BENJI POV
Nine Months Later
"I still think it's weird..." Daisy whispered, traipsing at my side while we let Yoshi and Link play in the yard of the farmhouse with Princess Peach. She was wearing a soft green romper that she made and I was proud of how she and Trisha now made their own clothes and even took an online fashion design course so they could create patterns.
Trisha wants to go into fashion design, but my Daisy has her heart set on being a Veterinarian now that we have puppies running around. I had my heart set on sports medicine and was promised an internship at the hospital when I was a bit older so I could get a closer look at what that would mean for a career.
I shrugged, grabbing a tennis ball and tossing it softly while Peach allowed the little pups to get ahead of her for a chance at the toy. "I mean, it's kind of morbid, but I get why Lissy and Remington want to reclaim this date. They've done that with a lot of things so bad memories are turned into something with more joy." I turned and smiled at my best friend, thankful that our freshman year of high school only made our bond closer. "We had to reclaim the pond by having that swimming party in September, we reclaimed the porch with all those takeout dinners we devoured..."
"Oh my god and we've eaten so many s'mores at the bonfire pit, plus all our picnics in the meadow every weekend when the weather was nice!" she exclaimed with a bright grin.
Daisy was right.
Remington, Alice, and I were still mostly living at the rental house but spent more and more time at the farmhouse now that it was almost done. We planned to officially move when our rental agreement was over in about two weeks but had done so much work here that all that was left was painting and superficial changes.
Daisy and Trisha created the curtains for each room, pouring over fabric websites and getting my sister's approval before moving ahead with each project. Kenny helped us get the grill and smoker set up plus gifted me with a special wooden cabinet that Remi helped me put together and stain to match our kitchen so I can keep my smoking spices and rubs somewhere special.
We constructed an incredible bonfire pit surrounded with benches that Remi and I built as well as some Adirondack chairs that were a gift from Jesse and Rob. A wildflower meadow full of black eyed susans and blue violets became our go-to picnic spot, reclining under a large willow tree that also had a tire swing.
Plus the wifi reached the meadow so we could relax outside and still play Mario Kart. That was the best part. School was exhausting sometimes so Saturday afternoons spent snacking on sandwiches and brownies while we played video games made it a bit easier to get through the weeks of class.
Leah had their baby boy just after Christmas and he was an adorable bundle of chubby legs and giggles. Little Elijah brought joy to each of us and I loved when Daisy babysat since that meant she brought him across the street to our house for some play time. She would bring Maya with her all the time as well so our puppies got time with their mama frequently.
Eli was a hilarious baby and loved when we made faces and noises at him. Leah and Kenny had another foster dog at this time and she decided to quit her job to focus on Eli and fostering while Kenny continued his work as an at home nurse.
I was so glad he was there during my Dad's final days. I know he helped us get just a little more time with him before he passed away.
"BEEP??" I heard Alice holler from the back porch and grinned, turning to wave at my sister. She returned my smile and approached us while Yoshi ran right to her feet, pawing to get some cuddles. She was wearing the sunflower romper my mom loved all those years ago.
The old Dad remembered and now Remington adored on her.
"You would think these little guys never get any love with how affectionate they are," she laughed, scratching his tummy while we stood in contented silence while Link and Peach chased one another around the yard.
"Will everyone else be here soon?" I asked, nudging Lissy and she nodded.
"Yep. Jesse and Rob are on the way and Leah just texted that Eli had to have another outfit change so they're slightly delayed. Your barbecue pork is holding temp just fine and we have all the fixin's prepared so now we just wait for the rest of our guests. Doc already broke open a bottle of wine but I'm going to hold off until we get food going since we waited all day for this feast." Lissy leaned toward me and sighed, "I cannot believe how much has happened in a year, Beep..."
"Neither can I... a year ago right now we were in that forest and I was trying to make jokes while you picked pieces of glass out of my hair." My voice was quiet and shaky, but I forced a smile and laid my head on my sister's shoulder. "You sang to me and we made small talk with Remington then created nests from our sweatshirts in the woods .. I remember thinking Remington seemed nice and I liked how he took care of us."
