Blaise Beck-Day.
"Man, I am a fucking wreck. I am taking her out on a proper date tonight. Should I take her to see a movie? Or to dinner? I know her better than anyone else but I just don't want to mess this up. You got any ideas?"
He rocked in his chair, oxygen going up his nose in tubes as his eyes fluttered from me to the television with big captions over the screen so large that you could barely see the football game behind it.
He chuckled. "Take her to the races."
I raised an eyebrow, "We don't have races around here."
"I wasn't talking about that kind of racing." He continued to rock, his feet slowly coming up and off the ground and then back down again. The small fabric-covered chair squeaked as he moved.
I coughed. "Dinner and a movie? What should I get for dinner?"
He shook his head. "Dessert and a movie."
Chuckling, I pointed a finger at him. "You always had a sweet tooth, Buddy." I teased.
He stared me dead in the face. "Well– you always had a smart mouth. Your parents should've disciplined you more. I don't like my players acting like assholes."
I smiled at him knowingly. "Yes coach," I responded.
"What's Helen bringing home for dinner tonight? Maybe that's what I'll get our girl." I spread my legs wider on the couch as I relaxed. He whistled for a moment before shrugging.
"I was in the mood for pasta. She makes the best sauce but I'll tell you a secret, it's not homemade. It's Ragu, and she adds a cup of sugar to it. The best sweet sauce you'll ever have. Trust me."
Just hearing spaghetti sauce and sugar in the same sentence made my skin crawl but it's what he loves and she made it so it's even more special. This then got me thinking... Did Sage like that sauce too?
"You know what– I think I might make that tonight."
"Don't, you'll ruin it. Who knows where those hands have been? Disgusting." I burst into laughter, his eyes crinkling as he laughed too. His hands went up to his scalp, itching it. There were slight blood bruises all over his arms and hands that made my heart swivel up.
The worst part about growing up is watching all of our favorite people grow old. Now I understood why every single person around me growing up would always warn me to not grow up so fast. Growing up sucks. Everyone dies, you become lonely, you make tough decisions, and then you grow old.
"I brought you something here today, something that I want to read to you. I think you'd like to hear." His eyebrows raised as he stopped rocking. I smiled.
"Your great-granddaughter is just like you. She writes letters, this is the last one she sent me. I brought it to read to you. I thought maybe you would want to hear it because it's a start of a new beginning for me. It's one of the reasons why I'm back."
He was quiet.
I reached into my jacket pocket, the smell of her still lingered on me from when she hugged me a couple of hours ago. I held onto our hugs for a minute or more when she was in my arms, I didn't ever want to forget the way she smelled.
I fumbled with the paper, unfolding it before clearing my throat.
"Dear Blaise,
I have officially lost everything that shows me what it meant to have hope.
Hope is a four-letter word that has done nothing but let me down since you walked away.
I had hope every time I saw something that I thought was a sign that you were thinking of me, or that you were coming back. I had hoped so I stopped going over to your bedroom at your parent's house because I knew every time I walked into your room, I'd be getting my hopes up.
Only for you to let them down, every single time.
I don't know what went wrong and quite frankly, I am so hurt. I am wrecked. I am crushed. I just miss you and I want to see you so badly. I want to ask you everything I never got the chance to ask you before you walked out on me.
You walked out on me– how could you?
I don't know if I'll write to you next week. My tears have dried up so the ink on this pen isn't working anymore. I hope you are happy. I hope you are thriving, and I hope it was worth it.
Sage."
I rubbed my nose as I tried to push back the emotions that were fighting their way to the front of my eyes. I didn't need to cry, but I felt the urge to. Feeling that pain, reading all of that pain that I caused. That's why I really thought she would be overjoyed to see me that first day I came back.
But nope, I had another thing coming for me and I'm glad she made me work for this second chance because I got to know her so much better during this time.
Buddy clapped after I read, he smiled at me, then continued to rock. "She's a great writer actually. And you can read her handwriting, unlike your chicken scratch." I teased. His eyes moved back to the television.
Alrighty, it was time to go. I was losing him for the night. It was getting late too.
"Well, I'm leaving," I announced as I hauled my body off of the couch. I walked to him, brushing my hand on his shoulder, and giving it a gentle squeeze. He ignored it, but spoke.
"Okay, be safe going home."
I smiled, and my head dropped for a moment before I sucked in a deep breath, walking toward the door. Good old, Buddy Webber. The heart and soul of this town. The once tall old man who walked around like he had a stick in his ass but secretly had a heart of gold was now a short old man confined to a wheelchair, losing his memory– he still was the best kind of guy around.
As I walked toward my car, I rang my mom. It was cold outside, the October air just a week away from going into the first week of November. The air was becoming brisk. As she picked up the call, there was rustling in the background before she spoke.
