
miss popular
that day we met her, she seemed really, truly terrified when he was brought up
so i'm curious as well
big quinn
elle u good to explain this one?
acting girl
yea. sure.
i can't guarantee that i won't get mad talking ab it
bc we all know how much i despise him
and also how much i feel protective over lily
fake dilf
well for everyone that DOES know, excluding the triplets and madi, i think we can all agree that we all feel that same thing ab him and her
acting girl
okay here it goes i guess
so, alex is a long time ex of hers
young goof
yea THAT much we figured
prideful one
CHRISTOPHER stop
mattitude
both of y'all stfu so elle can explain
miss popular
yea i agree
so, elle u were saying?
acting girl
long story short, not only is he a shitty person, he's also been an even worse bf to lily.
and ofc bc of the toxic environment of past relationships whether that was friendships or romantic relationships and INCLUDING the toxic relationship w her parents which alli can confirm, lily didn't see his true colors from the start.
fake dilf
he's been a piece of shit from the beginning
and everyone other than us sees him as 'charismatic' and 'charming' so he EASILY was able to not only gaslight the shit out of lily but he was also somehow able to cast a bad light on her.
independent one
yep it's why she has so many haters
a lot of them are loyal alex supporters
mental girl
it makes my blood actually boil bc of what he's done to her
mattitude
so what i'm getting out of this
and correct me if i'm wrong
but what i'm hearing is that he was abusive towards her?
acting girl
the majority yeah
sunshine
and it took her a LONG time to tell us
the only people that had known before bc it happened in front of them most of the time was elle, jake and alli
mental girl
yea, i found out later on bc it was clear that it was more than just her parents' abuse and trauma they put her through that brought on the bpd
i mean, sure the issues she has w her parents def caused her to have a lot of issues
but alex's abuse DEF made it sm worse
moon man
yea, and it sucked when i found out
we've always had a quirky and comedic duo friendship
i found out when she showed up to my house one night
and she looked miserable
like SO miserable
mental girl #2
and then that night the rest of us found out bc we all had been there that night.
and she was so scared but elle and alli and jake helped her explain it.
but she had come over that night w her face FILLED w bruises and she was bleeding and could barely walk
prideful one
WHAT.
miss popular
oh my god
mattitude
that must've been so hard for her tho
acting girl
yea. not only did he beat her, but it was bc she had found out he was cheating on her behind her back.
and ik that sounds cliche but it killed her
and bc of all of this, THAT'S why she won't get involved w ANYONE.
anytime someone shows interest, she ghosts them and pushes them away
even when she feels something for them.
independent one
he really ruined her
which is why it makes me so mad to see all the hate she's getting
moon man
yea and ik she was lying to me earlier when we were texting bc after she turned off her comments i asked what it was ab
and she pretended she was fine and it was bc of the haters
which that's probs true but ik it's more than that
young goof
i say we find this asshole and kick his ass.
prideful one
WHAT THE FUCK CHRIS.
young goof
WHAT.
mattitude
when have u ever been one to beat someone up????
miss popular
yea fr chris for as long as i've known u u have never said shit like that.
young goof
IM JUST SAYING.
moon man
okay, ignoring the yelling at chris happening rn, what do we do?
acting girl
we need to confront her
sunshine
but how?
big quinn
well, knowing her, even if she doesn't have any energy to do it
i say one of us calls to hang out at the apartment
miss popular
but won't she back out on that and refuse?
mental girl
oh no she won't
acting girl
she'll be too scared to show how scared she is to admit anything
even if she doesn't want to, she'll agree to it and put on her best show to make everyone think she's fine
young goof
so what?
we're just supposed to corner her ab it?
prideful one
yea i don't think that's going to end well
mattitude
yea and also when she finds out u guys told us, that's probs only going to make everything worse
acting girl
look, andy was right.
she may hate us for it, but at least she'll know that we care
mental girl
it's worth a try.
big quinn
let's do it then.
i'll call her and get it figured out
moon man
well, it's going to probs end badly one way or another
so there's no backing out
miss popular
well ik the boys will agree when i say this
mostly matt and nick
but we all care and wanna be friends w her
so we're in
—————
A/N: yall here we go!! also i know chris seems pretty protective of lily already but i promise that's not it (not yet, at least) the point of why he's acting like that is bc i like to think that if chris found out that that was happening to someone he's friends w or just knows of, he'd lose his shit. anyways, the next chapter is where the tea and drama really happens <3. also, yes, i wrote lily to have bpd bc i have bpd and i feel like it's NEVER talked about and it's a really important topic so yeah.
—hannah <3