Oscar asked Jeanette out.
Not a date. Just to hang out.
Without their classmates, just the two of them.
Jeanette felt like having no other choice but to agree. She was sure he didn't do it to confess - she was sure he felt no such feelings towards her.
Her feelings, though, did not change. She couldn't help it.
She did not want to feel it. She didn't want to be with him as friends, but at the same time, she craved it.
She felt disconnected and torn.
Oscar pleaded to be friends again, but she wasn't sure if she can keep up, if she can make it.
Later that day, after school, before their meet up, she found her comfort behind the locked door of the bathroom.
And she quickly left before her parents came home. They won't probably like it if they won't find her on her room by the time they come back from work, but Jeanette felt such an urge filling her, that she felt as if she can take on their wrath without a blink of an eye. She promised to meet Oscar and even if she still wasn't sure if she really wanted to as she was stepping outside, she had to.
Promise was a promise and she finally wouldn't let her parents say anything to her, yell at her and forbid her from going, simply because they couldn't tell her what to do if they were at work.
And then, when she'd come home, she was ready to take on their screams. She won't let them make her cry anymore.
They weren't worth her tears.
Just as Oscar wasn't worth them either. He didn't deserve her feelings if he couldn't return them.
About all of this Jeanette thought as she was walking to the park.
There was a knot of nerves tickling her stomach when she had left, but the nearer she came, the more peaceful she felt.
Oscar did not deserve Jeanette's love, she knew now.
And so she will not give it to him anymore.
Well, little did she know it was easier said than done.