HANEUL HAD NEVER thought that she and her dad would be sharing a pint of her favourite cookie dough ice cream while watching What's wrong with Secretary Kim, just a day before her 27th birthday.
Her life had quickly turned into a sad intangible mess, and she had no idea why.
Well, maybe she was being a little dramatic. It wasn't all bad.
It had been well over a week since she had come home back from Seoul. Working from home felt boring for her like it didn't have a challenge. She loved her work during the business trip with her boss for three months, but work now was repetitive. Dull. Uninteresting. Her days mushed together; talking on calls, replying to emails, eating, sleeping and repeating.
She had talked with Jimin once that week and had more questions than answers. Calling Jimin had one purpose - apart from asking for their engagement pictures, of course - knowing the whereabouts of Taehyung.
He had never let them go more than two days of silence on text, and that's when she decided she would sneakily ask Jimin about it. Sure, she felt a little guilty, but she figured Taehyung was hiding stuff from her again, and boy was she right.
Not that she had any right to say anything about honesty either.
Taehyung had not texted nor called; silence is all she got. Haneul didn't initiate the conversation either, because well, it bruised her ego to be the one texting first.
Seolhui, her name, was someone new in his life. She was happy for him till she remembered their whole pretend-to-date deal when her mother passed some backhanded compliment about it during dinner. After that, Seolhui, whoever that bitch was - man she made Haneul furious for no apparent reason.
Haneul did try to search her up on Instagram and check if she could at least find her, but Taehyung didn't have an Instagram account, and the lack of one didn't help at all. Two hours of her sleep were wasted in finding who that chick was, and with each passing account, she became more and more restless, as each one of them was gorgeous.
Still, like the good friend she was (very laughable, an intrusive thought crossed her mind, because she wasn't being a good friend at all) she gave him the benefit of the doubt. Waited three whole days for him, his texts or his calls.
Received none. Five days turned into seven.
This was probably the first time in ages that Haneul felt alone. Not lonely, but alone. As if she had no one with her. Like she had no one to talk to, or to discuss their uneventful life. The void in her chest was getting wider and deeper, and she hated that feeling.
During dinner that day, her mother reminded her of, yet again, how unsuccessful she was in raising a daughter like Haneul, who was turning twenty-seven, with no husband nor a baby on the way. Her mother then went on about the same old story of how she was pregnant with a baby when she was twenty-five, just fresh out of marriage, and how if it were alive today, she would've probably raised it better than they did Haneul.
Haneul rolled her eyes and stuffed her spooned rice into her mouth because she couldn't be affected by it anymore. Her mother loved to repeat it again and again, and one-year Haneul had counted that she had narrated the same story around fifty times.
It was sad and unfortunate, yes, but her mother had overused the story of her miscarriage over and over again and it didn't even bother them anymore. It had lost all its value and emotion.
And when her mother told her about some girl who was twenty-four with baby number two on the way a few houses down theirs, Haneul's father just gave Haneul an understanding nod, as if saying It doesn't matter. I'm proud of you for the way you are. Haneul thought the repetitive behaviour of her mother had peaked because even though her father was reassuring, she did not feel the need to be reassured. She was unaffected by it.
At eleven a, her mother retired to her bedroom, and Haneul took out a pint of cookie dough ice cream from the fridge. She switched on Netflix on the living room TV and put on her favourite drama. Spooned the cold ice cream as she watched through the first episode.
Halfway through, her father joined her. Asked her if he could also share ice cream with her, straight from the tub. Haneul of course, said yes.
"So what's this drama about?" Her dad said as he ate a spoonful of ice cream and then grimaced because it was too cold for his teeth.
"Park Seojoon is the boss, and Park Minyoung is his secretary. She quits her job and he falls in love with her," Haneul smiled and ate more ice cream.
"That sounds awfully like," Haneul's dad shrugged his shoulders, "You and your boss? Maybe?"
Haneul laughed far too loudly for that, "There's no way my boss would fall in love with me, you know. He's nice and all but I'm just me." Haneul gritted her teeth and then put out, "Besides, I'm more like a personal assistant, if you will. Not a secretary."
"Stop saying nonsense," her father shook his head and teasingly smiled, "You're lovely. Of course, he should fall in love with you. He's very rich, no?"
"You say that just because I'm your daughter," Haneul giggled as the second episode rolled on the television, "Besides I do already have a boyfriend."
