I was still fuming when I sat down in the backseat of the car, even with the idiot now permanently gone. Francis brought the kid with him when he joined me in the backseat of my small limo, and my rage subsided when I watched the young man. Pity and sadness took over the anger and hate.
"Sit there," Francis told him, pointing at the seat opposite of me.
The kid did sit down, but I couldn't tell if he even knew the two of us were there.
"Hey, kid?" I said softly as the car started moving, but he stared down at his hands, his body stiff like a corpse. "Hey, you're safe now. We won't hurt you."
Nothing. He didn't even blink. I turned to look at Francis, who shook his head and sighed.
"Completely shut down," he muttered. "He's running on pure instincts. He goes where I point at, but I don't think he understands words."
"His alpha is in charge. The human... I hope he's still in there," I said.
"What are you going to do?"
I shrugged. "Can't leave him out here, can I?"
"No, he'll die," Francis agreed. "I'll ask around if anyone knows him. He should be at home. With his family. They can take care of him."
"He looks so young..." I muttered as I watched his face.
For an alpha, he had delicate features, though he was severely underweight. Quite tall, but really skinny. His short hair was dark, but missing large patches. His pale face had scars. It was hard to tell the color of his eyes since his pupils were dilated, but they were light. Blue or gray.
I watched him all the way back home. He didn't move. He didn't look up even once. He sat still, his hands in his lap, trying to be as small as his tall frame let him. My anger was still there, boiling under the surface. This kid had been through literal hell. Nothing less could shut someone down so completely.
I still had no idea what to do about him, but in this state, he was unable to take care of himself. I had to take him home with me and keep him there until we'd find his family.
"You need a hand, Boss?" Francis asked when the car passed by the gates to my yard, then stopped in front of my home.
"I'll take it from here. You should head home as well," I said. "Tell everyone they did a good job today."
"Yes, Boss. If you need anything..."
"I'll give you a call," I promised.
I turned to the kid and leaned closer. He didn't react, just like I'd expected.
"Hey. We should get inside. You look like you could use a long bath and a good meal," I told him, but nothing.
"You need to point outside," Francis told me.
I tried to make sure the kid saw me when I did as Francis said. I had my doubts, but lo and behold, the kid actually left the car. I was quick to follow him in case he'd run down to the street, but he only stood there, a few feet away from the car.
"You sure you can handle him?" Francis asked.
"I'm sure. Go get some sleep. Meet me here in the morning," I told him.
"All right. Night, Boss."
"Night," I replied, and the driver continued driving.
I turned back to the kid, who stared at his feet. With a sigh, I placed my hand carefully on his arm and gestured for him to follow me. He did so without hesitation. It was sickening. He just followed, no matter what my intentions were. Even with his human side completely shut down, his alpha should've tried to protect them both. But no. They were both completely broken, tortured into complete submission.
"You'll be fine now," I said gently, stopping behind my front door. "I don't know how to help you, but at least you're safe now."
I let him into my home, then stepped in as well and closed the door. As I took my coat off, the kid waited next to me, his eyes on the floor. The fear in his eyes had faded a little, but his expression was still tense, like he expected to get hurt any second.
But he would feel no pain anymore. I promised him that.
"Let's get you something to eat first," I told him, and nudged his arm to get him to follow me.
Through the large entrance hall and past its cozy seating area by the massive windows, the kid obediently walked one step behind me. He never took his eyes off the ground, even when we rounded a corner to enter my dining hall.
"I suppose you wouldn't answer if I asked what you'd like to eat," I said when I stopped behind my fridge in the kitchen and opened both doors to see what I had to offer him.
I had some leftover salmon, au gratin potatoes, and sauteed vegetables from last night, so I pulled them out and filled a plate for us both.
"You don't mind if I microwave them for you?" I asked, keeping my voice light.
No response, but I figured I should keep trying. I hoped a friendly voice would give him reassurance, and maybe... Maybe there was a chance his human side could still hear me.
