Hello everyone! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post but I'm recovering from autistic burnout and trying to be gentle with myself. But I'm on summer break and I have a lot of free time to write now, so expect another chapter late June/ early July. Thank you to everyone for all of the love and support on this fic I really appreciate it. Votes are always great but comments are amazing and I love reading them.
Warnings: Kind of gore, swearing. Mentions of past abuse, violence, sa, murder, and cannibalism. Stalking, hurt/comfort, and let me know if I missed something
Hannibal has noticed your declining mental state over the past few days. You never told him about what happened with Ghostface. You haven't told anyone anything yet, but when Hannibal suggested a walk in the woods you jumped on the opportunity. To keep the walk quieter you went with Jason and Carrie. You waited until you were deeper in the woods to talk to Carrie while Jason was nowhere to be seen.
"Can I tell you something? And when I tell you this I don't want you to tell anyone else about this alright?" You give her a serious look and she nods, "When I went out to the store a while ago I ran into the Ghostface killer. He found my number and he's been calling me ever since. It's been really bothering me and I just can't handle all of this anxiety." You two stay silent for a moment as sticks break and crunch under your walking feet.
"Well we should tell someone about this. Not the police but someone at home. If we tell Hannibal he can-"
"I don't want to tell anyone else about this. The last time I opened up about my life and what happened to me I killed my ex boyfriend."
"He deserved it," Carrie says softly, "Everyone agrees that he deserved it. I know the lord smiled down on you when you finally ended him." You look over at her while she keeps her eyes on the ground. You've noticed that about Carrie, she doesn't like eye contact.
"Well he deserves to be in pain. I'm just trying to move on from him and heal from all of that but it's so hard when I have a different douchebag calling me every night and taunting me about everything. He's been watching me too. Whenever he calls he's mentioned something I've done that day," You hear a loud snap in the distance. You and Carrie pause and turn around. A few moments later Jason emerges onto the path with logs of firewood in his arms, "Do you need help carrying that Jason?" You ask. He shakes his head and walks past you and Carrie.
"How about this. Next time he calls we get Herbert to trace the calls location. He's a smart science guy and I'm sure he'll be able to help. We can say that it's some random guy who's been bothering you." Carrie says as the two of you continue your walk. You take a deep breath and shrug your shoulders.
"I guess that will work. I just need some time to think about this. The last thing I want is another murder on my hands," You look around the woods before you spot a strange trail of flowers laying on a heavily wooded path. You tap Carrie's shoulder and she looks over too. The flowers are fresh and go on for however long the other path is. You hold onto Carrie's arm and look over at her, "Let's hope it's some couples anniversary and get out of here." She nods and you two both make your way back to the house. But you make a mental note to bring back Jason or Michael to check it out.
When you're in the back yard you see Jason stacking the firewood and Norman watering the garden. You walk into the house and head for the kitchen. Carrie walks over to the stairs. You enter the kitchen and find it empty surprisingly, considering that Hannibal cooks for hours every day. You grab a glass and fill it with water and drink it down quickly. You hear a knock at the door and you freeze. You don't see anyone else around so you put on your best 'I'm not living with a bunch of murders' face and open it.
When you open the door no one is there. You look at the ground and find a heart shaped candy box, like on you'd see on valentines day. You bend down and pick it up. There's a small note on the top of the box. You flip it open and read it.
'Happy birthday to the one that I adore I got you something special'
You slowly open the box and find a big pink human heart. You make a disgusted sound and quickly drop the box on the ground. You take a few steps back as you try to process what's going on. You know it has to be Ghostface. But who's heart is it? You take a deep breath and regain your composure somewhat. You walk back over to the box and find the heart laying on the porch ground. You find another note taped to the inside of the lid of the box. You pick up the note and open it.
'I guess his heart wasn't black, but it is cold and dead'
You take a step back and look at the heart again. It's not covered in blood and it looks fresh, almost like someone ripped it out of a body, washed off the blood and put it directly here. Ghostface doesn't even have to say his name, you know exactly where he got this heart. You're so deep in thought you only notice Herbert is standing behind you when he puts a hand on your shoulder. You jump and turn around to look at him.
