This chapter mentions a few dark topics. Please read at your own comfortability.
TW: ⚠️⚠️Mention of rape NOT the action.⚠️⚠️
Smut, sex toys, wrist grabbing, guilt after giving consent (?) mention of eating disorder behaviors.
After class, you started walking with Elizabeth in the hallway but Nick was quick to catch up with you. He cut you off as you were talking to her.
"Where are you going? Hines's room is that way."
"I know I was just going the longer way so we could talk. This is Elizabeth by the way-"
"You're gonna be late if you go that way. Let's go," He pulled you away from her and started walking you in the other direction. You stayed silent as he practically dragged you to your next class. "Don't run away from me again," he whispered before pushing you in the door. Everyone in the class looked at you as he placed your books and bag down. He kissed the top of your head before mumbling a quick "Be good," and leaving.
Lessons continued throughout the day and Nick just seemed agitated everywhere you went. By the time school was over, you immediately headed to Miss Cordelia's classroom where he wouldn't find you. You saw her packing up her bag, ready to go home. You quietly knocked on the open door and she looks up with a smile.
"Hi sweetheart, how was your day?"
"It was good. I made a friend. That girl Elizabeth."
"I saw! You two seemed to get along well."
"Yeah she's really nice. She's from Yorkshire, she's really good at drawing and she even has tattoos."
"Wow," Cordelia laughs. "I'm so happy y/n. Anyone give you trouble today?"
"No. Just stares and whispers," you mumbled quietly with a sigh.
Cordelia has a sympathetic look on her face but you were soon torn from the moment as you hear something. A laugh sounds through the hallway before you hear his voice. You gasp and run behind Cordelia's desk, crouching.
It hit her so hard, seeing your shaking frame like a terrified child. As he and one of his friends walked by, he quickly turned his head in the direction of the room to look for you and continued his way down the hall.
"Is he gone?" you whispered.
"Yes honey. He's gone," she replies in an apologetic tone.
You stand up, brushing off your skirt and she continues to look at you sadly.
"Are we still going to your house?"
She nodded with a smile and took your hand as you made your way there together. It was sunny outside and the grounds were clear of everyone, as they all were in their dorms. The trees were beginning to turn a vibrant orange color, signaling fall was on its way and you couldn't be happier. Cordelia opened the door for you and you walked into her living room, flopping onto the couch. Her face soon came into your vision as you stared at the ceiling with her standing over you.
"Long day?" she laughed.
"The longest," you sigh dramatically, whipping your head to the side, closing your eyes with the back of your hand over your forehead.
She sat beside you and placed her hand on your head, roughing your hair, making you blush. But as she looked down at you, her eyes looked nervous. Like she was about to say something hard.
"...So, do you want to talk about what happened last night?"
Shit.
You turned to lay on your stomach and sat up.
"No. Not really. Wanna watch a movie or something?" you ask, quickly grabbing the remote, not daring to look her in the eyes.
"y/n," Cordelia said with a serious tone, gently taking your wrist in her hand and taking the remote away. "You said you would talk about it with me at my house."
"No, I said I didn't want to talk about it at school and I still don't want to talk about it here. You told me to come here," you shook your head and stood up.
"Don't get upset y/n, I know something happened and I need to know you're okay."
"I told you I'm okay Cordelia. I said I don't want to talk about it get it through your skull!"
"Did he rape you?"
"NO! Oh my god- no!" you screamed. "No." Your voice depleted to a whisper as you fall to your knees and cover your face with your hands. "I can't tell you you're going to hate me," Cordelia was quick to join you, rubbing your back and shushing you. Her mind immediately raced with the possibilities of what you could've done.
"Shh no honey no. I won't hate you. How could i hate this face," she says painfully, taking your chin between her fingers.
Everything felt like it was hitting you at once. You didn't want to tell her you had sex with him when you were so in love with her.
"I think I'm gonna throw up," you managed to say in your hysterics. "I'm sorry," you cried in between sobs.
"Shh don't speak honey. You need to breathe. Don't be sorry it's okay. What ever it is my love it's alright. It's alright," she whispers.
