'Cause I don't mind waiting around
'Cause, darling, who else am I waiting for?
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Today's Council meeting is scheduled for mid-morning. Esther, Xelin, and Quartz are planning to get IDed afterward, but Vi wanted to go at dawn to beat the lines, so I show up at Caitlyn's house in time for breakfast— stuff we raid from the pantry, since Mariette isn't finished cooking— so we can go together. Caitlyn's coming along as moral support. Jinx is refusing to take part in the program for the time being, as is her right, but she's coming too so she can piss the rest of us off. She's convinced the government will use the unpersonalized information she'd be giving up to screw her over. The fact that all her crimes have been officially pardoned and the government already knows exactly who and where she is doesn't change her mind.
We have an army of Piltovians hired to run the registration. Lumley and Councilor Kiramman insisted that trenchers couldn't be in charge, because they might pull strings to get themselves more than they're entitled to. Me and the others went with it to keep them happy. I designed the devices we're using, so I can pull any strings I want whenever I want. Not that I will. We argued our way into what we need already.
The whole situation is surreal. One of the most glaring truths in the Undercity up till now was how close you were at any given time to ruin. To no electricity. No mattress. No roof. No food. There was always a life to lead, and it could even be a good one, but you knew what it came down to at the end of the day: fight and steal and scrape and beg and hope, and do it well, or die with nothing.
From here out, we'll always have something.
The Topside streets are quiet and lit pink when we set off. Jinx leads the way, skipping sky-high and disappearing behind things she shouldn't be able to disappear behind. Caitlyn keeps a close eye on her. Vi trails behind, rereading the copy I wrote for her of what we put in the law books with a faint frown. She's not worried the government will screw her over— she just thinks voluntarily letting it perceive her goes against all laws of nature and is trying to get used to it. If she didn't have Jinx to take care of, I'm betting she'd turn the program down too.
I fall into step with her, drawing her attention away from the papers. She smiles and crumples them into her jacket pocket.
"I'm kind of regretting having that conversation with you," she says. "Now you're too busy bonding with your friends to spend any time with me."
"Shit. You're gonna need a new babysitter."
She cuffs me on the back of the head and links our arms. "Also regretting saying I'm okay with you being a smartass."
"Too late."
"Well, smartass, tell me this: did you know that Topside apartment we robbed belonged to Jayce Talis?"
"Yeah," I say, then get a glimpse of her glower. "Did you not?"
"Why would I? You were the only one who saw him when he came to Benzo's. Me and Caitlyn just figured it out yesterday by accident."
"Wow." I study her in my peripheral vision, searching for bad signals, but she seems okay. "Is it gonna be a problem?"
She snorts. "If anyone else finds out. Cupcake's mom would shoot my head off and Talis would open that smug mouth of his and start yapping on about laws and integrity."
I tilt my head back, gazing over the awnings. I can't count how many times I've tried to convince myself that what happened at the cannery wasn't on me for giving them that tip. After the smartass conversation, I think I'm finally getting it through my skull.
"Speaking of laws and integrity," I say, "have you talked to any Shimmer addicts lately?"
"Not other than to say hi or to get them out of our digging spot. I didn't think they talked much."
"They don't, but one stopped me yesterday. Their stockpiles are running low all through the city. Some of them have been tapering, but a lot of them haven't, and it's too late to start now."
Her eyebrows furrow. "How do you get addicted to Shimmer, anyway? I thought taking more than you need gave you an overdose."
Sometimes I forget that her time in Stillwater meant she missed all but a few days of Silco's empire. "It does when you take too much all at once. Addicts up their intake slowly enough that it doesn't overwhelm them, and eventually they go Shimmer-dominant. They can still overdose from there, because it's still a poison, but at that point, they need it to live too."
"So they can't quit cold-turkey?"
"No. If you don't taper, you die. Not in a good way. It's... slow."
Her arm tightens on mine, jerking me closer. "But you have the rehab clinics, right? The temporary ones? I've seen them. I thought you could use other drugs to offset withdrawal."
"You can, but the clinics aren't going up as fast as we thought. I don't think we'll have enough in time. I'd give it a week before their stashes are completely gone, two before we start seeing..."
"Seeing what?"
"Mass death."
Her footsteps falter. "What?"
"I know."
"What's the Council doing?"
"Rehab's gone higher on the list of priorities, but we can only make and import so much medicine so fast, and there's only so many people versed in administering it." Even though Caitlyn's pretty far ahead and distracted by Jinx, I drop my voice. "I want to go for harm reduction."
"Why're you making that sound like a bad thing?" Vi asks.
"Because we have to open the factories." We've had them guarded since the revolution, and this is the exact reason why. As far as the other councilors know, it's because I think burning such a large amount at once might do dangerous things to the air— which is a genuine concern I have, just not as big of one as I pretend— so we're removing and disposing of small amounts at a time. There are still barrels upon barrels that can be used.
Not that the Council would ever, ever agree to let that happen.
Vi's quiet for our next ten steps, and all she offers then is: "Shit."
"I'm bringing it up this morning, but they probably won't even consider it for days."
"Do you want me to come with you? Me and Walker and all of them were just gonna keep digging up those tenements."
I do want her to come with me, but she'd probably just upset Lumley and Caitlyn's mom more, and Quartz, Esther, and Xelin know the pros and endless cons of Shimmer better than she does. "No, it's fine. I'm telling you because I need you for something else."
"Yeah?"
