Colress: you know you can die from that, right?
Volo, smoking a cigarette: That's the point.
Izuru, drinking alcohol: We're trying to speed up the process.
Chifuyu and N, sharing a tub of raw cookie dough: *nods*
Chifuyu: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.
Nemona: Mine says "Nemona, no."
Chifuyu: I want you to apply that to every possible situation.
Chifuyu: Who the fuck-
Nemona: Language!
Chifuyu: Whom the fuck-
Nemona: No.
Arven and Penny in the back: YES!
Kokoro, trying to confess: Can we have a talk in private?
Chifuyu: Okay, as long as it does not involve tampons because I don't understand them.
Volo: if I say I love you will you say it back?
Chifuyu: Yes
Volo: I love you.
Chifuyu: it back.
*later*
N: why is Volo crying facedown on the floor?
Kokoro: hey I'm getting in the shower. Wanna help me?
Chifuyu: ....have you never taken a shower before?
Chrollo: Are they stupid?
Chifuyu: Yes, but they prefer to be called All Might.
Bakugo: do you know who I am?!
Chifuyu: Why, did you forget?
Bakugo, stuck inside a wall: Did anyone get the number on that bitch?
Chifuyu: 53 (A/N: someone get the reference).
Bakugo: Thank you...
Chifuyu: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood, I'm not afraid to leave the same way.
Chifuyu: In case you haven't noticed I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't "fit in" and I don't WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That's weird.
Chifuyu: hey there simps! Its ya Boi!
Kokoro: Chifuyu, no!
Chifuyu: What did you two do?
Volo:
N:
Chifuyu: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again.
Chifuyu: I would do anything to find Kokoro.
*Later*
Chifuyu, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!
Kamado: "Now you may have known the ending of our fight was a tad "controversial"...."
Chifuyu: "Hey I heard those air quotes, you son of a bitch."
Nedzu: "Hey they're not half bad!"
Chifuyu: "Nope they're all bad!"
Chifuyu: "GODDAMIT TOMURA SHIGARAKI!! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU KICKING MY DAMN HEART IN THE DICK! WELL NOT THIS TIME!! PREPARE TO FEEL THE WRATH OF A PISSED OFF GAMING NERD WITH ADMIN PRIVILEGES!!!"
Chifuyu: "I'm a reverse necromancer."
Ichigo: "Isn't that just killing people?"
Chifuyu:"Ah technically."
Chifuyu when she is having a bad day:
"Hello. Chifuyu Nanami. Codename Lotus of the Azalea Dragons. Ex-savior of the ancient Sinnoh region known as Hisui and the proprietor of the Ramanas Oasis. I manage the business, keep the place running efficiently, and take out the trash." (Summons her Pink Greninja Katakuri from the shadows, their Bond Phenomenon starting to activate as her tattoos began to glow in tandem with her growing bloodlust) "And I also put down self-entitled little twats like yourself."
Chifuyu: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying "Haven't decided yet," is typically a good response.
Chifuyu: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Penny: What is 30 × 17?
Chifuyu: 47
Penny: That's not even close.
Chifuyu: But it was fast.
Chifuyu: Did anybody learn their lesson?
Mela: No.
Giacomo: I did not.
Ortega: I may have forgotten one.
Atticus: Also no.
Chifuyu: Oh good neither did I.
Eri (Team Star): *exasperated sigh*
Deku: Can I bother you for a second?
Chifuyu: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
Chifuyu: Can we go out for ice cream?
Kokoro: Did you ask Izuru?
Chifuyu: He said no.
Kokoro: Then why did you ask me?
Chifuyu: He's not the boss of you.
Kokoro, to herself: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.
Chichi: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Taichi: You are my reward.
*Meanwhile*
Volo: You deserve a reward for putting up with me.
Chifuyu: True, you can be very difficult to put up with.
Cyllene: Why is Chifuyu crying on the floor?
Akari: She took one of those "What person are you?" quizzes.
Cyllene: And?
Rei: She got Beni.
