"Nines, answer me!" You exclaimed while he just stared at you.
He was crying.
Nines was sat on a chair at the table and he was crying, the voice recorder still in his hand.
"Nines..." You muttered as you approached the table and pulled one of the chairs out putting it in front of Nines.
His LED was glowing red while he stared at you in shock, the moment you sat down he lifted his free hand to his face and wiped away the evidence of his crying. But there was no hiding it because you'd already seen him crying,
"Nines... talk to me..." You demanded reaching out to Nines's free hand that he'd just pulled away from his face. "I-I cannot... l-listen to it any-anymore..." Nines breathed out as he dropped the voice recorder onto the table, an extremely sad look in his eyes.
"Nines... are you a... I mean have you... have you Deviated?" You asked in complete disbelief from seeing him cry, that was one thing you never thought you'd see Nines do.
Nines just sat there in silence, the LED on his temple glowing red, while he stared into a space right in front of him.
"Nines, have you Deviated?" You asked again as he looked up at you properly, gently nodding his head yes. "Just now? You just Deviated?" You questioned as the look in Nines's eyes changed, another tear tumbled down from his eye.
It was clear he was ashamed to talk about it and it was just making him more upset, standing up you close the door and move back over to him. You were now stood beside him placing your right hand onto his left cheek you pull his face towards your stomach. Nines didn't fight you instead just let his cheek land onto your stomach.
"It's okay, Nines, I know you're probably confused." You soothed while running your fingertips across the cheek that wasn't pressed up against your stomach.
"No... I'm not... I feel... g-guilty..." Nines mumbled as he pulled his face away from your stomach and looked up at you his face was very guilt ridden. "Why do you feel guilty?" You questioned him worry filling your mind.
"I-I did not just Deviate..." Nines mumbled as he looked away from you.
"What do you mean? But... you're... you're a Deviant though right?" You asked now feeling more confused than anything else, had Nines not actually Deviated?
"I am a Deviant... yes... but it did not just happen now..." Nines answered as you took a seat opposite him once more, making him look away even more. "You mean you've been... a Deviant for longer?" You questioned feeling so many of your own emotions surface in your mind.
"Yes..."
"How long?" You asked but he stayed completely silent as his gaze stayed away from you, you were trying to stay calm and not be mad at Nines. It was clear he was struggling... he hadn't fully come to terms with the fact he was a Deviant. "Nines... you need to tell me..."
"Please do not be mad at me... Y/N..." Nines begged as he looked back to you his eyes wide with fear in them.
"I won't be... please Nines tell me when..."
"When we were attacked..." Nines admitted making your mouth drop open, shock filled you. 'He's been a Deviant this whole time?' You wondered to yourself, while staring at him. "I was just so angry... my software wanted me to put you at risk and I could not do it. I did not want to put your life at risk. So I went against it."
"You said you'd tell me, Nines..." You mumbled utterly confused and upset, he'd promised to tell you when he Deviated. But he didn't.
"I know, but I was scared... I thought Connor would make you get rid of me... because he does not like me... and then when you both broke up you were too upset and I knew you would be mad at me... it was just easier to pretend to be a machine still..."
"I'd never get rid of you Nines... not even if Connor asked me to... you've been listening to these this whole time... with emotions." You said pointing towards the voice recorder and Nines nodded in response. "Why?"
"Because I thought I could keep my emotions at bay... because I did not want you to listen to them, but I cannot do it anymore, Y/N. I just cannot do it anymore." Nines told you his voice cracking as he spoke, he then began shaking his head repeatedly. "It's okay, Nines, you don't have to. Okay I'm not going to make you." You reassured him as you leant forward in your chair and grabbed both sides of his face and run your thumbs over his cheeks. "What was on this one?"
"I do not... I do not..."
"It's okay, don't worry... it doesn't matter... are you okay?" You asked him while rubbing his cheeks, softly.
"No... I am not okay..." Nines mumbled to you, his eyes holding their gaze with yours.
"Do you need a proper hug?" You asked him watching as his eyes filled with emotion that he knew he could finally show you. "I would like that..." Nines replied making you let go of his face, but before you could stand up and ask him to stand too you were pulled from your chair by Nines.
