TW: abuse (neck grabbing, wrist grabbing. )
"I'm not stuck."
"yes y/n, you are."
He parts his hand from your chin and attempts to wipe your smudged makeup from under your eyes. He sighs and turns to grab a t shirt sitting on his bed. He begins to wipe your face with it, and more tears fell as you looked at him. He wiped them too.
"Stop it, I can't keep up," he laughed, as they just kept falling. You giggled too and he finished.
"Thank you," you whispered. He nodded with an apologetic smile. He hands you the pen. You thank him once more and take a few rips, trying to make yourself feel better.
"So where are you from?"
"New York."
"City?" he asks. You nodded, pulling your night dress down. "I've been there before. Strange city but... amazing."
"Yeah. I agree," you laugh. "I miss my house. I miss my room."
"Mm my flat was pretty small. Same with my room. Bloody tiny. You're a lucky girl."
Not really.
"...I'm really tired. I should probably go back down there."
"Oh. Alright. Goodnight y/n."
"Goodnight Sam. ...Thank you."
He nodded and watched you disappear down the ladder. You crawl back over Nick and mange to wreath back into his arms.
You listened to the sound of his heartbeat and the faint music from Sam's headphones. They didn't work very well because you fell asleep to the sound of The Byrds, The Cranberries, and what you were sure was the Beastie Boys. He was really sweet.
***
In the morning, you woke up to a warm feeling on your lips, making you smile. When you felt a cold hand on your head, moving your tussled hair, your eyebrows furrowed and you were met by Nick. He gently kissed you and smiled when he saw your eyes. You were nearly blinded by the sunlight reflecting off the white walls as it shone through the windows high up towards the ceiling.
"Good morning princess."
"Good morning," you mumbled, blocking the light with your hands.
"You gotta get up."
You sat up and looked around at the guys getting ready in their black jackets over their white shirts, spraying cologne, and combing hair.
"Nick."
"What?" he says, turning around, revealing his bare torso. He was absolutely jacked. His body was perfect and he looked so strong.
"Uhm, I need clothes."
"Shit," he mumbled, looking down at his watch.
"A-And I need my toothbrush, and makeup and my bag-"
"Hey, relax."
"Shit, here," Charles says, handing you a blue collared shirt and gray crewneck.
"Bottoms?" You asked through a weak, nervous smile. Sam jumps up.
"Grace has her stuff here."
That's when it hit you. You now remembered sitting at the lunch table, seeing her on his lap as she and her friend made you cry in front of everyone. Also the girl who got yelled at by Cordelia as she was whispering about you with Alice. Grace.
He comes to you with a skirt. You slip it on and it falls to your knees. The waist was too big and sat like row-rise jeans. You go to the bathroom quickly to fix your hair and tie a hair elastic to tighten your skirt. Nick comes in the bathroom and pulls you out. Before you head out the door together, you turn around.
"Sam, ..tell your girlfriend she's a fat fuck."
Well deserved.
You walked out the door and Nick quickly followed. He grabbed your neck and pushed you against the hallway wall.
"What's your fucking problem?"
"Let it go Nick, you heard what she said to me. At lunch." you huffed, looking up at him as he kept his grip. You look down at his arm and back into his eyes. He bites his lip in anger. That's when a door closes, followed by the sound of laughter. Nick quickly moves his hands to your side and gently kisses you as they walk by. You shove him away once they were out of sight.
"Hey! Stop being a bitch, what the fuck y/n?" He grabs your wrist and you quickly pull away.
"She shouldn't be dating him. She's awful. So don't grab me like that."
"Just behave yourself. That's not your place, you're a year one."
You rolled your eyes as he pulled you along and you finally got to your dorm. All the girls were at breakfast already. You quickly changed out of the skirt and put on one of yours. You grabbed your bag and went to Nick. He was sat on your bed and once you faced him, he grabbed the back of your legs, pulling you to him as he squeezed your ass and sat you on his thigh.
"You gonna be a good girl today?" You look into his eyes and nod. "And what are you going to tell Miss Goode when she asks what happened last night?"
"...That you brought me to my dorm."
"That's good princess," he whispers, stroking your cheek. He brings you in for a kiss and you look at the small clock on your bedside table.
"We're gonna be late."
"We have time," he mumbles, pulling you closer and starting to get to your neck. You close your eyes and sigh with pleasure, but push him away, getting off of his thigh.
"I- I want to get a coffee. Please Nick let's go."
He sighs as you pull him up to join you. You head out the door and to the dining hall. You rushed to the iced coffee line and he stood with you, holding your bag.
"See? I told you that you wouldn't be late. We still have seven minutes. Silly girl," he says, roughing your hair. You whine a bit and desperately fix it, making him laugh. You got your coffee and you both sat down for the few minutes you had left of breakfast. The first thing you noticed was that Cordelia was no where to be seen. Good thing you had her first for study. You just wanted to see her, feel something familiar again. At least cared about by another person for something other than your looks or body. You kept mental notes on Nick.
No. 1: Probably using me.
You'll never forget what your mother said.
"In none of these situations do they love you y/n, they probably don't even like you! No one cares about your personality and if anyone tells you that, they're a fucking liar. They use you for your body and your looks and you let them."
Nick was probably one of those cases. But you couldn't deny yourself the pleasure of being wanted. Of him wanting you around and treating you like his special girl.
"Thank you for letting me get a coffee. You seemed in a rush," you laughed, taking the straw in your mouth.
"Of course princess. I want you to get some food too."
