When you dedicate over half of your life to teaching a bunch of dumb and hormonal teenage witches and wizards, truthfully nothing much can surprise you.
You almost start to see things happen before they actually do— predicting friendships and relationships eons before they actually start.
For Proffesor Minvera Mcgongall, one such of these moments was the first time she ever saw Remus Lupin and Aveline Rosier interact when they were two chubby cheeked 11 year olds just trying to get through first year.
She very much knew (or at least hoped) that the two friends would one day become a little more then friends. She could see it in their blushing red cheeks and fumbling eyes whenever the other was around. She watched secretly, pretending she didn't notice the way they would stare at eachother in class as if the other was some sort of museum art piece.
So, she really wasn't all that surprised when she was doing her nightly hallway check the evening of the first night back after break, and found the two prefects lips locked in a comprising position in the dark corner (can these two really not keep it in their pants?).
"Good Merlin!" Mcgonagall hissed, causing the two to jump apart as if they had been electrocuted.
Getting caught by peter was bad enough, but Mcgonagall?— Remus and Aveline were ready to jump in a hole and die.
The Proffesor sighed, turning around and pressing her fingers to her forehead in a very- what-am-i-supposed-to-do-with-you-two-fashion.
"Sorry Proffesor," Remus began, his voice oddly high pitched and rambly. He was a red blushing mess, awkwardly running his hands through his hair as he cleared his throat. "We were uh- just doing our prefect duties."
The woman let out a scoff, turning to face them with a raised eyebrow.
"Well if prefect duties include having your tongue down Miss Rosier's throat, it looks like your doing very well Mr Lupin," the woman snapped sarcastically, and instantly both teenagers felt intense embarrassment flush in their cheeks.
It was literally like your mother catching you hooking up with someone— not on anyone's bucket list.
"We uh—" Aveline tried to start, trying to think of something she could say to diffuse the tensions.
The woman sighed another exhausted sigh, rubbing a hand down her exhausted face.
"I'm going to walk away, and pretend I never saw you two," she exhaled, and without another word she turned around promptly and walked away as fast as her feet could manage.
This was seriously getting ridiculous. It had been twice in a matter of a day, that the duo had been caught in a comprising position, and it was more so building up the wall of awkward between them then anything.
Remus cleared his throat, massaging the back of his neck as he stared down at the ground, trying to think of something to say besides let the the awkward tension spill over till it burnt.
"Well uh," he began, daring to pick his eyes off the ground to look up at her, "that was uh...."
He wasn't sure exactly what to say.
"Merlin," Aveline scoffed, cutting him off, rubbing a hand down her face. "That's was horribly embarrassing!"
The boy shrugged, "It could've been worse. At least we were standing this time."
He said it with a slight chuckle, which pissed Aveline off as she sent him a scowl and wacked him on the arm.
"Stop," she warned, as he continued to laugh as if it was the funniest thing in the world. "It's really not funny!"
Remus looked about to seconds away from combusting, but threw his hands up in a gesture of leaning no harm. For a moment he thought she was joking, till he saw the cross expression lacing her features as she crossed her arms. He could read her like an open book, and he could tell by the way her eyebrows were furrowed she really was upset.
"Oh come on Ave," he tried to reason, nudging her in the arm. "Do you know how many people Mcgonagall has probably caught snogging in the hallway? Sure it's a bit embarrassing, but it's not the end of the world."
As he said his mind was running through every possible scenario as to what was going through her mind, as his eyes greedily scanned over her face, trying to read it like a map to understand her more.
"It's not just—," She tired, the stopped herself and let out an irritated sigh. "Nevermind, your right."
Except her tone was still sharp and she turned to walk the hall without as much as a look at him. Her posture much too upright as her eyebrows never did unfurrow.
"Woah woah wait," he called, jogging a few steps to catch up to her and grabbing her arm. He turned her to face him, the boy looking down at the girl with much thought behind his brown eyes. "Tell me what's the matter."
"It's nothing," she said to him, though he could tell by the tone of her voice it really wasn't nothing. "Just leave it."
"Come on Aveline, I can see it your eyes something is bothering you. Just tell me. It's really not a big deal."
"I said just leave it," she snapped, and this time he could clearly hear the anger in her voice as she clenched her jaw, avoiding eye contact as best as she possibly could.
"Don't be like that, just tell me," he said again, not letting go of her arm.
She groaned in frustration, letting out a heavy breath as she took a step away.
"So this all really a joke to you then?" She finally said, motioning between them.
She finally looked up to meet eyes with him, and he could've sworn he saw the blue iris's threatening to overlow with tears.
"What do you mean—"
"I mean you seem to be fine with people catching us just snogging, and like.." she paused, at a lost for words.
It wasn't often that Aveline Rosier didn't know what to say, and Remus watched in alarm as she ran a hand through hair, biting her lip as she thought.
"I guess I thought I was more then just a snog to you."
Her tone was shaky, as if her voice was the earths surface and her emotion was the rocky earthquake causing it break and fracture. He could see it in her face so clearly— the face he could read like a wide open book— she was trying to hide her emotions from him.
