A/N: I have once again, drawn my inspiration from Arctic Monkeys with their song. :') Enjoy!
"Please tell me you feel the same way?" You croaked while your hot tears spilled down your face. You lips quivered, and your head pounded heavily. "Jonathan?" You asked shakily as you brought your hands across your chest. Jonathan sighed and placed his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor while shaking his head in disapproval. You felt your heart sink while your head continued to pound as if someone had taken a hammer and smashed your forehead and temples. "You don't feel the same way?" You asked, wrapping your arms around yourself tighter. Jonathan kept his eyes glued to the floor. "No." He whispered.
You felt your heart stop for a second while your body tensed. You scrunched your face at the feeling of hot tears continuing to overflow your cheeks at Jonathan's response. "Jonathan, you're breaking my heart." You peep. Jonathan sighed again and furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. He looked up from the floor and looked at you. "I'm sorry Y/N." He responds. You raised your right hand towards your eyes to wipe away your tears while you felt your chest rise up and down quickly in order to get more air from the sudden feeling of losing the ability to breathe. "Yeah. I'm sorry too." You say in between sniffles. "I'm sorry I actually wasted my time being friends with a jerk like you and ended up falling for you." You say to him angrily, and quickly walked out of his room, running out of his house to get far away from him as possible.
....
"It hurts doesn't it?" He asked as he kept his head turned to you, his gaze fixated on your gaze that focused towards the center of the mall. You blinked and turned to face him. "What?" You asked. Steve Harrington looked at you and then towards the center of the mall where you were looking at. "It hurts to see someone you love and care for be with someone else who is not you." He says softly. You felt your breath hitch as you realized you both were staring at Nancy and Johnathan who stood in the center of the mall holding each other close. You scoffed. "I have no idea-" you began to reply, but Steve interrupted you. "Come on Y/N. I know you like Jonathan." He replies as he scoots his body closer to you as you both swung your legs that dangled from sitting on top of a food place counter. Your eyes shifted from Jonathan to Steve as you turned your head to look at him again. "I do not like Jonathan." You said.
Inside, it hurt you to say it out loud. You loved him deeply even if he didn't feel the same way. It hurt to even remember that night at his house. No matter when or where, somehow the memories of that night will never leave your mind. "Y/N. Stop lying." Steve said as he nudged your shoulder. "What did they just say?" Steve asked as he pointed towards Eleven, Mike, and Lucas, who surrounded Dustin and Erica as they showed Hopper a blue print across from where Nancy and Jonathan stood. You couldn't help but chuckle. "Friends don't lie." You replied. Steve swung his legs a bit harder. "I know that look." He says as he realizes you have turned your head again to look at Jonathan who is caressing and holding Nancy ever so tightly while giving her head kisses. "Trust me I've made that look." He replies as he turns his head to look over where you were looking. "I know how it feels." He adds. You felt your heart shatter after seeing Jonathan smile and laugh at what Nancy had told him. "It hurts." You said softly as you looked down and away from Jonathan and Nancy. "Sure does." Steve sighs. The two of you sat silently looking down at each other's swinging legs when suddenly Steve took in a deep breath and sighed. "But not as much as being held captive at an underground Russian spy unit." He said as he lowered his hand that held an ice pack for his eye. You couldn't help but chuckle. "Tell me about it." You replied while moving your own ice pack from your right side of your jaw to your left side.
....
You sighed as you plopped your house keys down on the kitchen counter. It was past midnight and you had just returned home from closing up at the family video store with Steve. Before walking towards the fridge, you decided to pass by the house phone to listen to any messages that had been left while you were gone for the day. With one push of a button, you press the play button and continued your stride towards the fridge while listening to the voicemail messages being read out loud.
You opened your fridge and stuck your head in, as you rummaged around while you heard messages from your parents checking in on you from their short getaway and your good friend Robin Buckley thanking you for covering her shift with Steve that same day. When you spotted your desired item, a nice cold coke soda can, you smiled and swiftly grabbed it and closed the fridge door.
"New message at 3:15 AM from..."
You froze as you heard the phone read out the number from the next voicemail message. "3 AM?" You said to yourself as you raised an eyebrow and moved your hand to open your soda can. Who would call you at that hour? Taking a sip of your soda, you walked up to the counter where the phone sat and leaned against it, and watched the phone as you listened.
A series of slow chuckles started off the message, then suddenly you heard "Did she pick up?" A deep slow toned voice asked. There was no noise heard for a quick second, until you then heard "Uhh. I don't know." come from another voice that made your eyes widened. "Hello??" The voice said again. "Y/N it's Jonathan."
You couldn't help but feel your body tense at the sound of his voice emitting through the phone. "Wait. I am Jonathan right?" Jonathan asked confused. The other deep slow toned voice scoffed and replied with "Uhhh. I think so?"
Feeling confused and irritated, you furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head at hearing the conversation. You took another sip of your drink and then placed it down on the counter. "Wait why am I calling again?" You heard Jonathan ask. You then heard a small whisper and then Jonathan continued to speak. "Ohh! Right. Right. Y/N! It's me Jonathan and I miss you." Your heart rose to your throat when you heard his words. "I'm crazy for admitting that I need to hear your voice but." He begins to say, but then gets cut off by the deep voice that you heard earlier. "Oh Jonathan, how I love you ever so dearly." the voice taunts and mocks while making kissing noises. "Shut up Argyle." Jonathan says, then both started chuckling slowly again after that statement. You clenched your jaw and angrily stopped the message, deleting it without hesitation.