'Hi! Hi!" She greeted through the speaker. I entered my car, phone up to my ear as I slid into the cold leather seats. I turned on the car and the engine roared to life, she scoffed in my ear as she heard the engine purr.
"Hi mom, do you have ragu sauce?" I asked.
"No, I do not have ragu sauce lying around. I don't cook, Blaise. Hold on, let me see if daddy has sauce."
"I'm going to hang up this phone if you call him that one more time." I bitched as I set the phone down on the passenger seat as I rubbed my hands together, waiting for it to heat up.
"Blaise you are so sensitive." Mom teased as I heard her heels click throughout the house.
"Blake, do you have ragu?" She asked.
"No, what's ragu?" Dad asked.
"The sauce." She responded, I cracked a smile laughing. I could perfectly imagine how this was playing out in my head as if it were a movie.
"What sauce?" He asked again.
"Fucking pasta sauce, Blake!" Mom said as if he were dumb. Dad laughed.
"You just asked me if I had ragu sauce? Get out of here, baby. I make the actual sauce not store-bought." He bitched.
She sighed loudly. "Blaise, I'm sorry but your father does not have any sauce."
"Is that my boy? Tell my boy to come over!" I heard dad yelling in the background as I pulled out of the nursing home parking lot. The warm air hit me as a heaven-sent gift.
"I have a date tonight or I would!" I said.
"You have a date tonight! Hold on, let me put you on speakerphone." Mom exclaimed.
"Un rendez-vous ce soir! Que fais-tu avec elle?" Dad yelled, and it echoed through the speaker, and I could hear mom walk toward his voice.
(A date tonight! What are you doing with her?)
"I want to make Helen's spaghetti sauce! Bud gave me the idea, I just left his room." I explained as I drove toward the small corner store that sold the necessities like beer, pasta sauce, and pregnancy tests.
"See that, babe! He gets those cooking skills from me. Although I would not consider the idea of using store-bought sauce as being a cooking extraordinaire like myself, I guess you will have to make do with what you have." I rolled my eyes as I pulled into a parking space.
"Alright guys, I'm at the grocery store. I'll send you both a picture of my amazing sauce whenever I get done with it. I love you both."
"Red wine, Blaise. Get red wine!" Mom yelled before yelling she loved me then proceeded to hang up.
As I stepped out of my car, the air seemed even colder. The store was small on the inside, small enough that you saw everyone. As I walked down the chip aisle, I headed for the sauce aisle that was tucked in right next to the condiments.
At the end of the aisle was a long liquor wall. My eyebrows raised as I saw a certain someone grabbing two cases of beer that was on sale. I walked down the aisle, passing the sauce, not caring at all.
"Let me help you carry those," I spoke as I took one out of Slater's arms.
He glared. "No, I've got it. Trust me, I don't need your help." He said. I chuckled, holding it above his head, and above my own. "Okay, reach for it." I teased.
He rolled his eyes. "Damnit Blaise, just give me it back."
"How's your arm from the other day? I was pretty worried when you ran off. I just want to make sure that you were resting it well during practice."
"I'm fine." He was short with me, nervous and agitated. He gave me a pleasing look and I didn't crack.
A guy walked back up to the counter, He slid a pack of cigarettes across the counter and my mouth dropped open in disgust. Of course, I had the occasional smoke, but never would I buy a pack and genuinely take a rip out of it.
"Thanks, Mike. I'll see you soon."
The guy with the long beard behind the counter nodded. "This is your second and third case of beer this week, Slater. Tone it down a bit. You're still a minor." Mike, the guy behind the counter said.
I was fuming.
"Exactly, he is a minor. He shouldn't be doing stuff like that!" I was stressed. Slater laughed, rolling his eyes and yanking back his other case of beer from me. I don't know how he was juggling it all in his grasp.
"I'd rather die living than suffering." He said as he walked past me, carrying everything. I furrowed my eyebrows. I quickly followed behind him, swiping a ragu traditional sauce. I fished out a twenty and threw it on the counter as I walked behind him.
"You don't have a ride, let me give you a ride. Please?" I asked.
"You want to spend time with me?" He laughs loudly.
"I have a date with your sister tonight," I answered.
"Was the supermarket out of flowers so you decided to bring me as a gift instead? Newsflash– she hates me too. Or she doesn't hate me, she just doesn't forgive me. I don't know anymore at this point." I held open the car door, waiting for him to get in. He just shook his head.
"I live right down the road. I'll be fine. You heard him, I do this a lot." I was becoming infuriated.
"Does Reese know? Do your parents know?" I asked.
"No. But he knows about how bad my injury is and what happened on the mat the other day. I'm just waiting for him to tell me I'm cut. I'm ruining myself in the process so I don't feel as bad whenever he delivers the blow." He avoids the parents question.
I shook my head.