While we waited for the food, I again found myself watching him. If he weren't so thin, pale, and scared, I would've called him nice to look at. It was hard to tell his age, but I assumed he was somewhere in his early twenties. Still just a kid... Thinking about Lonnie and how he'd treated him made my blood boil. I assumed this boy had not followed that roach willingly. How long had he been held as captive? How long did he have to suffer until his mind started breaking down? How long did it take until his sanity was completely gone?
Years. That was the answer.
I calmed myself and forced a smile onto my face. This boy didn't need my anger right now. He needed safety.
"I wish I knew your name," I told him. "I can't keep calling you a kid. You're a grown man. A young man, but still a man."
How could someone be so utterly shut down...?
"I know you saw me doing bad things today, but only because they were bad people, okay? You can trust me. You are safe with me. I would never hurt an innocent person. We do have a code we follow, after all. The governor would be much more interested in throwing my ass in jail if we didn't. We're all getting old, you see. I'm soon turning forty-six, and yeah, it's not that old, but she's got an army full of all these buffed twenty- and thirty-year-olds... Like pit bulls on steroids... You know, I'm not going to outrun them for much longer, so we try not to piss her off too badly. So yeah... We don't hurt innocent people. And people are buying less drugs these days. Not a lot of guns we can get our hands on, either. Kind of running out of business since we're not selling to roaches. It's all about bombs these days, anyway, and we don't deal with that shit."
I trailed off, scratching my beard. If I really wanted to see it, it looked like the kid's expression had relaxed just a notch.
I let out a sigh. Wishful thinking, that's all. The boy was just as afraid as he was with a gun down his throat.
"You'll be all right, boy. I'll figure out how to help you," I said. "At least we can try to find your family. Francis is good at finding people. You'll see. If they're out there, he'll find them."
His food was ready, so I gestured for him to take a seat at the dining table. I put my plate into the microwave, then brought his food to him and put it under his nose, but he didn't move a muscle.
"You have to eat," I said, giving him a fork. He took it, but only stared at the food. I pushed the plate a little closer to him. "You can eat. It's all for you. I have my own plate."
He didn't move. I pointed at the food, then at him, but no reaction. Now what?
"You know how to eat, right? Or do I need to feed you?" I asked, pulling a chair closer for myself.
When I still got no reaction, and I had no idea what else to do, I carefully reached for the hand he held his fork in, and helped him to pick a small piece of salmon. I did notice how easily he let me move his hand, with little to no resistance at all. I brought the fork to his mouth, which he opened as obediently as ever.
"Boy... That could be a pile of drugs. Poison, acid..."
He ate it, but it didn't really cheer me up.
"Can you do it yourself now?" I asked and slowly let go of him.
I thought he wasn't going to, but then, slowly, he moved his fork.
"Good boy," I said quietly, watching him closely.
And I was glad I did. Because I did not just imagine his head turning a little in my direction, his gaze quickly darting to me and back to his food. Oh, I saw it.
"You know I'm here," I whispered, smiling. "That's a really good boy."
I didn't get another reaction from him, but I was still busy celebrating the one I did, anyway. And he was able to eat on his own. Very slowly, but still.
As I watched him, his delicate features, high cheekbones, thick eyebrows, lush lips, I almost forgot my own food. I heard the microwave when it stopped, but my mind didn't quite register it. I leaned a little closer to the boy. His pupils were smaller now.
"You have nice blue eyes," I noted. "Now I can actually see the color. Does that mean you're not so scared anymore?"
He continued chewing and staring at his plate, but he was less scared now. He was a little softer around the eyes, and he wasn't covering as much.
"You'll be all right," I said quietly. "I'll take care of you."
Somehow, I remembered my own food. Even though I was still busy watching him, trying to catch him looking at me again – he did not – I still finished my food long before he reached halfway. His food had to be cold by the time he lowered his fork and his gaze, falling immobile.
"Are you full already?" I asked, peering at his half-eaten dinner.
The boy was so skinny... He wasn't used to having so much food. Or food at all...
