Very much like his nephew, Mark didn't smile. But perhaps it was because I was forcefully robotic with him, warily restraining my body and mind. Those eyes above me bared a heightened awareness that was no doubt learned through all his years of swaying jurors and attacking the prosecuting team. He was a man who could read another person easily. But that was a game I knew all too well, and I wondered if that was why his eyes narrowed ever so slightly in suspicion. Undoubtedly he saw the rawness in my eyes moments before. But before him now stood a nobody, suddenly baring nothing.
He offered his arm and led me away from the waiting area and through the main office doors. I expected to find myself in the office that overlooked the waiting area, but instead we approached a pair of golden elevators and were whisked off to the 20th floor.
I kept quiet the whole time, refusing to look around and mindful of my own disinterest. Breathe, breathe, my inner sanity tried to clamor down any more outbursts. I refused to look around at the people we passed; scared that in their faces I'd see the echoes of those from my past.
I followed Mark Donovan to a large office that overlooked most the city. Hayden stood by the windows, watching all those people move beneath.
"Are you satisfied," he asked without looking at his uncle.
"Very," Mr. Donovan said as he offered me a seat with a raised hand. I sat unsure, watching Mr. Donovan seat himself in the large chair before me. Hayden turned away from the window and met my eyes. After a moment of silence, he finally, purposely said each word slowly, "Alys, may I introduce my uncle, Mark Donovan."
I nodded my head while holding Hayden's gaze. He scanned my face and body in one quick moment before he finally leaned away from the window and came towards me. He casually sat down in another chair, but one, I noted, that put him between his uncle and I.
Nervously I squeezed my hands together, finally sparing a glance towards Mr. Donavan. He was watching me silently. He seemed to be trying to solve some type of puzzle; a look I had seen on Hayden many times.
"Is she your girlfriend?" He finally asked. My heart leapt in my throat, and an unflattering blush seeped across my skin.
"No," said Hayden slowly. He was watching his uncle with that same probing gaze. It stayed silent like that for another moment before Mr. Donovan finally sighed and looked back towards his nephew.
"Then carry on." he leaned back and watched Hayden down his nose. At first those words seemed to irritate Hayden. But as quickly as it came it went. Hayden rose from his chair and pulled out the pen from his pocket.
"I want to know these." he murmured, probably aware of my curious gaze that tracked him at the moment. His hand lowered down towards the paper, and he began circling something upon in.
His uncle relented from his comfortable position and moved in close towards Hayden as he tracked the pen's movements along. It seemed that slightly bit of agitation I had seen on Hayden had moved to his uncle. Whatever Hayden was showing him, he wasn't too pleased to participate with.
I waited for either of them to acknowledge me, but it never came. Minutes pressed on before I realized they had no intention of recognizing me. Which only meant one thing.
I wasn't needed here...
My embarrassment suddenly grew. I watched them talk in legal terms and words I didn't actively understand, realizing I was only brought up since I could not be trusted to be alone. It seemed right on cue, Hayden's hard silver gaze swept back and looked at me and I got the dreadful sense he was mad at me.
Why wouldn't he be? This meeting was none of your business, but yet now he is forced to have you in here.
I tried my best to be a shadow in the background, but I kept catching the eyes of both men as they seemed to take turns and watch me in silent consideration. The moment would pass, their words would never falter as they went back to work, but I felt they took with them more and more of calmness each time.
From what I could gather, Hayden was asking questions and gathering information on someone in politics, our governor I decided, but I couldn't quite catch the name so I couldn't be sure. I frowned as I watched Hayden move, but so did Mark. He was clearly wary of Hayden's interest, and the only reason I knew he felt that was because his tell was the same as his nephew's.
