Aria's POV:
Today, I was in good spirits. So much so that I decided to go to school, and earlier than eleven at that.
Did this cheeky attitude have something to do with my boyfriend making me feel like I could conquer the world last night? Maybe...
Feeling fresh and rejuvenated, I decided to put a little extra effort into my appearance today, just because. I'd stopped trying for school at this point in the year. Some sweatpants and a sweatshirt would always do the trick for that jailhouse they call a place of education.
Going with some tan high waisted jeans and this neutral colored, designed sheer shirt, I then threw on my Docs, gold jewelry, a messy bun, and headed out of my room.
To my surprise, Mo was already here in the kitchen, making......breakfast?
"We got company or something?" I asked in a hushed tone, brushing past him to get to the fridge.
My brother was cutting up fruit at the island counter. Before he could answer, a cheerful female voice came from the downstairs bathroom. My neck snapped her direction given I didn't recall having a sister.
"Hey, I love that hand soap in there, where did you ge-" she paused to acknowledge me with a smile. "Oh hi, you must be Aria, I'm Cheyenne!" She waved at me eagerly.
My mouth was slightly agape and my eyes were widened. I just stared at her for a second with amused disbelief. No way my idiot brother pulled someone this pretty, and nice.
I glanced between him and her before responding politely. "Hiii. You're my brother's girlfriend?"
We both turned to Mo, who appeared to be choking even though he wasn't eating or drinking anything. An intrigued smirk spread across my face. Cheyenne laughed it off a bit,
"Oh no, it's not like that. We're just friends," she said, flapping her hand.
Looking between them again, I smile. Mo looked up at me with pleading eyes, but I was reveling in this for sure.
"Just friends, huh?" My stare upon my brother was humorous. His lips pursed together while he cleared his throat,
"Aria, don't you have somewhere to be? You are still in school you know," he shot me a fake, sarcastic smile. I narrowed my eyes at him, still smirking,
"Sureee," I grabbed my things before turning to Cheyenne. "I guess I'll leave you two to it then." I made my way toward the door, waving at her. She waved back, smiling all hard,
"Byeee, nice meeting you!!"
"You too!" I just chuckled to myself, shutting the door behind me.
~~~~~~~~
Arriving at school at around 9:30, I walked right into the middle of second block. I had this class with both Sade and Hunter. None of us were ever in attendance though. I had fourth block with Sade as well. Given I hadn't seen or spoken to her, I hoped she'd be there. She should be okay now, right?
I strolled in, and to my surprise, Hunter was here as well, doing her work. Smiling, I sat in my assigned seat next to her.
"Girl, what the hell you doing here so early?" She chuckled to herself, shaking her head,
"Bitch...trying to graduate with decent grades," Hunter responded in a knowing tone. "I ain't been in this damn class in weeks; don't know what the hell been going on." I laughed, getting my things out as well.
"Crunch time is something serious-"
"Shit, tell me about it." We both sighed. "Luckily I did most of my missing stuff over the weekend, so it's not too bad." I glanced at her with knit eyebrows,
"You did school work on our trip?" She smiled, looking down a bit.
"It was the last night of us being there and look, Tina made me okay!" I laughed at her playful defense. "I told her how behind I was, especially in this class, and she was like 'oh uh uh,'" she imitated her girlfriend, rolling her neck and tuning her lips up. It made me giggle before proudly gazing at her.
"I remember you swearing up and down that relationships wasn't for you..." Hunter glanced at me with red cheeks. "Now look at you," I said.
"Yeah, it's crazy the way things have changed since the beginning of the year...for all of us really." Smiling to myself, I faced my laptop again, reminiscing. "Like I didn't speak to any of y'all besides Lauren at first, and now we're like this big ass friend group that I don't want to leave."
"I know right, I'm gonna cry when you guys leave."
She turned to me. "You're staying in Florida for college?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Dylan doesn't know that I know about his full ride scholarship to UMiami. And I know how much he wants to go-"
"He's probably just afraid to discuss it with you-"
"I know, but little does he know, I got accepted there too, scholarship and all. And I've never been too particular about what school I went to, so I thought why not just go together," I shrugged. Hunter smiled,
"That's so cute! And I heard King and Si are going to the same school as well, which I'm glad to hear."
"I know right, I couldn't imagine those two without each other now." There was a pause before I asked, "so what about you?" Hunter dreaded a sigh,
"I'm really not sure. Tina's attending medical school here, which had always been her plan. But I got accepted into NYU, and I think I want to go." I gasped a bit, raising my eyebrows,
"Oh so you'll be up there with Sade?!" A toothless grin crept onto her face,
"Yeah....that's if she even goes..."
"Oh honey she's going." I gave her a knowing look. "She's freaking out now, but she's going. I'm making sure of it." My tone held full confidence.
Hunter smiled, then it faded a bit. At first I wondered why, but then I realized....
