Harry's POV
* One week later *
The boys all joke around, full of smiles as we lazy around our venue for tonight. As always, I'm sitting outside of their group, not muttering a single word. Usually my brain is blank and void of anything beside Olivia. Of course that's the case as well today, but there's other things that occupy my mind as well.
As hard as the boys tried to hide it from me, I saw the latest magazine that's on the newsstands. Of course it's about us - more specifically, me - because the media seriously can't go a minute without trying to ruin our lives with rumors and stories that don't respect our privacy.
Right on the front cover were two separate candid photos of Olivia and I from this past week. The pictures were not attractive of either of us. I sense a slight use of editing to make matters worse.
Lucky me; my love life seems to be all anyone can talk about. Nobody had confirmed or said anything about Olivia and I no longer being together, but the paparazzi got word of it when Summer had let it slip when she was still extremely frustrated at all of us. She apologized right away to me, for everything, but that didn't change anything.
The article was full of photos from our romance along with several theories as to why we broke up. They used the picture of Olivia riding on Louis' back of course, saying that I was a jealous monster that couldn't stand her being friendly with the other lads.
But unfortunately, the put a lot of the blame on Olivia. They used a few photos from these past weeks that I am looking incredibly rough in; like a walking zombie. They said that she was sucking the life from me; that whatever it was that she did, it obviously hurt me a lot.
Little does everyone know that I was the monster; I ruined it all.
"Harry, it's time to start getting ready, mate," Zayn puts his arm around my shoulder, giving me a friendly squeeze and a bright smile.
I really do try my hardest to return the favor, but it doesn't appear so on my face. Dragging my feet, I shuffle behind the lads back to our dressing room.
Now that we're completely done recording in the studio, all the fun stuff gets to happen. Our tour just went on sale a few days ago and sold out in a matter of minutes. Everything we do for the next two weeks is preparation for that.
Tonight is sort of our kick-off for our tour. We're going to be preforming our songs for a much larger audience than the last time we showcased a few of them. This event is much more for the media, to attract attention to us and all we're doing.
I've been tossing and turning the past few nights, stressed out over everything. Louis had told me it would get easier over time, not being with Olivia, but that isn't the cast at all. If anything, it's only gotten a million times worse. It's been like spending a long and miserable winter without the sun.
And on top of that, I'm going to have to get on stage and sing the songs I wrote for her - the songs that are the very reason she's not here anymore - in front of a million people every night. I'm just not sure whether I'll be able to handle it.
"Alright lads, are you getting pumped?" Tyler enters our dressing room as we work on putting on our dress clothes. He's nearly bursting with excitement, as he often is before our performances.
The lads all cheer and jump around, starting to feel the pre-show jitters. Normally I'm the most energetic of the group before performances, jumping and screaming all over the place; not the case anymore. I silently button up my white shirt and let the others jump around in excitement.
My stylist - a woman that's been with us since the beginning - gives me a concerned look as she adds some unknown product to my hair, running her fingers through it. It only makes me think of Olivia's delicate fingers playing with my curls. I do my best to refrain from pushing my stylist away, even though it hurts like hell.
"Okay, so you guys will be hitting the stage in about a half hour, so start warming up as soon as possible," Tyler tells the group, clapping his hands loudly.
None of us ever take warming up too seriously, despite what our vocal coaches tell us. They all join together, singing Shaggy's 'Wasn't Me' at the top of their lungs; one of our favorite songs. Even though Zayn wriggles his eyebrows to make me laugh, trying to urge me to join in, I don't move from my spot. I send him a pathetic excuse for a smile as I re-tie my dress shoes for the third time.
"Harry, I need to have a word with you about - " Tyler approaches me, speaking softly with a very business-like tone of voice, one that I know I should be nervous about.
Luckily his phone goes off from inside his sweatshirt pocket, taking the focus away from me and whatever he was going to say. He curses beneath his breath and flashes me his pointer finger, gesturing for me to wait here.
So of course I'm going to take this moment to go to the bathroom and get away quickly.
Louis' POV
The lads and I all watch as Harry quickly darts out of the dressing room. Our joyful singing dies off slowly as the smiles fade from our faces. We've been trying our hardest to be extra energetic to try and put some form of Harry's real personality back in him. He's still moping around the place like a zombie.
"I don't even know what to do anymore," I sigh, shaking my head and taking a seat on one of the folding chairs.
Here I thought my break-up with Juliet was bad... It's nothing compared to Harry. At first, it crossed my mind that perhaps he was doing it for pity, that he didn't want to seem like the douchebag in the situation. That's definitely not the case at all. He makes sure everyone knows that he was the jerk. If anyone even tries to defend him, he'll yell at them.