"Oh yeah, you do, don't you?" he replied a bit too sarcastically for Haneul's liking. "I wonder how that's going on for you."
"Dad," Haneul sighed, clearly a sign of annoyance. She had no interest in discussing it, especially when she wanted nothing but peace while watching her drama.
"You know," he softly said, stroking one hand on the top of her head, "You don't have to hide everything from me. I'm hardly your mother that I would shout at you." Haneul laughed at that, nodding, and her father continued, "You can tell me if something is going on between you two, alright? I'll help you, whatever you want. A stern talk with that punk or just listening to how you feel, yeah? A relationship is hardly one without any problems."
Haneul tried to word her next sentence very carefully, "What makes you think we're going through problems?" It was a lie. There were no problems, because, well, there was no communication.
"You might not believe me, but your mother and I married because of love. She might not show how much she loves us, but she does. She's unique in her way, just as Taehyung is." Her father was indirectly implying something, but Haneul couldn't put a finger on it. So she just nodded for him to continue. "I know you're not okay, I can see it. You're my daughter, after all. You're just like me."
"I just-" Haneul's voice cracked, and she took a deep breath and tried to continue, "Most of the time, I don't feel loved. Like, I don't know, there's always this feeling as if people just pretend to like me, and secretly loathe me. It's not a nice feeling."
"Why haven't you told this to anyone then? How do you cope with this?" Haneul's father was just curious about his daughter. Why hadn't she told him this yet? Why was she bottling feelings up?
"I just pretend everything's okay," she said in almost an inaudible voice.
"Oh sweetie," Haneul's father said as she wrapped her arms around him, seeking comfort. "You're more like your mother than I expected you to be." He took a pause, and said again, "Tell him. Tell him how you're feeling. Don't hide anything from him."
"He has his problems going on," Haneul sniffled, and drew back, pretending to be okay, "I don't want to burden him."
"You won't be," her father shook his head as he took her hands delicately in his, "You won't be if he truly loves you. Be honest with each other."
"Honesty?" Haneul voiced, her tone coming out a little mischievous and a little curious together as if she wanted to divert his attention to somewhere else. She was successful in doing so, "Can I be honest with you?"
"Of course, you can, darling. Go ahead," her dad smiled warmly at her.
"I cleared the loan," she said a little proudly, "You don't have to worry about it anymore, dad."
"What loan?" Her father asked, looking at her pointedly, narrowing his eyes at her, and Haneul was surprised to see how similar their facial features were.
"The loan for this house. It's paid."
"Aren't you going to Seoul and need to pay for rent?" Shock laced his voice and he shook his head as if in disbelief.
"I do, I'll be going in four days," Haneul nodded, informing that it indeed was true. She was moving to a new city, that too an expensive one. But she had thought through her expenses, and she was working extra hours to save up some more. Her dad didn't need to know that, though.
"You didn't have to, Haneul," he shook his head again. Haneul for a split second thought he would simply scold her, but he just signed and his tone softened some more, "It isn't your responsibility. Why'd you do it?"
"To see how creative mom gets when we tell her this. I'm sure she isn't going to be all rainbows and sunflowers about it," Haneul sarcastically said, laughing a little at the end as she looked at her father, whose lips betrayed and their corners turned up significantly before going back to a flat line.
"That isn't funny," he said, sounding serious, but when Haneul gave him a look, he just smiled a tiny smile guiltily. "Well, okay, it is quite funny. But I'm serious."
"I did because I wanted to, dad. Don't stress about it," Haneul squeezed his hands in hers reassuringly and smiled at him warmly.
"Thank you for doing that, I love you," her father squeezed her palms back, and shook them to convey what he was feeling. He then flipped his wrist to look at his watch, and then said, "Happy Birthday."
"Love you too, dad. Thank you," Haneul spooned more ice cream and turned to the tv, and squealed, "Look, he's proposing! I swear it's so funny you have to watch it."
"Alright," her father said as they rewind the episode a little and he ate more chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with his daughter.
***
Haneul did not expect Taehyung to stand at their doorstep when she opened the door. He had a huge bouquet of flowers in his hand, and he smiled as he saw her.
She was frozen at the door. He was in front of her, in flesh, and it just made her overwhelmed and angry all the same. "Well? I drove three hours to get here. Don't look at me like that, aren't you going to invite me in?" Taehyung joked as he thrust the bouquet into her hands and kissed her cheek, startling her, "Happy birthday."
