chris sighed contently as he walked in through their front door.
"home sweet home." he said closing his eyes and smiling happily.
"dude, get out the way of the door. i'm carrying three bags." matt complained pushing past his content brother.
nick followed in quietly behind his brothers, not saying a word. a cloud of grey hung over his head as he started to walk up the stairs.
"nick." chris said gently. nick stopped slowly before turning around to look at his brother. he didn't say anything, he just waited for his brother to keep talking,
"are you sure you're ok?"
"i'm fin-"
"you didn't talk the whole flight back."
"i said, im-"
"or in the uber ride home."
"i'm ok-"
"even right now-"
"IM FINE- oh my god chris. i'm fine." nick said fed up. chris stayed quiet, nick took that as his cue to continue walking up the stairs until he was out of sight.
he walked to his room, all these emotions swirling inside of him, he didn't know which one he felt the most. all of them felt so intense and real.
he felt angry.
angry that it had to be this way. angry that he couldn't see max, atleast not in the flesh. angry that they were even split up as kids. they should've gotten together much soon and easier, they should've been happy a long time ago.
he felt confused.
he'd never felt like this for a person. sure he'd liked, maybe even loved, someone before. but he'd never had to do it this way. meet them, fall in love, and then have no choice but to fly across the country, away from them.
he felt sad.
sad that he had to leave max. he had to leave him behind. from what max had told him, his life in LA wasn't a fun one. it was rather boring. he didn't have many friends, not cause he isn't likeable, but because everyone there sucks. he lives away from his aunty and uncle who are his only support, he quite literally has no one. and that makes nick feel like shit. he wants to be there for max. he wants max to feel loved, all the time. he wants max to know that he isn't alone and that he has friends who love and care for him. he wants to be there for max.
he started to unpack his belongings, something he found quite therapeutic after a long trip. usually he'd be peppy and full of spirit since he's back home. he also wasn't playing music while he unpacked, which was definitely very different. it's like all the life had been sucked out of him.
he knew this wasn't healthy, he knew he couldn't go on like this forever. he'd get used to it eventually. wouldn't he? he'd get used to not seeing maxs smile everyday. he'd get used to not being able to hug max tightly when he was scared, sad, or just really wanted a hug. he'd get used to not be able to kiss his lips softly when they greet each other.
he'd have to get used to it. he had no other choice.
what was he thinking? theyd see each other again. he's acting like they broke up, like max doesn't love him anymore.
what if max falls out of love with him? what if while they're separated, max meets someone who's better than nick. more attractive, kinder, funnier, friendlier. the distance between them would surely mean max could get away with so much more. he could sleep with people in secret. max and nick hadn't had sex yet, and it was the last thing on nicks mind when it came to their relationship. but what if max got impatient, and just couldn't wait any longer?
he wouldn't betray nick like that? no, surely he wouldn't. he loves him too much.
"nick."
nick was brought from his intense thoughts when he heard the knock on his door.
"yeah?" he called back sheepishly.
"what do you want for lunch?" it was matt.
"i don't mind. i'm not super hungry." nick replied. he stared at the door, hoping matt wouldn't come in.
"can i come in?"
nick thought about the question for a moment. he didn't know why, he already knew his answer.
"umm, no thanks." nick replied questionable.
"are you sure? you know me and chris are here if you need." matt said supportively.
"i know, but i'm all good. thank you though." nick felt bad shutting his brothers out, but he couldn't handle it right now.
"ok, lemme know if you need anything." and with that, he heard matt walk away.
nick let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. he looked down at his half unpacked bag and pushed it aside. he pulled out his phone, going to maxs contact and hitting the face time button.
it rung twice before it disappeared off his screen. nick looked at the screen for a second confused as to why it ended the call. he shrugged it off and tried calling him again. but it happened it again.
was max purposefully declining his calls?
he didn't think max would do that so he texted max to make sure everything was ok.
nick :)
hey-
it tried calling you and it declined?? just checking everything's ok :)
max <3
oh hey!
yeah i can't talk right now
nick :)
oh ok, that's alright
what you doing?
max <3
sorry i really can't talk right now
i'll talk to you later tho?
nick :)
oh-
yeah that's ok
max <3
thank you
love you <3
nick :)
love you too <3
nick locked his phone and let out a frustrated sigh, letting his phone drop slowly out of his hand onto his bed.
although he had nothing to worry about, he couldn't help but worry. was max lying to him? surely he couldn't be that busy that he couldn't call. he couldn't even text.
nick pulled the covers up over him
and closed his eyes. he just needed to take a nap and forget about everything for a while.
time skip ;)
he woke up feeling groggy and gross. he'd slept for atleast 2 and a half hours. the amount of time where it's not enough to be a proper sleep but too much to be a nap. and you're left feeling like literal shit.
he sat up rubbing his eyes with a tired groan. he grabbed his phone which was sat on his bedside table. he checked for any notifications. a couple from insta, a couple from youtube and tiktok.
but none were from max.
why hadn't max texted him? was he THAT busy that he couldn't make time for nick? whatever he was doing, he obviously cared about it more than he cared about nick.
before he could over think, he got up and started to walk out of his room.
he went down the stairs and walked past his brothers who were in the kitchen.
"nick. where are you going?" matt asked standing up to make sure he was ok, chris following closely behind.
"i'm fine. i'm just going out." nick said, not bothering to turn around. he heard his brothers call out for him behind him but he ignored them.
he just needed to get outside. from the time it took for him to get to his room to the front door, his heart rate had risen significantly and he felt himself starting to panic. he just needed fresh air.
as the door got closer and closer to his grasp, he felt his airways tighten. he just needed to keep moving.
when he finally got a hand to the door handle, he took a deep breath in as the fresh night air hit his face.
but the thing he saw literally took all the air out of his lungs.
hey guysssssss
hope that y'all enjoyed this chapter
im pretty sure you guys can guess what he saw- but i'll let y'all guess.
please vote and comment if you can, it means the world <3333
thank you all SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT🫶🫶🫶