I was almost taller than her. That day would come soon enough.
"I know it feels weird to have a celebration on a day when so many people lost their lives, but we just... I guess we felt like it was a good way to remind ourselves that beauty can come from tragedy." She sighed, giving a little shrug, "We keep reclaiming the tough parts of our lives so we can make new memories to replace the sad ones. Tonight is just one way we can do that."
Daisy approached, cuddling Link, and cooed as she reached for Lissy's left hand, taking it in hers and turning the sapphire ring on her fourth finger so it reflected the sunshine. "I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching your engagement ring sparkle, Liss. I know it was the one Greg had set aside for Clara but it is absolutely perfect for you."
My sister giggled and I noticed a blush on her cheeks while she nodded. "I feel the same way. I know we've been engaged for a couple months now but it doesn't get old. I keep catching the way it shines and get lost in the dark blue.... it's the same color as Remi and Beep's eyes."
"So, wedding at the end of the summer? Late Augustish?" I asked, knowing the answer since we had discussed the plans at length thanks to my type A sister and her penchant for making everything perfect.
Alice grinned, "Rob already got ordained so he'll handle the ceremony and we'll just have it here at the farmhouse in the meadow. Bec has a friend that's a florist and will make an archway out of wildflowers so it will just be a small ceremony with only the most important people in attendance. Oh, and then a cookout for the reception with Daisy's and my cupcakes."
"Including the pumpkin spice cake with cinnamon cream cheese icing?" I asked hopefully.
"Of course. We could never forget Greg and Clara's favorite flavor, especially at our wedding." She cuddled Yoshi closer as she spoke, radiating a glow of happiness that I loved seeing after all the years of struggle.
"I still can't believe he proposed by accident," Daisy laughed, shaking her head. "Leave it to Remington to have a plan for this incredibly romantic evening of candles and roses with all of us waiting here at the house then fumble before you leave the rental and propose while he puts on his shoes."
My sister cracked up laughing, joy across her features while Daisy recounted their story. It really was hilarious. He planned for them to arrive and have us there as a surprise, each of us with a planned speech to tell Alice how much she meant to us before he took his turn, asking her to be his wife. It was an amazing plan he put in place for weeks before the day finally arrived and got so tongue tied when he saw her dressed up that he couldn't wait any longer.
We were surprised that she was already wearing the ring when they arrived but went through the entire plan anyway, tears all around while we spoke of how she gave us hope, reflecting light and love into each of our hearts with her presence.
Remington called her a kaleidoscope and I loved the way that represented my Lissy.
Shattered and sharp edges from all the sadness she's had to handle, but those corners reflect light. She gives others hope by showing a pathway through grief.
I heard the screen door slam and looked behind us at my brother, approaching with a smirk in his expression as he watched us chatting.
He jogged toward us and I realized we were wearing coordinating button down shirts, laughing at the coincidence. Granted, we had a similar taste in clothes and tended to wear the same type of outfits often but it always made me laugh.
I like to think Reese would have been the same, accidentally matching the two of us when we got together then making a joke out of similarly toned polo shirts or Braves jerseys.
"We were just recounting the proposal fail," I laughed, playfully punching him in the shoulder while he approached.
Remi groaned, face palming as he laughed, "I just couldn't wait any longer. The ring felt like it was burning a literal hole in my pocket, guys, and the dress? Alice, that dress was just... wow."
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my sister, kissing the top of her head as she leaned into his embrace.
Remington made a good point. She wore a beautiful green dress that matched her eyes and I had never seen her look so pretty. Daisy wore a pretty yellow floral dress as we waited at the house while I had to wear a suit. I hated it until she shyly told me I looked handsome. Then I didn't mind near as much.
I hope Daisy and I are like them one day. We aren't ready now and have even talked about how we like each other but want to be kids as long as we can.
