At first glance when she returned to school after the weekend, nothing seemed different.
Her classmates greeted her as they used to for some time now, apparently oblivious to the situation with her and Oscar.
Her eyes immediately glanced into the direction of her desk at the thought of him. He was there, leaning against the edge of the desk as he talked with a classmate.
Her heart skipped a beat and there formed a lump in her throat.
What do I do? Walk up to him and say hi? Or ignore him?
Greeting him as she normally would seemed to her as if she still wanted to go after him, to pursue him, ignoring his previous words of refusal. But then again, ignoring him seemed... rude to her.
She was torn on what to do - she didn't want to look as if she didn't give up on him yet and that she's still going to try if she'd greet him now (because she didn't want to after he made it clear what his feelings were towards her) and also didn't want to just refuse to acknowledge his whole existence if she chose not to say hello.
Maybe she was just overthinking, making a bigger deal out of it than it actually was.
But to Jeanette, it seemed as if the ground underneath her feet growled as it moved and shook that day in the park, crumbling under her, splitting the ground into halves so that she'd fall into the narrow crack.
To her, it was a big and important matter.
Her hesitation was gone when Oscar noticed her as he looked over his shoulders, his eyes remaining on her for a split second longer than they should have before he went back to talking to the classmate next to him.
Okay, so we're not on friendly terms anymore. In fact, we aren't on any terms.
Seeing he chose to act as if he had never known the girl, never had been friends, it did hurt Jeanette to think that she had lost someone like him.
There was no turning any of it back.
Because as much as she hated the fact of her breaking apart their friendship, she still wouldn't change her decision had she known. The feelings she felt were just simply too much for her alone and it felt as if she was lying to Oscar when she didn't let him know.
Even if she had known their friendship will die, she'd still confess, because she didn't think it'd be fair if she did not.
But maybe, if she had known, she wouldn't rush that much into letting him know but rather allow herself to spend just a tiny bit more time together as friends before tossing it all to the trash bin.