He pulled you towards him as he lifted your legs so you were now sat on his lap, Nines wasted no time in burying his face into the side of your neck, while both of his arms wrapped around you. 'I'm sitting on his lap... and he's a Deviant...' You thought to yourself as you shook your head trying to rid yourself of those thoughts. Nines needed you right now.
"It's okay, Nines... you don't have to be afraid to show emotions anymore... you're safe with me..." You reassured him as you ran one of your hands through the back of his hair, his grip on you tightened at your words. "They made them scream more, Y/N... they cried out for each other... I-I heard them die..." Nines admitted to you and you felt your heart break that he was the one who had to listen to that.
"Shh, don't think about it... just think about now... okay?" You told him and you felt him nod into the side of your neck, your emotions didn't matter to you right now.
Nines had been holding these in this whole time, trying to convince everyone he was still the unfeeling Android. But he wasn't. Things were now starting to make complete sense to you, the changes that you thought were him slowly Deviating were actually the result of him being a Deviant already. Everything he had said and done he meant. He cared about you and he really did mean that.
The incident in the interrogation room was his anger getting the best of him, he wanted to defend you because he cared. You felt stupid for not knowing that it was because he was actually a Deviant. But then he was obviously good at hiding it, no one else guessed.
"I am glad that you are not mad at me..." Nines mumbled into your neck and you raised an eyebrow to his words, you were mad at him obviously. Yet it didn't matter to you right now, you could be mad at him later. "I am mad at you... you broke a promise but that doesn't matter right now. Only you matter." You told Nines who pulled his face from your neck and looked up at you with sad eyes.
"Are you going to kick me out?" Nines asked and the fear his voice was so obvious now, he knew he could be who he really was around you. "No, I'm not... I might kick your ass later though." You joked trying to lighten the mood, while brushing your fingers through his hair still.
"I will take that over being kicked out... I cannot be without you... I am confused..." Nines admitted, every time he said something you could tell that he had been holding everything back and he may not have just Deviated but it seemed like he had because he'd only just accepted it. "It's okay, I'm going to help you through this... you won't be confused forever. I've got you, Nines." You reassured looking down at him, his eyes filled with a vulnerability you'd never seen on anyone. Not even Connor seemed this vulnerable.
"I am sorry... this is not how you should have found out... you trusted me to tell you and I broke that trust." Nines apologised but you still couldn't find it in yourself to be properly mad at him right now.
"Walking in and seeing you crying... it hurt... I never thought I'd see you cry..." You told Nines being completely honest, tears of your own filling your eyes. "I just could not take it anymore... I only knew what they were because I had seen you cry... I did not know I was capable of crying." Nines mumbled as a knock came from the door and his eyes widened in fear.
"Who is it?" You called out to whoever was on the other side.
"It's me... is everything okay?" Connor asked from the other side, Nines's grip tightened and you knew he didn't want Connor to come in. "Yeah, just telling Nines off for being an asshole ... we'll be out soon." You called out to Connor looking back to Nines to see relief spread across his face. "Forgive me for what I'm about to say." You whispered to Nines who became confused.
"Excuse me for caring, it's not my fault you have a stick up your ass all the time!" You yelled as you heard a quiet laugh leave Connor before he left the door.
"You did that to make him go away..." Nines mumbled in realisation, making you nod at him with a soft smile on your face. "Thank you..."
Nines snuggled closer to you while you continued to play with his hair, you felt bad for lying to Connor but you had to speak to Nines about telling Connor and Hank he was a Deviant first.
"Are you going to be alright to keep going?" You asked Nines only to be met with complete silence.
"I can..." He finally replied.
"This conversation isn't over by the way... I hope you know that." You said to Nines with a serious tone pulling yourself back so you could see his face. "I am aware... I do not want it to be over either... I want to tell you everything..." Nines told you the vulnerability in his eyes still completely present.
"Good... if you don't I'll shoot you..." You threatened as he blinked three times before nodding at you. "Nines... we kinda have to tell Connor and Hank..."
"No!" Nines protested instantly, his eyes widened while he looked at you.
"Nines listen to me-"
"No! I do not want anyone else to know... I only want you to know... you are the only one who matters enough to know... no one else... please, Y/N... do not tell them... do not make me tell them... I will do anything!" Nines cried out his bottom lip trembling and his grip on you tightening, rapidly.
"Nines, you need to calm down!" You told him but he still looked completely panicked. "Nines you're hurting me!"