Zayn sits down beside me and runs his fingers through his hair, stressed out as well. I know he still felt a little bad about Summer getting herself in the middle of it all. They're back together, but the two of them still feel an immense amount of guilt.
"Guys, Niall and I did something that we never told you..." Liam speaks up, exchanging a peculiar look with Niall.
Both Zayn and I perk up instantly. There really aren't secrets when it comes to one another. If we don't tell each other, we find out about it anyways. But it doesn't bother any of us because we definitely don't judge each other; we're a family.
That's why my curiosity has reached a peak as I wait for them to spill the secret.
"Last week we sorta went over to Tea's house and talked with Olivia," Niall spills, keeping his eyes to the ground.
Zayn and I jump to our feet, shouting at once:
"What?"
"Are you guys stupid?"
"Harry's our friend and that's just wrong!"
"If Harry finds out!"
But they give us stern looks, shutting us up instantly. Perhaps we should listen to the entire story first...
"We just wanted her to know that Harry feels awful about the whole thing. You know he's called her more than a million times before she changed her number. She needed to hear it from someone who was right about this thing from the start," Liam explains, giving Zayn and I a smug look, irritating me.
The two of them never let Zayn and I forget that we had encouraged Harry to do this from the start. But yet again, if we hadn't; Harry would have never met Olivia in the first place. The real question is that was it worth it?
"Well, what'd she say?" Zayn asks, completely ignoring his irritating comment.
My stomach falls with the look Liam and Niall exchange with one another; not good.
"Well... She was still pretty messed up about it all. She seemed just as much of an emotional wreck as Harry is. We thought maybe, after planting the thought in her head, that she'd talk to Harry, but it looks like that's not gonna happen..." Niall explains, frowning.
The air leaves my lungs, deflating my chest with the little gleam of hope I held of Olivia and Harry getting back together. I've never seen a couple so in love before; they were literally perfect for each other. I'd say I know Harry fairly well; better than he knows himself, and Olivia really changed him. But unlike Juliet had done to me, she changed him for the better.
I know I'm not going to settle until I find my own Olivia.
"I honestly don't know how much longer he's going to last until he lands himself in the psych ward," I frown, recalling his loud sobs that ring through our silent apartment building at night. Eve when he is asleep, you can hear him whimpering like a hurt puppy.
My words linger in the dressing rooms where our stylists - probably eavesdropping, but they won't tell - are the only ones to be heard as they clean up. All our eyes are casted downwards, left to our own thoughts about our troubled brother.
The tour could be good for him? It'll get him out of this town and more importantly away from Olivia. I bet they just need space. Then Olivia will realize that she needs Harry just as much as he needs her. I just hope that her realization happens sooner than later.
Suddenly our dressing room door opens, sounding incredibly loud in our quiet and solemn room. Tyler looks around the room quickly, squinting as he searches for something. When his eyes land on us, they look incredibly confused.
"Where did Harry go?" He asks us, his eyes still scanning the room.
"He left just a few minutes ago," Zayn answers, gesturing towards the door.
"That shithead..." Tyler mumbles, plopping down in a chair by us.
He lets out a loud breath, rubbing his face, looking more stressed than usual, which is saying something. We've all seen Tyler frazzled before, but it looks as if he's reached a new low point; as we all have recently.
Everything's just been off for the past week or so. I suppose when one of us is struggling, we all are.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with him. He can't keep on like this otherwise he'll end up shooting his brains out," He sighs, looking at us desperately.
I wish I had some sort of advice for him, but I've been thinking the same thing. That's why even though I've been sleeping at Liam's, I wake up every hour or so to go and check on him. A sad Harry is better than one that doesn't exist at all...
I shake those thoughts from my brain.
"We don't know what to do anymore either..." Liam adds, playing with his hands in front of him.
I see Tyler open his mouth to say something when the door to our dressing room swings open. Harry's dead eyes meet ours, but he quickly looks away and keeps his head down as he sits down at the mirrors, away from us.
"Harry..." Tyler stands up and approaches him.
We all hold our breath.
Harry's POV
"Harry..." Tyler starts, unfortunately not forgetting the conversation he had wanted to have with me.
My eyes look up into the mirror, seeing Tyler get to his feet, the lads watching him carefully. Gone are the cheerful friends that were singing and dancing when I left; here are the sad, concerned friends that often make an appearance when they don't think I'm looking.
I'm not stupid; I know exactly what Tyler wants to talk about. He's worried about the band. He thinks I'm dragging them down. Funny; I remember a similar situation happening several weeks ago.
How great that one ended up.
"Harry, you know I love you like your family. You're like my little brother," He continues, standing directly behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder.
