TW depression, suicide attempt, dark thoughts
"Kids, I'm going to the hospital to see your sister. Mark, Derek, keep an eye on your sister please." Christopher said.
"Sure Dad. We'll watch Amy." Derek said.
"I want to go with you Daddy!" Amelia whined. "I want to see Mer!"
Christopher sighed. "I know you want to see her sweetie but now isn't the best time." Truthfully he didn't want them to see their sister in this state. Meredith was constantly crying the night before because of all of the pain she was in. Her body was in so much pain because of her normal pain issues plus the impact that the overdose had had on her kidneys and liver. And because of the overdose, Meredith was not allowed any pain medications.
"It's not fair Daddy! I want to see my Mermer!" Amelia pouted.
"Amy, Dad's right. She's in a lot of pain, both physically and emotionally right now." Mark said softly to his little sister.
"Fine." Amelia sighed.
"I love you kids. I'll check in with you later." Christopher said and left the house and drove to the hospital.
———-
Carolyn rubbed her exhausted eyes and looked over at her silent daughter. "You okay sweetie? Are you hungry?"
"I'm fine." Meredith whispered and looked away.
I'm such a burden. I don't know why I'm here. I'm taking up this bed for someone who actually needs it. I don't deserve it.
"Mer, sweetie. Talk to me. I know you're hurting." Carolyn said softly, trying to get her daughter to talk. Meredith had been silent ever since she woke up.
"I'm fine." Meredith looked down at her fingers.
Just then Christopher walked into the room. He gave a sad smile to his wife. "Good morning." He gave a kiss to both Carolyn and Meredith. He didn't get a response back from Meredith.
Christopher glanced over at his wife, asking silently if Meredith was okay. Carolyn just shook her head in response.
"Mer, sweetie. I'm going to go talk to your daddy out in the hall. Yell if you need anything." Carolyn pressed a kiss to Meredith's forehead.
Meredith just closed her eyes in response.
Carolyn sighed at the lack of response.
Carolyn and Christopher walk out into the hallway and Carolyn slumps down against the wall.
"Christopher..." Carolyn whispers.
"I'm here." He gives her a hug. "She's so quiet. Has she said anything?"
"No. Nothing. The only thing she's said is that she's fine and we both know that's not true. She's shutting everyone out." Carolyn says, tears starting to stream down her cheeks. "She's not okay Christopher! Our baby girl isn't okay."
"Has Arizona been in to see her yet?" Christopher asked.
"Yeah, she saw her during rounds. She tried to get Meredith to talk but Meredith just stayed quiet and refused to say a word. Arizona did say that there is a 72 hour psych hold for suicide attempts so she'll be brought up their at some point today."
"Yeah, she mentioned that last night also." Christopher said. "Did she sleep last night?"
"Yeah, she slept the entire night. She woke up a few times in pain but I got her back to sleep."
"Did you sleep at all?" Christopher asked.
Carolyn shook her head. "No, I was too worried about her to sleep. I watched her the entire night."
"You should try to get some sleep. You look exhausted."
"I need to stay with Meredith." She whispers.
"I'm here. I'll stay with her. You go get some sleep and then come back. Please? For me?" Christopher asked.
"Okay." Carolyn says with a sigh. "Let me go tell her really quick though."
Carolyn walks back into Meredith's hospital room and sees Meredith staring out the window.
"Hey baby girl. I'm going to get a little bit of sleep. I won't be gone too long. Your dad is going to stay with you so you won't be alone. We love you soooo much sweetie." Carolyn says to Meredith.
Meredith is silent and then whispers, "I wish I was never born at all."
"Oh Meredith, we love you so much." Carolyn says with tears running down her face.
"No one wants me. I'm a burden." Meredith mutters.
Carolyn looks over at Christopher and sees that he has tears running down his face also.
"That is not true! You are not a burden! We want you! We will always want you!" Carolyn says, holding both of Meredith's hands.
"We love you very much and we always will. Your siblings love having you in their lives. They made you some cards." Christopher gives them to Meredith and she takes them silently.
Meredith rolls over onto her other side so that no one can see her face. She then opens the cards.
Christopher nods at Carolyn that he'll take care of Meredith.
Carolyn swipes away at the tears that are quickly falling down her face. She takes one last glance at her daughter and leaves the room.
Carolyn decides to make a little detour before she goes to an on-call room to nap.
Carolyn goes up to the surgical floor and looks for Ellis Grey, finding her at the nurses station.