"N-No... I am sorry... I am sorry I did not... oh no..." Nines exclaimed as he removed his hands from you completely, you'd never felt so confused around him. He seemed so different right now. So vulnerable.
"Look at me," at your order Nines did exactly that and looked at you, "calm down okay? I'm okay. You're okay. If you don't want to tell them we won't. It can be our secret... something only we know."
"Our secret? Yes... I want that... our secret... I am so confused, Y/N..." Nines mumbled as he tore his eyes away from you and looked down at your legs as you were still sat on his lap.
"Nines, have you been pushing it all down? While trying to stay a machine?" You asked, calmly while playing with his hair in an attempt to keep him calm. "I... I think so... I have never felt like this before..." He replied placing his hands on you again, being as gentle as he could be.
"Okay, it's going to be okay... we've got our secret now. No one has to know, only you and me." You soothed continuing to play with Nines's hair, as one of his hands placed itself on your thigh and started to rub up and down. "Only you and I." Nines mumbled as he leant his head on you seeming to want more comfort.
"Do you think you're ready to go out?" You asked Nines who shook his head no, you really didn't want to push him to get back to work when he wasn't feeling ready. "When Hank and Connor ask tell them I yelled at you a lot."
"I will... can you tell them I found nothing important on the voice recording...? I do not want to speak about it again." Nines requested his voice sounding quiet, his hand still gliding up and down your thigh. "Of course I will, I'll try and keep their attention off of you as much as I can." You told him as a sigh made its way out from Nines's mouth, looking down at his face you saw he had his eyes closed.
You just sat there in Nines's lap for a few more minutes, gently playing with his hair. All of a sudden he pulled his head away and let go of you, you took that as he was ready to leave.
"I think I am ready..." He mumbled his eyes staring into yours, they had gone back to having the usual soft look in them, which made you smile at him. "I'm going to be by your side if you need to take a moment I'll make an excuse." You said as you slipped off of Nines's lap and stood up straight, he reached out to the voice recorder and picked it up.
"I do not want you to feel like you must for-"
"Nines... you're my partner and Companion, I'll make an excuse if you need it." You told him watching as he stood from the chair he was sat in. "Are you sure you're ready?"
"Yes, Y/N, I believe I am... do not worry about me..." Nines mumbled as he stepped towards you with the voice recorder in hand, but you stopped him by pressing a hand to his chest. "I'm going to be worrying about you for the rest of the day, Nines..." You sighed dropping your hand from his chest and giving him a worried look, the information you'd just learnt about Nines was going to be playing on your mind until you got home later.
"I do not wish for you to worry about me... I am okay now, you made sure of that." Nines reassured you as he pushed himself closer to you, his eyes staring into yours. "I'm still going to worry, but as long as you're okay now." You said turning away from Nines making your way to the door and opening it up for you both to leave.
Exiting the room together you make your way to the front of the house, forensics had arrived to start collecting evidence. You asked for an evidence bag so you could bag up the voice recorder, instantly handing it to them after. Nines seemed to have gone completely quiet, looking back at him you saw his LED was still bright red and you knew that could give him away easily. Gripping onto his hand secretly you pulled him towards the stairs, taking your time to walk up them.
"Nines, the more you think about it the more your LED is going to give you away." You warned Nines, his hand gripped onto yours tighter.
"Yes I forgot about that... I shall try and focus on the case and if that fails I will try to think of something else." Nines told you as you continued up the stairs, letting go of Nines's hand when you reached the top. That's when you heard Nines mutter under his breath. "Act normal."
Moving towards the room you left Connor and Hank in you saw them both stood in there talking to each other, Connor was the first to notice your presence as he perked up with a smile on his face.
"You're back... is everything okay?" Connor asked you as Nines entered the room behind you, his LED had finally gone to yellow which was better than red. "Y/N has let out all of her anger on me, she is fine. I am fully aware of the fact I was an... I am not saying the word." Nines stated as he folded his arms behind his back, which was a normal thing for Nines to do.
"Asshole. He was an asshole." You finished for Nines who gave you a small smirk.
"Alright, well we all need to get back to work. So no more being an asshole blue eyes." Hank said as he moved around you and Nines then out of the room.
"Glad you two are okay." Connor mumbled as he passed by you both too.
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You have no idea how much I've been looking forward to this chapter being released!
It's only going to get better from here!