How dare Jonathan. You were angry, annoyed, and hurt. He had the nerve to call you up and make you feel stupid. You couldn't believe that for one second you thought he was being serious after hearing the words "I miss you" come out of his mouth but when you heard the chuckling before and after the message, you knew it was his stupid little prank calls. You weren't about to cave in and let him have his laughs. You were going to continue to do what you did when he announced his move to California. And that's simply to pretend nothing happened between the two of you and lose contact.
....
The days went by and believe it or not, after coming home from work you'd get voicemail messages every other day, heck sometimes two times a day at 3 AM. You couldn't believe Jonathan was being consistent with his calls and messages, and every message consisted of him talking about his feelings between the two of you.
"You know I think about us."
"I think that maybe I do need you."
"I was dumb enough to not even make you mine."
"Your tears rolling down your cheeks made you even more beautiful that night. I shouldn't have let you leave."
"I think about you you know? How could I have lost someone so special?"
His words echoed in your mind and made your heart beat ten times as fast as your normal heartbeat. You wish you hadn't heard all his messages but you couldn't help yourself. A lot of questions and thoughts came to your mind every time you played his messages. But it wasn't until you heard his very last message he sent to you that made you realize what was happening to him and going on in his mind. You hated it. You hated him for doing what he did, and it hurt you when you put the pieces of the puzzle together.
"I dream of you. I dream we're together, and I kiss you that night at the house. Your salty lips coated from your tears touched my lonely soul-" Jonathan stated softly and slowly when suddenly he gets interrupted. "Oh Jesus Byers enough with the poem shit already!" His friend Argyle complained. It was interesting how you got to know his voice through all the messages Jonathan left you. There isn't a message where his friend doesn't interrupt Jonathan. "Stop being emotional and get back here. This thing isn't going to smoke itself." He complained slowly as if he was confused and sleepy. Your mind froze at the sound of those words. You couldn't help but raise your hand over your mouth when you realize what was going on when the message was being left. "Enough with the old love letters and poems that aren't even yours. Why are you even pretending to care about her?" Argyle asked. You heard Jonathan choke and cough. He then lowered his voice and whispered, but what he didn't know was that the phone had picked up his whispering. "To make me feel better about myself. I told you this already. This is to distract me from my actual problem with Nance." Jonathan bluntly replied. "Woah. That's tragic man." Argyle replied. "I thought we've been through this every time." Jonathan said. You heard Argyle hum to himself. "Oh. Oh. Ohhh. Hm I must've forgotten." Argyle replied. There was a complete stop of their conversation when all came to silence in the message until you heard "Wait what were we doing and talking about again?" Jonathan asked before the message ended.
Shaking your head and crying deeply, you quickly stop the message from replaying and rubbed your hands against your face, feeling every single emotion of fondness and warmth you got from his messages break away. You hated that every message was a lie coming out of his mouth. You hated at the fact that he didn't remember his words yet alone mean anything he said. Those messages tore your heart to even tinier pieces than to what it was ripped before, and this time it felt like he literally snapped your heart and finished it off for good.
You sat on your bed feeling empty staring at your phone that sat on your nightstand later that night after hearing his last message. You debated on whether or not to make the call, and after contemplating with your inner thoughts, you thought enough is enough.
You grabbed your phone and dialed Jonathan's number and stood up and took a deep sigh in between each ring. You glanced over at your clock and realized the time where you were in Hawkins was different than where he was in California, but you didn't care. After a few rings, the call immediately was sent to voicemail and you shook your head at how stupid you thought into thinking he was going to pick. Suddenly, the call became quiet and indicated you to leave your voicemail message.
You stood up straighter and took in a deep breath as you looked over towards the window from your room before saying "Obviously you didn't pick up. I didn't expect for you to pick up, nor do I expect a call back. I only ask you this. Why'd you only call me when you're high?" You then went silent for a second and placed a strand of your hair behind your ear and chuckled to yourself. "I'm sorry I didn't properly say my greeting. Hi Jonathan. Why'd you only call me when you're high? We both know you didn't mean what you said, hell I don't think you even remember what you said and that's fine by me. The next time you're high, don't ever phone me again. You miss me? Maybe try calling your girlfriend. I bet you she's missing you more than you can imagine, and you don't have to get intoxicated to talk to her. Don't call me ever again." You spat before angrily hanging up the phone.
You felt relief wash over you and your face lightened while looking away from your window to your phone. You felt good after that message. You felt yourself become more confident. You took in a deep breath and smiled while rolling your shoulders to release tension from what just happened. You then heard a whistle come from your doorway. Surprised, you look up to find Robin and Steve with widened eyes leaning against the doorframe. "Something tells me we showed up at the right time." Robin smiles. Your smiled widened. "Oh. Perfect timing." You say walking away from the phone to meet your friends at the door. "Do you still feel the same way towards him after leaving that message?" Steve asked. His words echoed in your mind and brought you back from that night with those same words you asked Jonathan. You always had that memory of that night in your mind. Somehow you thought that the memory would never leave your mind, but now you made sure that the memory of that night including Jonathan himself will no longer be in your mind, and you were finally able to let it go. The three of you exchanged looks at each other as you sighed and rolled your shoulders back again. It was time to let Jonathan go just like he did to you that night. "No." You replied confidently, just like how Jonathan replied to you that night.
A/N: Thank you for the reads and votes! I appreciate all you amazing readers! :)