You two stand there for a moment just looking at each other in silence. You notice Herbert glancing at the heart on the ground.
"I have a lot to explain and I think we should do something about this before anyone else finds out. Can we talk in your room?" You feel yourself starting to shake as Herbert looks from you to the heart.
"Grab the box and meet me in the basement. Lucky for you Hannibal keeps latex gloves in the kitchen." He replies in his usual monotone voice.
"Is it um. Is it his heart?" You don't even have to say his name for anyone here to know who you're talking about. Looking back over at the heart you remember you never quite found out just what happened to the body. You look back to the doorway and Herbert is gone. You pick up the box and put the note inside. Herbert soon returns wearing gloves and he picks up the heart.
You two wordlessly walk downstairs and into his room. It's a mostly tidy space with two large work tables full of medical and chemistry equipment. A mini fridge sits near both of them. You set the box on one of the tables and Herbert sets the heart on a petri dish.
"I can assure you that this isn't actually a human heart, it's a pig's heart. They look similar and have been used in heart transplants before but it's not a human heart. His body was also mostly donated to a local farm couple who found use for 'meat scraps'. Even if his heart was still intact it wouldn't look so fresh after all of this time. In fact this pig must have been slaughtered within 24 hours and kept on ice until it was brought here." You nod and run a hand over your face.
"What do you mean his body was mostly donated?" Herber puts on his lab coat and picks up the heart.
"I have some more unethical experiments I perform that require freshly deceased specimens. Your, and I'm using Normans words here, scum sucking miserable joke of a life ex boyfriend, just so happened to be a perfect specimen," He replies, looking over the heart, "Now would you care to explain how a pig heart in a candy box showed up on our doorstep?"
"Well awhile ago I ran into the Ghostface killer and he's found my number somehow and he's been stalking and harassing me and I'm just so scared. I have only told you and Carrie and I'm begging you to not tell anyone else about this." You plead with him, taking a seat in a nearby chair. Herbert stays silent as he pulls out a styrofoam container and fills it with something before adding the heart inside.
"Well I thought you'd enjoy having a serial killer stalking you considering you live with eleven murders. Also I saw the type of romance books you kept in your luggage when you first came here. I never understood why someone would enjoy reading a romance about a main character being kidnapped by a large masked man or monster-" You scoff loudly and cut him off, "I'm just saying that maybe you're not as afraid of Ghostface as you think you are. Maybe you're just waiting for him to come and give you that dark romance treatment."
"This is a different situation! When I read those books I understood that it was fictional and I would never actually fall in love with someone who kidnapped me! I'm attracted to that because it's not real! I know some demon monster isn't going to actually kidnap me and fall in love with me which makes it fun to fantasize about! And I never expected to be living with a bunch of murderers! So just because I enjoy some dark romance doesn't mean I actually want to be stalked! And just because I endured his abuse for years doesn't mean I liked it!" You've rarely raised your voice at someone since you've been with River. You yelled at him in anger once, and you were met with half an hour of verbal degradation and abuse. Then of course you had to make it up to him in the only way he gave you real attention. You don't want to think about the times you screamed and cried for him to love you and what he made you do to make it up to him.
But Herbert is just looking back at you with a small frown on his face. He's set the heart back in the petri dish and has taken off his gloves.
"I'm a doctor. Not a psychiatrist like Hannibal but a medical doctor. I know enough about psychology to know this. You need therapy. You snapped when you killed your ex boyfriend, and you're going to snap again if you don't talk to someone about this. I promise not to tell anyone what's going on, if you go back upstairs and talk to Hannibal." You're fighting back tears as Herbert says this to you. Something in his tone sounds different, it's hard to tell if it's empathy or annoyance. But regardless you stand up and leave his room.