"You- You're here? Why?" She stuttered inelegantly.
"Because it's your birthday stupid, why else do you think?" Taehyung dragged her in and closed the door behind them. As they walked inside the house, he wriggled his eyebrows and asked, "So how's twenty-seven feeling? Any joint pain yet? Oh my, I think I spot a white hair -"
"Oh shut it," Haneul rolled her eyes, a grin stretching its way in her face, "Manners. I'm literally older than you."
"Ah, Taehyung, what a lovely surprise," Haneul's father greeted him, sitting on the kitchen table with the paper in his hand. "Come join us, we're just getting started with lunch."
"Taehyung's here?" Haneul's mother looked delighted as she put a pot of steaming seaweed soup on the table, and turned to Haneul, "Haneul dear, you didn't mention we were having company." If that woman's eyes could shoot daggers, Haneul was long dead by now.
"I didn't know we were going to have company," she said, cringing when her mother looked at her rather pointedly. Her mother was true though, who would not know that their boyfriend was going to drop by during lunch?
"I wanted to surprise her, Eomeoni," Taehyung wrapped his hands around her shoulders, and looked at her, as if asking her to pretend along. Even if Haneul wanted to, she wouldn't say no - she was more preoccupied with the fact that he looked so dreamy.
Haneul's mother nodded and whispered something along the lines of "another step closer to their marriage" not so discreetly to her father.
Haneul decided to completely ignore that.
"Let me get the cutlery for you," Taehyung said as he joined Haneul's mother in the kitchen, gathering all the plates, bowls and cutlery for them.
"Honey, he's such a well-mannered boy," Haneul's mother practically squealed as they came back from the kitchen, and it angered Haneul even more.
As everyone sat at the table for the meal, Taehyung, being the one with the nice manners helped around some more, and threw compliments, and Haneul's mother warmed up even more to the idea that he was her daughter's pretend boyfriend. Sure, he wasn't rich or well-known in his community, but he was well-mannered and seemed to adore Haneul. What more could a mother want from her son-in-law?
The more Haneul's mother praised Taehyung's honeyed words, the more Haneul got aggressive with her chewing. Her father looked at her face flushed red, chewing like an angrily cute child denied a toy, and chuckled a little.
Haneul glared at him and ate more Kimchi, secretly loving that it was spicy. Turning to her side, she saw Taehyung's plates and bowls plied with food, probably her mother's doing, and smiled wickedly because she knew the food was spicy, and after eating his ass was going to be on fire. Quite literally.
Taehyung though, without blinking, gobbled up the food. His leg was shaking concerningly down the table, but that did not stop him from complimenting Haneul's mother. She seemed delighted by it, and well, he loved it.
Lunch went on with Taehyung and Haneul's mother having a compliment battle, while Haneul sat there and had two more servings of soup. When she raised her hand toward the ladle for the third, her mother looked at her. She knew that was her queue to stop and get up from the table. Throwing a sarcastic smile at her mother, she stuffed another soup dumpling in her mouth just to spite her and got up.
"Haneul, would you like to continue yesterday's drama now?" Her father asked, and she was aware of some half-assed scheming in the back of his mind.
"Oh no, I have work," she replied, not looking at Taehyung when he raised a questioning eyebrow at her. "I do clock off a bit early today, but we've been backlogged due to the new year. You can go ahead and watch if you want, I'll join you in the evening."
"I would wait for you," he smiled, "Don't work too much, it's your birthday!"
Haneul just smiled in reply and went to her room, but she did not miss her mother grumbling about her lack of manners. She sighed, even her birthday was just a usual day at home.
Back in her room, she replied to some emails and was on a call when Taehyung came in with a knock. "Are you don-"
"Please inform Choi about your lack of reports, Jeon," she spoke on the call, glaring at Taehyung. She then mouthed, "I'm on call. Sit for a while," to him while Jeon replied back something to her. "I've been asking Choi for the past week. Mr. Jung needs the reports by today, and she says the only one left is you. Work on it."
Jeon replied something to her, while Taehyung made himself comfortable on the bed. It was currently past three. After Haneul had left for her room, her mother had bombarded Taehyung with questions about marriage, and if they were virgins and waiting for marriage and if they wanted a summer wedding; and how it would be a shame since blossom season nearing and it was perfect for them.
