Normani got up and walked back over with the book.
"Open it to the page with the corner turned down." I told her.
She did what was asked and sat in front of me the way she was a few moments ago. "Is this your diary, girl?"
I shook my head, "I dunno. The girls were reading it to me to jog my memory but that page is the one that pissed Lauren off."
Normani scanned the pages and her eyes got big, "No wonder. You were mad as fuck."
"Read it to me."
"I don't know about this."
I begged her as quietly as I could, "Please Mani. I need to know why she's mad."
Normani took a huge breath and began to read it, "December 23rd, 2014.
I can't believe her. After all we've been through, I thought she had changed but she's only gotten worse. God, what have I done. Why am I still here enduring this shit?
She told me she changed. She did. She said 'babe, I'm different. I won't do it again.'
Bullshit. That lying ass Cuban has done enough to me.
She's started abusing Camila and I again. This time it's worse. God, it's worse. I want to stop her but it'll only make it even more terrible for Mila and I.
I walked into the bedroom to see her slapping Camila. Her face was red and tears were running down her cheeks.
I stepped in front of her to see that glare again. Old Lauren. The one that I was hoping wouldn't come back. That Lauren will go to a whole other world. Not a good one.
She got mad and told me to leave but I wasn't going to. I had to protect Mila from all of this happening again. Lauren got angrier because I wouldn't leave and she started hitting me.
Finally, she noticed where she was and what she was doing and left.
All I could do was hold Camila.
She looked at me and said, "What are we gonna do? We can't stop her this time. She's stronger and smarter. We can't get away."
I didn't know what to say. The truth is, I don't know what to do. The other girls know but they can't do anything about it. They've tried. It only ends up in bigger fights.
I'm just so angry. Fuck Lauren. Fuck this shit. I want out.
I love her so much but I can't go through it again. Something's gotta give. It's either me and cam or this thing."
Normani stopped and looked at me with sad eyes, "I shouldn't have read that to you."
Everything about that moment came back ten-fold. The pain, the hurt, the fear. It was all there with the slight nerve pains in my back from earning another memory.
I tried to play off my pain but it didn't work.
"Oh god." I groaned a little too loudly which made Camila stir from her slumber.
"Babe, are you okay?" She asked me while softly caressing my cheek.
She looked over to see Mani close by, "Hey when did you get here?"
Normani hung her head down to try and act believable, "Just a little while ago."
Camila's eyes trailed down to the book in Normani's hand. She quickly grabbed it and looked to see the page that was opened. "You read this to her?!"
"I-I didn't mean-" Normani stuttered nervously.
"If anything, this is something I didn't want her to remember. I was thinking this would end that part of our lives. Now Lauren is gonna be so much worse." Camila lectured Normani.
"Babe, calm down." I groaned feeling the pain grow but I didn't wanna focus on it because that would mean I would be took back to the hospital. "I wanted to know."
Camila's eye brimmed, "She's doing so much better. I promise you, Y/N. She's trying to do better because of you. She's changing."
"When was the last time she did this to both of us?" I asked feeling the pain increase as my memory banks were beginning to start up again.
"Please don't make me say it."
"Now, Camila." My voice was filled with authority.
"A few days before the accident." I've never seen her look sadder having to admit something.
I didn't feel well and I especially didn't feel like having to deal with this again. This feeling of insecurity and fear. It was all coming back to me.
I remember she would do this because of her bottled up emotions. Something would piss her off so bad that she would take it out on us. The girls had tried to get in the middle of it sometimes, but
Lauren always had the upper hand.
She stopped at one point because I warned her that I would take Camila and leave. I didn't care about Fifth Harmony anymore. My boiling point was reached.
She had just beat the shit out of Camila without my knowledge and then went after me. I told her after she apologized that if she did it again, we would pack up in the middle of the night and leave her and the other girls. We wouldn't be found. Camila has the money to take us away and I have the smarts to get us to stay away. That scared Lauren so much that it stopped it cold. Until the night I talked about in the book.
That night, she was angry because of relationship rumors between Camila and Austin. Then also the James McVey P.R. stunt was kind of forced on their heads. I never minded being behind the curtain. I didn't want to be known as Lauren and Camila's girlfriend. But Lauren was extremely upset that she had to play nice with a punk. So, the anger got the best of her.
When she does this, it's like she's not even the Lauren Michelle Jauregui that we know. The look in her eyes is so different. The way she holds herself is different. It's almost horrifying.
"Mani." I asked feeling the pain circulate, "Please help me to bed. I don't feel well anymore. I just need to rest."
"Babe.." Camila called out.
I shook my head, "I'll talk to you more about this later."
Normani picked me up in her arms and carried me to the bed to tuck me in the middle.
"I shouldn't have read that to you." She sighed out.
"Yes, you should've. I'm not a kid. It's better I know when she's not around."
Normani began heading out of the door but I yelled out her name to make her stop. "Mani, I just gotta ask you one thing before you go." She stood there waiting. "Has she hurt Camila while I was in the hospital?"
She just stood there before hovering her hand over the light switch, "You need some rest, Y/N. I'll see you tomorrow for family week."
The light clicked off and the door shut leaving me in utter darkness. My thoughts increased and so did my exhaustion rate.
God, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow.
--
A/N:
I won't be updating for a few days because I'll be going to a horrible place with no wifi. send your prayers as I make my journey into the Stone Age. and if you want a double update, get this chapter to 300 reads.
oh yeah, and trust me. the drama is only beginning. can you handle it? -agf