"I'm sorry you two have to split," I said with utmost sympathy. My heart hurt for her. I knew she'd fallen hard for Tina in these last few months. "Are you not doing long distance?" I asked after a subtle silence,
"I'm not sure yet, but no, I don't think so," she shook her head. "We've been putting off talking about it for as long as possible....because if we talk about it, that makes it real." Hunter's head dropped as her voice grew soft. "And I don't want it to be real."
Feeling extremely bad for my friend, and even bringing it up, I reached a hand over to hold hers for comfort. She squeezed it tight.
"I'm sorry babes."
"It's okay, I'll be alright."
~~~~~~~
After realizing that it was Friday and my best friend hasn't been at school the entire week, nor has she spoken to anyone besides Kingston, I decided to finally pay her a visit. It was long overdue at this point.
Walking into her house, I was met with 'Thena and Lyric sitting on the couch, watching TV. 'Mara was in the kitchen fixing some food. They all smiled once they saw me.
"Hey A! Ain't seen you in a minute!" 'Thena jumped up to hug me and Lyric came right behind her.
"Yeah I know, I don't come over here as much as I used to-"
"It's okay, we know why," 'Mara said, coming past me from the kitchen. "Sade's upstairs by the way, good luck with that." She plopped on the couch next to Lyric and Athena with her plate of food, looking straight at the TV.
I frowned a bit. "Is it really that bad?"
They each gave me a look, sitting there like three peas in a pod.
"Girl she ain't left that room since she came back from Orlando," Lyric said.
"We tried to make her eat and stuff, but after a while we just gave up on it," 'Thena shrugged. My frown grew,
"Is she being a bitch or something?" They shook their heads,
"Not even that-"
"It's like she's not even here-"
"She's just dry and barely responsive," 'Thena concluded. "You ask her something and she just shrugs. And when you look at her, she just looks so..... far away."
"Unreachable," Lyric added, shaking her head. I did the same,
"Good lord," I sighed before turning to the stairs. "Alright, let me go see bout her. See y'all in a minute." They waved as I walked up there, thinking harder of what to say with each step.
Deciding to knock instead of just barging in, I spoke up after being met with silence.
"Sade, it's me," I muttered, laying my head against the door. Still, no response. I sighed, "can I come in, please?"
For a moment, I thought to just open the door once I was met with silence again. But then, there was shuffling on the other side of the door.
"Come in." Her voice was so soft and muffled, I'd have missed it had my head not been against the door. Slowly and cautiously, I turned the knob, pushing it ajar.
A softened frown spread across my face at the sight of my best friend. Not even five seconds of looking at her, I could see she'd lost some weight. She glanced at me upon my entrance and I could tell she'd barely been sleeping.
Sade was sitting in her bed, staring blankly at the black TV screen on the other side of her room. A hood was over her head, covering her entire forehead. The comforter was messily sprawled over the bed and her bare legs.
Has she really not left her bed in days?? It sure as hell looked like it.
"Hey Boob," I trailed with a light voice, walking on eggshells closer toward her. She briefly glanced at me again, mustering a very small toothless grin.
"You didn't have to come here, you know. The wedding's tomorrow, I'll have it together by then."
Those words made me frown as I sat at the end of the bed. "Sade-"
"How's Lauren?" Her attention suddenly snapped to me, and her expression was emotionless. "Is she okay?" Giving a look, I sighed,
"You can't seriously be asking about Lauren right now, when you look like this," my hand motioned to her. Sade smacked her lips, looking away,
"I'm fine A-"
"You're not. Don't bullshit me, I'm not going for it." Her eyes fell to her lap hearing the sternness in my voice and seeing the serious look on my face. "Had I known you've been locked in this room like this, I'd have come by sooner. You said you wanted space so I wanted to respect that, but I wouldn't have if I knew this is what you meant by 'space' Sade." There was an anticipating silence for a minute.
"I just-"
"Why're you bottling your emotions like this?"
"Because Aria!"
"Because what!?"
"Because I just...I feel like I shouldn't be feeling like this in the first place- I have no valid reason to. Like everything that's going through my head is invalid because it could be worse, so what right do I have to feel so....inferior?" She looked at me, her eyes longing for an answer that she knew I didn't have. My lips twisted in conflict,
"You can't do that to yourself Sade," my voice held a pleading tone as I tilted my head. "It's not healthy, and you know it."
Playing with her fingers, she hung her head as if tears were threatening to spill over.
"I know," Sade mumbled. With knit eyebrows, I reached for her hand,
"Do you feel like you have no one to talk to or something?"
"No it's not that at all, I just- I feel stupid talking about it. Like I just need to get over it already, but I-"
I quickly shook my head, squeezing her hand. "Nope, nuh uh- stop doing that." She looked at me,
"It's hard not to A. Like I'm aware of what I should do and how I should be handling this, but I- it's just-"
"I know," I sighed, letting my head drop. My eyes then drew to hers. "You need to get up though. Start somewhere."
