(Someone added this to a shelf called 'smutty wuttys' so now I'm wondering if people want me to write smut coz there isnt any in here -yet?-)
"I noticed." Ao'nung told Neteyam, releasing the hold on his arms, allowing them to rise to Neteyam's face this time. Lifting the heavy jaw up to meet his gaze once more, Ao'nung lost himself in the pools of molten gold staring back at him. Neteyam sagged at his words.
"I tried so hard. I have been trying to fit in, I want to fit in so badly. I worked harder than anyone else, trying to make my parents, my father-" Neteyam's voice broke at the name, and he moved on "But I am still other, an outsider."
"No." Ao'nung interjected. "They are the outsiders. If anyone doesn't recognise you for who you are, the work you put in, how hard you try, they are worth nothing." Truth was a driving force behind every word, Ao'nung meant every syllable.
"On that cliff," Neteyam's voice cracked violently, suddenly drawing Ao'nung's attention to the tears streaming down his face "I could only think it would've been so easy." Ao'nung almost collapsed, but forced his legs to hold him.
"What?" Ao'nung asked breathlessly. Neteyam tried to hide his head again, to turn away, but Ao'nung didn't want his... friend? Whatever. Ao'nung didn't want him to lock this away, not again. "Hey," he made sure his voice didn't betray his own panic. His hands still resting on the side of Neteyam's head, Ao'nung used his thumbs to wipe away the tear tracks on Neteyam's face, Ao'nung continued "don't worry." He resisted the urge to wipe away the new tears falling.
"How can you look at me?" Neteyam's head dropped, a slight resistance on Ao'nung's hands. "I was so selfish. All I could think about was myself, what I wanted." Ao'nung was so stunned by this confession he let Neteyam keep talking for a moment. "I didn't do the work to be helpful, I did it to try and gain attention, to earn some sort of reputation. No one of worthy-" Ao'nung snatched his thoughts back from confusion and cut him off.
"Stop that!" His voice was a bit louder than he intended, and Neteyam seemed surprised, momentarily meeting his eyes. "You are the most selfless person I have ever met." Ao'nung moved his hands to Neteyam's shoulders, and gently urged him to sit down. Neteyam all but collapsed to sit, Ao'nung wincing and following suit. Sitting cross-legged, Neteyam's tail was lifeless on the ground, shoulders slumped. Ao'nung cringed at the broken picture, trying to think of the words, the actions, whatever, to help him.
"Why do you think I have been so obsessed with you all these months?" Ao'nung asked, trying to will Neteyam's eyes to meet his.
"Because I'm so undeniably attractive?" Ao'nung lightened slightly at Neteyam's attempt of humour, weak as it was, but was nervous from the note of sarcasm and self-doubt in the tone of Neteyam's voice.
"That's definitely part of it." Ao'nung chuckled slighty, playing with a stray braid hanging over Neteyam's forehead.
"Can you tell me why?" Neteyam asked shyly, almost inaudibly. Ao'nung seized the opportunity to praise Neteyam for everything he did. He told him; he talked about how strong he looked when he was swimming, how perfectly he managed everything so quickly. About the determination Ao'nung could see in every movement Neteyam made when he was learning, mastering anything easily as the others breathed. How beautiful his face was in the starlight, but also in the light of day, under the wavering eminence of the water, and in the shade of a marui, sleeping. Ao'nung spoke of the way he found himself looking over his shoulder, and upon seeing Neteyam watching, discovered he had more confidence. He remembered Tuk, and how her face lit up seeing Neteyam, and how she hid behind his legs when she got nervous, and how Neteyam would tolerate anything she did just to see her smile.
"... and you always work so hard," Ao'nung emphasised both words with a shake of his arms, which he now realised were holding Neteyam's "to prove yourself. You have nothing to prove to anyone, if they dare call you 'other', then they are deserving of exile. They are the ones who do not belong." At some point while Ao'nung had been talking, Neteyam's eyes had left his, but now they found their way back. Ao'nung had an idea.
"Can I show you?"
Neteyam seemed confused, entrancing golden eyes blinking in surprise, trying to figure out what Ao'nung meant.
"Um, okay." He said slightly hesitantly. Due to this, Ao'nung made it obvious. He stood and kneeled behind Neteyam. He lifted his hands to Neteyam's braids, trailing his fingers along the beads and down Neteyam's neck.
"Did I tell you how much I love these?" Ao'nung whispered in Neteyam's ears.
"I think so?" Neteyam replied, still seeming confused. Ao'nung moved his arms to Neteyam's shoulders.
"And these?" He trailed his fingers down Neteyam's collarbone, and around his shoulder and gently massaged the skin there.
"Umm, I'm not sure." Neteyam said quietly, sighing at Ao'nung's touch.
Ao'nung then brought his hands down Neteyam's side, caressing his ribs and hips, the soft curve contrasting with tight muscle of his stomach.
"Tell me I didn't forget this." Ao'nung's voice was low, not a whisper but still hard to hear regardless of how close he was to Neteyam's ear. Neteyam sighed
"You did." Neteyam felt Ao'nung's hands stop.