I watch him through the mirror, avoiding turning around to look him in the actual face. To say I was ashamed of the way I'm acting is an understatement, but no matter how hard I tried to act... normal, I just couldn't.
"I know how much this group means to you. I've never seen more dedication in a group than I have with you boys. That's why I'd hate to see you throw all of this away over something so little..." He tells me, giving my shoulder a squeeze, much like my own father would when he was giving me a talk.
Over something so little... If only it were a little situation, my life would be easy. I didn't ask to fall head over heels with some girl. I didn't ask for her to find out about the biggest mistake I've ever made. I only wish my love for Olivia were little. But that's not the case, nor will it ever be.
Tyler turns me around, scraping the legs of my chair against the concrete ground so that I can look him dead in the eye. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes before starting again,
"Olivia is just a girl. I know it may not feel like that, but it's true. The earth turned, the seasons changed, you sang, all perfectly fine before her and I assure you that it will still be that way once you let her go."
I can feel the hate filling me from my feet up. Through the reflection in Tyler's dark eyes, I can see my own darkening in a rather frightening way.
How dare he!
"You act like I'm a child, Tyler," I spit, speaking more than I have in a while, "Like I am completely clueless when it comes to this. If it were that easy, I wouldn't be having this problem now, would I?" I challenge him, my voice rising and cracking like mad.
I can see the surprise appearing on his face. He probably expected a dead-pan answer with no emotion; what I've been giving everyone since she left.
"You're a still a kid, Harry. You think you're in love now, but you have no idea. I remember being your age and being infatuated with a girl. But I can promise you that if you'll just listen that one day you'll find another girl and you'll fall in love with her," He shakes his head, looking down at me as if I were some foolish little child.
That only makes my rage pulse within. It's as if he's added the extra weight to make the table crack beneath the pressure. Something inside of me snaps and all my emotions go flying. It takes all I have to refrain from snapping physically.
"You have no fucking idea what you're talking about! Olivia is more than just some adolescent crush. And if you're stupid enough to think that I'm just going to be able to forget all about her and fall in love with someone new then I really feel bad for you," I spit at him, getting to my feet.
Because of my tall frame, I tower over him. I push my chest out, nearly nose-to-nose with him. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the other lads getting to their feet, looking alarmed.
"She's just some stupid girl!" Tyler screams at me, getting in my face as well, "What makes her so special, Harry? What makes her so important that you're going to through you're entire life and career down the drain?" He takes his index finger and pokes me in the chest roughly, causing me to stagger backwards.
"Tyler, mate, calm down," Zayn steps in between the two of us, placing his hand on my chest to push me back a few steps.
I continue glaring at Tyler, my eyes full of hate.
What made her so special; what made her so important?
Perhaps it was the way she made me feel so normal. I wasn't just some celebrity with a large bank account to her. She didn't even have the slightest idea who I was when we met and that drove me nuts. Or maybe it was the way she was the goofiest girl in the world and she didn't care at all. When other girls would be running away in embarrassment, she shrugged her shoulders and smiled that big grin of hers that reached all the way to her crisp green eyes. But it could also be the fact that even though we only knew each other a short time, she fell just as hard as I did; letting me know that it wasn't just some fling.
It was real.
She infected my brain like a tumor. No matter what I was doing, she was - and still is - in the back of my mind. She made a fool out of Hollywood's Heartbreaker. And I would scream that at the top of the universe for all to hear if it made things any different. Not only was I absolutely and ridiculously physically attracted to her; she was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid eyes on and she didn't mess with fake tans or wear slutty clothes like most. She was genuinely a beautiful person inside and out.
She is so special; so important. She is the definition of special in my dictionary.
"You'll see how dumb you look when she moves on to bigger and better things and you're stuck with nothing. You'd better shape up otherwise you'll be on the street, Kid," Tyler spits at me, being held back by Louis and Liam.
I open my mouth to spit something back at him but my words get caught in my throat. None of this arguing will do any good. I could let out all my aggression on those that care about me, but in the end, that'll only hurt more people.
I've done enough damage.
Pushing Zayn's hand off my chest, I turn on my heels and sprint out the doors with no intention of returning to this stupid event for these stupid people who don't understand me at all.
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AN: HELLO EVERYONE! I think there's only going to be one more chapter and then the epilogue! (such a bittersweet moment!) I'm so excited, yet so sad! I never want this story to end, but I am CRAZILY excited about the "sequel" :)
Speaking of the "sequel", I think I'll release a teaser of it after the epilogue! What do you guys think? :)
Along with that, do let me know what you think of this drama-filled chapter? I actually sorta enjoyed writing this one! (Maybe I'll get the hang of all this dramatic writing eventually :p ) haha
I love you all so dearly<3
Love always,
-Never_Let_Me_Go