"I hope you liked it," I said, taking his fork and maintaining my smile even though the rage was back. "My housekeeper is an awesome cook. I can barely boil water without burning the house down."
I wanted to believe he was actually listening to my ramblings, so I continued talking. I kept my voice light and tried to smile as much as I could to let him know I was friendly. He sat still with his hands in his lap, completely immobile, not giving even the smallest reaction to anything I said.
But there was a shift. It was so subtle I didn't really notice it at first, but eventually I understood he was getting sleepy. It was the way he blinked that gave it away. He was getting slow at opening his eyes.
"Enough of my ramblings. You need to sleep," I said, got up from my seat and gestured for him to follow me.
We returned to the entrance hall and climbed up the stairs. I wondered if he'd just keep following me until his legs gave out if I didn't ask him to stop. Again, I was disgusted. He was completely at my mercy. He'd been completely at that roach's mercy. He was just... accepting everything. Absolutely everything. If I were a worse person than I already was...
I shook my head and stopped behind my guest bedroom. The kid came to a halt two steps away from me. I glanced at him. He held his head down, accepting his fate.
It disgusted me so goddamn much...
I opened the door and entered the large bedroom.
"You can stay here. No one's going to bother you. There's a lock on the door, too. And your own bathroom. I can try to find some of my old clothes for you. They're smaller, so they should fit you. I should have them lying around somewhere. I don't really throw anything out. You know, one day I may try to lose some weight, so I can still use them."
The boy just followed and stopped in the middle of the room when I did. I turned to him and let out a quiet sigh.
"You're pretty clean, so I'm assuming you know how to use the shower, right?" I asked him.
No response.
"Boy... Don't tell me I have to show you how to use the shower," I muttered. "Come. I guess I can turn it on for you."
He followed me into the bathroom, where I stopped him next to the shower.
"See? You should take a shower. If I turn it on, you know how to turn it off, right?"
If it was just his alpha in charge... The alpha should know about showers, right? Even as a simple bundle of animalistic instincts, the alpha side in him should have figured out how to use the shower. Right?
"Okay, see this handle? You pull it up to turn on the water, and put it back down when you're done, okay?" I said, turning the shower on and off, but he wasn't actually watching me. He was still staring at his toes. "Man, your neck must be killing you..."
What the fuck was I doing...? This kid needed professional help. I should've taken him to a hospital. But he was wearing the terrorist emblem... I could give him a new set of clothes before taking him to a hospital, but...
I let out a sigh. No. He was better off with me. He'd just end up in the system. Or on the streets, since he was too old for anyone to care about him.
"You don't mind hanging out with us old mafiosos, right?" I asked him jokingly, but my laugh died away fast, and I sighed again. "Let me take that hoodie off you. No one needs to know where you came from."
He stood perfectly still while I carefully pulled the hoodie off him. Once it was off, he turned his gaze back down while I stared at his body. The skin and bones he was. The gray tank top he was wearing didn't hide anything. His ribs were almost literally poking through his skin. He had a few bruises and cuts, and I spotted some old scars on him. Nothing too severe, but it was clear he had gone through a lot of abuse.
"How are you still alive, baby boy...?" I breathed out.
I couldn't help myself. I carefully stepped in front of him, and even slower, put my arms gently around him. His body turned stiff, uncomfortable with this physical interaction, but I just... This kid was breaking my heart.
"You're safe now," I said, hugging him as gently as I could.
Since he didn't like what I was doing, I forced myself back in order, and stepped back, giving him a smile even though my heart was crying.
"You'll be fine now," I promised him. "I'll leave you alone now, so you can wash yourself."
I grabbed a towel from the wall and gave it to him.
"I leave the water running. I'll be right outside if you need anything," I told him, before turning the shower back on.
Before I left the bathroom, I took one more look at him. He held the towel, standing still in the middle of the room, his head down as always. I shook my head in sadness, then closed the door.
At least the roaches who did this to him were dead now.