Once you were steadily breathing, she pulled you to sit back in her lap, still sitting on her rug.
"I'm sorry Cordelia. I'm sorry I had sex with him," you sobbed as you turned over, crying into her shoulder. She was quick to hold you in her arms, despite what you said.
"It's alright my love," she sniffled. "It's alright."
"I- I didn't want to but I let him. It's my fault," you cried.
"It's not your fault y/n. It's not," she whispered as a tear fell down her cheek.
"Yes it is. I told him I wanted it," you couldn't stop sobbing. Cordelia then squeezed you a little tighter and you felt her tense up. She squeezed her eyes shut as another tear fell from her beautiful brown eyes.
"It's okay. He's much older than you y/n. He took advantage of you."
You push back and look her in the eyes, trying to breathe and be able to clearly speak.
"N-no it wasn't like that."
"Yes, y/n it was," she said, looking into your eyes as she held your arm, bringing you close to her again. "He's 18 and practically- kidnapped you from my house. He made you come with him with black mail. You were stuck."
You took shaking breaths as you looked at her with horror. She was completely right. Imagine if she knew you were under the influence.
You just nodded and looked to the side. You accepted it.
"I was fine."
"Well are you now?"
"...I- I'm just stuck Cordelia," you cried. "And- I think I like him."
"Oh y/n," you both stand up and she holds you once again. "It's okay. You're young. It's not your fault in any scenario. He is older. He is at fault."
"We aren't telling anyone about this."
"...He should be punished in some-"
"No Cordelia please. Please I don't want to talk about this anymore. Can we just... do something?"
"Yes honey, we can," she sighs. "Come back to the couch, I have something we can do." She takes your hand and sits you down on the soft cushions. "Just sit and relax, I'll be right back," she whispers, kissing your temple before disappearing back upstairs. She soon comes back down with a few boxes and sets them on the coffee table. Some boxes were clear, and you could see they were a bunch of beads organized.
"I like to make jewelry sometimes. It calms me down a lot."
You sat together on the floor, making each other a bracelet on the coffee table as you watch the movie Snow White.
It grew later and you soon traded the bracelets. You made her a string one with pastel colored glass beads and a silver flower charm. She gave you a similar one with white and light pink beads.
"Thank you Cordelia," you smiled.
"Thank you y/n," she beamed back, slipping the bracelet on your wrist. "I'm on dinner duty tonight sweetheart," she sighs.
"Can't I just stay here?"
"Well how are you going to eat dinner this far away from the dining hall?" she says, placing her hands on her hips giving a stern look.
"...Bring me something back?"
"But I don't want to leave you here alone."
"I'm safer here than there."
She sighs and silently ponders as her gaze drops to the floor, along with her hands to her sides.
"Fine. Don't fall asleep on me alright?" she says with a smirk. "Oh and... stay away from the windows. Please." Her lips settled into a demanding smile.
"Yes Miss Goode,"
She winks and walks out the door, closing it behind her. You look forward at the empty living room. You put away the bracelet supplies and find your self back on the couch and continue to watch tv for a little while.
Your stomach growls and you head into the kitchen. You open the fridge and pull out a tub of peanut butter, slowly taking a spoonful. You ventured upstairs into Cordelia's bedroom and look around her room before walking to her dresser. She had lots of jewelry. Countless displayed vintage necklaces and dangle earrings. You open another drawer with her pants, one with socks, and finally a drawer half full of her bras, and the other side with all her underwear.
Something pink caught your eye.
And it wasn't lace or cotton. More like rubber.
You picked it up and held it flat in your hand. Your cheeks turn red and you giggle. You felt bad snooping. You didn't think she'd like you to find it. You put right back where it was and lay in her bed. You felt tired and tried to sleep but you couldn't. You couldn't fall asleep with the racing thoughts of Cordelia using a sex toy on herself. ...Or on you.
Your panties felt damp and the heat between your legs only grew. You needed some release. Shaking your head, you get up and take it back out of the drawer. You hold it once again and turn it on.
"y/n."
Your body whips around to see Cordelia standing at the door. You both look down at the toy in your hand and your eyes go wide as she walks to you. She firmly grasps your wrist and takes the toy from you, turning it off and placing it back into the drawer.