Her face twisted emotionally, "Aria, I can't-"
"I'm serious Sade," I interrupted her plea, still holding her hand while beginning to stand. "And I honestly know just what to do, so get up," I pulled both her arms, though she fought me a bit. "And get dressed." Sade whined as I dragged her out of bed. "Come on, we're leaving this depressing ass room, asap."
~~~~~~~~~~
Sade's POV:
We went to Five Below, gathered some things for whatever she was trying to do, got food (my favorite at that), and drove to the lake.
It's about 5 in the afternoon in late April, so the sun was shining bright and the weather felt amazing. In addition to the way the light from the beams sparkled onto the deep blue water, it was a beautiful sight to see. This setting alone brightened my depressing mood. Maybe Aria was right, I did need to leave my room.
She parked the car and grabbed the bags of things we'd picked up.
"Come on," Aria instructed, getting out of the car. A deep groan stemmed from me as I followed her movements.
Aria held two blank white, clay plates, and two black sharpies. She kept hers and gave me mine. We stood at the front of the car, near the water and a speaker played music behind us as it sat on the hood alongside some snacks. Accompanied with the soft and soothing music was the sound of the water holding a peaceful tune, in its own world. My best friend ushered for us to sit on the blanket she'd laid out on the ground, then looked at me with a sigh of content,
"Alright, we're going to set a timer for about 30 minutes. And if you need longer than that, that's fine. But we're going to sit here, and write. Anything that's on your mind, that's troubling you, that you're too afraid to say aloud," her eyes met mine attentively as she spoke. I could feel another lump forming in my throat. "You write it on that plate; front and back if you have to. Any fears, negative thoughts, angry thoughts, all of it- write it down. And when you're done, let me know."
I was unsure of why we were doing this, in this way especially. If I wanted to write out my feelings, I had a journal at home for that, and Aria was well aware. Of course I trusted her though, so I gave her a nod and she started the timer.
About ten minutes in, I was writing down things I wasn't even aware I'd been holding in. Maybe it was the setting, but for some reason I felt okay letting it all out on this plate. And when I say everything, I mean everything. With each word, I felt more and more weight being lifted from me. Before now, I didn't realize I was carrying so much emotionally. It was draining the hell out of me, and I barely had a clue just how badly.
Of course, tears were pouring from my eyes, splattering without much time in between drops, as my hand went at a steadfast pace. I didn't pay it much mind, just sniffled through it as all of my attention focused on everything I had to say.
Aria was calm, doing her own writing as she sat close beside me. I'd hear a few sniffles from her as well, but they were quiet and minor. In the back of my mind, I hoped whatever she was writing about, she'd get through it. But at the forefront, were a storm of thoughts regarding my own issues.
Before I knew it, the timer went off, drawing me from the zone I was in. It was honestly perfect timing because I was just finishing up, and frankly, running out of space. It seems Aria was about done too when she turned the timer off and glanced over at me.
"You need more time?" Her voice was soft, yet a bit scratchy. I shook my head, revealing a toothless grin.
Sighing deeply, she draped an arm over my shoulders, prompting me to rest my head on hers.
"How do you feel?"
I sighed, "better." My answer was honest, more honest than it had been in a long time.
"Good."
"Thank you," I said, leaning away to look at her. Aria gave me a soft smile,
"Of course Boob. I've got you." She then hopped up, grabbing her plate. "Now for the fun part. Grab your plate."
I did so, following her a bit away from the water, a little confused.
"A, what are we doing?" I asked with a curious half smile. Stopping in her tracks, she turned to look at me, releasing a breath.
"Did you get everything out?" A grin tugged her lips, prompting me to bashfully mirror her expression.
"Yeah...surprisingly, I did."
"Great! Now smash it."
"Wait what?"
She smiled. "Smash. It." Aria turned away from me and extended her arms above her head, the plate in her hands. "Like this!" Just then, she brought it down to shatter upon contact with the concrete. The initial sound and sight of the action prompted my arms to fly in front of my face as my feet stumbled back, a shriek leaving me. Aria evoked a thrilled laugh. I looked at her as if she'd lost her mind, but amusement filled my eyes. "Okay, your turn!"
"A, you cannot be serious-"
"Oh I'm deadass. Smash the plate Sade." My face held an expression of disbelief. "Come on," she urged. "I promise, it feels amazing."
Shaking my head with a soft grin on my face, I turned from her, raising the plate up in my hands. For a brief moment, I closed my eyes, taking a breath. And without putting much thought behind my movements, I'd shattered my plate on the ground.
My plate, full of words that held every anxious, angry, fearful, uneasy, and depressed feeling and emotion of mine- it was in pieces, on the concrete before me. I released a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.
Aria was right, it felt amazing.
~~~~~~~