We want more summers of s'mores and swimming and riding bikes around town... the idea of having a serious relationship feels so grown up and neither of us are ready for that yet. Getting older will happen whether we like it or not, so we may as well soak up afternoons in the meadow and scrimmage ball games with our friends as long as we can.
And we don't need to be. Like my sister always says, there is no rush. We see each other all the time and the guys on the baseball team consider her our unofficial ballgirl now that she helps the team with practice. Coach Taylor couldn't help but allow her to give him a hand, especially since she was going to be there anyway. She was developing a strong arm, too, so playing catch was a lot more fun now that she had a sick knuckleball.
We had converted the barn by our baseball field into a makeshift hangout spot with some old couches and upgraded the bathrooms so they also had showers. Remi decided to put extra effort into the space so it could be used for practices as well as to give us a place to relax. The hay loft that was once dusty and empty now had bean bag chairs, cozy pillows, and outlets so we could make sure our phones and Nintendo Switches were always charged. We even had a bookcase with board games so our Monopoly and Catan nights could continue.
Lissy trusted us to use the space wisely and the team loved coming over to order Seb's pizza and have a spot where they didn't have to worry about anything. Food was always provided, and leftovers conveniently shoved into the hands of one of the guys that we knew didn't have enough to eat at home. Alice and Daisy always had fresh baked bread and desserts on hand as well, making sure everyone felt wanted and secure when they came to our place.
I quickly discovered a couple of the guys came from homes that were not happy or healthy. Therapy was helping me give them coping skills and learn to regulate themselves even if their parents were not able to get their shit together. Whether it was financial issues, messy divorces, getting caught in the middle of sibling issues... no matter the problem, the guys knew they could give me a call and have a place to crash if needed.
Alice, Remi, and I talked a lot about how we could maybe foster kids from bad families in the future. The farmhouse had a lot of room and we already had plans to convert one of the empty barns into an apartment of sorts for me when I got older.
We just wanted to help and make sure no one felt as lonely and abandoned as we did when our parents died.
So that no one felt as lost and alone as my brother did for so many years when his family fell apart after Reese died.
I looked toward my sister as Remington whispered something in her ear, causing her to giggle and blush.
She has never looked so happy and carefree.
Alice spent so many years working herself to the bone so she could take care of me. She fought to keep me in her custody and worked so hard to get her degree and now work in her dream career... all while keeping my dumb ass out of trouble.
I was terrified to move here. I didn't want anything to change and was positive it would be a disaster but trusted Liss and knew if we stuck together everything would work out. I had to stay strong for her but she was doing the same thing for me, even as we sat on that train and kept triangle breathing to make sure our anxiety stayed under control.
Then I got to meet Remington... and Greg.
I think of my Dad once in awhile, especially since Remi moved all the family photos to the farmhouse along with a bunch of different frames so we could have pictures of those we love nearby.
Photos of Remi and Reese with chocolate stained faces, of his family together on the front porch swing that we repainted and upgraded so it was bigger, next to a few of my family including the first ever picture of Lissy and me when I was born.
The day she knew she'd always be there for me.
Scattered throughout were snapshots of new memories, like Remi and Alice dancing in the kitchen and Trisha, Daisy and me cuddling our puppies for the first time. One from when Eli was born and Lissy got to hold him soon after, cuddling the blue bundle with tears in her eyes as Remington stood at her side.
We had so much to remember but even more to look forward to.
A sunset wedding in a few months.
College in a few years.
Nieces and nephews at some point down the line too.
I smiled at that thought and was nudged by Daisy, who asked, "What's going on in that head of yours, Ben?" Her nose crinkled and she gave me a sly grin that I knew meant she could read my mind.
She does that a lot, but I don't mind.
"I was just wondering when I'll get some nieces or nephews. It's gonna be boring around here once we officially move into the farmhouse and the wedding is over."
They broke out laughing and Remi shook his head "Bro, we've been through this before. We don't plan to have kids right away but I can promise it won't be boring. There is way too much fun to be had on this property and your apartment to build in that barn as well."
