"Hey, Brittany, we need to talk," Rachel said as she walked up to the blonde, who was walking with Naomi in the outside hallway. "Why are my leg warmers on your arms?"
"I got cold, and Naomi's sweater was too small, so these were the only things that fit," Brittany shrugged.
"But we had a deal," Rachel sighed. "As I explained, I am in the midst of a career resurgence, okay? I'm done with girls, I'm done with boys, and I am concentrating fully on my career now."
"What career?" Naomi asked as she ate a gummy bear from a snack bag Brittany had given her.
"My comeback," Rachel said as if it was the most obvious thing. "The only way to make a complete comeback is to dominate popular discussion. Maybe launch a trend or two. I gave you half of my allowance so you could take a signature look of mine and make it popular."
"We said leg warmers were more likely to catch on than reindeer sweaters," said Brittany
"Yes, but it won't work if you insist on wearing them incorrectly!"
"Why are you being mean to Britt?" Naomi pouted.
"I didn't realize there were rules," Brittany frowned.
"Of course there are rules!" Rachel groaned. "They're leg warmers."
"Well, can I wear them that way tomorrow?" Brittany asked. "I wore a tank top today because I thought it was summer. No one ever taught me how to read a calendar."
"Fine," Rachel sighed. "Fine. And when people ask you who gave you the inspiration for your new accessory, you're gonna say, 'I'm just copying...'"
"I'm just copying Rachel Berry."
"Fantastic," the diva beamed.
****
Naomi's jaw dropped as Mr. Schue gave them the news that Sue Sylvester would be joining them for the week.
"This cannot be happening," Tina was the first to speak up, saying exactly what everyone else was thinking.
"This seems like a terrible idea," Artie frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.
"That's kinda your catchphrase, isn't it?" Naomi asked the brunette boy.
"Only when Mr. Schue's being an idiot," Santana mumbled.
"Guys, it's not up for discussion," said Mr. Schue. "Now, it's no secret that Coach Sylvester has taken her licks."
"I mean, just wanky," Santana said as Sue shot her a look.
"What does wanky mean?" Naomi asked.
"It's just a word," the older Latina shrugged. "It's kinda my catchphrase."
"But what does it mean?"
Santana sighed and pulled a lollipop out of her bag. "Open," she said, sticking the candy in Naomi's mouth as she opened it. "Suck on that and shush."
"I believe she could use a little sympathy from us," said Mr. Schue.
"Sympathy? From us?" Mercedes scoffed. "Uh-uh."
"Yeah, all she's ever done is make our lives miserable," said Quinn.
"She got exactly what she deserved," Santana agreed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You're lucky I left my blowgun's at home, air bags, because I got a clear shot at your nonnies," Sue said as Naomi furrowed her brows confusedly.
"San, what's a nonnie?" she asked as she turned to the girl next to her, who rolled her eyes and gave her another lollipop.
"No more questions, sweet little," Santana said, patting Naomi on the back. "Auntie Tana isn't getting paid enough money babysitting you to answer them."
"Babysit?" the younger Latina frowned as she unwrapped the second lollipop and put it in her mouth.
"Coach Sylvester has had her recent setbacks, but she is a proven champion," Mr. Schue continued. "We could do worse than to have that kind of winning record in our midst."
"Let me break it down for you," said Sue. "I am no longer a threat to you people. I'm just hoping your singing and dancing around will pull me out of my doldrums and give me a reason to live. Is that too much to ask?"
"Guys, it's settled," Mr. Schue sternly said. "Sue's gonna be with us for the week. Now, I received an envelope in the mail today. We know that we're facing Kurt and the Warblers at regionals."
"Sweet Porcelain," Sue mumbled.
"And it looks like this year we face Aural Intensity again."
"Is that a sex thing?" Naomi frowned.
"Alright, who taught the kid about S-E-X?" Santana demanded, looking around the teenagers in the room. "Who was it, huh? I want answers."
"I mean, I might have mentioned something," Puck shrugged as Santana clenched her jaw and glared at him.
"Seems like the governing board has assigned a theme to this year's regionals, and part of our score will be based upon how well we interpret it," Mr. Schue continued, trying to get back on track. "This year's theme... anthem. Who can tell us what that is?"
"It's the bottom of an ants pants," Brittany shrugged.
"So close. So close," said Mr. Schue. "No. An anthem is an epic song filled with a groundswell of emotion that somehow seems bigger than itself, even bigger than the person performing it."
"Mr. Schue?" Sam raised his hand.
"Oh, hey, Sam. I didn't even notice your new haircut."
"I've been working on a new image with my new one-man band," Sam said as he went up to the front of the choir room. "The Justin Bieber Experience."
