NEW YORK CITY
FEBRUARY 2023
The city lights of New York danced below as Luca and Sofía made their way home from a night out with Luca's friends. The air was crisp and cool, a gentle breeze rustling through the streets as they walked hand in hand, their laughter mingling with the sounds of the bustling city. The evening had been filled with good food, lively conversation, and plenty of drinks, but now as they made their way back to their apartment, Sofía could feel that now constant heavy silence starting to form between them.
On the other hand, Luca couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over him. The silence more comfortable than heavy for him, he had spent the night showing off his beautiful girlfriend to all his friends and castmates, his arms never unwrapping from around her the whole time they were out. He couldn't imagine a better way to spend an evening than with Sofía by his side.
"Tonight was really fun," Luca said, breaking the silence.
Sofía smiled up at him, her eyes sparkling in the soft glow of the streetlights. "Yeah, it was," she agreed, her voice filled with faux warmth that she hoped the Italian couldn't pick up on. "Your new castmates are really nice, it's a shame I've only just gotten to meet them."
Luca felt a surge of happiness swell in his chest at Sofías words. He squeezed her hand gently, relishing the feeling of her warmth against his skin. "I'm glad we're okay now, and that you finally talked to me." he said, his voice soft with affection. "I never want you to feel that way with me again."
Sofía couldn't help the few tears that rushed to her eyes, rapid blinks coming up to cover hide them away, "It isn't your fault."
If only he knew how hard those words were to speak.
They walked on for a few moments, the sounds of the city fading into the background as they lost themselves in each other's company. The night air was cool against their skin, the soft breeze ruffling their hair as they strolled through the city streets. As they reached the quiet residential neighborhood where Sofías apartment was located, Luca couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment settle over him. He loved these late-night walks with Sofía, the quiet intimacy of their conversations as they made their way home together.
"You know, I'm really glad we met." Luca said suddenly, breaking the silence once again.
Sofía glanced up at him, her eyes soft. "Me too." she replied, her throat closing up as the guilt starts crawling its way up from her stomach yet again.
How much longer could she keep this up for?
Luca felt his heart swell with love for the woman beside him. He pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as they continued on their way. "I love you, Sof." he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.
Sofía leaned into Luca's embrace, her heart racing in her chest. Whether it was due to anxiousness or to genuine affection, she wasn't sure anymore. "I love you too." she whispered back, her words a promise of a future she doesn't know if she can give him anymore.
But those four words, they weren't a lie. She did love Luca. She loved his kindness, his compassion, and his unwavering support. She loved the way he always put her first, how he's never late and never once missed a date.
But as they walked together, Sofía couldn't shake the feeling of doubt that gnawed at her insides, the truth hiding about her lingering feelings for Carlos. And with each step they took, the weight of it all grew heavier, threatening to crush her beneath its burden.
As they reached her building and stepped into the elevator, Sofía couldn't help but steal a glance at Luca, her heart turning heavy as lead with guilt. He looked handsome as ever, his dark hair tousled and his eyes sparkling with laughter, but she couldn't shake that horrible feeling no matter what she did.
She missed those months ago when all she could think about was him, when all she felt when se looked at him was adoration, the butterflies going wild in her stomach. When her thoughts weren't all plagued by images of another man.
The elevator ride was quiet, the only sound the soft hum of the machinery as it carried them upwards towards her apartment. Sofías mind raced with thoughts and worries, her stomach twisting into knots with each passing second.
As the elevator doors slid open and they stepped out into the hallway, Luca turned to Sofía with a smile, his hand reaching out to brush a strand of hair from her face. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft with concern.
Lately it felt like that was all anybody ever asked her anymore. Was it always that obvious that she was driving herself crazy? So obvious how ashamed and guilty she feels at how she's treating the man she's supposed to love, the man she calls her boyfriend?
Sofía forced a smile, her heart aching at the sight of his worry. "I'm fine," she replied with a tight smile, her voice barely above a whisper. "Just tired and ready for bed, I guess."
As they stepped into the cozy warmth of Sofías apartment, Luca couldn't shake the feeling of unease that settled over him. Had he said something wrong again? He glanced at his girlfriend, his brow furrowing with concern as he took in her tired expression and the distant look in her eyes.
His eyes follow her as she enters the apartment, seemingly fine all of a sudden, though he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. He watched as Sofía busied herself in the kitchen, filling the kettle and preparing to make a cup of tea. The silence between them felt heavy, weighted down by some sudden unspoken tension that lingered in the air.