"We will have the weekly scrimmage games at the field, pizza nights for your buddies and a place to crash if any of your friends needs a safe place to stay," Alice added, nudging me with her elbow. "I want our home to be a place where everyone feels comfortable and like they belong... a safe space no matter what they have happening in their homes." She turned slightly to look Remington in the eyes and gave him a soft smile, "The kind of home we could have used when we were younger."
"It already does." Daisy's statement had a sense of finality to it and I agreed with a nod while we all heard a car approach and puppy bark.
"Guess Oreo is here to play with her brothers!" I laughed, walking toward their car as Trent let the sweet puppy onto the ground to greet her siblings. They got together pretty often but it was still entertaining to watch the dogs wrestle while Maya and Peach tried to keep track of them.
Trisha giggled as the three pups wrestled, giving Daisy a side hug as they greeted one another. She was still a cheerleader but had grown so much closer to us now that she saw how much freer life can be when you're authentic. Daisy had new friends as well, but kept her circle small mostly so she could spend as much time as possible with us.
I was okay with that.
The rest of our friends arrived and after the puppies were tucked into one of the spare rooms that held some toys and puppy beds we dove into a meal fit for kings and queens. Kenny continued to teach me the ways of the smoker and even gave me his granny's recipe for baked beans with smoked pork belly which were perfect alongside our meal.
Rob and Jesse were smiling like idiots at one another, a gold band on each of their left hands after they impulsively took a trip to Vegas and got married about a month ago. They FaceTimed us from the wedding chapel and had one of the attendants hold the phone so we could watch them say their vows to love, honor, and respect one another.
I knew it was a bit disappointing for Remington not to be there and see his best friend get married, but he was so happy for them that it overshadowed any hint of sadness.
The marriage was perfect for them, even if everyone in town didn't agree with who they were. I would never understand how you could judge a person for a part of them that's born into their very being. Having Jesse and Rob as friends also helped some of the guys on the baseball team realize that being gay was not a curse or some kind of sickness.
It was part of your identity and something to be celebrated, not hidden away.
I surveyed the full dining room, watching as Doc passed cornbread to Leah while Eli smeared baked beans on his face from the highchair in the corner. Jesse cracked a joke to Taylor while Remington listened in, laughing along with his friends.
Is this what happiness is?
The question had been in my head for a long time and I decided that yes.
This is happiness.
Being surrounded by people you love, that love you for who you are in spite of mistakes you've made.
Seeing the value in what other people bring to your life and appreciating the memories you've created.
Once everyone had started eating, Remington stood and cleared his throat, effectively getting the attention of the room.
The sun was setting so there was a golden glow to the room as I stared at my older brother, proud that he chose us and saved our lives... even if he claims we're the ones that saved him.
"I want to thank you all for joining us today..." He cleared his throat again and I noticed Alice circle his wrist with her fingers, synching their breathing as we used to do so frequently to center ourselves. Remi continued, "One year ago today I got on a train to say goodbye to my Dad. He was in Hospice care and I never wanted to come back to Tulip Tree. I never wanted to step foot back in this house or see that pond ever again."
I saw tears shine in his eyes and smiled as he caught my gaze, trying to encourage him to continue just like he did for me on that train when I needed to ask the attendant for an extra water bottle.
Just like he always did for me.
"Guys, it was hard to board that train and know I was saying Goodbye to the only family I had for years. I felt lost and alone, but that's something I had felt for years... between the weight of my parents divorce on my shoulders and blaming myself for Reese's death it was hard to keep myself from sinking into that swamp of sadness constantly..." his voice cracked and I saw Liss take his hand in hers, kissing the palm while he powered on. "And then I looked across the train car and saw a gorgeous brunette with bright green eyes and felt... something. I was empty and felt nothing for years but then this woman and her kid brother came crashing into my world during one of the most traumatic experiences any of us have experienced. I saw a glimpse of my brother Reese and something new flared in my gut. I had hope."