But he could see the clear as day— despair, pain, hurt— painted across her pretty features all in the name of him.
That was the thing wasn't it ?
Remus was so certain that no matter what, he could only bring pain into her life.
If they made it official no doubt him being a werewolf would drag her down as it did him. Ruin her future of having children, a career, being happy.
But this? This snogging in dark corners and pretending they were nothing more then teenager hormones and roaming hands wasn't exactly working either.
Aveline Rosier was worth so much more then this, and it felt like a million stabs in his gut that he could never give it to her.
What's the old saying— if you love something let it go?
Well Remus was most certain he loved Aveline— not in the way he loved Sirius, James or Peter— but in the way the moon loved the sun. He worshipped her, she consumed him, he'd spend his whole life watching her from afar if it meant he could still have her in his life.
Though Remus Lupin was just a boy. A 17 year old boy with enough doubt in his brain to drown the planet jupiter with his worries. A 17 year old boy who could not possibly contain a love so deep for a girl who seemed to be destined for something so much brighter then him.
"Aveline..." he began, and all he could do was shake his head. His words pausing in the back of his throat like a hand was in his gut, dragging them back down.
She gulped, daring to look up at him with wide eyes, brimming with tears that glistened in the moonlight.
She couldn't blame him for what he thought, or how he felt. It just didn't make sense to her. For this feeling inside her chest when she was with him, couldn't possibly be made on just her own delusions.
It was consuming, it was burning, it was the type of connection that couldn't possibly be one sided.
She so badly wanted to turn her back and walk away, to avoid the confrontation of forcing him to look at his own feelings, to avoid the risk of being hurt.
But she couldn't. She needed to know.
She reached out, lacing their fingers together that fit like puzzle pieces.
"Remus," she paused, trying to find the courage as her eyes met his, "I'm can't keep pretending I feel nothing between us"
Her voice was shaky, a tear flipping down her cheek as she waited him to say anything really.
Though all the boy did was stare, with wide brown eyes as if he was a deer caught in the headlights.
"Aveline, don't do this," his voice was barely above a whisper, as he squeezed his eyes shut, not even daring to look at her.
If he did look, he knew it would be bad. He would confess his heart to her and her pretty blue eyes.
"No Remus you don't do this!" She said back, grabbing his face in her hands hoping it would get him to look at her. "You can't just keep snogging me like I'm nothing, and merlin I feel like I'm going crazy......"
She kept going on and on, Remus trying his best to focus on anything but her words.
He needed to do it.
He needed to grow a pair and tell her he couldn't be with her. That he was a mere werewolf who would drag her down, but he couldn't. Maybe he was selfish, or maybe it was the fates working to void him of his ability to speak in that very moment, but he couldn't seem to get the words out.
So as staring at her, pretty as a fairy in the moonlight with her magnetic blue eyes and glass like skin, Remus Lupin did perhaps the stupidest thing he ever could've down.
"Aveline?" he cut her off, his voice shaky as they locked eyes.
"Yes?" she answered, her voice small and timid.
"I'm fucking in love with you."
Out of all the things to come out of Remus Lupin's mouth, Aveline Rosier was most certainly not expecting that. Truthfully, Aveline had never had someone confess their love to her, she wasn't exactly sure what the appropriate reaction was?
Did she thank him?
Should she miss him?
Does she say it back?
All she could do was stare with her she slightly dropped, and head titled in a very confused manner. She supposed it was her fault for bringing this entire thing up, but truthfully she wasn't expecting that.
Remus Lupin, in love with her?
She felt like her heart was about to combust in million different particles of dust and matter.
This boy— this stupid skinny teenage boy with his floppy hair and crooked smile— somehow managed to create a never ending super-nova in her chest, that seemed to grown and turn whenever he was around.
"Er," Remus started awkwardly upon realizing she wasn't responding. His face grew hot as he scratched the back of his neck.
The only thing going through his head was how fucking stupid he was.
"I can go?" Remus squeeked out. "Maybe I'll go, give you some space—"
"No no no!" she practically yelled as he began to turn around, reaching out and grabbing his arm to stop him. She gulped, the feeling of their skin touching burning her fingers.
Aveline didn't know what she was doing. She didn't have the first clue on what she was supposed to do in this situation.
"Be my boyfriend," she suddenly blurted out, in a very rushed and almost sort of half screaming way.
Remus paused, his eyebrows knitted together. "Sorry what?"
Aveline didn't know how to respond to this, so she just waited.
And for a very awkward minute the two prefects stood in the dark hallway, Aveline still holding his arm and stared at eachother. Brown eyes meeting blue, as if they were trying to communicate what they weren't yet mature enough to say with their eyes.
Certainly he would say yes, he was in love with her, he just said so himself.
So nothing could prepare for her for what the boy finally did say.
"Sorry Aveline, no."
Then, as if she was nothing but a tree destined to live its life rooting in the ground, he turned away from her and walked down the hallway without another word.