The months I stayed here I lots of things, Nathan gave me my phone back. So I texted my mom saying I would be back. I packed up my things, and walked downstairs.
"Rose before you leave I want to show you something" he said
I followed him to the basement.
"Nathan, I have coke down here everyday for 2 months." I said
He looked down
"Everyday I add another Rose, and swap out the dead ones for new ones. I wanted to make sure that part of my day was spent for you. However that might be. I wanted to make sure part of you lived on wherever I was. So I would continue to love you. I don't want you to think this was just for you either, this is also for Lola. I never wanted to kill her, so I made sure that for the rest of my life I would come down here everyday and while tending to Roses think about what I did."
"Nathan, stop thinking you killed her." I said
"No, I did kill hero let her on that plane. I had a part in each one of those people posting their lives. I let it happen."
Confusion built up again in my chest.
"Nathan I need you to tell me the whole story." I said
"I'm not ready, one day." He knows there won't be a one day for us. I'm done trying, I'm done, I can't keep letting him break me.
"It's beautiful, can I take pictures?" He noddes and so I do. And then while he is sitting down a I take a picture of him. I want to remember his beauty. Im ready to forgive him, while he should have done more to protect those people, he didn't know what to do. I can't live hating him for ever.
"I forgive you" I whisper. He looks up at me, a single tear runs down his cheek.
"Thank you for everything Nathan. I literally will never forget you. My first love, my everything. He stands up and I kiss him. He wraps his hand around my waist and head. And we hug, I let myself love him one last time.
I walk upstairs and take in my last moments with him. This was hard but I'm done interviews, planes I'm ready to put this behind me. I kiss him one last time. I tell him I'm going to walk home. Then I leave, and I don't look back.
This is the end of us our story is over. And while it was so hard. It was amazing, he loved me hard, i might have fell first but he fell harder. I will always love him and thank him for that. Coming to terms with hard things is hard. I feel peaceful. 16 months ago my life fell apart. But he help me put it back together.
I cry all the way home. When I walk in my mom hugs me.
"What's wrong love?" She asks.
"I didn't go to Florida." I say
"What"
"Remember my boyfriend who died in the plane?" I ask
"Yes what about him?" She asks I love my mom she never asked about him.
"He didn't die, he found me in the coffee shop and I spent 3 months with him. He did a bad thing I won't say, his name is Nathan Kilgore."
"Oh honey" she knows
"I know our relationship wasn't ideal but I loved him more then anything. I still love him."
She hugs me and we don't say another word.
"I kicked your dad out."
I laugh
"Good." I say
. . .
It's been 2 years since I last have seen Nathan, I moved to Washington and continued collage.
I'm going to be a nurse because I want to help people. I want to do something good.
When I got home, I say down on the couch and did some homework. When I heard a knock, I got up and walked over to the door. Hopefully it's someone who isn't hot, i just go off a 13 hour shift my hair is in a messy bun. I have fluids on my scrubs, I have bags under my eyes and I probably smell really bad. When I open the door. Nathan I standing there.
What. The.Fuck.