"Ellis." Carolyn says.
Ellis continues to chart without looking up. "Yes?"
"Do you have any idea what you've done to my daughter? Even after abandoning her, you've still continued to harm her. If you happen to care at all, she's currently suffering in the ICU. Your words were her last straw.Because of you, you made her try to kill herself." Carolyn tells Ellis angrily.
Ellis freezes and stops charting. "Excuse me? Did you just say that she attempted suicide?"
"Yes, because of you. My daughter now thinks she's a burden because of your words. Thank you for that." Carolyn narrows her eyes at Ellis. "You will never see Meredith again!!! If you even say one word to her, I will press charges on you."
"I-I-I" Ellis panics, shakily grabbing her charts as she quickly leaves.
After that Carolyn quickly goes to an on-call room and collapses onto the bed and sobs quietly to herself, eventually falling asleep.
———-
A few hours later, Meredith wakes up from another nap. She sees her dad reading a medical journal. She had read the cards that her siblings had written to her and then silently cried herself to sleep.
Meredith sighs to herself and her dad looks up at the sound.
"Hey sweetie. How are you doing?" Christopher asks.
"I'm fine." Meredith mutters.
Just then Dr Robbins comes into the room and is pushing a wheelchair. "Hello Meredith!" She says all cheerfully. "It's time to go up to psych now sweetie."
Meredith's eyes widen. "No!" She yells.
Arizona comes over and kneels down next to Meredith. "You're going to be fine sweetie. It's just 72 hours and then we'll see how you're doing and go from there."
"You'll be just fine sweetie. I promise." Christopher says, getting up and walking over to her. He gives her a kiss on the forehead.
"No! I don't want to!" She sobs. "I'm fine!"
"You're not fine, sweetie." Christopher says softly.
"I am! I'm fine!" Meredith sobs. "I want mommy! I need her! Please! I want my mommy!" She says, wailing hysterically. "I want my mom!"
"Shhh, you're okay. I'll go call her. She'll be right here baby." Christopher says quickly. He gets his phone and quickly calls Carolyn and tells her to come to Meredith's room now.
"I want my mommy!" Meredith wails. Carolyn hears her through the phone and it instantly breaks her heart.
Carolyn runs from the on-call room to Meredith's room. "I'm here baby girl, I'm here. Shhhhh, you're okay."
"Mommy!" Meredith sobs, grabbing onto her mom.
Carolyn gets into the bed with Meredith and pulls her into her arms. "Mommy's here. Shh. You're okay. I've got you."
"Don't leave me!" Meredith sobs, burying her head into Carolyn's chest. Carolyn gently rubs Meredith's back, whispering soothing words to her daughter. Carolyn looks over at her husband and they make eye contact, and both can see how badly Meredith is scared to be away from them. More issues are coming to the surface from Ellis abandoning Meredith. Meredith's abandonment issues are being shown now.
"Dr Robbins, can you give her a little bit more time before you bring her up?" Christopher asks and Arizona nods and leaves the room after saying she'll be back in a little while.
"I love you so much Meredith. You are going to be just fine. We love you so much." Carolyn whispers.
———-
Carolyn and Christopher comfort Meredith for the next hour, telling her that everything will be okay. She just needs to get through the next 72 hours and then she'll be able to go home.
"Would you like to go for a short walk before Dr Robbins comes back?" Christopher asks.
"Okay." Meredith says softly.
"I'm going to go grab a wheelchair. I'll be right back." He leaves the room and goes up to the nurses station.
"Hi Dr Shepherd, what can I do for you?" A nurse asks.
"My wife and I wanted to take our daughter for a walk. Can I grab a wheelchair?"
"Do not let her run away from you. She's due to be in the psych ward for a 72 hour hold due to a suicide attempt."
Christopher narrows his eyes at the nurse. "You think I don't know that?? I've been worried sick about her ever since that happened! And have you seen her, she's not going to run away!"
"Sorry Dr Shepherd. Here's a wheelchair."
He takes the wheelchair and goes back to Meredith's room. He helps Meredith into it and the three of them start their short walk.
"Meredith, sweetie, will you promise to work with the doctors? We need you to be happy again sweetie. You scared us by trying to kill yourself. Please promise us you'll never do that again." Carolyn says to her daughter.
"I will." Meredith whispers. "I'm sorry for scaring you. I'll work with the doctors. I promise."
We hope you enjoyed!!! Thanks to my co-writer _Ktje_