Taehyung had barely dodged questions claiming that it would be too rude to get married when their best friends had recently gotten engaged and were planning to have their wedding in late March for the blossoms. Her mother had then complimented him on how lovely and selfless he was to be thinking about his friends, just when at the perfect time Haneul's dad dragged Taehyung to watch a period drama to divert the mother's attention from them.
"I can tell him that, but please make sure I receive the reports no later than tomorrow," Haneul spoke some more, "Yes. Thank you." She cut the call, made an annoyed face and then turned her chair to look at Taehyung.
"So, what's up?" Taehyung asked, suddenly hyperaware that her attention was on him.
"Oh no, nothing much with me, just work and work," Haneul shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, her voice coming out far too sweet, "But you? What's going on with you?"
"There's a lot of things I want to tell you, Haneul, I-" he sighed, "But today's your birthday. Let's not talk about the negatives today."
"Oh no, but I have a question," Haneul smiled widely, and Taehyung was genuinely scared of her. She was acting way too weird, "Who the hell is Seolhui?"
"I er-" Taehyung choked out, then frowned at her, pointing a finger accusingly, "How do you know about her?"
"I have my sources," Haneul shrugged. Whatever happened, she wasn't going to out Jimin, because had actually bribed her with something, and well, let's just say that Haneul had accepted it. He was keeping his part of the deal, and so would Haneul.
"She's just a friend," Taehyung shrugged, as if his and Haneul's definition of a friend wasn't entirely different. "She works at an art cafe, and I thought she might get me an order. No luck yet though."
"Oh really? That's actually so nice."
"Oh yeah? Why, are you jealous?" Taehyung asked, completely serious. He could feel his heartbeat pulsing at the base of his neck, as he nervously swallowed. Was she really jealous of Seolhui? Did she like him back as well? Could they really start dating instead of pretending? Taehyung's mind was racing with the fact that she could be jealous, and how they could be such a lovely couple.
"I must admit I am, yeah," Haneul shrugged and turned, typing something on her laptop. By the looks of it, she was drafting a new mail, "I mean, you didn't text me for a week, nor did you call. I was worried about you."
"You thought I would replace you?" Taehyung asked and Haneul didn't like the way he sounded.
"Er, no," she said, turning back at him and giving him a sceptical look, "You love me far too much to replace me."
Taehyung just smiled softly at her, "That I do."
***
The walk from the noraebang to home felt like forever. Taehyung was panting, giggling and hiccuping all in one. He was dressed in the same hoodie and jeans he came in from Seoul, looking like a casual dreamy model, but Haneul was dressed up as if she hadn't ever before.
"Sweet communion princess or slutty stepwife?" She had asked Taehyung as they were getting ready to go out.
"What?" Taehyung questioned back, halting from applying the lip tint to his lips. Haneul was staring at her open cupboard.
"I have two new dresses, so choose one," she took out the dresses from her closet and turned around to show him. "Sweet communion dress," she lifted the pretty navy blue dress which was so poofy that its skirt shimmered a little, "Or the slutty step wife," the other dress was a black dress with tiny golden sequins lined on the upper half of the dress.
"That's not slutty," Taehyung countered, "It's cute. Gorgeous. Slutty would be half your boobs out of that dress."
"Me wearing would make it slutty," Haneul joked, and then said, "At least mom said that. It's more like sexy, no?"
"Sexy, definitely, slutty, no," Taehyung said, and then whined, "Why are you wearing a dress though? I'm going to look underdressed."
"You look just the same with or without some prim and preppy outfit," Haneul complimented him, "Me, on the other hand, I need to get ready to look good. You can roll out of bed and still look gorgeous."
"Oh stop with the flattery," Taehyung turned to hide his blush, "Wear whatever you want to, I can fight if someone catcalls you."
"I'll kick their asses myself," Haneul turned towards him, "I'm wearing the black dress. I spent a lot of money on that."
"Don't get too ready," Taehyung teased as he walked out of her room, "My beauty would get overshadowed by yours."
Presently, as they walked back to Haneul's parents' house from the noraebang, hand in hand, giggling over the leftover effect of alcohol and all the convenience store anju they had consumed, Haneul whined something.
"What?" Taehyung slurred, looking at her, "You look pretty."
"I'm tired," she whined, "Can we sit down?"
"I can see your house from here," Taehyung pointed at two houses away from them. "Let's go and then sit. Oh, I'm so thirsty."
"No," Haneul whined as Taehyung dragged her on towards her house, "My mom will start with her fucking lecture again. I don't want to go."