Chifuyu: You got to learn to love yourself.
Penny: But don't you hate yourself?
Chifuyu: Yeah, but this is about you, stay focused.
Volo: Wait you like me for my personality?
Chifuyu: I know I was surprised too.
Rico: Mint is just cold spicy.
The Entire Azalea Squad:
Chifuyu: What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
Chifuyu: *taps on table*
Nonon: *tapping back*
Mine: what are they doing?
Lucy: Morse code.
Nonon: *aggressively taps table*
Chifuyu: *slamming her hands on the table, tears running down her face* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Nonon: BUT IT'S TRUE-!
Hiroko Hagakure: *trying to fill out legal paper work for the children* We're you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Lucy: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
????: I personally was created in a lab.
Chifuyu: I just straight up spawned, lol.
Kokoro: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?
Chifuyu: *turns to ghost Yuri* How tall are you?
Ritsu: We need a distraction.
Amu: *very sarcastically* Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Rico and Bendy: *whispering to each other* Our time has come....
Random person: I like the "good guy bad guy" thing you guys have going on!
Chifuyu: it's not an act. It just means that I'm mean and Chiaki isn't.
Chifuyu: Good responses to being stabbed with a knife?
Junko: Rude.
Maki: That's fair.
Mukuro: Not again.
Nagito: Are you going to want this back or...?
Kokoro: I want you to look me in the eye and say you don't like Volo.
Chifuyu: I don't like Volo.
Kokoro: Chifuyu, that's nowhere near my eyes.
Chifuyu: Hello!
Arven: Hey what's up?
Chifuyu: I need your help. Can you come over here?
Arven: I can't, I'm buying clothes.
Chifuyu: Alright. Well hurry up and come over here.
Arven: Well I can't find them.
Chifuyu: What do you mean you can't find them?
Arven: I can't find them. There's only soup.
Chifuyu: What do you mean there's only soup?
Arven: It means there's only soup!
Chifuyu: Well then get out of the soup aisle!
Arven: Alright you don't have to shout at me.
Arven:
Arven: There's more soup!
Chifuyu: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE SOUP!
Arven: THERE'S JUST MORE SOUP!
Chifuyu: GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!
Arven: THERE'S STILL SOUP!
Chifuyu: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!
Arven: I'M AT SOUP!
Chifuyu: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE AT SOUP!?
Arven: IT MEANS I'M AT SOUP!
Chifuyu: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!
Arven: I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!
Chifuyu: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!
Arven: FUCK YOU!
Chifuyu explains her business strategy in the simplest way possible...
Chifuyu: *speaking to the audience* The real question is this: was all this legal?
*Glances at her Squad doing "stuff" in the background before lowering her voice to the audience*
Chifuyu: Absolutely fucking not!
Inspired by this video:
Volo: that would go against my moral compass.
Chifuyu: your moral compass is a fucking roulette wheel.
Chifuyu: About that love letter you sent me....
N: Yeah....? *Blushes*
Chifuyu: Well, the eighth line...
N: *has a nosebleed* I started to get really into it and-
Chifuyu: You forgot a comma.
Chifuyu: Why do you guys want to marry me anyway?
Kokoro, Izuru, Volo, and N: So we can kiss you anytime we want.
Chifuyu: I have an idea!
Naegi, Chiaki, and Kaede: No murder!
Chifuyu: I don't have an idea anymore.
Chifuyu: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Nemona: I've witnessed a lot of dumb stuff.
Penny: I've recorded a lot of dumb stuff.
Arven: I've joined in on a lot of dumb stuff.
Clavell: I'VE TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING DUMB STUFF!
Amu: Did you just refer a knife as a "people-opener"?
Chifuyu: Should I not have?
Chifuyu: Wait are you in love with me?
Kokoro: Have been ever since we met but thanks for finally noticing.
Giratina and Yveltal: How come it's considered wrong when I have fun?
Chifuyu: People die when you have fun.
Bakugo: I beg your pardon?!
Chifuyu: Then beg.