Saturday was filled with jittery behavior and—you guessed it—piles of homework. I found myself drifting in and out of rooms, trying to get comfortable. To focus. To get anything done besides driving myself insane with ideas about the date Kevin would supposedly be taking me on.
Lara had offered for me to run errands with her during lunch, but I was in the middle of an essay by then. In an effort to avoid losing my spark of creativity, I stayed in. Now, as I sat on the living room floor trudging through trigonometry, I wondered if it was the wrong call.
After a few, long, hard stares at the notebook, I let out a sigh of defeat. Just as I prepared to give in and stop, the sound of the door opening caught my attention. I watched as Lara entered, hands filled to the brim with groceries. I stifled a giggle,
"Are you really a one-trip kind of gal? The car's parked just outside." Lara laughed, but seemed exasperated. I got up to my feet, stepping over and freeing one of her hands as a look of relief flashed across her face,
"Of course I am! And thank you." She smiled, eyes going over my face, studying it a moment before looking to the notebook and calculator strewn across the living room floor, "How's homework going?"
I trudged my way towards the kitchen, admittedly struggling with the groceries that Aunt Lara had been carrying with only one arm.
They were heavier than they looked.
I sighed out a response through the sounds of rustling plastic as I placed the bags on the counter,
"Good... But bad. I hate math." I bemoaned, and with a resounding sigh at my side, Lara placed her own bags down and agreed,
"I definitely don't miss that part of high school." With a scoff I looked at her, joining her as we began to put food away together. We worked in sync, and I knew it could have all been done in silence, but I'd had enough quiet for today. I asked in disbelief,
"You miss the other parts?" Lara smiled,
"Of course I did! Like making friends, meeting boys..." She teased, and I had to look away to keep from glaring,
"Don't even start." I began, unwilling to have another conversation about the boy next door. Yes, last night was sweet, Kevin made the perfect impression, but I'd spent enough of the day stressing over tonight's date. A date only my aunt had answers about...
"C'monnn, I think it's sweet. After everything you've been through, you found someone you jive with so well." I shook my head,
"First, please don't say jive. And second, he's not my soulmate or anything. Just a good friend. It's not that big a deal." I tried to argue half-heartedly. Lara raised a brow as she passed me the milk,
"Who said anything about soulmates?" I groaned in embarrassment as I turned to the refrigerator and opened it. I heard the sound of laughter, and after a few more beats of silence, my aunt spoke again,
"How about we go grab some coffee? You look exhausted... and your date is in a few hours. We still need to talk about what you're going to wear." Lara's sing-song voice did nothing to steel my nerves, but as I looked up and met her eyes, I already knew I'd say yes.
In Manhattan, Lara and I spend all of our time together at coffee shops. It was where we caught up when she started to drop by every few weeks. Where she'd ask how things were going. It's where I told her about what was really going on at home. Where we planned how to tell my mom about me moving in with her, and before... everything.
"Hello? Earth to Birdy." I blinked up at Lara, not realizing I had been dozing off. I forced a smile,
"Yes. Coffee sounds good. I'm clearly out of it from reading so much." I teased lightly, and her concern etched away. I saw a glimmer of her usual, maternal self, but she chased it away with optimism as she grabbed a box of cereal,
"Okay. Run upstairs, and put on some jeans." I nodded, placing whatever I was going to put away back down on the counter. I did exactly as she said, feet thumping up the stairs as I crossed into my room. I went straight for the closet, grabbing a pair of loose jeans and high top converse. I changed out of my pajama pants quickly.
I glanced in the mirror, knowing my tank top would do, but hoping for some more cover in case it was chilly. I remembered my sweater was in the art room, and barely used. I tip toed over, still holding my shoes in-hand as I caught it resting on a chair by the easel.
Behind the chair was the window, still shut from the day before. My mind envisioned the day before, when I had been in here with Kevin. The way his words tasted like honey as he whispered them behind me. As he admired my art and talked about watching me paint. When he promised to take me on our first date.
Looking out the glass, I saw his bedroom window. He was in his room, but he was walking back and forth. He had folded shirts in his hands, a different pair every time. He clearly wasn't looking at the window, but I continued admiring.
It caught me off guard. I knew Eva would hate to do everything for him, but Kevin never did strike me as the type to do his own laundry. Or fold it and put it away.
Always something new with him.
I stepped towards the window, half-considering whether or not I should get his attention when he beat me to it. As if sensing my presence, he looked up. As our eyes met I felt the edges of my lips curl up. The memory of his lips on mine from the previous night were still fresh, and I found myself grinning.