"God, I'm so embarrassed," she whispered, about to shut it but you were quick to take her hand. You slip your other hand into hers as well.
"Don't be Cordelia. I mean, I have one too," you whispered with a giggle, slowly pulling it back out. "Except- mine doesn't have... this," you said innocently, pointing to the long dildo attached to it. "Mine only vibrates. What does it do?" Her cheeks were a bright red.
"It just...- y/n, please put it back in the drawer."
Your smile drops as you place it back in, pushing it closed.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be I'm just... old. I feel like I shouldn't have something like that."
"You're not old Cordelia. You're young and beautiful and- I think every woman deserves to pleasure themselves," you said quietly, stepping closer.
"You think?" she says with a smirk, holding eye contact. A smile creeps on your face and you nod, biting your lip. "Hmm." she takes your hand and reflects your expression.
"Uhm.. how was dinner?" you asked, breaking the tension. Your cheeks were now beaming red and you could no longer hold the eye contact, making her laugh.
"Just fine. I brought you back pasta."
You smile and give her a soft hug.
"Thank you."
"Of course sweetheart," she whispered, giving you a squeeze. Pulling back, she held your hot cheeks and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You lean forward and peck her lips, quickly pushing away with a giggle.
You were cut off as she pulls you in, stealing one from you fully. Your eyes went wide but flutter closed, taking her in. She took your breath away and slowly parted, looking for your reaction. She looked scared.
Before she could read your expression, you attached your lips once more. The kiss was long and heated as she pulled your hips closer to her body. Her hands roamed around your ass as she gave it a gentle squeeze. Distracted by the encounter, she doesn't see you pulling her pantie drawer back open, you take the toy again and she hears the vibrating as you switch it on.
"Do you want to answer my question now Miss Goode?" you whispered.
She takes the toy and pulls away from you, pushing you to her bed. She lays you down with a smirk and lifts your skirt, grazing it over your clothed center. It took you by surprise and your legs shook. "Ohh fuck," you sigh.
"You're so beautiful y/n. I can't fucking help myself anymore." She moves your panties out of the way and teased your dripping cunt with the tip. "Mm already so wet."
She slips it inside of you and the bud on the front rests on your clit, moving back and forth. You buck your hips and throw your head back into the soft pillow. She holds the toy, pumping it in and out of you, each time it was back in place, the vibrator made contact with your clit.
"Oh fuck Cordelia yes!"
"Mm yeah you like that bunny?"
You frantically nodded and she gets in your face, repeatedly saying your name. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as the pleasure continued.
"y/n! y/n! y/n!" Opening your eyes, you see Cordelia above you with a worried expression. "y/n, wake up."
You jumped up and looked around with fear and confusion.
"What- I thought-"
"It's okay honey. Did you have a bad dream? You sounded... uhm-" she sits on the bed and holds your red hot cheeks with worry. "My goodness you're burning up." As she pulls the sheets down, exposing your sweating body, only dressed in your white collared shirt and little skirt, she sees a wet spot beneath your thighs. You gasp and cover it with the blanket. "Sweetheart-"
"Oh my god Cordelia I'm so sorry," you sobbed. "I-I didn't mean to-"
"It's okay baby you just had an accident," she whispered, pulling you up from the bed and carrying you in her arms, patting your back.
"N-no I- I didn't-"
As she pulls the covers back over, she sees the stain has no color. The white sheets looks like water or something had spilled rather than you having an accident in your sleep.
"Is it not-?" she begins to ask. You shake your head and hide your face in her hair over her shoulder. This was much more embarrassing than you finding her toy. "Was it your dream honey?" she whispered, rubbing your back up and down. You shamefully nodded and kept your face hidden. "I see. It's okay baby," she chuckled. She holds under your bottom with one hand and starts stripping the bed with her other, kissing your head.
"I'm sorry," you cry once again.
"y/n, please, I promise it's alright." Her voice was soft and reassuring as she dumped the sheet into her washer. Walking back into the room, she gets another sheet from a small closet. "Can I put you down for a second to make the bed sweetheart?"