They kept their words purposely bland otherwise. I chewed lightly on the edge of my lip in observation as I traced my bag, piecing together what little information they offered me. The way Mark watched Hayden distrustfully, but still answered his questions made my teeth tug slightly harder on my skin. So even though this man doesn't trust you, why has he still decided to see you, Hayden; relenting to this meeting and keeping up with the vagueness of your questions? Again Mark hesitated over a word, and proceeded with a more cautious answer to Hayden's question, which I hadn't heard.
But I didn't believe this was done out of family love or some supposed loyal bond. The same situation could be seen between my mother and I; she kept my secret too and played cautious by the rules around us. It by no means made her a good person or even an ally. It almost felt instead like I was trapped in a world only we were in, and it made my life that much harder.
That dark distorted face Hayden wore a few weeks ago was not far from my mind. Though in this moment he was cordial and calm... I could still see it; that hatred, anger, and betrayal. And I would never forget it.
Yes, I raised my eyes as I found Mark again, you can not be trusted.
He was watching me back, hands finally folded in front of his mouth. After a moment of unwavering eye contact, his lip rose ever so slightly into the resemblance of a smile.
"I must ask your forgiveness today for our oversight in letting Mr. Steward get passed security, but I hope otherwise you are unharmed. It was a pleasure meeting you Alys."
I stood cordially and nodded my head towards him. "I appreciate your concern, and yes I am fine now. Thank you for allowing me to sit in here even though you were working."
He inclined his head slightly just as Hayden again put himself between us again, grabbing the papers off the desk.
"Uncle," he said evenly. Mark's gaze flickered to Hayden's face for a moment before he stood and buttoned his suite jacket. "I will walk you both out, I have a meeting anyways."
And at that Hayden moved towards the hallway and I trailed closely behind him. I could feel that nuclear aurora radiating from his skin and I wondered in fear whether it was from his uncle... or because of me.
Just as we neared the elevators, my eyes rose and met a woman's as she left a room labeled Legal Stenographer. She froze as she watched me, and I almost faltered on my steps too.
"Alys?" she whispered, but I was already moving swiftly, pulling Hayden with me into the now open elevator door. He glanced quickly down at me, then across the room to where the woman sat dumfounded- still staring at me with wide eyes.
I jammed the button closed, and the elevators immediately obeyed.
But the last thing I realized as they swept shut; Mark Donovan was staring at her too.
.
.
.
Hayden didn't say anything to me.
At all.
I waited dreadfully, practically huddled in the far side of the elevator but his voice never appeared. I turned and watched him warily, and though he stood next to me he neither looked at me nor acknowledged my presence.
We left the elevator and I followed him wordlessly out into the large open lobby, then on to the parking lot. I slowed my steps towards the jeep, ready to say I would rather just walk home, but he stood beside the passenger door and opened it, staring coldly at me.
And that was when I knew for sure it was me that he was mad at.
I hesitated, but finally I stepped forward. He drove us in the opposite direction of my house. I watched him with guarded eyes, trying to determine what I should say- if I should say anything at all.
"I'm sorry." I finally whispered. He didn't respond in the aftermath of my words and I couldn't blame him. He had never wanted me in that office with him, but there I was; sitting and watching a territory that should have been off-limits.
Finally after the longest time, his rough voice finally broke through.
"She was a court reporter."
"What?" I asked, just in time to realize who he was talking about.
"The lady who left the Legal Stenographer room," he clarified, "The court workers who type everything said in a hearing. She recognized you."
"Yes." I finally said. But he didn't push it after that; he kept whatever conclusions from my admission to himself.
"Are you mad at me?" I finally asked.
That cold gaze swept right and stared at me intently, making me suddenly scared how he could still be driving straight. Finally he looked back towards the road but not before I noted his hand tighten on the steering wheel.
"Why didn't you pretend to be a wallflower or a nobody when that man came up to you?"
So he was mad that I snapped? I felt embarrassed and defeated suddenly; I hadn't put too much thought into that fact that even though he saved me... it didn't mean he wouldn't be angry with the mess I was making.