My heart skipped a beat. He was holding yet another folded shirt, but tossed it to the side where his bed was out of view. He didn't smile, he didn't laugh, but instead moved towards the window. He gave me a glare that sent a chill down my spine and then, using both hands, closed the blinds.
I stood there for a few second, stunned. I expected him to open the shades, shoot me a smile or a smirk, and wave. He didn't. I waited a few minutes, feeling my stomach sink and the words get stuck in my throat. Whatever semblance of a smile I had, it went away.
I'd like to say I rolled my eyes and walked away, not willing to entertain his whims. Kevin was a wild card. Highs and lows. And I couldn't be bothered.
Unfortunately, that wasn't true. It was the sound of Lara's voice downstairs that coaxed me out of my spot. I broke my gaze from the window as I heard her,
"You ready yet?" I swallowed, blinking absentmindedly before stepping away. As I headed towards the stairs I pulled my head through my sweater and climbed down.
"Yeah! Right here." I announced with a smile, moving towards the door and pulling on my converse. Lara was still up and ready to go, and I didn't bother tying them until we were out the door and in the car.
Riding in the passengers side, I looked at the house beside ours as we drove away, blinking away from it once it was out of view. I knew from start that I couldn't bring down my guard around Kevin, but... that look. It got to me.
What had I done wrong? Last night, we were perfectly fine. He kissed me goodbye. He laughed and held me and asked me if I really wanted to keep things going. He was... perfect.
As we drove up to the Starbucks cafe close by, it suddenly hit me. That's how Kevin was. He'd trap me in for a moment, maybe even an entire afternoon, and make me swoon. He'd make me laugh, and smile, and forget about a time where I wasn't happy in his arms. And then he'd do this.
Or maybe, I was just taking it too personal. Maybe something happened between him and his parents. Him and Eva. Maybe he got grounded. I glanced at my phone, half expecting a text from him to be there by now. Maybe calling off the date. It wasn't. I left it in my lap as I unbuckled, before picking it up as I got out the car.
I forced myself to snap back into the real world, glancing at Lara with yet another forced grin as I asked,
"What're you ordering?" She placed her car keys in her bag, walking over to the cafe door as she thought of her answer. I glanced over the lot. A few cars here and there. Not too busy.
"Iced Chai. Those things are like crack this time of the year." I giggled, opening the door for her.
"Like crack? That's a little much." She stuck her tongue out at me as she stepped in,
"What are you getting, Birdy?"
"Not sure." I hummed, glancing at the empty seats and then, to the display cases. Behind the counter, I saw a familiar face.
Freckled face and boyish smile, there was Sam. I felt my smile fall, though, as I noticed the skin around his eyes. They were sagged in and purple on his left, and there was a cut on his lip I hadn't seen the day before.
I glanced at Lara, forcing a smile as an idea came to mind,
"Tell me your order. I know someone who works here. I'm sure I can get us a discount." Lara seemed to brighten at the suggestion, searching through her bag again as she rattled it off, pulling out a twenty dollar bill and handing it to me,
"Look at you making friends. Aim for ten percent, and keep the change for yourself." She teased, before walking away. I rolled my eyes, stepping over to the counter where Sam seemed busy with something behind it.
"Woah. What does the other guy look like?" I teased warmly. His face broke into a smile as he looked up, his posture relaxed, before he seemed to realize it was me, and stiffened up. He dropped the smile and a glared,
"Wouldn't you know? You're dating him." My eyes widened in a mix of shock and offense,
"What are you talking about?" I questioned, my brain not quite piecing it together. Sam began to walk to the other side of the counter, and I followed, side stepping along as he answered,
"That freak of yours cornered me in the bathroom. He's lucky he caught me off guard or I would have-"
"Kevin did what?" I interrupted, feeling the drop in my voice. My mind quickly recanted the Friday afternoon. Kevin saw Sam and I talking. He looked furious. Kevin's bruised hands in class. That afternoon, he didn't like talking about keeping our options open. That night, when he was asking me to be his.
I wish I could say I didn't believe it, but I did. My expression must've been sordid, because Sam's anger seemed to lessen,
"You really didn't know?" I shook my head. We were at the register now, and without thinking I found myself reaching out and placing a gentle hand on his wrist,
"I'm sorry Sam. I really am. Fuck. He's an asshole, he shouldn't have touched you-" He shook his head, looking down at our hands before looking at me,
"It's fine, Dove. You didn't know. You obviously didn't ask him to come after me." He explained, sounding so normal I found myself half-questioning myself. Is this what normal guys were like? They didn't laugh when you showed concern?