"You've got to be kidding me," Quinn mumbled.
"Dude, that haircut makes your mouth look even bigger," Puck said as Naomi nodded in agreement.
"Let her speak," Sue silenced the boy.
"Laugh all you want, but that kid's an epic tallent," said Sam. "There's a number I've been working on that I've been wanting to show off. I think it qualifies as an anthem, because it's just hugely emotional and sums up our generation."
****
All the boys were dressing like Justin Bieber, and Naomi didn't understand why all the girls were drooling over it. She watched with her arms crossed as they performed Somebody to Love and all the girls fan-girled over it. She exchanged a look with Finn beside her and raised a brow. The older boy just shrugged.
"I'd seriously rather be learning right now," she grumbled, sinking down lower in her chair. "Justin Bieber sucks."
The number finally ended, and she clapped for the boys on stage before grabbing her bag and leaving the auditorium with Finn.
****
Autumn couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face as she watched the video Brittany had sent of Rachel and Mercedes singing "Take Me or Leave Me" from the musical Rent. At first, it looked like a diva-off, but towards the end it was more like they were singing together as a unit.
She missed her friends back home. She missed her brothers and her sister. She missed Rachel a little more than she should.
She took another bite of her dinner as she watched the video for a second time.
"You know you're torturing yourself by watching that, right?" Josephine said as she sat down next to Autumn, who shrugged and took a sip of water. "You're doing good. I overheard Nurse Wilson talking to the head doctor and she said it looks like you might be able to go home soon if you keep it up."
"That's the plan," Autumn nodded as she took a bite of her lasagne.
"You're not gonna get better just to get worse again when you eventually do leave, right?" Josephine asked with concern in her voice. She knew what it was like with some rexy kids. As soon as they were allowed to go back home, they fell back into old habits.
"That's what happened last time," Autumn mumbled, taking a sip of water. "I reached my goal weight, they sent me home, and then when school started I stopped eating again. It's the only way I know how to cope when things get rough."
"Food is all I think about," Josephine sighed. "It's a game we play. If we do good with life shit, we get to eat. If we do something wrong, we don't. It's how we cope because we don't know how to do it any other way."
"Real," Autumn mumbled as she ate the last bite of her dinner.
"I'm proud of you, Auts," the older girl smiled, rubbing her friend on the back. "I know how hard it is."
"It's a lot harder than it needs to be, that's for sure," Autumn nodded. "Do you think I'll ever be the way I was before I got sick?"
"Eventually. It's not something that'll immediately go away. You'll have good days, and you'll have bad days. But, eventually, I'm sure we'll both be back to normal."
"Thanks, Josie," the younger girl smiled.
"Any time," Josephine said as she pulled her into a hug.
****
Naomi wanted to gag when she walked into the choir room and saw Santana with her legs draped over Sam's lap, her hands playing with his obviously dyed blonde hair.
Who is she trying to fool?
"When the hell did that happen?" Naomi asked as she sat down next to Tina, who shrugged.
"Alright," Mr. Schue said, getting everyone's attention. "I hate to say it, but I think we all owe Sue a big thank you. She may hate us, but she gave us a kick-butt song for regionals."
"Mr. Schuester," Rachel spoke up, raising her hand. "I think that our admiration for Coach Sylvester might just be a little premature. While I love My Chemical Romance, and I think we kicked butt on that number, as our team leader and arbiter of all that is good, I don't think that song is good enough for regionals. The Warblers have Kurt and Blaine as their one-two punch, and Aural Intensity kicked our butt last year. We don't have Autumn's beautiful soprano voice, so we're not as powerful as we were before. We can't just do any song to beat either of those teams."
"You mean a number where you don't get to sing the entire song," Mercedes sassed.
"Let her talk," said Naomi. "Rachel, what do you think we should do?"
The diva smiled at the younger girl, grateful that she seemed to have her back. "We need to be bold and epic. We need to write our own original music. We need an indisputable advantage."
"Check out dwarf Diane Warren," Santana grumbled.
"Look, we can't lose regionals again this year, you guys," Rachel sighed. "You have to trust me. I feel really, really strongly about this."
"Let's put it to a vote," said Mr. Schue. "All those in favor of doing an original song."
Naomi raised her hand, and Rachel smiled at her as she did the same.
"Chemical Romance?"
The rest of the club raised their hands, and Mr. Schue shrugged as the bell rang loudly overhead.
"You tried," Naomi said, giving Rachel a sympathetic smile as she stood up to leave. "Keep up that attitude. Maybe you'll make a comeback."
Rachel smiled to herself as Naomi walked out of the choir room. If that kid believes in her, then maybe the idea wasn't as dumb as she thought.