"I don't know, I couldn't help it I guess. I don't do to well in places like that... and listening to what he was saying.... I just- I couldn't."
The brakes to the jeep suddenly slammed down and I was pitched tightly against my seat belt. When we were finally stopped, Hayden whipped his head to me. "Did I ever say a thing about you losing it?"
"W... what..." I mouthed like a fish, at a loss for what was happening.
"That came second. WHY did you engage the man first?"
"But... you're mad I snapped."
"I'm livid," he clarified, "that you- without thinking- begin talking to scum lawyers and sharks who will do anything to get their teeth on an unsuspecting person."
"You... think I was going to comprise what we are up to?" my lips mouthed dumfounded. "Like I would say 'oh hey, by the way, I'm about to commit some crimes soon? Wanna watch? You can be my lawyer too!'" I suddenly found my anger and turned to fully face him. "Do you think I'm that stupid?! For fucks sake Hayden, you went into some meeting with the very man you despise, and yeah I wasn't prepared to be left alone, but it doesn't mean I can't think for myself when you're not around! I was never going to mention your name, our school, or any godforsaken mural."
"It means," his voice was sharp, cold, "That when somebody dangerous like that prowls around, you can't be trusted to have enough sense to stay quiet. Did it ever occur to you that he wasn't looking for real clients? The maybe he was looking for someone to work-over real quick before fleeing?"
"Of course I thought that!" I snapped, "I knew he was a fraud, his whole attire practically screamed it so. And I knew that he was looking for some easy down payments before he would escape- he told me as much that he charges a hefty price up front!"
Hayden stared at me incredibly, eyes somewhat wide as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. At first I thought he hadn't realized until then that I knew all along the guy was a money peddler. But then he said, "You fucking think that when he came to that lobby, the young little girl in the corner with average clothes, an old leather side bag, and a very quiet demeanor screamed to him I HAVE MONEY PICK ME?"
My brows creased together suddenly unsure. "Well, no."
"Then why did he choose you, Alys?"
I opened my mouth but couldn't find the words. He chose me because I looked like an easy target! But that wasn't right. There were too many people who had perked up after hearing his stupid speech. But he didn't even try with them. No, he went straight to me yet I was one of the few who were ignoring him. I was also the only girl at the moment as well.
"That's not what happened," I whispered, unsure whether to him or to myself.
"That is what happened," Hayden leaned in, and I stared at him wide eyed. "That man was going to take you somewhere private, and find other ways to pay his supposed fees. And you should have never encouraged him. The moment he went up to you, you should ignored him outright or gone to find help. JESUS Alys, you of all people should have seen what he was up to!"
I stared dumbfounded at him. I couldn't understand it. I had always been able to discover what people were up to... why didn't I see it?
"He was like them..." I finally whispered.
"What?" Hayden asked.
"That's why I couldn't see it; why I couldn't realize he'd want me that way. The last time I was here I was just a child, no one would ever look at me like that, even the sleazy lawyer, and this situation was just too similar to that... and I couldn't see it..."
He was quiet as he stared at me. But I was struggling with the realization I had just screwed up so much.
"Is that why you broke down?" he finally asked more softly, "Is that what you were thinking about?"
I nodded slightly. He stared at me for another long moment before he sighed. He seemed about to say something more, but decided against it and closed his mouth.
I looked out the window as he began driving, feeling sick to my stomach. I could still feel how angry Hayden was, but he seemed to have decided to spare me any more yelling. But I thought back to the man, Mr. Steward apparently, and to what should have been the obvious red flag from the beginning; he wouldn't stop staring. I shivered slightly.
Hayden's voice broke through my thoughts in a blank tone that carried no emotion I could read, "...You're okay."
But even in its bareness, it still comforted me.
You're okay.
Just breathe.
.
.
"Where are we?" I murmured slightly, staring up at the apartment.
"I'm about to eat. I assume by the way you inhale food, you'll be wanting some too."