"Okay, yeah that would be good but I'm not super hungry so..." you replied with a forced smile. You just want to please him so he won't bother you about it. He went up to get you food anyways and you remained alone. Looking around, you spotted that girl Alice from English class and her friends, including Grace. She was sat on Sam's lap once again. Your blood boiled at the sight.
Nick soon came back with a donut.
"Ew"
"What?"
"I hate donuts."
"..Are you really not hungry?"
"Yes I promise. I don't want anything."
"Okay," he said, unsure.
"...Come on we should get going," you said, breaking the short amount of silence. You pull his hand and leave the dining hall, eager to get to your first class with Miss Goode. Before reaching her classroom, Nick pulls you aside and places his hands on your shoulders, leaning a bit to get to your height.
"Listen, I don't want to have to have any problems with Miss Goode. Got it?"
You nodded. "I think she's weird. But you promise you won't tell her about last night?"
"I- I promise. But she's not weird. She's nice."
"Come on princess let's go," he whispered, kissing your cheek and walking with you to the library. You insist on taking your bag and books back so Cordelia wouldn't see him carrying them for you but he dismissed it. You enter the library and sit down shamefully at one of the tables and Nick sat at the one he was assigned. You glanced at Cordelia and she nodded her head, motioning for you to go to her. You nervously stand up, feeling the girls from yesterday's eyes on you.
"Good morning Miss-"
She stood up, nodding to the side once again, walking you behind a bookshelf to speak in private.
"Are you alright? What happened?"
"I'm fine...Nick brought me back to my dorm and-" She tuts, tilting her head, obviously catching your lie. "What?" you say with furrowed eyebrows.
"That's not true is it y/n?"
"It- it is Miss Cordelia. I don't think he meant any trouble-"
"Who's sweatshirt is that? It certainly isn't yours, that's one of the boys uniforms."
"...It- it's Nick's... I was cold.."
"Why are lying to me y/n? I thought- I thought we were getting along well.. you can be honest with me. Did he take you to his dorm?"
Tears brimmed your eyes. You hated lying to her. You couldn't do it, you couldn't build a relationship on lies. Her eyes dug into yours, looking for an answer, for the truth.
"Yes. I'm sorry- please don't be mad," you started taking sharp breaths. "I wanted to stay with you, I'm so sorry Cordelia."
"y/n, calm down. It's okay. What happened to you baby? What's wrong, why are you crying?" she asked with the most sorrowful eyes you had ever seen. She strokes your cheek, wiping the tear. As she got closer to you, she could see your neck lined with hickeys.
"I don't want to talk about it here."
"There has to be some time in the day he'll leave you alone. You can come to my house and we can talk. I'm worried about you y/n. But I'm here for you always alright?"
"I- I didn't ask for this.. I'm just- my mind feels so disorganized and.. confused," you said, looking at the ground, knowing full well you were talking about the internal conflict between her, and Nick. She holds your cheeks in her hands.
"Y/n. It's okay sweetheart," she whispered, wiping your tears once more. "Don't cry sweet girl. I'm not upset with you at all. It's not your fault. ...Hey, there's something I forgot to tell you. Ballet tryouts are soon."
"There's ballet here?" your eyes lit up as you finally made eye contact.
"Yes. Something you'd be interested in?"
"I did ballet until I was thirteen.. then my mom pulled me out because she thought I was too old for it. I loved it. She just didn't want to pay for it and bring me there every night. ..I'd love to do ballet again."
She was glad the conversation had calmed you down like a baby with a pacifier. She took you in her arms.
"I'm so glad. I'm the instructor."
"Really? You're a ballet instructor?"
"Well.. nothing professional. I'm the only person who was willing to do it but I took classes for 18 years and an instructor for 6 so... You'll be okay. Come to my place right after school got it? He comes knocking on my door, and we're not home." You nod and she pulls back to wipe your tears. "Go on sweetheart."
You scurry back to your desk and of course, Nick was glaring at you. You look at him and smile but he only returned with looking you up and down.
You pulled out some history work from yesterday and got straight to work. That was until you felt a presence over you.
"Mind if I sit?"
You look up and see a girl with dark hair, heavy eye makeup, and a septum piercing.
"Uh no not at all," you replied, moving your books out of the way.
"I'm Elizabeth. It's nice to meet you."
"You too, I'm y/n," you said with a smile. She was the first girl you had a nice encounter with.
"Oh I know who you are. You're Nick Blanc's girlfriend."
"I'm not his girlfriend."
"Oh. Well I had heard-"
"Exactly. You heard. It's no one else's business and it's not true."
"Hey love, I'm sorry I really didn't mean any trouble. I know half the things that come out of these people's mouths are bull shit, I didn't know it was over exaggerated. My apologies."
"...It's alright. ..I just really don't know why everyone is talking about me."
"Well it's because you're a year one and Nick is already the star of the fucking show here. Eyes are everywhere and people get bored they just need something to talk about. And his... scandals last year. But that doesn't mean we have to talk about it. I noticed your accent, where are you from?"
"...I'm from New York."
"Oh wow. I've always wanted to go there."
"Yeah I miss it. Where are you from?"
"Yorkshire."
You just nodded with a smile and continued your work as you held a light conversation. She was really nice to you and was actually very funny. You had accidentally let out a loud cackle that sounded through the library. You expected Cordelia to look up with disapproval for being so loud but she had a smile on her face. She was so glad to hear you laugh and see you smile with someone.
Nick, not so much.