Remington took a sip of his beer and chuckled, "Then we slowly grew closer. Jesse, having you as our nurse in the hospital while Doc was also caring for us was incredible. Memories of you wheeling Benji between our rooms with my Dad trailing behind will be with me for the rest of my life..."
"Your stupid camo cast," Daisy laughed, nudging me as the entire table laughed at her comment.
"I still can't believe you guys all pranked me so much with my joke," I groaned, chuckling as I remembered how many high fives were ignored due to using my camouflaged cast hand.
Jerks.
My brother laughed and nodded, "Exactly, Daisy. Even the early days at the rental house, you and Lissy were baking up a storm like when we had waffles and did those ice cream sandwiches that were so messy but so good."
"Ohhhh let's do that again soon, Dais!" Alice exclaimed with a bright grin on her face.
"Getting to know Jesse better and then suddenly we had Kenny as my Dad's nurse plus Taylor, Bec, Trisha and Trent there next door to his house... it's like you all found us and gave us a community when we needed it most. And then getting to know Leah, adopting Peach..." Remington continued musing and I sniffled, all the moments he described flooding back into my heart. "And Rob, I know we met under sad circumstances but seeing how carefully you respected my Dad's final wishes as well as the care and concern you showed us when we were strangers... it meant the world."
Daisy took my hand and squeezed it, wiping a tear from her eyes as well. I knew how much those moments meant to her also. She felt like she didn't have anyone but her mom and then suddenly the found family we crafted accepted her as well.
Remington took a deep breath then continued, "I thought I was coming back to say Goodbye, but instead I've had the chance to say Hello. For the first time in years I have a family I love and that loves me back, even though only one of you are officially blood related." He gave me a smirk and I laughed, shrugging my shoulders at his comment.
He's not wrong.
Learning we were half brothers was overwhelming. I had only ever had Alice and knew Remi would be there as her boyfriend and eventually husband but knowing he and I had the same birth father... it was a lot to process.
"I want to thank you all for making this the best year of my life. And for my Alice..." he looked directly at her now, focusing his attention on the woman I knew he loved both in words and actions, "I came here with a load and it feels so much lighter now I met you."
She sniffled while laughing, the lyrics to the song "Green Eyes" a perfect description of how their relationship worked so well.
They balanced one another out perfectly, even with their faults.
"My little lamb, I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life at your side, filling the walls of this farmhouse with more photos of memories. I can't wait for more dinners as you teens get older and bring your families here, too. This house used to be a place I dreaded visiting. Now... now, I can't wait to spend our lives creating something beautiful here."
"Well, and since Eli is going to be a big brother next year..." Leah interjected, causing everyone to squeal and cheer at the announcement. She laughed after accepting the congratulations then continued, "We will have more little ones to keep those puppies occupied, too. You teenagers and Trent will keep growing but there will be a new crop of littles to keep everyone busy."
Remington chuckled and reached across the table to give Kenny a knuckle bump. "I am so happy for you two, and can't wait for us to start our family one day... just not anytime soon since we kind of like the way things are right now."
Alice laughed, "We want to get Beep through high school before adding to the brood. You never know what trouble this kid will get up to and having a baby that cries all night may not be the best thing for his schoolwork or baseball performance."
Taylor chuckled and raised his beer toward Remi while they locked eyes in agreement.
I knew what she meant. They had both gone through so much and wanted to continue healing as well. It wasn't just time to grow as a couple. It was time to reclaim the broken parts of their hearts so they could be grafted into something new.
Something special.
"Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you. This has been an incredible year, in spite of the sadness and devastation we have dealt with. I'm grateful for all of you and the way we somehow made something beautiful out of the ashes of a train wreck."
My sister raised her wine glass and stood, wrapping her arm around Remington's waist and standing on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. "To found family and making memories that will last a lifetime."
"To found family," we echoed, clinking lemonade glasses or beer bottles or wine glasses around the table.
Everyone resumed chatting and passing platters of food, sharing cornbread or sliding bowls of coleslaw as we enjoyed the incredible meal. Kenny had taught me well and I was excited to have another summer of experimenting with the smoker ahead of us.