As Sofía moved about the kitchen, Luca couldn't help but notice the slight distance that had begun to form between them. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but it was there nonetheless—a barrier that seemed to grow larger with each passing moment. And here he was thinking they had had a great evening out together.
"Is everything okay, Sofía?" Luca asked, his voice gentle as he wraps his arms around her from behind and resting his chin on her shoulder, the concern evident in his eyes.
Sofía goes stiff in his hold, the spoon she was using to stir her tea clattering onto the marble countertop as she spins around to face him. "Will you please stop asking me that? I am so sick and tired of everyone asking if I'm okay!" Between him, Isla and Claudia, she wasn't sure how often she could keep spitting out these lies.
Lucas eyes widen at her outburst, his hands pulling away from her as she huffs and rubs frustrated hands down her face. "The problem isn't us asking you, Sof, it's you thinking that your behavior lately has been normal. You haven't been yourself lately and I'm worried. Why won't tell me what's wrong?"
"I just...I have a lot on my mind lately, okay? And I really don't want to talk about it, so please. Please just let it go."
Luca reached out to take her hand, his touch warm and reassuring. "You don't have to keep everything bottled up, you know," he said softly. "I'm here for you, always."
Sofia only nods, though she couldn't bring herself to meet Luca's gaze.
"I like to think I know you even better than I know the back of my hand, you know. Are you sure you don't want to talk about this?" Luca asked once again, his voice filled with worry as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
Sofía buried her face in Luca's chest, the tears she had been holding back finally spilling over. "I'm sorry, Luca," she whispered, her voice choked with emotion. "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry."
Luca held her close, his heart breaking for the pain she was going through. He didn't even know why she apologising, couldn't recall a single thing that had happened where she should be apologising to him. Yet he wanted nothing more than to take away her suffering, to ease the burden that weighed so heavily on her shoulders. If only he knew the truth behind her tears, the true meaning behind this seemingly sudden apology.
"It's okay, love," Luca whispered, his voice soft and comforting as he held Sofía in his arms, pressing his lips to the top of her head. "We'll get through this together, I promise."
Part of her wanted to deny it, to tell him to be mad at her, scream at her and never speak to her again. But another part of her, the part that still loved Luca so much, couldn't bear to see him in pain. So she clung to him, seeking solace in his embrace, knowing that she was about to break his heart in ways she never thought possible.
As they settled into their nightly routine, the distance between them seemed to grow wider, a chasm that Sofía feared she would never be able to bridge; no matter how much she promised herself that she would and could. She moved mechanically through the motions, her mind elsewhere as she tried to push aside the guilt and turmoil that consumed her.
But despite her efforts to conceal her inner turmoil, Luca couldn't help but notice all the subtle shifts in Sofías behavior. He watched her with concern, his heart aching at the sight of her struggling to hold herself together. But this time he keeps his mouth shut, he didn't want to risk upsetting her any further than she already was.
Instead, he pulls the duvet over them and wraps his arms around her tightly, her back nestled carefully against his chest.
But as the night wore on and sleep eluded her, Sofía couldn't help but wonder how much longer she could keep her secrets hidden. She knew that she had to tell Luca the truth, to confront the consequences of her actions, but the fear of losing him was almost too much to bear.
She couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. And so, as she lay there in the darkness, she made a silent promise to herself—to find the courage to tell Luca the truth, no matter how painful it might be. She knew that she couldn't keep her secrets hidden forever, and that she owed it to him to be honest.
And so, as she lay awake in the darkness, the weight of her choices bearing down on her, she couldn't help but wish for a way to turn back time and make things right. But life didn't work that way, and Sofía knew that she had to face the music, no matter how painful it might be.
With a heavy heart and a determined resolve, Sofía finally drifted off to sleep, the weight of her choices weighing heavily on her mind. And as she closed her eyes, she prayed for the strength to do what was right, no matter the cost.
In the dead of night, the shrill ring of her phone shattered the silence and the solace she had finally found in the world beyond her eyelids, jolting Sofía awake with a start. She blinked groggily, her heart pounding in her chest as she fumbled for the phone on the nightstand and quickly turning off the ringer so it doesn't wake up the man next to her.
Her eyes take a moment to adjust to the brightness of her phone screen against the darkness of the room and the world outside her window. As her vision clears, her eyes widen at the contact name staring back at her and quickly but quietly shifts out of bed. The next thing she takes notice of is the time on her phone's display: 2:47 AM.
She swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her chest as she processed the late hour and the name across her screen. With a deep breath, Sofía steadied herself, knowing that she couldn't ignore Carlos's plea. She quietly makes her way onto the balcony, and with trembling hands, answers the call, her voice thick with sleep. "Hello?" she mumbled, her breath catching in her throat as she waited for a response.
