"He called me his husband" Xiao Zhan says for the first time Bina was asleep beside him not letting him go Sizhui was cuddled up beside him on the other side. He was the only one left while the others had gone to fulfill their schedules before calling off. "But I am not"
"you have a child together" Sizhui murmurs
"not officially" Xiao Zhan looked at Bina "he was supposed to be once we were both in China, I am going to take him to bed" He carries Bina
He lies beside Bina following his rhythmic breathing "what am I going to do now? We were not together anymore and it still hurts. What will I do? Are you going to be with me? It's terrifying for me now and I don't want to be alone" Xiao Zhan cries himself to sleep that night.
...
Wooseok was not even aware of what was going on. He understood that the friend group had lost a friend, his husband had lost his childhood friend 'his brother from another mother' and everyone around him was grieving. Not to even start with, his best friend who had lost everything, to Wooseok Xiao Zhan had started to shut himself from everything.
"What do you mean by cutting his sabbatical time" Wooseok spoke on the phone "He was put on forced leave for 6 months it has only been 2 months he can't cut his leave time short that's unacceptable" Wooseok took a deep breath "What do you mean he was approved to come back who in their goddamn minds would approve" Wooseok sighs "of course she would more complicated cases are coming in and they need their top surgeon back, fine just keep an eye on him for me until I come back" his eyes follow Seungyoun coming out of their room for the first time in a week after the funeral. "I'll see you soon, keep me updated"
"Afternoon" Wooseok joined them in the kitchen
"Mn"
"Are you looking for food I can whip you up something" Wooseok said and opens the fridge
"It's fine" Seungyoun shakes his head no.
"Don't worry it will be quick and easy" He navigates his husband's sunken body to the dining table.
He quickly whips up leftover rice and vegetables.
"Here," he places water beside him.
Seungyoun nods and gets to eat.
In the middle of his meal, Seungyoun breaks down sobbing.
"Honey" he stands beside Seungyoun hugging him tightly.
"He's gone" Seungyoun holds on Wooseok's hands tightly
"It's fine I am here I am sorry" Wooseok hugs him tight
A day passed, a week passed, even a month passed and Wooseok watched as Xiao Zhan deteriorated. He had completely shut himself off, stopped talking to his family and friends, and stopped attending family dinners. He avoided human interaction as if it was a fluke.
"Look at him go" Xingchen stood beside Wooseok, Sizhui, and Jiang Cheng. "as if nothing happened"
"I am worried for him" Sizhui's voice wavers
"It's like he has this wall around him" Jiang Cheng sighs "bastard why did he come back in he's allowed to grieve even though he was an ex"
"He changed his key locks and password" Wooseok chimes in
"Eh" the three look at him
"I tried to deliver food last week and I couldn't get in"
"Is he avoiding us?" Sizhui asked
"He's doing a good job then" Xingchen scoffs turning around "Friday we're going to his house and forcing ourselves in back to his life"
"Yeah I missed that little bunny anyway" Jiang Cheng goes back to his department
"I'll keep an eye on him" Sizhui nods to his silent request.
Wooseok follows Xiao Zhan's work through his department's patients. During his life doing what he does he has come across death more often than an average person. He knows what to do in that predicament they had taken classes and training on what to do and how to handle it. The hospital even had therapists and consultants to refer to free of charge or as well covered by the hospital. But the training never said anything about what to do if he ever was in his shoes now.
---
"What if he doesn't come?" Sizhui glanced at the door nervously hoping the familiar face would walk through.
"The medal and everything will be given to Yibo's family" Wooseok eyes follow the door.
"We still have 5 minutes" Xingchen kept opening and exiting their chat group.
"He's going to come baba" Xichen comforted his father
"I can't help and be a nervous son"
"Have faith, for Yibo he wouldn't miss this"
---
"Blessings don't want to go in," Bina asks
"No" He shakes his head "I really want to go in but I can't"
"Is blessings scared" Bina looks up to Xiao Zhan with those expectant eyes.
"I think so"
"Then blessings hold my hand and not be scared because I am here" He reaches out his hand latching it on Xiao Zhan
"Yeah I will that's nice of you thank you" Xiao Zhan tries to fight back his tears
"Mn" Bina nods "Promised Bobo to protect Blessings"
Xiao Zhan chokes up looking at the sky trying to fight back tears, why was it so hard?
---
"He's here" Jiang Cheng points out to the two figures coming in. They all exhale in relief.
"Should we" Sizhui suggests with his head
"No" Wooseok shakes his head "let's wait"
---
Xiao Zhan looked around and the place was filled with military officials and nearly half of the room was filled with VIP government officials. They were all here for Yibo. Which had him wondering what type of work Yibo did in the military.
"Xiao Zhan"
He turns around to come face to face with Wang Yibo's father.
"Wang Ren" Xiao Zhan stood before Bina in a defense form. the last time they had seen each other they didn't end it on the right foot.
