"I brought you something," Camila said, grabbing Amira's attention. Amira looked from Camila to the bag in her hand and then watched as Camila pulled out an assortment of candy: skittles, M&Ms, a pack of mini snickers, and some starbursts.
"Candy?" Amira mumbled, unimpressed.
"Well, yes, but..." Camila paused as she dumped out the last two items in her bag.
"Ta-da!" She smiled, lifting two boxes in the air.
"I'm not pregnant," Amira frowned, instantly shaking her head.
"You said you felt sick the other day."
"Yes, but I'm not pregnant," she repeated.
"How do you know?" Camila argued, opening the packages.
"Because the timing doesn't add up, and I know my body."
"Have you taken a test?"
"No, but I—"
"Then you don't know, Amira. What's the harm in finding out? Don't you wanna know for sure that no baby is cooking in your oven?"
Amira only shrugged in response. She knew the dates didn't add up whatsoever. Not to mention, she already had her period. But as Camila said, "what's the harm in finding out?" Crazy unexplainable shit happens all the time, and Amira needed to be sure she wasn't pregnant.
"Fine," Amira grumbled, scooting to the edge of the bed. She then took the tests from Camila and went into the bathroom.
Amira thought it was odd that she felt sick earlier this week, but she just trumped it up to her dispirited state. She hadn't felt like herself at all recently, and her gloominess had only succeeded at clouding every aspect of her life. She just couldn't seem to shake the slump she was in, and it was starting to affect her.
After waiting for the allotted time for each test, Amira placed them both on the counter for Camila to view them.
"There."
They came back negative, of course.
"Not pregnant, Camila."
"Okay, great. We can cross that off the list," Camila said, giving an encouraging smile. "But I was also thinking that maybe we could go for a walk, maybe go get some Starbucks. Or..." Camila paused as she plopped down onto the bed.
"Maybe we could go out tonight. There's this lesbian bar that I've been meaning to show you. Rachael recommended it to me."
"That's nice," Amira voiced. Her mind immediately wandered to Rachael. Camila had confessed not too long ago that she and Rachael made amends. They talked it out, and now they were officially together.
Amira was shocked at first; she had been so busy with her own life that she had failed to keep track of what her best friend was up to. The last Amira heard of Rachael, she and Camila weren't on speaking terms, so for them to have worked it out completely, Amira was proud of Camila. The few times Amira interacted with Rachael, Rachael always gave off good wholesome vibes, and Camila needed that.
"Will you go out with me? We can dance, drink, have fun, and fuck around like old times. I can even ask Rachael to meet us there so you two can catch up."
"I don't know. I don't really feel like doing anything. I'd rather just read or watch tv," Amira shrugged, reaching for some candy.
"Thanks for these," she noted, dropping her head against the pillow.
"I understand that you'd rather not do anything, but it might be good for you to get out and do something. If you're not working, you're held up in here all day, and it's depressing, Amira. Shit, fuck Rowan. He's an asshole for putting you in this state."
"Camila," Amira sighed.
"I'm serious, fuck him. You're like the sweetest, most mature, and unproblematic person I know, and if he doesn't see that, then good riddance. You don't need him—not his big dick, his abs, or his baggage. The fuck."
"See that's the problem with men now. They always take a good woman for granted, and then..."
Amira ignored Camila as she started ranting about how men are no good, and how they don't deserve pussy. Amira only let Camila spout curses and practically shit on Rowan's character because, deep down, it felt good to have someone vouch for her and be angry in her stead. Although Amira was hurt by how Rowan left things, she didn't have it in her to be nasty or to say cruel things about him.
He did nothing but treat her with respect the entire time they were together. He truly made her feel special—he made her reevaluate what she knew about confidence, he gave her opportunities to step outside her comfort zone, and she even got a glimpse of what it was like to be bold and fearless. And on top of all that, he showered her with gifts, was her personal chauffeur, and always made her feel safe while in his presence. He was like a dream to her.
