Leo's Pov:
I shut the door quietly as I left.
Swallowing back any amount of emotion that I had. I had nothing to say, I mean how else was i supposed to get her to trust me.
I had failed.
Utterly and miserably failed.
Failed to protect her, make her feel safe around me, and failed to properly love her.
I leant against the door, my back on the doorframe as I felt my legs weaken.
How come there were no words, nothing I could find, to tell her just how much I didn't car about those marks, to me those marks never stopped her looking any less beautiful to me.
I squeezed my eyes shut as I heard her faint sobs through the door.
My heart was being strangled.
My lungs were dying as I tried to take another breath but it was useless.
I don't think that I would ever be able to forget these sobs.
Never.
I didn't realise that i was now on the floor, my body had just given up, because without her, I don' think that i could ever go back to my life of solitary.
When I had felt Aria's body give up in my arms, I had given up on living my own.
What was the point? How did anyone expect me to?
Those 2 days that I had spent waiting for her to wake up were the most longest nights i had experienced, the worrying, the hoping, the waiting.
Watching someone you love die is an image that you'll never forget.
Especially their smile. The way they looked at you smiling as they tore down your entire world.
My mother had smiled. But not at me, to herself. My brother had too.
Aria had.
Perhaps it was my own fault.
Perhaps i should have known better.
That me loving someone was a death sentence for them.
Aria had every right to break up with me, every single damn right. But right now i couldn't eave her.
I know it was selfish.
I know that this just makes me a bastard.
But was it so wrong to want to love?
No.
I shook my head.
It seemed that everyone else in the whole world had the right to love but me.
Everyone around me was allowed to fall in love with someone worth loving. Yet for me no mater how many times i tried to, life always seemed to pull them away from me.
It told me to stop being selfish.
But why me?
What had I done to deserve this?
Every single time.
Every single day.
Whenever I found myself becoming too demanding, too needy, too damn happy.
It would always smack me right back in the face. Telling me to stop, to stop asking for more then i needed.
To stop being greedy.
Greed.
Selfishness.
Hate.
How could a heart feel so much at the same time.
These feelings interlocking and created a thread. Each fibre twisting and turning, greed, overlapping the selfishness, the hate overlapping all.
The thread slowly tied around my heart, strangling it like how an snake would, to kill it's prey.
My heart always seemed to try and kill itself when I couldn't deal with these emotions. It had been trapped now.
The thread pulling tighter and tighter until it knotted itself.
I tried to breath.
I could feel each individual fibre of the thread, the hate cutting into me, making my heard bleed, the selfishness loose, it wasn't as strong as the hate, nothing could be as strong as the hate.
I don't know how to sever the thread, I never once figured it out.
I just wait.
I wait until it knots tighter and harsher.
Until every drop of blood has been taken out of my heart.
Until I am all but empty.
I never managed to truly be empty, never. That's the way my body tries to defend itself.
"Sir,"
I blinked my eyes open.
My face emotionless as I looked up to see Madden looking down at me, worriedly. His hair tie
"What." I blankly answered.
That was when I noticed the tray in his hands, food.
"You need to eat, you haven't eaten in 3 days." He sighed.
I shook my head. "I don't want to."
"You cannot starve your-"
"I can decided what I want to do." I snapped.
He bit down what ever he wanted to say next.
"Look, I've bought a plate for Miss Aria, why don't you and her eat together." He suggested hesitantly.
"Take the food for her." Was all I said.
Madden gave a sigh but nodded. I stepped out of the way of the door as he knocked on it.
"Miss Aria, I've bought some food, may I come in?" he politely asked.
"Yes." A croaky sounding voice spoke.
He opened the door and walked in slowly. The door slowly closing behind him.
It took everything out of me to not have followed him, but I respected her wishes and stayed out.
I had promised her that if she wanted anything that all she had to do was call.
Then, I heard the tray tipping over onto the floor as Madden screamed my name. I rushed in I didn't even think twice as I slammed the door open and ran inside.
The first thing I saw was blood.
Aria was sitting on the bed, her hands covered in blood as tears dripped down from her face.
I scrambled over to her, just as she heaved over letting out a fit of violent coughs.
My eyes widened as I saw blood coating her hands and the blankets as she looked up at me fearfully.
My own eyes mirroring hers.
I knelt down beside her, grasping ono her hand.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry." I muttered to her as I pulled her closer to me.
She coughed again, more forcefully this time, I could feel her whole body shaking.
"MADDEN CALL PARIS.NOW. GET CHARLES HERE IMMEDIATELY." I ordered.
I didn't even watch as she ran out of the room.
"Am I really dying?" Aria whispered, clutching onto my white shirt with her bloodstained hands.
"No." I shook my head, "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry."
"For what?" She murmured.
"For falling in love with you. I'm so sorry for loving you. You never deserved that." I gasped.
She shook her head.
"No." Was all she managed to get out. "It was an honour."
And she shut her eyes.
I sat there frozen.
At least she didn't smile this time.