The kiss.
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|h/n|
It all comes to end doesn't it h/n? Wish I could tell you how I felt. But honestly I don't know how I feel it feels like life's ending and no one's coming to help you.
Everyone just wants to help themselves, people couldn't give two shits if you needed help. This generation needs a good slap in the head. I could never explain the love I had for y/n, because I've denied it. How did that end up? I can't say anything anymore.
I see her in the hallways or sometimes I see her in town, then suddenly the world around goes quiet and she's all that matters. She knows that I need her, she helps me. She helps me calm down, it means a lot for that she helps me.
I'm planning to ask her to be my valentines.
I don't think she'll say yes, but I guess we will have to find out
//Tuesday 14th of Feburary//
I sat in class while thinking about what I was going to make y/n for valentines day. I wanted to make it at school so I could give it to her personally, and see her reaction. I feel really bad for what she's going through. How did I find out what she's going through? well my stupid cousin which is in fact a bastard and a moron decided to tell everyone what's been going on with y/n and what she's going through. And to me that's fucked you're her ex for fucks sake, look at the way you're treating her.
"H/n, since we are way ahead in our teachers schedule she said we could do whatever we want in this lesson." Zack says.
"good." I replied while getting up from my seat to grab a piece of paper and some markers. I sat back down in my seat and folded the paper to make a card.
I hope she likes it. This is how our story will begin, and I'll tell this to our kids that's if we have kids or even get together.
"Break!!" The teacher calls out.
I rush outside with the card in my hand, trying to find y/n. I couldn't find her however I started asking all the teachers if they've seen her. Luckily her teacher told me she was in a small group room with Lexi and Sarah. What did I do you ask? well I explained to her teacher that I was going to give her a valentines day card and she told me I could go open the door to give her the card.
So I did. When I opened the door my eyes landed on y/n.
"hey uhm y/n, I have a uhm. something for you" I handed her the card.
Fuck! Why did I have to be so weird.
" oh h/n, I love it thank you" she smiled.
Are faces were inches apart from each others. I felt her soft brown eyes looking through mine. I pulled her in for a hug. God I missed this. I missed us. She looked at me before placing her lips on my cheek.
" of course I'll be you're valentine h/n" she said.
"okay good I'm taking you out for dinner and then movies" I smiled.
I felt warm, her lips felt soft against my skin. she makes me want to forget that other people exist.
"So you're asking me out?"
"yeah I guess" I chuckle at her question.
"I'll come to you're house at 5pm" I added.
she nodded and hugged me once more before I left. But I couldn't help but think that it would be better if I did it in front of everyone. Sooo I asked my teacher to do me a favor, and got all of my best mates to help me.
Everyone was now in the school courtyard, I had a plan I tell you. Now some of the 9th graders were holding papers that had a few of our favorite memories written on them. The rest were recording, can't forget my best mates they were holding papers that said will you be my valetine y/n ?
I waited.
There she comes, I could swear I saw her eyes light up. Her cheeks flushed a pinkish glow. She's adorable I thought to myself.
"H/n what is all this?" She asked.
"I didn't feel right giving you just a card." I pulled her in close by the waist and cupped her face with my hands. A sudden burst of excitement rushed through my body. I leaned in and kissed her.
I kissed y/n. In front of everyone including her ex's. I felt better now that I knew everyone knew what I felt about her, my y/n.
<———>
The next few days were quite rough I was going through things with my parents. I didn't get a good result on my exam. I couldn't care less. I tried. In other words the only thing I could think about is when I kissed y/n in front of everyone.
I smile at the thought of kissing her. Can't we all go home?
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|Tom|
•<———>•
(Mentions of suicide, attempt)
I've made efforts, at least. There are moments I yearn to turn back time, to alter everything. Sometimes, I wish for the gift of shared perspective, maybe then things would've unfolded differently.
Home. What does it mean? That sanctuary where you escape from reality's grasp. For me, that concept has been absent for a while now. It's hard to believe, isn't it? A few years ago, I tried to take my own life, but it didn't succeed. Now, strangely enough, I'm here contemplating whether the failure of that attempt was a negative outcome..
As I said I never really had a home to call mine, or my own. We had this assignment in school where we had to describe what a home is. And what it means or could mean to others. Well here's what I wrote.
"A home, you ask? It's where comfort and freedom intertwine, a safe haven where you can truly be yourself. Personally, I've never experienced that. When the word "home" surfaces, a flood of questions about my parents and countless thoughts rush in. It's that place of solace where judgment holds no power.
In this vast world, you search for the perfect haven that resonates with you—a house, a movie, an object. But a home can also manifest as a person. Someone you trust, feel safe with, rely on. No house or human is flawless, yet I've found my home. What do I mean by that?I've found someone I deeply love and admire, someone I trust implicitly, someone who creates that haven where I feel safe and comfortable. A home is pivotal in one's life; those who have a place they call home should never lose it. For me, my home lies within this person I love dearly. I only hope they know how much they mean to me.
A person or a home where one can go or talk to just to escape reality. I started watching criminal minds and In one of the episodes. SSA Agent Gideon who has a cabin far up in the woods, no one knows where the cabin was until that one episode where he gets that taken away from him. The only place where he could escape from being an agent and working cases. No one ever wants to have their home taken away from them." I say.
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|y/n|
my friend watched criminal minds a lot, I never understood why she did. I started watching it soon after she told me about it. I've never been more interested in a series all my life. It means so much to me now, it's like my family. All the characters have a different meaning to me.
SSA Agent Gideon: How I love Gideon, the poor guy who's home was taken away from him. I relate to him dearly because in other words I also got my home taken away from me.
Doctor Spencer Reid: The poor boy has been abused and it's pretty much understandable that he's traumatized. Can't forget he lost his mentor. His mum suffers a lot and can't even remember him. I find myself crying every time I see Reid in a scene, I also relate to him because I was abused as well.
Agent Emily Prentiss: She's had a troubled past as well as being afraid to open up about what she's been through. Had to lie to protect the others in her team. I relate to her because I also had a troubled past and always thought people would judge me for speaking up about it.
Agent Jennifer Jaraeu (JJ): Traumatized for seeing her sisters own body in the bathtub with blood all over. Falls in love with a guy but is secretly in love with Spencer Reid. I can't say I relate that much to JJ, but the fact she married a man and has feelings for Reid makes me realize things about me and h/n. If I were in a relationship I would still love h/n more than the person I'm in a relationship with.
Agent Aaron Hotchner: Is a single father after his wife was brutally murdered in a case he worked on. he would give the world to his team. I relate to him because being on you're own is hard when you're personal life gets involved in whatever's you're doing/argument then you realize a lot of things.
SSA Agent David Rossi: Godfather of the bau ( behavioral analysis unit) of the fbi. After 3 marriages and 1 daughter, he really does try his very best when it comes to his daughter. He wants to be there for her and he's also quite protective of her. I relate to him because he always wants to try his best, and so do I.
Agent Derek Morgan: You're Prince Charming. Derek Morgan was sa'd by one who he thought he could trust. I relate to him because I was also sa'd by someone I thought I could trust.