I stood behind the door for a moment, listening to the silence in the bathroom. I heard no splashes, no interruptions in the steady drumming of the running water. He wasn't going to use it, but I still gave him his time in case he would while I went to find him clean clothes.
When I got back ten minutes later, there was no change in the sounds coming from the bathroom. The shower was still on, but he wasn't using it. I sat down on a chair, the clothes in my lap, and waited. And waited... I wasn't sure if I should check up on him in case he'd gotten rid of his clothes, but... I knew I was going to find him standing where I left him.
"May I come in?" I asked, knocking on the door. No reply, of course. "I'm coming in..."
I carefully pushed the door open, peering through the opening gap. Surprisingly, he was not where I'd left him. Was he actually using the...?
No...
I let out a deep sigh when the door was fully open, revealing the kid lying on the freezing tile floor, using the towel as a blanket, trying to fall asleep.
"That's not what I–"
I spooked the kid, and he tried to get up on his feet, but stumbled and fell back on his knees. He froze completely, his eyes wide, his breathing heavy, and his body shivering. He was scared out of his mind.
And I knew why.
"Did they hurt you when they caught you sleeping?" I asked gently, slowly sitting in front of him, trying to look as small as friendly as possible. "I'm not going to hurt you."
I carefully reached for his arm. When my skin touched his, he flinched, his body growing even smaller. I rested my hand on his shoulder, caressing him a little, trying to show him he wasn't going to get hurt.
"Easy there, baby boy. You're fine. I won't hurt you. I'd never hurt you," I kept muttering.
His body trembled whenever I moved my hand... He was so scared... I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the knowledge to help this kid. I was probably only making things worse for him. I feared he was going to die from fear if I didn't leave him alone.
"It's all right... You're all right... You don't have to be afraid of me. I'm here to help you."
And just when I was going to leave, his breathing changed, turning deeper. Like... like he had finally snapped out of it. It wasn't a big change, but it was a clear change.
"That's right... Good boy... Just breathe for me... Just breathe..."
He sounded like he'd just run a marathon. He still refused to move, and he definitely wasn't going to look at me, but his body followed the movement of his breathing more smoothly, the tension subsiding. Even his eyes softened a little.
"That's a good boy... See? I won't hurt you. You're safe here with me."
Little by little, he accepted my efforts as I kept soothing him. He stopped trembling every time I moved my hand, accepting my touch. He even lowered his head a little, relaxing his shoulders as his breathing grew steady.
"Maybe we should skip the shower, hmm?" I finally said. "You really need to sleep."
He tensed and pulled away from me when I got up on my feet, but he didn't get scared.
"Come. Let's get you to bed," I said, turning off the shower.
He slowly got up as well after I gestured for him to follow me, but his movements were weak. His steps were far from steady when he followed me to the bed. But there, his fear returned.
"I'm not going to hurt you," I reminded him gently when I realized why, then backed off. "I'll leave you alone now. No one's going to bother you tonight, or any other night again, I promise. You can sleep for as long as you want."
But of course, he didn't get in the bed.
"I can't let you sleep on the floor," I told him, and sat down on the edge of the other side of the bed. "I'm not going to touch you, I promise. But I need you to lie down for me."
I wasn't even going to bother with his clothes. The tight jeans he had on would probably feel very uncomfortable, but if he didn't want to take them off on his own, there wasn't much I wanted to do about that. I just needed to get him in the bed.
I patted the spot on his side, giving him a friendly smile.
"Come on, you need to sleep," I told him while pulling the covers out of his way.
He showed fear when he did as I asked, his body stiff once again. He lied down on his back and stared at the ceiling, clearly expecting me to take advantage of him. I tucked him in quite hastily, then retreated from the bed.
"All right... You just sleep for as long as you want, okay? Try to get some rest. You really need it," I spoke on my way to the door.
And before I closed his door... He gave me a quick glance. I smiled at him, and he turned away.
"Goodnight, kid," I said and left.
I still smiled when I made my way back downstairs.
Maybe there was still hope.
[Psst, Ream subscribers can read this chapter in The Kid's point of view]