"It's two am," Taehyung dragged her, and Haneul reluctantly stomped behind him. It was shocking to Taehyung how perfectly she was walking in heels the whole night without even complaining once about them. And even after getting drunk, her balance was impeccable. Taehyung hiccuped, and then yawned, "Eomeoni would be asleep by now."
"Stop calling her that," Haneul rolled her eyes and scrunched her nose in the most undelightful manner, "She probably thinks you're totally on board with marrying me. Sometimes, she looks at you as if she's ready to pounce on you with a marriage plan she has had since I was probably ten."
"I won't mind marrying you," Taehyung said as if it was the most easiest thing to say in the world, as he jammed the key from below the plant pot, into the keyhole, "That's like, least of my worries now. Getting you as a bride."
"There's no end to all the crap you say," Haneul said as they entered the house, shimmying out of her heels, "You should probably hold your tongue before you promise me Yeontan in your sleep or something one day."
"You know that's true," Taehyung clumsily walked into the house, and into the kitchen, opening the fridge for a bottle of water, "Besides, I can't stop imagining you in a white dress, and scowling down at your mom for all the ridiculous roses at the wedding venue."
"Lilies only, at my wedding. That too white," Haneul came to the kitchen and snatched the bottle out of his hands, and drank the water. "But blah, why are we discussing weddings? Like hell, if I'm spending a crap ton of money just to marry someone."
"You're such a bitch," Taehyung growled, pulling the bottle out of her hands, just to get her teasing reply, "I'm your bitch."
"No, you aren't. I'm not sure if you've seen yourself in the mirror, but you're way too expensive for me to afford," Taehyung joked along with her and shrugged as he dragged her to her room after grabbing two more water bottles. "Here, tie your hair," he threw her a hair tie, just so she could throw it back at him again.
"You tie my hair."
"See? Too high maintenance," Taehyung rolled his eyes and commented as if he didn't actually gather her hair and twisted it gently on the top of her head in a neat bun. "Now get out of that dress and let's go to bed."
As Taehyung got up to go out of the room to give her some privacy, his phone started ringing.
"Who's calling you right now?" she asked as he took his phone out of his pocket. After glancing at the name of the caller, suddenly jealousy and anger bubbled inside of her. She didn't want to think of it that way, because Taehyung had told her that they were just friends, but Haneul liked to have all his attention on her.
It angered her to no bounds at the possibility that he would ignore her again. Replace her again. Jealousy filled her, and her hand snapped up to capture Taehyung's arm.
She pulled him, towards her, and he flopped onto the bed beside her, the ringing phone long forgotten in his hand.
"I really missed you, Tae," she said and closed the distance between them. Taehyung tossed his phone aside, facedown on the cushions, the caller ID Seolhui glaring at the sheets.
"I missed you too, Haneul. More than my brain likes to think."
"I missed you," she repeated again and she pressed her lips to his, with only one intention in her mind.
She wouldn't mind pretending with him, as long as he was focused on her.
Taehyung shifted closer and eagerly kissed her back, all sense of rationality clouded in his brain. Taehyung was focused solely on her, and well it looked like Haneul was successful in her only intention.
Making Taehyung forget about Seolhui.
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author's note:
repeat after me, we love our characters fucking up.
before you come at me, yes my characters are little shits.
they won't be made by me if they weren't. yes, Haneul is an attention-seeking cunt (said lovingly) and yes Taehyung is still in love with her despite that.
idk. sue me.
(jk pls don't I'm broke)
should I make them fuck??? yes or no. the reader's decision.
also, i lied. coffee isn't getting updated, i know. there are just around 10+ characters meeting in a single setting and it's stressing me out.
all things said and done, pls stream face. and smoke sprite (I'm sorry i forgot to mention it in dd :( )
below is the refrence for Taehyung's outfit because of course it's the best friend core <3333
AND UM NO. WE DON'T TALK ABOUT JUNGKOOK AND CK. WE DONT. HES JUST FOR ME TO WATCH SO EVERYONE STOP LOOKING AT HIM. okay that's it luv u
in all seriousness though WHO GAVE THAT MAN THE PERMISSION I JUST NEED TO HAVE A CHAT I MIGHT KISS THEIR FOREHEAD BUT JUST A LITTLE PROFESSIONAL CHAT.
that's it byeeeee x (just for ref no I'm not okay after like crazy. I'm just so in awe with the mv I honestly cried at it for like an hour.)