"Wait, so you live here?"
He looked back at me skeptically, like I shouldn't even have to ask. "Would you like me to show you my driver's license?"
I narrowed my eyes at him, "It's not that I didn't believe you, I just wasn't excepting something so-"
"Nonromantic." he interrupted in a dry mocking voice; his sardonic words of our date still pissing me off. I resisted flipping him the bird.
"I was going to say intimate." I smiled sweetly, making him narrow his eyes. I strode passed him and waited at the doors. "When will your uncle be home?" I asked as he began unlocking the door.
"He doesn't live here," Hayden said evenly as he pushed open the door. I followed him in; my heart rising in fearful wonderment. I was in Hayden's house. The man that for years I would have done anything to remain hidden from. I wondered in a dreadful moment if I was flying to close to the sun.
"Why did we come here?" I asked him, staring intently at his back as he removed his shoes.
"If you think my house is a home; that it's some intimate personal part of my life and I am inviting you into it, you are wrong."
Just as he said this, the lights flipped on and I was left staring at a horribly dismal and bare room. Even if he hadn't of said it, now staring at it I could fully see it. This wasn't a home, this place meant nothing him. He was losing nothing by inviting me in. I wasn't sure if that comforted me or scared me.
I slipped off my shoes and followed him into the living room, staring at an old sofa and banged up coffee table. The apartment was clean and new, but it was also barren. Besides the bit before me, the room bore little else. I could see at one point there had been a TV placed on the far wall, but it had since been removed. Small picture frames dotted some walls, but I had the suspicion they were only hung in a vain attempt to make this place resemble a home. Looking at them, they were of places rather than people.
I followed Hayden further along as he set his stuff on a small wall table dividing the dining room, kitchen, and living room. I peeked around the corner and examined the small space; there were two rough chairs to a medium sized wood table. Two cups were left upon the top, both had some water in their base. I wandered slightly into the kitchen, noting that there were two plates left out too, but had no food residue on them. I wondered who Hayden was eating with, but it was hard to picture that. I wondered why he had cleaned everything else but left these out.
I turned my head, seeing him leaning against the door frame, arms crossed. I tilted my head as I gazed at him.
"With such a lively kitchen, do you even have food to cook with?"
He raised an eyebrow but finally leaned off the frame and wandered forward. As he opened the fridge, I was extremely pleased he did in fact have a full stock of meat and vegetables, and dairy.
"We'll need to make extra." he said under his breath, "I have someone coming here in a bit."
"Really?" I asked surprised. He glanced at me irritably but I shrugged it off, "Hey, you might be popular at school, but I figured you a recluse otherwise." I turned and began opening cupboards in a search for clean plates.
"Do you always concern yourself with my personal activities outside of school?" His dry voice asked. I could hear him pulling items out.
"No." I said, then frowned, "well...until now."
I turned and faced him, trying to decipher what he was up to, "Why were you asking about our Governor to your uncle?"
In reality I was only guessing that was who they were speaking about, they purposely failed short to mention any names.
His hand squeezed tightly on a jar of Mayo, and a hard gaze moved to glare at me.
"How very observant of you."
"Are you mad I guessed right?"
"No. You were going to know anyway. I just rather my uncle think you were ignorant to it so he wouldn't feel compelled to pry."
"Oh." I said softly, "I guess I kind of ruined that by needing to be supervised."
"Yes." he said coldly, "But I figured you'd pester me until I told you afterward. I've been wondering why you haven't asked yet."
I shrugged lightly, "Well if it helps I have yet to decide the reasoning."
Hayden smiled suddenly, and I found myself staring at his mouth.
"How nice to think I might have a leg up on you."
We ended up making breakfast sandwiches as it was the easiest but hardiest thing. As we worked I let my mind wander, trying to figure out Hayden's real intentions. If we went to the bureau building before this, it was almost a guarantee it would be connected to whoever showed up. And considering the part of the mural we were working on now was the fraud and embezzlements, I had a good idea who would be at the door. Sure enough, the knock sounded and Hayden welcomed a dark skinned boy in carrying loads of computer equipment.
