bill burst out into laughter, clenching his stomach "ohoohohoho! this is just too perfect! everybody who caused us such a hassle altogether in easily trappable room!" bill exclaimed, snapping his fingers and all the exits got covered up by bricks. "And I know just where to start!" bill exclaims, sending out two red arms and trapping ford and stan in a lovely arm rope.
well, I wasn't expecting that piece of dialogue for sure, but since the zodiac doesn't work anymore it makes sense that some other bit of dialogue would take the place. Also, considering that ford and stan didn't argue because of my monologue that also makes sense.
"Hey! you give them back!" Fiddleford exclaimed.
"Yeah! we're not scared of you!" Wendy states before both of them pull out weapons.
"You should be!" bill exclaims, his pupil growing smaller as he snapped his fingers and turned the group into lovely tapestries of fear. "Yanno, this castle could really use some d e c o r a t i o n !" everybody gasped at the sight. "Guess it's too late for your friends Stanford!" bill exclaimed, trapping the children. "But you can still save your family! last chance, tell me how to take weirdmageddon global and I'll spare the kids!"
"No don't do it!" dipper cried trying to escape from the prison.
"Yeah, bill makes bad deals!" Mabel exclaims, causing me to burst into laughter from the comment despite hearing it seven times before. the group pauses to look at me.
"Sorry- I just- Bwahhhaah" I state, gasping. "That one always gets me. carry on." I wave in their direction.
"don't you toy with me shooting star, I see E V E R Y T H I N G-" bill starts, being cut off by spray-paint to the eye causing me to laugh again at my co-worker's misery. "OW! not again! why? every time!"
"Nice job pumpkin!" Stanley exclaims, right before falling to the ground.
"I know that hurts! because I've accidently done it to myself! multiple times!" Mabel proclaims proudly, dipper then fishes around in his shirt pocket only to discover that I was holding the growth-shrink flashlight.
"w-what! how?" dipper asks frantically looking around before laying his eyes on my teasing hand. (While Bill continued to groan and complain about his eye)
"yanno, it's kind of hard to out-think somebody who sees everything, but it's even harder to out-think somebody who knows the future of you out-thinking somebody who sees everything." I explained. "That sounded a bit confusing." I deadpanned before getting up closer to the cage. "yanno, unlike bill, I make... okay deals. or I think so at least. I can put you under my protection and send you guys to live on the other side of the world or something, or you could stay here, and I can have a bill-proof home re-built for you guys, hell! I could convince bill to make the major weirdness leave gravity falls so you guys would only deal with the normal stuff that happened this summer then everything else will be everywhere else in the world!" I proposed.
"No way! I'm not making a deal with somebody who works under bill!" dipper denied.
"What about if I became somebody more familiar to you?" I asked, tapping my chin.
"What do you mean...?" Mabel said.
"I didn't exactly want to do this... but eh, it's for the chaotic triangle." I stated, putting my hand to my face, considering if I really wanted to do this as it was my only form of protection right now. surely but slowly, I took it off. and moved it aside for the twins to see.
"y-you! you betrayed us!" dipper shouted.
"We trusted you!" Mabel cried.
"Yes, I'm aware of this." I deadpanned "but I'm trying to help you guys! bill is going to wreck you guys if you stay!" I begged, trying to convince them.
"No way!" the twins shouted.
I froze.
it was like my entire personality changed like somebody flipped a switch.
"Huh." I pondered still frozen in my own spot, completely stiff. "Yeah, about that, you don't really have a choice. now do you want to go to Brazil or Austraila? maybe Ohio?" I asked turning to the two slowly before deciding myself. "Screw it, you're going to California, you're from there anyway. don't worry, teleportation doesn't hurt, it just might make you a little sick. hope you memorized your address!" I state lifting up my fingers to teleport them.
"Wait what are you doing?" dipper states, voice laced with worry.
"I'm sending you away where you won't cause trouble." I briefly exclaimed. "You done complaining now?"
"How are we going to explain this to our parents!?" Mabel asks looking at dipper.
"You don't have to if you make a deal with me~" I state from behind Mabel. she turns around, conflicted.
"Mabel don't do it! she works with bill! she tricked you! multiple times!" dipper cries, basically re-enacting the scene from "not what he seems".
"Your choice kid, I'm going to make you leave either way." I state, looking at my nails.
"I- you made me trust you. then you broke it. but something inside of me wants to think you actually care." Mabel says, choking on tears before holding out her hand slowly. "I agree to your terms as long as ford and stan come with us." I shook her hand.
"That was really dumb of you, but glad to know you think I still have morals. because I do. I think. really should have bargained for your friends though." I stated finished, then letting go of her hand which caused her to teleport out of the pyramid to my cabin along with all of the other pine family members.
eh, they'll be fine.
I spend time bill-proofing that place so my house wouldn't get fucked up by the weirdness waves anyway. not like Ima need that place again.
bill soon stopped groaning in pain and looked over to me to notice how everybody was gone, first he grew irritated but then calmed down after realizing that I might have had a good reason for that.
"What was the purpose of making them leave?" bill asks turning to me, still trying to hide his mild irritation.
"I can't be sure that they won't get clever and come up with something new other than what they did last time, so I want to make sure that we have, hmm about 70 years until we have to worry about the zodiac again." I state. "Unless they just don't die due to weird time stuff, then we just straight up don't have to worry about the zodiac, but we might have to worry about the fact they might still plan something."
"And how did I die last time?" bill asked, kind of confused if the zodiac was never going to work in the first place.
"Stan erased his mind while you were in it."
"So thaaaat's why you asked about that when we were in the society of the blind eye's base." bill stated, suddenly understanding.
"mhm" I nodded, looking out the stained-glass window. "Bill do you still have my pendant?" I ask looking toward him, he opens up his brick like a drawer and holds it out to me.
"This? are you sure you're ready?" he asks raising his eye, making sure.
"Uh, not fully. but I'm not going to throw it into the ocean if that is what you're wondering." I explained. "I'm not sure how that thing works but since It looks like the rift, I'm assuming I have to break it."
"Alright I trust you," bill sighed, giving it to me. "But we shouldn't use it yet, you should get some rest from all of the recent events, I mean have you even gotten a rest since you came here?" bill asked, concerned.
"I mean, I've slept to communicate with you..." I trail off, looking at a very interesting spot on the wall.
"Nope, that won't do." bill states, levitating me with a snap and floating us to the tip of the fear-a-mid. "humans need the non-rem part of their sleep cycle to gain energy and repair their body. not to mention, we can only communicate during rem so from that comment alone I'm surprised that your eyebags aren't as big as I would think they would be. I might like recking human bodies, but I know also how to take care of one. mostly. excluding the event with Isaac newton, also that man wasn't cool at all, a jerk mostly." bill states, going off on a tangent.
"But isn't the non-rem part of my sleep before rem?" I ask looking up at him.
"yes, but considering our planning sessions took up the majority of your sleep cycle the other phases were rushed to lengthen the time we had, it's a miracle you haven't fainted on the job." bill concludes before dropping my off inside my room. "Now get some sleep kid, you deserve it. we don't need to rush any plans right now; everything is in our favor." bill puts me down onto the floor and rustles my hair with his hand.
"Good night." I say, wandering off to bed and rolling over in my bedding.
"Sleep tight! and don't let the bed bugs bite, but if they do~ kill them all so their species will pay for their crimes!" bill finishes, leaving the room.
"Alright." I mumble into my pillow in complete deadpan, used to him saying things like that. before procceding to drift off to sleep.
a/n:
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