You leave his room and find Thomas standing near the stairs. He must have heard your yelling. Looking at him you see something in his eyes. He can't speak but you can tell he's trying to say something. You've been in this situation before. You were leaving the house after you 'apologized' to River and he left behind bruises on your neck and burns on your arms. When you were walking to the bus station you saw a neighbor. He saw you standing outside in a tank top and pajama pants in January and he just went back inside.
But when Thomas heard you yelling he waited outside, silently asking you if everything was ok. Just like Herbert said you feel something crack inside of you and you walk over to Thomas, wrap your arms around his torso and you begin to sob. You must have zoned out while sobbing because when you calm down you notice Hannibal and Herbert standing around you now. You feel Thomas's arms around your body too.
"Can I talk with you Hannibal?" You ask, wiping away tears from your red eyes.
"Of course. Let's go upstairs." He takes you from Thomas's arms and walks with you upstairs and into his bedroom. You take a seat at his desk and take a deep breath.
"I think I need to go to therapy. I used to go before I met him, but he made me stop. He said he didn't want me keeping secrets from him. I had my phone tracked by him whenever I left the house. He never let me anywhere near his phone though."
"I want you to know that you can tell me as much or as little as you want to about what he did to you. I'm here to help you." Hannibal says. You and Hannibal talk for an hour about what he did to you. You started to cry again but he was there to pat your shoulder and help you through the hard memories.
"But I do have a question. I saw the books you brought with you when we first found you. Why would you want to read those if you're so troubled by what he did to you." Hannibal asks you. It takes you a moment to think about this.
"He never loved me. If someone abuses you they never loved you. But when a hero loves you, they'd still sacrifice you to save the world. But when a villain loves you, they'd sacrifice the world to keep you. I just wanted to feel like I was worthy of being so desired that someone would do anything to keep me." Hannibal listens intently and pulls you into a hug.
"I'd sacrifice this world and countless others, just to keep you here forever. I know who else would do that for you too. You're loved here, and you're wanted here, even if some of us don't really show it." Hannibal whispers in your ear before pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. You feel yourself starting to cry all over again.
Later that night you're in bed. After eating dinner you went into your room and just layed in bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to process your emotions. Your door slowly opens and you sit up. Turning on your bedside lamp you find a fluffy white cat walking into your room.
"Oh kitty, what are you doing here? It's not a good idea to be here with Michael around," You say, getting up off your bed. You shut your bedroom door and pick up the cat. It doesn't have a collar but it's too well groomed to be a stray cat, "We should get you home kitty, I know your owner is missing you." You put the cat back down and your door opens again, this time Billy walks in before laying down on the ground and the cat walks over to him.
"Claude is Billy's kitty. Billy loves Claude." He says as Claude sits next to Billy and starts to groom himself. You smile and sit back down on your bed.
"How long have you had Claude?" You ask.
"Billy has had him for a few years. Claude is a good kitty and Billy loves his kitty. Does pretty piggy like cats?" You raise an eyebrow at his question when the full body mirror mounted on your wall moves to the side and Brahms emerges from it. You quickly flash from fear, to relief, to anger, then fear again.
"Brahms, how long have you been hiding behind my mirror?" You've been told Brahms lives in the walls. Will has explained how Brahms moves throughout the walls and has his own room, you've just never seen him actually emerge in your room before.
"I promise this is the first time I've been through here since you came. I've been on good behavior, I promise," His high pitched child's voice makes you shiver, "And Billy means you when he says pretty piggy. It's what he calls people." You take a deep breath and nod.
"Well don't surprise me like this again Brahms, and yes Billy, I do like cats." A smile spread on your face as Claude walks over and jumps up on your bed. He moves into your lap and curls up. You run a hand gently over his back while Billy and Brahms talk.
"I've heard you like to read Y/N. I have books you can read if you'd like." Brahms says, taking a seat at your desk while Billy continues to lay on the floor.
"That's very kind of you. I'd love to see the books you have Brahms." Your smile fades as you feel your phone ring. You pick it up and put it to your ear.
"You never followed my little trail for you dollface, so I had to give you your gift another way."
This chapters song is "Heart shaped box" By Nirvana