"So you'd rather suffer now and prove a point to yourself that they aren't kicking you off because of your arm but rather because you just wish to give up and blame it on someone other than you? Hmm?" I asked as I watched him walk away with all of the things in his arms.
"What do you care, Blaise? When have you ever cared? You only are offering me a ride home right now because of my sister. You don't actually care, you are just a people pleaser." He says before completely walking away. The only noise was from his shoes as he walked down the pathway toward his house.
I sighed loudly before slamming the car door that I had held open for him. By the time I was on the road again, pasta sauce in hand, he was down his road with his arms full. I guess he could walk home but still, I offered.
He's just in a tough spot.
I made it back up to my apartment with an hour to spare. I quickly ran to the shower, washing myself before throwing on a comfy pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. I ran back to the kitchen to start on the sauce which was very intimidating.
What if it tastes like shit? I never heard her raging about her grandma's pasta sauce when she was younger so what if she doesn't like it? I made sure to grab the non-meat sauce, and I kept everything separate for her.
I had just dumped the noodles when I heard a knock on my door. I dropped the pan in the sink as I walked to the door, a white towel strung over my shoulder as I opened the door. Just as per usual, when I see her my breath gets whisked away. She is truly the most beautiful thing to have ever happened to me
As I threw the door open she stood there, a smile on her flushed face. She wore a big hoodie that was two times her size as she stepped inside, offering me a hug. As per usual, I took it as if it were the best thing ever.
Sometimes when I look at her, I'm so scared she doesn't exist. She is way too beautiful to just simply exist by herself, let alone coexist with someone like me. Her cheeks are flushed red as she wraps her around me.
"It smells amazing inside of your apartment." She kissed my cheek, walking around me. I stood there for a moment, dazed and confused at the fact that she was the one kissing my cheek acting as if she missed me as much as I missed her in the few hours spent apart.
"You coming?" She teased me.
I stood there in the doorway like an idiot, rubbing my cheek with a dazed smile on my face. I nodded slowly as she broke out into a giggle. I turned, staring at her, finally gaining my mentality back after a moment of seeing her.
I wanted to marry this woman more than anyone in this damn woman.
I shut the door behind me as she placed her purse on the counter beside her. I placed two large spoons into the sauce and the other into the noodles. She smiled at me as she sauced the pasta. "Oh my god! Did you make all of this? There's no way I'll be able to eat all of that." I'd make you any food in the world Sage, just as long as you stare at me with the most amazing eyes.
"That's okay. I've got a big appetite. Why don't you have a seat, I'll get you a plate." I offered, pulling her chair out for her. Her eyes widened as she sat down, feeling me push her chair in. She stared at me as I walked back over to the pasta, grabbing a dish and filling it.
"You're making me eat quickly," She teased.
"We have a schedule tonight," I said.
She thanked me before asking. "What's the schedule?" She asked.
"Wait and see, Chenille," I said as I sat down with my own plate.
I stared at her as she went to take her first bite. She blew on it for a moment, cooling it down before shoving it in her mouth, quickly chewing and then swallowing. I went to put a forkful into my mouth but her eyes met mine, and her hand clasped my wrist from across my table.
My eyes widened in alarm.
"Blaise." She said my name.
I smiled, taking a bite. The sauce was indeed sweet. It was something that reminded me of my childhood. I had this before, maybe once. It was indeed years ago, but I could tell just with one drop hitting Sage's tongue, she was full of emotions.
She cleared her throat as she took another bite, stirring the sauce around on her plate, not deciding to comment on the sauce. But she ate the shit out of everything as if it were her last time having it. Of course, now seeing her reaction to it– it wasn't going to be the last time she had it. I'd make it for her all of the time if it meant watching her react like that to a bite of food.
"We're watching a movie after this," I announced.
Her eyes widened. "Oh yeah? Which one?" She asked.
"You can pick. Either a Halloween one or Christmas?" I asked.
She smiled. "Christmas, duh." She teased.
I nodded. "Good. Hope you're in the mood to watch Love Actually." She groaned.
"Oh my god! I forgot how much you love that movie!" I smiled as I took another bite of the pasta, and honestly, the sauce was growing on me.
There was a candle across from me that was lit, and Sage's hazel eyes were glowing due to the flutter of the flame. I swore, when she smiled at me, or stared, glared at me, laughed, scoffed, or even rolled her eyes at me– the flame grew between the two of us.
"I'm a hopeful romantic, what can I say? Plus, it has a wedding and Christmas. Two things that are coming up." I reminded her.
She nodded. "Yes! The rehearsal is tomorrow. Her wedding is like twelve days away and she's having us do this crazy rehearsal that we're all going to forget by then." She bitched. I nodded.
"But she has two scheduled next week and the rehearsal dinner." I reminded her.