After dinner I took the puppies out back to play for awhile, as the guys handled clean up and Alice showed Bec, Leah, and Doc the new lighting fixtures we had recently installed in the bedrooms.
Daisy followed and wrapped one of my sister's cardigans around herself, approaching me with a smile. "I've never heard your brother say so many words at one time."
I leaned my head back and laughed, knowing how true that was.
She shook her head, "I don't think I can ever thank you for being such a great friend for me, Ben... I felt so lonely and didn't know how to get past the bullying and solitude. I dreaded school and felt like I would never fit in anywhere... and then we were playing Mario Kart and having Catan marathons. Your sister was treating me like her sister, sharing clothes and giving advice that I could never ask my mom about." Daisy let out a happy sigh, "I know you guys came here for a fresh start but I didn't realize how much I needed that as well until I met you."
"I was just glad to have a friend that could keep up with my sparkling wit," I joked, smirking as she giggled. "But I agree. Having you at the hospital helped, especially since we could make jokes about Liss and Remi behind their backs when they were being overly sappy."
"That girl had him wrapped around her little finger with a single smile, Ben. It's incredible. Coach told me the other day that Remington didn't date much in high school and was never really that outgoing, but now look at him... hosting big parties and giving speeches."
I wiped an imaginary tear and sniffled dramatically, "Our little boy has grown so fast!"
Daisy laughed again and leaned into me, "I'm serious, Ben... it's amazing to watch adults as they bloom into a better version of themselves."
Her words sunk in and I gave her a soft smile, tucking a stray hair behind her ear which made her blush.
I loved making her blush.
"That just means we will get to do the same thing. Keep growing and evolving into the people we're meant to be as time goes on." I grinned, "I know our Freshman year is over but we will have a lot to keep us busy this summer and I'm sure next year will hold even more adventures."
She smiled and we were interrupted by Trent racing toward us, shouting, "Time for s'mores! Come on, puppies!" He held their leashes so we could make sure none of the little guys got too close to the bonfire, clipping one on each and leading them toward the rest of our party.
"Shall we?" I asked, offering Daisy my arm.
"We shall." She looped her arm through mine and leaned her head against my shoulder.
Right where it belonged.
We were happy to wait on any kind of official relationship, so until then I would be patient and continue growing our friendship. We both had a lot to learn and plenty of growing up to do.
Alice found us by the firepit and slid her arm around my waist as Daisy went to sit by her mom. "I just realized something Beep."
"What's that, Lissy?" I asked, bumping her hip with mine causing her to smile.
She let out a happy sigh, "I haven't had one of those bad gut feelings in a long time... you know, the ones we both used to get all the time that would make us do our breathwork?"
I paused and thought about what she said.
"I haven't, either. I still do breathwork but mostly when I'm running or something so I can make sure I breathe properly. Oh, and a couple times during exams, but that makes sense. You haven't had to do the wrist trick on me in ages..." I mused, smiling at her as we stared at the growing bonfire Taylor and Remi were building.
She hummed, "I used to be afraid of changing, cause I built my life around you, Beep..." she sang softly, giving me a wide smile. "Time has changed so much but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we're stronger after coming here."
"This was definitely the right choice, Liss," I agreed with a nod. "I mean, a year ago it was just the two of us... now we have Remington, a farmhouse, two dogs, and all these friends around us..."
"I never would have imagined," she sighed as Remi approached us and ruffled my hair before sliding to the other side of my sister.
We stared at the bonfire while the sun finished setting over the mountaintops and I felt myself embrace the joy and contentment from this evening.
This is our home now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
THE END
Author's Note
I have an epilogue coming soon, but thank you for joining me on the journey of Alice, Remington, and Benji.
Also, I've considered writing some bonus chapters (like the proposal scene) so if that's something you would be interested in, please let me know.
Thank you. For your patience, perseverance, kindness, and support.
Love,
Lizzy