I'm fully whispering now, turned toward her with my hand in front of my mouth, like I can trick myself into thinking my demand is smaller if I say it quieter. "Assuming the Council never agrees, if we don't pull anything better together, this will still have to get done."
A long pause. "Right," she says. "Sure. Shouldn't be too hard."
"I'm not asking you to do it," I say quickly. "Or— not at first. I'm going to do it. But if I get caught before I'm finished, I'll need you to find someone else who will take over. And if you can't find anyone—"
"Then I'm on it, Ekko. Promise."
I cringe at how easy her voice sounds. "Are you sure?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" She pushes me out of her face. "We've practiced for this since we were kids. Dealing drugs is nothing compared to burglarizing the Hextech extraordinaire's apartment."
I half-laugh, relieved. "True."
"Top of the morning to ya!" Jinx shouts at a man coming out of a shop. He turns around and goes back in. Caitlyn hurries to catch up with her, murmuring, "Jinx, it's still very early..."
Vi wasn't exaggerating about how little we've seen of each other the last couple days. I've had a simple time avoiding the topic during our thirty-second crossings of paths. Now, though, I don't have much of an excuse.
"How is she?" I ask.
"Powder?" Vi lights up. "Really good. She went back to the lab yesterday, and Caitlyn took her to the shooting range the day before that. She gets real close to me when she sleeps."
A memory of squeezing into Powder's bunk at a slumber party goes through my head, and I shake it off as fast as possible. "Did you guys talk?"
"Yeah. You were right on the money with that one. We shouldn't have put it off so long."
"How much did you cover?"
"Not a whole lot. It was hard for her." She chews her lip, watching Jinx's back. "For me too. Harder than I thought it'd be."
"But worth it?"
"God, yeah. And we'll get through the rest at some point, when we have time off and I figure out the words. But everything's already changed."
I follow her gaze. Jinx's braid swings back and forth, her arms sweeping through the air— I've always thought she contained more needless motion than the people around her, except maybe me. She savors the feeling of her body moving across space and time. When everything else I loved about her fell away, that never did. It just twisted.
"You really think this will work." I realize it as I say it. "You think you can get back to what you had with her."
"No," Vi says. "But I think I can go forward and have something new with her. Something new, built out of the same parts."
I don't bother dodging the train of thought I know she's moving to.
"It's up to Powder with me and her," she says. "It's up to you with you and her. But it's possible."
"It's not."
"Yet."
"Leave it, Vi."
She puts her hands up in surrender, lifting our linked arms. "Like I said: your call."
I wonder if Jinx would talk about me the way Vi talks about her. I wonder if she wants to go forward.
Yeah, right. As if the girl who ditched me for Silco without a word deeply values our relationship. All she is is lonely, and that's not my problem. She brought it on herself.
The gathering hall appears up ahead, flying a gold flag out front so trenchers can find their way. Me and Vi run to catch up with Caitlyn and Jinx so the latter doesn't take off and terrorize the registrars.
"Ready to go sell your soul to the machine?" she says to Vi, who rolls her eyes.
"The records aren't personalized," says Caitlyn patiently. "The government can't trace an ID number back to the individual to whom it—"
"'To whom it belongs, and blah, blah, blah,'" Jinx interrupts, exaggerating Caitlyn's accent. "So long, Vi. It was nice knowing you."
Vi rolls her eyes again and pushes her. Jinx stumbles and sticks her tongue out. They both glow.
"Wait," Jinx says. "What's that sign say?"
The ticket information for tomorrow is on a huge sheet of parchment outside the building. We put a copy in a central part of the fissures too, and for our first microphone and wire test, Caitlyn will be explaining everything over the new broadcasting system at midday. There's no stopping it anymore.
"A ball!" says Jinx.
"I meant to tell you yesterday," Vi says. "How come you didn't tell anyone anything about this, Ekko?"
I groan. "I was hoping there was still some way out of it."
"I want to go!" Jinx says. "Vi, are you going?"
"Yeah. Caitlyn's taking me."
To my horror, but not my surprise, Jinx turns a wide smile in my direction. "And who's taking me?"
"I'm sure you can get your own ticket," says Caitlyn, pointing to the sign. "You're in the third economic class for the Undercity. You can be out of the lab in time to make it to your slot."
"You people are gonna let me go alone and run around unattended?" Jinx says. "Well, you won't catch me complaining."
Caitlyn and Vi both open their mouths in alarm. "I'll take her," I say.
Jinx crows with delight. Vi and Caitlyn are doubtful.
"She can get her own ticket and stick with us," Vi says. "Take who you want."
"It's fine. I didn't have anyone lined up." Why am I doing this? "I wasn't gonna have fun in the first place," I say, digging my own grave. "I might as well do something useful."
Jinx cackles. "Don't worry, grumpy-pants. I'll make sure this is the funnest ball you've ever been to."
I suddenly envision her in an evening gown and have to resist the urge to snarl at her. "It'll be the only ball I've ever been to," I say dully instead.
Vi shrugs, but Caitlyn wears a nearly scandalized expression. "Are you certain?" she asks. "We—"
"I'm certain."
For the first time since she first posed this idea, I actually am.
On a related note, I'm also totally screwed.
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Intro lyrics from "Whenever I'm Alone" by Julien Baker.
obsessed with Ekko and Vi's relationship. obsessed with Ekko and Jinx's relationship. obsessed with Vi and Jinx's relationship. who am i kidding i'm obsessed with all their relationships