"Sofía," came Carlos's voice on the other end of the line, his tone urgent and filled with emotion. "Hi. Sorry."
Suddenly, she was more than thankful that Lucas was a really heavy sleeper. Carlos' voice was heavy with exhaustion but laced with a slight slur that made her squeeze her eyes shut in frustration. But even then, Sofías heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice, a flood of memories and emotions washing over her in an instant.
"Hi. Um, is something wrong?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
There was a heavy silence on the other end of the line, punctuated only by the sound of Carlos's ragged breathing. Sofía could almost feel the weight of his words hanging in the air between them, a palpable tension building with each passing second.
And then, finally, Carlos spoke, his voice thick with emotion. "Do you regret it?" he asked, his words echoing in the darkness.
The womans eyebrows furrow in complete confusion, her sleep induced brain taking a moment to catch up to what he was insinuating. Sofías heart clenched at the question, her mind racing with conflicting thoughts and emotions. She wanted to give Carlos an answer, to ease the tension that hung between them, but the truth was, she didn't know how she felt anymore.
"I don't know, Carlos," she finally admitted, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "I don't know anything right now."
The man on the other end of the line lets out a huff, hands clattering around, possibly to refill his drink. "Do you regret it?"
"Carlos..."
"Yes or no, that's all I want to hear." his voice was pleading, almost begging for an answer. As though he too had spent the past month or so thinking non-stop about what had happened between them.
"I don't know, Carlos." her voice cracks slightly, "I don't know anything at all! All I do know is that I cheated on my boyfriend, and I can barely sleep at night because he's next to me and I've had another man all over my skin!"
That silence consumes their conversation once again, as Sofías hand wrap around the railing tightly, knuckles going white at the anticipation of his response.
"Does he know you answer my calls when he sleeps?"
Sofia stood in her dimly lit apartment, the weight of Carlos's words hanging heavy in the air. She gripped the phone tightly, her heart racing as she struggled to find the right words.
"Does he know how you really feel, cielo? Where your heart truly lies?"
"Carlos..." she began, her voice trembling with emotion, eyes squeezed tightly shut in an effort to push it all out. Because truth be told, she didn't know who her heart belonged to anymore. She didn't know who she loved more.
But before she could continue, Carlos interrupted, his voice gentle yet firm. "Sofía, I need to know," he said, his tone unwavering. "Do you regret it? Do you regret what we did? Do you regret being with him instead of me?"
Sofía closed her eyes, her mind swirling with conflicting thoughts and emotions. She wanted to give Carlos an answer, to ease the tension that hung between them, but the truth was, she didn't know how she felt anymore. She didn't know where he stood with his own girlfriend.
Had they broken up? Was that what had prompted this call?
"No, Carlos." she finally admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I don't regret what we did."
There was a heavy silence on the other end of the line, punctuated only by the sound of Sofías ragged breathing. She could almost feel Carlos's disappointment radiating through the phone, and it made her chest ache with guilt.
He speaks again after a moment, his voice tinged with sadness. "I just... I just wish things were different."
Sofia swallowed hard, the lump in her throat threatening to choke her. "I do too," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
And then, before either of them could say another word, the line went dead, leaving Sofía alone with her thoughts and regrets.
She sank down onto the outdoor couch, her head in her hands as tears welled up in her eyes for what felt like the hundredth time that night. She had never felt more lost or alone than she did in that moment, torn between the love she had for Luca and the lingering feelings she still harbored for Carlos.
As she sat there, lost in her own turmoil, she couldn't help but wonder if Carlos was right—if Luca knew about the late-night calls, the whispered conversations that she thought were safely hidden from his view. She turns her body around in the slightest, sneaking a glance at the man peacefully asleep between her sheets and the soft moonlight caressing his face.
The thought made her stomach churn with guilt, a sickening feeling creeping over her as she realized the true depth of the betrayal she had committed. She had promised to be faithful to Luca, to love him and him alone, and yet here she was, still tangled in the web of her past.
And as she sat there, the weight of her choices bearing down on her, she knew that she couldn't keep running from the truth forever. She had to face her feelings, her fears, and her regrets head-on, no matter how painful it might be.
MAYA SPEAKS
sofía reyes, pop star by day and a gaslighting icon by night!!
i honestly have nothing to say anymore other than buckle up because thing are about to crazy!! well, crazier!! next chapters gonna be the last happy flashback before we start moving along to the beginnings of their downfall and i'm having so much fun writing the breakup chap lol (maybe i do have a slight problem...)