She sighed, "So what are you going for Halloween?" She asked.
"I told you– one sorry and sick son of a bitch. Or could you not remember that over my lips ravishing your body yesterday?" I teased. Her cheeks blushed pink, the same color as the baby pink hoodie she had on.
"Blaise." She whispered my name which made the hairs stand up on my arms.
"Sage," I responded in the same tone.
She held her fork as if she were going to take another bite but her hand froze as she stared at me. And continued to stare at me more. That's all we did with each other since I came back was stare. It was like I couldn't take my eyes off of what I deprived the both of us of.
Would it always be like this? She would just continue to gain more beauty while I just watched from the sideline in awe. I had no problem doing that. The way she looked– she deserved an award.
I watched as she picked up her glass of water, and took a sip of it. Her tongue ran over her lips as she sat the glass down. "You did great, Blaise. Next time I'll cook."
Next time. She said next time.
I was sure my heart was going to beat through my chest. I was sure of it.
"Yeah, totally." I sounded like a blubbering idiot but I don't care. I couldn't care. I didn't have room to care. She wanted another date with me. I just had to keep it calm. Keep it cool, calm, and collected.
She stood up, grabbing her plate. I shook my head. "No, no, sit down. I'll get it." I demanded. She laughed, shaking her head. "You cooked, I clean."
I sighed, standing up with her. "How about I leave the dishes in the sink and the dishwasher gets loaded tomorrow after we are done watching the movie?" I asked. She pondered it for a moment before nodding.
I smiled and so did she. I let out a goofy chuckle. One that shocked her and made her laugh. I headed toward the large sectional that was in the middle of the living room. The movie was already loaded up, I just needed to turn on the television. Truth be told, I didn't have a Halloween movie planned. I wasn't actually giving her a choice. But I knew she would remember how much I adored that movie.
I settled on the couch. She sat at my feet, while I sat at hers. I tossed my arms behind my head, my biceps flexing as I felt her gaze on me. I hoped that I could crawl my way up toward her so my body could be pressed against hers.
As the movie started to play, I tried to find the right words to say.
"I enjoy this," I said. Well, more like blurted out. My face flushed red as her head snapped toward me and off of the television screen. She batted her eyelashes at me and I swore my heart was going to give out.
"Me too, French Fry. Me too."
As the first fifteen minutes of the movie went on, we giggled at the silly parts. It felt just like I remember. The first time I watched this movie with her, we giggled and hid under the blankets, especially during the sex scenes.
At thirty minutes in, I made up some popcorn, which she tried to throw up in the air and catch in her mouth but to her disadvantage, half of it was now on my thousand-dollar carpet and in her beautiful hair.
At an hour in, I noticed her giggles start to slow and the room became quiet. I turned my head, and what I saw had my heart slowly beating and crawling up my throat. I watched as her chest rose and fell as she slept as light as a feather. Suddenly, I found her more interesting in a movie that I had found interesting for years.
The way that she slept was something that always made my heart pound and my skin flush. Just staring at her, I'm overwhelmed with the feeling that I hadn't ever had to search for when it came to her. My god, I was so in love with this woman I would lose my mind if I didn't have her for the rest of my life.
I slowly stood up from the couch, the clock reading near midnight. I walked toward her, plucking the popcorn off of her hair. Slowly and gently, I scooped her up into my arms, her head smacking off of my chest. I didn't move as I felt her start to wiggle in my arms before going slack again.
I carried her toward my room, placing her in the middle of my bed. I covered her up, pressing my lips to her forehead. "Tu me manques et je t'aime." I whispered to her sleeping figure. I slowly walked out of the room, shutting the door behind me.
(Missed you and love you.)
I grabbed the blanket off of the back of the couch and laid down on it, shutting off the television. The couch was not nearly as comfortable as my bed, but I wasn't going to sleep with her in a bed that I didn't know if she was comfortable sleeping with me in.
As I was dozing off I heard the crack of the door come from my bedroom. I was too lazy to open my eyes but I opened them only when I felt her pull the throw blanket off of me. Using me as a human pillow, just like she always had, she climbed on top of me– putting her head on my chest, covering the both of us back up with a small blanket.
I swallowed the loud-ass laugh that was trying to leave my laugh but it quickly disappeared as I felt her lips on my cheek.
"Was that my grandma's sauce?" She asked.
I opened my eyes. "Yes?"
She smiled at me, ducking her head down and laying it on my chest. I felt her finger tracing patterns on my shoulder. I felt her suck in a shallow breath.
"Missed you and love you too."
Hey besties!
How are we!
The biggest I regret I have with this book is the fact that I wished I could've delivered faster. I'm hoping that it didn't hurt the way you all read the book. But ily and I promise I'm updating super frequent at the moment until the end. I love you all so so so much.
Thanks for everyone & happy holidays!