One could say that Amira shouldn't have pressed Rowan for answers or that Rowan shouldn't have been a hypocrite and just talked to her. But either way, both of them could share some blame for what happened. Amira, for one, knew this, and that's why she refused to forget all the good that happened before things took an unfortunate turn.
Camila ended up staying with Amira for a while. They ordered pizza and watched a few movies before Camila headed home.
.....
A few more days went by, and Amira felt a little less optimistic about where she and Rowan stood. She called her mom, and they talked about where Amira was at mentally. They had a long discussion, one they planned on continuing at dinner tonight. And Amira was eager to see her mom and have a nice home-cooked meal.
"How did you say he reacted again? Was he shocked, upset, confused..."
"I don't know. So much was happening, and too many factors could've impacted his reaction—or lack of it. But he definitely looked in distress or maybe uncomfortable. I had never seen him like that before, so I partly felt bad for him. And I'm not trying to make excuses for him, but he did seem to be overwhelmed for the few seconds he let his emotions show. Then he went blank," Amira sighed, setting her fork down.
"And after all that, you said he sent you a message saying he just needed time?" Her mother questioned.
"Well, Rowan said he needed to think, which he had already told me before he sent that message. I just interpreted him saying he needed to think as him asking me to give him some space to do so. But now I can't help but think Rowan just didn't trust me enough to open up."
"Don't say that, Amira. I thought you said he cares about you?"
"Yes, but I'm not even sure what that means anymore; he seems incapable of caring for someone. And if he truly cared, he would've reached out by now. Why else would he just distance himself like that—sending me one measly text in response?"
"But the fact that he was even experiencing such strong emotions shows he does care. It seems you stunned him, Amira. Maybe he genuinely didn't know what to say in the moment, and he thought saying nothing was better than saying the wrong thing. It has to be deeper than just him refusing to open up because he didn't trust you. I've never met the man and that still doesn't sound right to me."
"I guess," Amira shrugged.
"But I do find it silly that we're sitting here trying to interpret a grown man's words," her mother added, grumbling a bit.
"Exactly, and it sucks because Rowan seemed all about communication until the roles were reversed, and I was the one asking questions," Amira noted.
"Hmm, it sounds like he has a problem dealing with his emotions. Maybe his parents never taught him how. Do you think his "dark past" has anything to do with his upbringing?"
Amira's eyes lit up at her mother's words. "That's a great question, mom. I didn't think about that," she sighed, gulping down the last of her water. Amira never once stopped to consider Rowan's upbringing, which was unfortunate because she knew he had a fickle relationship with his mother. And Rowan's father wasn't in the picture at all.
"Do you really love him, or did you just tell him that because you felt pity for him?" Her mother suddenly inquired, catching Amira off guard with such an intuitive question.
"Why do you ask? Would it be crazy if I loved him? I mean—"
"It's just something to think about, Amira. I'm not saying you don't. But when Rowan reaches out, which he will, you need to be certain where your heart is. If Rowan's past is as dark as he claims, you must be prepared to take the bad with the good. Let him apologize for hurting you. Make him beg for your attention. Then hopefully, he'll be willing to open up and be honest with you. If not, you need to move on, Amira, because if Rowan is unwilling to fulfill your emotional needs now, you can't expect him to in the future. He won't change."
"I understand," Amira nodded.
"I hope so because I know how understanding you can be—which isn't necessarily bad. It just means I raised a good kid. But you also need to know when to draw the line—when to shout that you've had enough. And I know that can be hard when you're dealing with someone you love."
"I know, mom. I understand," Amira nodded again as her mother cleared the table. Unlike Camila, Amira knew her mother's advice was sound. Her mom took a perspective that only wanted the best for her child. She spoke from the heart, and her words were rational and unbiased.
"Finish your food, Amira."
"But I'm full," Amira huffed, patting her stomach.
"Fine, I'll box it up with the rest of the leftovers. Do you want peach cobbler or cheesecake?"
"Oh, umm—"
"Never mind, I'll just pack both," she teased, laughing all the way into the kitchen.