"Did I?" He seemed genuinly surprised, and before he could apologise and correct the mistake, Neteyam responded
"No, I just wanted to hear it again..." Neteyam mumbled, annoyed at himself for having the nerve to be greedy and selfish right now. However, Ao'nung said
"I would talk about you until my lungs went dry. If you wanted to hear me praise you for anything, be it the perfect way you do everything, the reasons I love you, the image of your perfect body, I would talk forever. Death would have to seize my soul, and even then, I'm not sure Eywa would know what to do with it other than give it to you." Ao'nung whispered to him, once more tracing the lines along Neteyam's hips, the lighter skin of his chest, and along his shoulders. Neteyam seemed flustered again, all anxiety gone, until he cleared his throat.
"I, um... have something." He murmured, still leaning into Ao'nung's touch.
"Yeah?" Ao'nung asked, now leaning into Neteyam's shoulder from behind.
"A... gift." Neteyam finished. Ao'nung stopped his hand's roaming once more and lifted his head to look at Neteyam's nervous expression, glittering blue eyes wide in surprise.
"For me?" He asked, barely believing it.
"Yeah, um. I wanted to resume, er, courting each other. I meant it when I said we would be equals, so I will also bring you gifts." Neteyam told him, unhooking something from his waistband that Ao'nung hadn't noticed. A band of beads woven between thread, a familiar pattern present among the spherical decorations.
"That looks like-" Ao'nung started, and Neteyam nodded.
"I wanted to match, a small but clear indicator of... this." Neteyam said, holding out the band to Ao'nung, who took it. This item of jewellery was stretchier than Ao'nung's gift to Neteyam, too big for his ankle. Not wanting to diminish the beauty of the gift by breaking it or wearing it wrong, Ao'nung asked
"Can you put it on for me?"
Neteyam smiled wider, eyes crinkled in that heart-warmingly genuine smile Ao'nung loved so dearly. Neteyam took the band from him, and lifted Ao'nung's left arm. Before he could slip it on, Ao'nung started.
"Wait."
Neteyam instantly stopped smiling, expression awkwardly falling inwards and becoming reserved and sad, brow creased.
"Sorry, I-" Neteyam tried, but Ao'nung kept talking
"No, it's not you." Ao'nung said, firmly. This didn't increase Neteyam's confidence; that sentence was not a good one in terms of relationships. He let Ao'nung continue. "I stole everything from you."
It took Neteyam a second to realise what Ao'nung was talking about.
"You mean, bonding with me?" Neteyam asked, now treading carefully. Ao'nung seemed to have become distressed very quickly.
"I took every choice you could have made for yourself. You, the one who was made to flee from your home, the one who already had his life changed beyond his control. I took your free will from you." Ao'nung's voice was almost collapsing as it was, but he continued. "How can you even look at me? I took away your one chance to make this life that was forced on you your own." (does that sentence make sense? Also, I imagine Ao'nung saying 'one' like Mal says it in Descendants 1 when she says "This is our one chance, to prove ourselves to our parents")
Neteyam shook his head "My life doesn't revolve around mates and marriage prospects. There are other choices I can and will make for myself. You and I both know I was dying, I would have died if you didn't make tsaheylu with me." Neteyam was not stuttering, as if he had planned it. "And besides, you're not all that bad." He tried for a laugh.
"You deserve better!" Ao'nung seemed determined to get Neteyam mad at him, to invest the same amount of emotion as he was. But Neteyam was not mad, and he couldn't bring himself to hate Ao'nung, even annoyed. Ao'nung had saved his life. "You deserve a mate who can bring you and your family honour, not a juvenile screw up." Ao'nung turned away.
"You're the future Olo'eytkan, if anything, you should be worried about finding an honourable mate." Neteyam reminded him. This got Ao'nung facing back to him.
"No one could bring me more honour than you, Neteyam. No one." Ao'nung whispered, voice firm and low. Now Ao'nung stepped closer, resting his forehead in top of Neteyam's. 'I will never be good enough for you, never worthy of this role I have taken. But I will forever try to live up to it." Neteyam felt a tear drop from Ao'nung's chin to his own cheek. But Ao'nung's voice was strong now, constant.
"You have nothing to live up to. I want you as you are, and you are perfect." Neteyam leant back and looked at Ao'nung's eyes, glittering aqua. He held Ao'nung's arm gently, and slipped on the handmade band. Pulling it up the Ao'nung's bicep, Neteyam's fingers lingered on the muscle hidden beneath the skin, prominent even without flexing. Ao'nung smiled at this, clearly noticing it but not mentioning it.
"My, umm... My parents know about, us." Ao'nung said "And, yours too. I had to ask them about what I, um." He coughed, but Neteyam smiled and Ao'nung seemed to ease a bit. "So, we can begin courting each other." At Neteyam's raised eyebrow, Ao'nung clarified "Properly."
Neteyam smiled brighter and lifted himself slightly on his toes to kiss Ao'nung softly, barely meeting his lips. Ao'nung leaned down slightly as Neteyam pulled away, as if wanting more, but restrained himself.
"I'd like that."
Spot the Song of Achilles reference. This took me ages im really sorry but i had school off and we went camping, so no internet. Please enjoy, and let me know if yall actually want smut bc im getting mixed signals.