"Let me show you your sit" Wang Ren takes a step back not wanting to be overwhelming towards the two. "You should not stand over here, the family sits over there Yibo would not want this"
Xiao Zhan could see Wang Ren was very stiff saying that to him. He glances at Bina and then at Wang Ren he then looks back to his friends who were encouraging him to go with Yibo's dad. sighing he takes Bina's hand following Wang Ren. Just for today, he was going to put aside his anger toward the man for Yibo.
The ceremony takes place, and a lot of high officials make their presence known. Seungyoun and the others do their part saying their speech since this was also part of their retirement ceremony. The hard part of the ceremony was where Xiao Zhan had to listen to Yibo's colleagues talk about him singing praises. He starts to see how his ex-husband had an impact on others.
He looks at the soldiers who are walking by him dropping down single orchids on his lap. He listened to their well wishes and condolences 5 soon became 10, 10 became 20, 20 became 50 soon one couldn't see his lap. He couldn't breath even if he tried, taking deep breaths weren't helping him the more he did the more he felt his chest be more painful as if thorns were growing inside piercing his heart and chest slowly apart. This was the type of pain he couldn't even explain as a doctor the type of pain he couldn't express as a person. It felt like there was a cancer cell inside of him killing him slowly.
It wasn't long after the ceremony had ended. Xiao Zhan tries to stand up from his seat and his legs give out.
"Blessings" Bina who was holding all the flowers tried to help him up.
"Are you okay?" Wang Ren helps him up on his feet. He instantly frowns feeling how light he was "when was the last time you had a meal"
"I am okay" Xiao Zhan nods he takes a step forward but his legs buckle
"Let me help you" Wang Ren supports him as they walk outside to the others.
"Are you sure it's okay to leave him" Sizhui asks
"We're not leaving him, we are going to be right beside him no matter how much he's going to push us away" Jiang Cheng looks at Xiao Zhan and Bina gets into a car leaving.
"Is blessings okay" Bina asks
Xiao Zhan nods silently giving the kid a small smile. He looks at Bina and wanders where he would be if he wasn't there with him, would he have gotten out of his house in the first place even.
"Do you want to go there" Xiao Zhan points at the pet store Bina nods
He stops the car parking it before unbuckling Bina going to the pet store.
"Do you want a pet?" Xiao Zhan asked Bina who was looking at a bunny intently holding a staring competition with it.
"MN" Bina nods not removing his eyes from the spotted bunny
"Do you want this one" he points at the spotted bunny
"I like it" Bina nods
"Ready for your new friend" Xiao Zhan asks while helping the store worker sort out the bunny hatch in the car.
"Are we taking him home" Bina asks from his car seat
"Yeah" Xiao Zhan ruffles his hair
"Thank you blessings" Bina kicks his feet
"Anything for you" Xiao Zhan closes the door going to the drivers side
"Where's Bina" Jiang Cheng asks
"Yibo's father took him out for lunch" Xiao Zhan tells them as he sets the table for their lunch. Xingchen spits out the water he was drinking
"The fuck do you mean by that" Xingchen asks
"I think he said Yibo's father took him out for lunch" Sizhui repeats
"The sentence feels so wrong" Wooseok sits at the dining table.
"Why" Xiao Zhan asks
"Are you sure that really happened cause it sounds like bullshit" Jiang Cheng joins them.
"It sounds unbelievable but Wang Ren has been connecting with Bina ever since the memorial today is the first time they are out together alone" Xiao Zhan shrugs
"What about you" Wooseok asks
"Me I'm fine just here" Xiao Zhan shrugs
"That's great we don't want you to be there we want you to be here right now with us" Wooseok says the last part softly and delicately
"And we want you to lean on us even if it can be hard to do so" Jiang Cheng adds on
"Even if you don't want to talk that's fine we can still understand you because you are ours" Xingchen touches Xiao Zhan's hand
"And if you don't want us to see you cry we'll turn and look at the wall just don't push us away we want to be here with you not from later but from right now" Sizhui looks at Xiao Zhan who was getting teary eyed.
"Thank you guys" Xiao Zhan wipes out his tears "i really needed that"
"So what are you up to this days" Wooseok asks once they settle down on the couch. It felt like they haven't taken the time to hang out and just talk for a while.
"Yibo's estate lawyer called me the other day and asked me to be present for his will to be read" Xiao Zhan tells them after a while
"And" Xingchen looks at him suspiciously
"I have been trying to ignore her calls you know" Xiao zhan shrugs "i don't know she got in touch with my lawyer and told him the will can't be read unless I am present it's one of the will clause"
"Doesn't it take a while for the will to be read it's only been two months since you know" Wooseok avoids the mention
"Can't they give you time" Sizhui asks
"Some families do it right away after the funeral service others do the day after while others do a year from the passing" Jiang Cheng fills in the rich people shenanigans.
"You should do whats best for you" Wooseok rubs Xiao Zhan's back "that's all that you should do right now only think of yourself and Bina too"
There for now