I shook his hand as I nodded to his gear, "Computer Tech?"
"Oh indeed. My names Randal." he grinned at me. And then he paused slightly staring at me, "I didn't know there was going to be a girl here. Hayden just said someone, but not a girl someone- and especially not a pretty one at that."
I wasn't quite sure how to respond so instead I said with the utmost sincerity, "He only lets me out of the basement on Tuesdays." and walked away.
I didn't know what kind of state I left Randal in, but I heard the instant snap from Hayden's voice, "Jesus, she's joking!" And I smiled.
We settled down around the coffee table, and I set the sandwich in front of Randal. He eyed me skeptically, but finally shrugged and dove in.
"So you're the one who will get this anonymously, yes?" Randal said over a mouth full of food.
I nodded over the bacon in my mouth as well. Only Hayden seemed to be adult enough not to talk while eating. He narrowed his eyes at me as I licked some crumbs off my lips but glanced towards Randal seriously, "You have to include a letter. Something along the lines of "since you're working on a tribute for this school- I thought you should know the truth of what is going to be painted."
"Aye, aye" Randal said already typing swiftly, "She won't be accused of getting this information- I promise. She'll just have to face the consequence of using it though."
His brown eyes glanced to me unsure, "You sure you want to do this, I mean- why would you throw your life away like this. You might be sued."
"I'll be fine, this is what I want." I whispered softly. God knew this was what I wanted. Randal finally shrugged at my words and returned to the fast typing chaos that I assumed was more or less mundane to him by now. He typed faster though, as if pressured by those next to him who watched him, but he didn't seem to miss a key stroke.
He probably wondered why such a normal girl would be in here, collaborating on this. If only he knew it wasn't just my eyes that gazed upon him. The demon inside of me, the tick, seemed to greedily gaze at his fingers in their fast typing tremor; the movement oddly exciting like he too had a compulsion he could not control. Only his tremor was more resourceful; that flick of his finger reached much further than mine ever could.
"So who all am I taking a sneak peak at?" Randal asked, "Because if you ask me, I think the gym has been hoarding some extra balls." He smiled at Hayden, waited for his joke to work, then sighed and said, "Fine fine, just kidding. I'll get into Rodríguezes' and Campbell's computers first. With access to theirs, it will be easier to whittle my way down the line. Anyone else?"
"Mrs. Campbell's?" I asked mildly. Our principal was never in, hence Mr. Rodríguezes being the only visible show of authority at our school, "I honestly forgot about her."
Hayden laughed dryly, "Oh well I assure, she still shows up every now and then and sticks her nose into shit."
I watched him curiously but finally went back to my sandwich.
"Anyone else?" Randal asked again. Hayden looked up at me, seeming to ponder something through. Finally he said. "One more. I'm sure you can access his emails as we already know it's handle address. Governor Nichols M. Robinson."
Randal spit out his food so fast, I barely had time to think. He stood abruptly, shaking as he stared at Hayden. "You're out of your fucking mind. If you think I'm going to break into a Governor's computer... if you think I even can, you're fuckin bat shit crazy."
Hayden stared back at him unaffected. "Firstly," he said tonelessly, "Don't waste my food. Secondly, you are capable and you know it. Yes it will take you a few weeks to make sure you cover your trail, but we both know you're more than capable of getting your hands on those emails. Copy Mrs. Campbells email and handle name, or just get to her system to email from the authentic account. Encrypt it with that favorite virus of yours. Once he's opened it, we'll be able to see any file sharing they have done until now. You've done this before Randal, you just need to catch a bigger fish this time."
"I just barely got out of it!" Randal hissed at Hayden, "And if you think I'm going to screw up the deal they gave me and get caught breaking into those systems, you're dead wrong mate."