"Still. I just—I'm so sorry." He shook his head, this time breaking out into a soft grin,
"Hey, don't worry about it. At least it makes me look tough." He teased, and I forced a small chuckle out. The smile didn't quite reach my face, though, so Sam continued, "Dove the only reason I was mad... was because I thought you sent him after me." I stared, and he continued,
"If asking you to hang out was creepy or something, I figured you could tell me without... you know, asking him to take care of it." This time, Sam's hand shifted, flipping so his palm now pressed against mine, instead of me just sheepishly touching his wrist.
I shook my head, a frown reaching my lips,
"I don't need Kevin to protect me. I can fight my own battles." I defended in annoyance, before pausing, "But you didn't do anything wrong. God, that asshole." I sighed, squeezing his hand a second. Sam looked down, as if he forgot we were holding hands.
I did as well.
We both looked up, before I pulled my hand away. I felt my cheeks warm a bit. What the hell was I doing?
"It's fine. At least you know what type of crazy he is now. You can stay away from him." Sam said lightheartedly. I chuckled softly,
"Yeah, I mean, he's my neighbor. I'm gonna have to chew him out tonight." Sam shook his head, but I insisted, "No, I will. I need to know why he did it."
Sam looked at me like he knew the answer, but instead glanced to the money in my other hand.
"You need a drink made?" I nodded, suddenly realizing where we were. After a glance behind me to make sure no one was waiting, I spouted out Lara's order and then my own.
"Just a grande coffee? Really?" Sam commented with a smirk. I narrowed my eyes at him,
"What's that supposed to mean?" I said, passing him the money. Our skin touched again. But that was it. No spark, no quickening heartbeat.
"Nothing." He smiled, "Just surprising." I scoffed, watching him count and pass me the change. I left a few extra bills in the tip jar, stepping back.
I let Sam and his coworker make the drinks. I stood close by incase he wanted to make conversation. He didn't say anything until our drinks were done and I stepped over to the pick-up counter,
"Two drinks for one lovely Dove Cooper." I laughed, taking them and looking him in the face. He was sweet, but the bruises. They weren't doing him any favors. I felt a pang in my chest again.
"Thanks." I smiled, before sighing, "I'm really, really sorry. Again." I stepped back, preparing myself to leave, but Sam spoke, causing me to stop,
"Wait. You can make it up to me." I batted my eyes up at him.
"Oh yeah? How?" He glanced at where Lara was sitting, and then the door,
"I might be able to get off in an hour. Are you busy tonight?" I felt my smile crack, just in the slightest. He didn't seem to notice, not until I spoke,
"Actually I... I have plans." He seemed to understand from my tone this time, his pleasant smile dropping,
"Let me guess. Asshole?" He asked. I couldn't bring myself to lie, just giving a short nod.
"Figured." He sneered. I felt myself sour at that, but I couldn't verbally lunge at him. He had every right to be upset.
"I'm sorry." I murmured again, "I'll talk to him." He shook his head,
"No need. You'll figure it out eventually." He muttered the last part underneath his breath. I paused, brows furrowing,
"What do you mean?" He sighed, refusing to look at me for a few seconds. We remained silent. I waited, before Sam shook his head again.
"Never mind. Forget I said anything." I stood there for a moment, watching him walk away. He stepped over to his coworker, said something with the word 'break' in it, and took off his apron. I watched as he exited through the other side of the counter, and walked out the door.
I gave a deep sigh and closed my eyes, before turning around and feigning a smile. Lara raised a brow,
"Was that your friend? Looked a little like a bad boy." I forced a laugh.
"Far from it. He just plays a rough sport." I lied, passing her the chai,
"Oh yeah? Football? Hockey?" I shook my head, taking a sip of my coffee. Not too hot. Not too cold. It was just right.
"Didn't ask." She raised a brow at me, before sighing,
"Alright then," She affirmed, a teasing smile on her lips, "just so you know, I like Kevin more." I tried for a grin, but couldn't. I looked away and sipped my coffee. Lara filled the silence,
"And speaking of him, let's talk about your date. So, from what he said..."
And although I was listening, I wasn't really there. My mind too busy with the thought of who Kevin really was, beyond just being the boy who said pretty things to me and did the unspeakable when I wasn't around. Beyond the boy who treated me like his world one night and looked at me like I was a stranger the next.
He could be so many things at once.
A shapeshifter.
-
Holy fuck did I just write for the first time in months? I guess so?
I'm on holiday with no wifi, so I've been nose deep in fanfics. Expect updates? Maybe don't? I know though, I'm really liking where the story is going. Sorry this may feel like filler but I hope it doesn't! Pls enjoy!
-jj