.....
Meanwhile...
Amira wasn't the only one struggling. Rowan, for one, had done nothing but chastise himself for days on end. He had been utterly silent and riddled with guilt as he tried to process his faulty behavior. Rowan was so quiet that Storm had to call him up and demand that he meet with her. Rowan knew he was in for a treat if he decided to meet with Storm, but he did it anyway. He deserved a proper scolding, and once Storm laid eyes on Rowan, she did not disappoint. She let him have it for a good ten minutes, cursing him out until she started to feel bad for him.
Storm knew Rowan had no one besides her to really confide in. He had his brother, sure, but their relationship was already rocky. Thus, Storm knew she needed to settle down and offer Rowan her support. He only needed some guidance. Plus, there was nothing she could say that would make Rowan feel worse than he already did, so she stopped her profanities and became his voice of reason.
"Anyone from a mile away could see Amira's attraction for you. You can't tell me you didn't feel it."
"Attraction is different from love. I wasn't expecting her to admit that she loves me."
"So that gave you the right to string her along and then ignore her when she wanted answers? How is that fair?"
"It's not, and I truly didn't intend on stringing her along."
"Your actions tell a different story, Rowan. But regardless, you need to fix this. That poor girl is hurt; I heard it all in her voice when she called me and told me what happened."
"I know," Rowan agreed. He knew better than anyone how badly he fucked up. Rowan made several mistakes with Amira, all of which he deeply regretted.
"But you're human, I guess. You're far from perfect, and if Amira didn't know you had flaws before, she certainly knows now," Storm replied.
"You've come too far to let your past dictate your future, Rowan. I would suggest letting Amira decide whether or not you deserve her," she concluded, lighting a joint. Storm was disappointed in Rowan, and she knew how stubborn he could be. But at the end of the day, she also knew Rowan would do the right thing.
"Time is ticking. You need to get your shit together and figure out how to get back into Amira's good graces. And hopefully, she'll still want anything to do with you."
Rowan then sat in silence for a while, just thinking. He still didn't feel right, but thanks to Storm, he now knew what he had to do before he could even think to reach out to Amira.
With that said, Rowan decided to spend the next two days meeting with his other submissives—the ones he neglected. He needed to let them go; he had to. They were serving him no purpose, and Rowan was only hindering them from moving on with their lives. Therefore, he had to speak to them individually.
"I thought you forgot about me," Octavia voiced, strutting over to Rowan. He eyed her body from head to toe, reaching out to touch the numerous scars that littered her pale skin. She wasn't nearly as soft and voluptuous as Amira, which oddly annoyed Rowan. He didn't know he preferred a curvier woman until Amira.
Octavia then turned around, and Rowan spent a few minutes admiring her back. Octavia was the type to only get off on being physically punished, so she was extremely tolerant of pain. Her body was a literal work of art. She was covered in imperfections, and she loved every single one of them.
"You've healed nicely over the years," Rowan said, dropping his hand.
"Thank you," she smiled brightly. "Are you here because you need a release? I have condoms."
"No, I'm good."
"Are you sure?" She asked, dropping to her knees. "I've been loyal to you and only you."
"I know, but I'm not here for your body."
Rowan then told Octavia what she needed to hear—that she was free. She took the news rather well, and it almost seemed as if she was expecting it. Rowan then spent more minutes talking to her, confirming that Octavia knew he was serious. His decision was final, and he didn't plan on reversing it.
"Who is she?" Octavia questioned, stopping Rowan as he made his way to the door. He knew what Octavia meant, but instead of responding, he said goodbye and left.
It wasn't until Rowan released his last submissive that he felt some relief. A huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, but he wasn't done yet.
.....
Hey!!! We only have ONE chapter left. A lot of y'all had some very strong opinions about what occurred in the last chapter. Some were a little harsh, yikes, and no one fully understood what I was trying to convey.
The final chapter will be very eye-opening. I'm gonna take my time writing it. Stay tuned!!