"Then you better cover your trail." Hayden said again simply.
"Get out of what?" I broke in suddenly. I ignored the sharp glacial gaze. Randal looked at me dumbstruck, like he forgot I was there, before finally shaking his head. "Nowhere important, just some bad foster homes that didn't work out. I once ended up getting sent to the juvenile delinquent facility for using the computers at a home to download illegal movies and games. I got out on good behavior, was able to get a good foster home, and now I'd like it to stay that way. "
Randal sat down slowly, and I watched Hayden, wondering instantly if his uncle had somehow been involved with this case. But why would his uncle take on a case of a nobody? Hayden had to have known Randal before the court hearing...
Randal suddenly sighed heavily in regards to Hayden's patient gaze. "Why the Gov?" he asked defeated.
"Ten bucks," I murmured as I stood and gathered the plates, "Ol' Governor has approved some of the disappearing fund."
Hayden handed Randal some paper work. "You already know this, these are the old papers we dug up sophomore year. Our soccer team's missing funds didn't match what coach stole from it, there was a lot more "unaccounted for". I thought it was just coach embezzling... but then seeing this pattern made me realize somewhere between the state allotting this money to all the schools, to the schools actually getting the money, there's a hidden leak."
Randal gazed at him in unease. "Yeah I remember. We weren't supposed to have found that though, in case you forgot. Hashimoto definitely took some to settle his gambling debts but it never added up how much was missing from the system. So you and I snuck in to the main office and got to Campbell's computer. I just wanted to help you man, Mr Hashimoto was purposely trying to ruin your life, but then once we showed your uncle he flipped out."
Hayden shrugged, clearly indicating he couldn't give a rats ass what his uncle thought. "Yes he did. And he had to help us otherwise we would have been caught. He helped threaten Mr. Hashimoto, but he did it because we were already in too deep."
"But..." Hayden continued, " I always thought it was odd there was more money missing. And then seeing my Uncle's lawyer instincts saying stay the fuck away from this, I knew it was the school or someone else embezzling that money. And all because we had stumbled upon it by accident when looking into coach's stealing fund." Hayden laughed now.
"Your uncle almost killed me for what I found." Randal sighed, "I didn't think I'd make it past sophomore year because of him."
"Well you did." Hayden said. "And you've agreed to help again. Or are you backing out now?"
I watched Randal quietly. I couldn't help but to get the sense his curiosity and ego, despite his earlier protest at the beginning. Considering Hayden had only patiently stared and waited, it told me everything I needed to know about Randal. He liked cracking into computers... no matter the risk. He was an adrenaline junking in the cyber way. He would have left instantly if this had really been too much for him.
I walked towards the kitchen, plates in hand, and again stared at the oddly placed dirty dishes. Why wash everything else, but leave a used set out?
And then it hit me. I would know after all... how many times had Doctor Augustine showed up unannounced. They were staged. They were left out on purpose to give the appearance two people living in this apartment.
I glanced back at Hayden and Randal and knew instantly. Hayden also had been in foster care. That's how he knew Randal.
Somehow he had finally gotten to stay with his uncle these last few years, but still- Mark Donovan wasn't his legal guardian; Mark couldn't sign the slips for Hayden at school to leave to another city.
Hayden was a ward of the state.
And even though he lived alone, the state would show up here as well and check that two people were living here in what I assumed was per their requirements.
I lowered my dishes and stared at the display of the two plates next to me. I finally realized what this mural meant to him; even if I still didn't know the full reasoning behind . He never truly cared about revealing the students for the disgusting fools that they were; he never gave a second thought of using my journals to humiliate them. This wasn't about those kids. He never cared for any of the people I despised and wanted retribution from; he never cared for my revenge.
This was about the school itself, about the State.
This was his revenge.
.
.
.
A/N:
Hope everyone enjoyed Hayden's secret intentions about the mural.