You turn your head and nodded, sniffling. She lets you down onto the carpet and you hold your knees, watching her make the bed after trying to lift some of your stain with a towel. Once she was done, she comes back over, kneeling down in front of you, lifting your chin.
"Don't be embarrassed. It's okay. You're just at that age... it's normal." She placed a hand on your thigh. Her finger grazed over a wet spot of skin. The inside of your thighs remained a sticky mess. "How about we get you cleaned up?" she whispered, kissing your forehead and taking your hand to help you up, and bring you to the bathroom. She turns on the bath and lets it run after checking the temperature. She pulls a towel from a closet and leaves it on the sink. "Call me if you need anything love I'll be in my room alright?"
You shamefully nodded and she closed the door, leaving you to bathe. You stripped yourself and stepped into the perfectly heated water. Chills covered your body and you lay back in the water. You hear a faint knock at the door and quickly sit up, seeing Cordelia's extended arm drop a night dress onto the sink.
"Here's some pajamas and clean underwear honey. Are you alright?"
"Yes. Thank you."
"Of course."
She closed the door and you sat up with your knees to your chest, replaying the dream in your head over and over. You closed your eyes, trying not to think about it, seeing it only made you more... frustrated. You grew so needy, you felt heat in your stomach and wetness grow down your center and it wasn't from the bath.
You finish washing yourself and begin to drain the tub. You get out and dry yourself with a towel but you feel something running down your thigh. You exhale and quickly wipe the sticky line making its way down your leg.
"What the fuck," you hissed quietly. You scrunch your wet hair and put on the nightgown and underwear. The underwear were thick, white, boy shorts. You thought that was cute. As you pull them up your long legs, you imagine Cordelia wearing them... and only them...JESUS Y/N STOP.
You shook your head at the thoughts once more. You were supposed to belong to Nick. He was in arms reach. He could love you. Cordelia on the other hand.. too perfect. You felt she couldn't love you. Not in the way you imagine. She was much too old and mature to love you.
These depressing thoughts didn't chase away those of such obscenity. It's like she's the first person you've ever craved. She was in fact perfect.
You slipped on the dress and walked out the door, being met with her body laid on the bed, a book in hand and reading glasses resting on the end of her nose. She looked up at the sound of you closing the door. You sort of stood there, making her chuckle lowly.
"Come on the bed sweetheart. Please don't be embarrassed, I told you, it's okay," she says softly, standing up to take your hand. She pulls you to the bed and when you just stood at the foot of it, she rolled her eyes and pulled your waist onto it, pulling you into her lap, making you both giggle.
You quickly crawl away to the other side when she starts tickling your sides, accidentally giving her a perfect view of your ass and between your legs, as you were on your hands and knees. She smirks and bites her lip.
"Get back here," she growls playfully, wrapping a hand around the side of your thigh, her thumb resting on your ass. The contact made you flinch hard, and you felt more arousal grow. More importantly, a moan escaped your lips as she grasped and pulling you back to lay down in her lap.
You just looked at each other. She definitely heard you. She just smirks again, and brings her face to yours, rubbing your noses together, making your face scrunch in a smile. She kisses your forehead and it sends another wave of need through you. You involuntarily buck your hips and groan.
"Are you okay sweetheart?" You just nod as your cheeks get hot once again. She placed a hand on one. "You're hot baby," she whispered, sounding worried, moving her palm about your face. You quickly sit up.
"I'm fine. I just- want to go to bed," you muttered, not looking at her. She rolls onto her side and faces your back, placing her hand on the dip of your waist.
"It's only 7:30," she says, the physical contact making you flinch once again. "Why are you so skittish?" she asks, tickling your side again.
"Hey! Stop!" you yell laying on your side, giving her the perfect opportunity to straddle your waist and tickle you all over. "Ahh! Cordelia please!"
Your legs were spread open and her knee brushed against your center, making completely buck your hips again with a moan. She felt the wetness from your underwear on her bare knee. She stops her torture and can't help but look from you, to your open legs. You quickly close them with embarrassment.
She separated them once again.
"Ahh. ...Now I see the problem honey."